But I digress. Back to mom being a sewer (duh, I think the word is seamstress). So she made most of my costumes. One year I was a die (my brother was the other part of the pair). That was the most awkward of costumes as you are stuck inside a box from Ed's liquor that has been painted terribly by you. You can't get within five feet of anyone else because of the damn box. Another year I was Jeanie from "I Dream of Jeanie". I had the perfect hair for that high pony tail and my mom made these cool sheer tights to wear. I'm pretty sure I didn't wear underwear because that's just how I rolled. Plus I think Major Nelson would have liked it.
Two costumes, however, make me cringe to remember. The first one is that I read some book, I think by Judy Blume, and got the idea to dress as a fried egg. "It will be simple," I told my mom. "I'll just use a white sheet and sew a yellow circle to the top. Everyone will know who I am." It was a total bust. Everyone and I mean everyone thought I was a ghost with a yellow head. I was heartbroken.
But the one that takes the cake is this: my mom used to work for Planned Parenthood. She was an RN and a counselor of sorts. She would talk women through their options and was on site to assist women medically if they made the choice to go through with the procedure. My mom is not in favor of abortion, but more of a women's right to choose. She worked at PP when I was about ten years old. She brought me some scrubs to wear for Halloween so I could be a doctor. I even had those cool slip on feetie things with the elastic. Unfortunately at the age of ten, I didn't really understand all of the controversy around abortion. I actually don't even think I knew exactly what it was. So I go around to all of these houses saying "Trick or treat. I'm an abortion doctor." Yeah, I can pretty much see you all cringing now. I cringe just thinking about it. If there was anything ever so un-politically correct, it was that. I didn't understand the weird looks I got or why some people refused to give my candy. I told my mom. Yikes, she was mortified. "You were SUPPOSED to be just a doctor. A general practitioner. Why couldn't you have just been a general practitioner???"
Now I'm sitting here writing this thinking you are all going to judge my mother. Not for making jumpers, but for being pro-choice and for working at PP. She is no heathen. This was her decision and one she felt was just at the time. It was also 30 years ago. But this blog is not about her and her choices...
Here's me today: a lampshade. Far cry from a fried egg but just about as exciting
So, what was your most mortifying Halloween costume? It can be past or recent. I know there are some doozies out there. Or you could talk about the time you did something really un-PC on accident.
***Ahh man, this is an after post addition - because Graze with Me, who went as Bill Cosby when she was ten years old, reminded me of another totally un-PC costume. 14 years ago I went as Nicole Simpson (full on with a pretend gash in my neck) and my husband went as OJ. Really poor taste.