Friday, August 14, 2009

A Very Special Giveaway. Like Nothing You've Seen.

I know you all thought I was a drama queen about my toe trauma from my race last weekend. Don't even say you haven't been thinking about my toe, and that you skimmed over that paragraph in my race report because the report was too long to begin with and you read ten million blogs and it was enough info already.

I'm hear to tell you that that damn toe has given me issues since Saturday. It even took me to the doctor. I usually don't go to the doctor unless it's girl time - "scootch to the end of the table, this is going to feel a little bit cold, here is some pressure," and all that (ugh and when did they start doing that rectal exam? That was quite a surprise at my last physical). But my toe was throbbing and worst of all I couldn't run. After two days of no running I was ugly to be around and I contemplated a new habit that would not wreak havoc with my feet, legs, glutes, hams, toenails - like meth or crack. Neither of which is good for family life.

So - to the doc I went (BTW, this is where the giveaway comes in so hang in there). She looked at me sideways,"You idiot you came here for that? I have people with raging STDs, people with the swine flu, people with ingrown hairs and you come to me with a bruised big toe? Well, waahh waahh," she said as she pretended to play a violin. Well, she wasn't really that harsh, but you know that's what she was thinking. What she really said was, "It's not infected. Run if you want. You're going to lose that nail. It could take six months or you could soak it and it will fall off more quickly."
I'm going to soak the crap out of that baby. That's right, and...wait for it...I am going to give away my toenail to one lucky reader. All you have to do is to leave a comment about what you would do with my toenail if you got it. Some of you might want it for a special locket, others might want to add it to their Superbowl crock pot of chili. As a bonus, I will even paint it the OPI color of your choice: Cha-ching Cherry, Tangerini Bikini or Pink-ing of You. It's up to you, but the most creative comment wins.

Here's a confession: I am a giveaway wannabe. I don't know where you guys get all this cool schwag you give away. I have nothing to offer. Nothing. So I give you the toenail.


  1. I feel your pain sista... just got a shiny new one of those this week. That makes me down to only 3 functioning toe nails. Oh the joys of running...

  2. Been there! (Many times!) I usually end up pulling at the nail with tweezers to help loosen it up... you know, speed up the process!

    Um, please DON'T put my name in the hat for the giveaway. ;)

  3. Sign me UP!!

    This is just proof I sign up for way too many giveaways!

  4. oooof. I really don't want it. I just hope you don't get a pedicure and they lose it in the drain.

  5. That's AWESOME. Awesome. I went to the food doctor when I was having toenail issues, and I pretty much got the same speech. "You came in here for THAT?"

  6. T: too bad you hurt your toe
    O: one of my actual toes once turned black
    E: epsom salt help for the soak
    N: non-runners will never understand
    A: at my last exam they did NOT do that
    I: if need be I'd say take up pills
    L: luckily you're a strong woman and will make it!

    Ok I don't want your nail but I wanted to play the game anyway.

  7. LMAO!!! You poor thing - that has to be so frustrating and painful. At least the bruise color goes well with the pink polish. :)

  8. Been there; done that; got the t-shirt. Keep your toe nail as a tribute to your fortitude - might I suggest a shadow box.

  9. I do want the toenail. So, Julie here's my poem...

    Dear Toenail, Dear Toenail
    Please Don't Fail Me Now
    Hurry and fall off so I may allow
    More running and funning
    That doesn't give me a fit
    Making me hollar you sonofabitch!

    I don't really want it but it would make a good joke on somebody's salad.

  10. If I win your toe nail I will put it in my compost pile. It will compost and become soil, which will in turn be part of my garden next year. Our vegetables will grow from your composted toe nail. We will eat the vegetables, and then your toe nail will be of part of our bodies forever and ever.

    P.S. They say that if your "pointer toe" is longer than your big toe it means you're sexy. I have to say I have never seen a pointer toe tower over a big toe like that in all the feet that I've ever seen - in person or on the internet. Just sayin'

  11. You are too much!! Just wanted you to know that you're one of my favorite glad I found you!!

  12. That is so sick!

    P.S. I am a giveaway wanna be too! But toenails may just be stretching it! :)

    Love your blog! I found it through Tall Mom on the Run!

  13. eww no free toenails for me thank you :)

    To link back to a giveaway copy the URL of the post and then in blogger you should see a little thing that looks like a chain link. highlight the text you want to link, click on that and you will get a window to put in the link. so same idea as linking back to your previous post, you are just using the URL from the post i or someone else does about a giveaway

  14. haaaa! i hope your toenail falls of and then toe heals quickly.

  15. if i won your toenail i would stow it away in my running shoes before races for goodluck. opi color of choice strawberry margarita

  16. Hah! You crack me up!
    No offense, but your feet are about as ugly as runners should be proud! I would swallow the toenail and hope that it would scratch that itch that I can't quite get to when it came out. JK of course!

  17. i feel your pain.......

    Marathon training
    toenail loss: 1 almost 2!

    ahhhhh i would appreciate it if my piggies would STOP falling off!!!

  18. OH.MY.GAWD! That was hilarious! I can't believe you were thinking of making your toenail part of a giveaway! Haha! Wait, you're serious...aren't you!
    I have to ask though, I haven't had a black toe before...what happens when it falls off? Is it all raw skin under there? Doesn't that hurt more! AAAAAA! Good luck sista'!
    BTW, my mamma says that when the pointer toe is longer than the big toe, you're royalty. Cool, hunh?

  19. If I win, I swear to bob, I will make a loverly earring out of it. Tangerini Bikini, please! Ha!

  20. I'll see your toenail and raise you one chafed nipple.