Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wish They Were Mine



It's finally here. We're off to Oregon in the morning for the relay. I will be in seat 13E. Right in the middle. Just where I love to be since you can't look out the window and can't stretch your feet in the aisle. I hope I have a really heavy set and odorous person to my right and a really talkative person to my left who has just come back from a convention about how to treat hemorrhoids. I do seem to attract these types and the only redeeming thing is that it makes for some good blogging.

Speaking of good blogging - awhile back in an effort to attract more support for me winning the Hood to Coast Relay contest, I promised some boob shots. In clothing, of course. Vanilla seemed to really get excited about this and now that I've gone on to win the damn contest I feel obligated. Only problem is, I don't have any tatas. None. But I do have socks. So here ya go:



That rack would be SO nice if they were my own and not a pair of khaki knee highs from Kohl's.

So I've done my shopping from the recommended packing list. Here are some of the goods:



Most of the stuff revolves around pain relief and hygiene. I have never before taken a bath with Huggies baby wipes, but I think this might be in my immediate future. Such wipes can also be used for ass wiping (and not just the asses of babies), so they always come in handy.

So wish us luck. Wish for us that:
  • All of my farting and possible sharting is taken with good humor
  • Our team doesn't hate us because we're so old and slow
  • I look good in my black ninja outfit
  • It doesn't rain
  • Our marriage can withstand a 197 mile relay
  • I don't shit my pants (please wish really hard on this one)
  • Ken's possible torn calf holds up (and I don't mean baby cow)
  • The hemorrhoid convention was interesting


More fun and interesting blogging to come once the adventure commences at 6:30pm Friday night!!

28 comments:

  1. I can't believe the relay is already here! Good luck! I am so excited to read about it when you return!

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  2. LMAO khaki knee highs! I don't know where I've been, but I didn't know you won the contest. YAAAY congrats!! Have fun and I can't wait to hear all about it!

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  3. Good luck on the relay!! I will patiently await the hilarity of the blogs to come!! I will also begin my wishes for all of your listed items, especially #6!!! Safe travels and have fun, it's an adventure of a lifetime! Enjoy!

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  4. Awesome! I can't wait to hear all about it!!!! Have a great time!

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  5. Sharting! hahahahahahah

    GOOD LUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!

    Fingers crossed extra tight for bullet #6

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  6. Have fun stay positive and remember we all support you and think you're fabulous no matter what!

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  7. Woot! Woot! Nice BOOBS! Good luck; can't wait to hear the race report! The most important part though....have FUN!

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  8. hahah nice boobs ;) good luck in oregon beth!

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  9. Good Luck!

    Do all your farting on the plain. That will fix the odiferous person next to you, because everyone will blame it on him.

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  10. Plain = PLANE! I'm a Doofus...

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  11. Good luck girl!!! Can't wait to hear all about it!

    P.S. I totally feel your pain... I stuff all the time! LOL!

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  12. LMAO at the sock-boobs!

    have an amazing time. Can't wait to read about your antics!

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  13. You will do awesome! Love the boob shot!

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  14. Can't wait to hear all about it, you will totally rock this! Hope your ass holds up! :)

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  15. the socks. THE SOCKS! i need to jump on that bandwagon because my tatas are NON existent! boo. GOOD LUCK in the race, i hope the sharting is managable.

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  16. Whoo Hoo! I'm excited for you guys! Wouldn't a very light rain be nice during the day? Might be really messy though. Speaking of messy... hope all things come out when they are suppose to. :) And yeah, I wouldn't mind some boobs like that. Can't wait to hear how it goes. Good Luck!

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  17. May you have clean air, dry shorts, plentiful porta-potties, and fast legs!

    PS: to get the race photos, you do a screen print (cntrl-alt-print scrn button) then open your photo program (photoshop or God-forbid MSPaint) and cntrl-V to paste it in. the trim off all the rest of the junk except your pic and re-save as a jpg. Voila!!

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  18. Hey, don't paint me as the only pervert! Jamoosh was pretty excited about it too!

    Good Luck!

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  19. Good luck & have fun!!!

    Nice tits :D

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  20. Go get em girl!! Can't wait to hear some good shit, fart, and hemerroid stories. Good luck!

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  21. Damn, they look pretty real to me! I gotta get me some of those for the weekend....

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  22. Stumbled across your blog.. FUNNY post!! Best of luck with your race, and your flight UGH!!

    FYI Pearl Izumi Shorts Giveaway on my Blog if you are interested :)

    Have a great weekend!

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  23. Can't wait to read the report. GOOD LUCK!!!

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  24. ummm, uh....ummmm
    if you do meet that hemmoroid convention guy...well...umm.. oh never mind!!

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  25. good luck! and sweet rack for sure! can i borrow it sometime?

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  26. GOOD LUCK with the race!!!! Sending you good wishes that you don't shit your pants. :)

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  27. Nice rack, baby!!
    I'm crossing all my body parts for you that you do NOT shart yourself.
    Have a blast!! (But not in your pants.)

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