The winners of the giveaways are:
For the female: #256 Meg at MOrfit. In her comment entry she said, “I would love to win that gear because I really don't have any running gear. I run in what I wear to the gym for everything!”
For the male: #459 Wild Bill who uses a duct taped Camelback he found on a trail. Dude needs some gear!
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your addresses and sizes and I will make sure your stuff gets to you as soon as possible so you can start looking like real runners and be done with the dorkiness.
Now for the picture voting. You guys had me ROTLMAOWPMNAPG (Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off while picking my nose and passing gas). Seriously, the pictures were good, but your commentary of your own pictures is what made it the best!. So – you can vote for one guy and one gal. Only vote once. Winners will be announced on Sunday, April 18.
GUYS (only five submitted):
1. Kristen says about her fiancé, George (AKA Buzz Light-year), “He is insane and has no running clothes. He actually ran a 5K like this.”
I hope his run took him to infinity and beyond. I bet you get some serious crotch sweat in that thing. I think George almost looks like Obama in this picture.
2. Suzy writes about her husband, guy in the orange, “ He will only buy two kinds of running gear: shoes and sunglasses. All other clothing is selected randomly from his closet. His base layer is whatever cotton, long sleeve shirt with too short sleeves he grabs out of his drawer. On top he puts on his reversible basketball tank that is black and orange that he bought back in the mid-nineties. He tops it all off with a bright orange hunting hat.”
While this isn’t a totally outrageous get up, it’s still kinda creepy. I like how it matches the jogger.
3. Wild Bill’s girlfriend (Funderson from Brilliance Wasted) explains, “My sweetheart Wild Bill is RIDICULOUS when it comes to his running gear. We went to the desert this weekend and here is Wild Bill in all his “running gear” glory. YES those are cotton socks and YES he really runs in those shoes and has done for several obvious years now. The pants are cut-off dirt biking pants and the shirt (sans elbows) is his ONE actual piece of technical gear that he procured in the lost and found at the hockey rink. Also see a picture of the camel back he found. He swears it isn’t a kid-sized one…just “mini”…..”
Oh Bill, I love the duct taped Camel Back. If only it was a camel toe. Show us your face, Wild Bill!
4. Dax from Dirty Running says, “This is me as a fairy. Sorry no camel toe.”
What about a moose knuckle?
5. Dennis says about his photo, “Whoever said good things come in small packages was dead wrong. I am large, in charge and in need of some new running gear as you'll see by the attached pictures. Even if I don't win, I won't hold it against you. I'll keep reading your blog even if I'm thinking bad thoughts the entire time.”
Nice, Dennis. Well, maybe I’m already thinking bad thoughts about you or something. Do you have any pupils in your eyes?
Oh ladies. You did not disappoint! I got so many entries and had to narrow down to the top 10. As the Bachelor would say, “This is by far the most difficult decision I have ever had to make.” The photos were all really entertaining, and I give everyone so much credit for taking on the challenge.
1. Jen at Setting U Free wants you to know, “Here is my funny shot – even my dog thinks I am crazy. Courtesy of my 5 year old… who DID NOT want to take this pic.”
I just can’t imagine why a 5 year old wouldn’t want to see his mother this way. So odd.
2. Victoria from Vickismalls describes her get up: “That is a COLORADO t-shirt, ma'am. I'm not above ass kissing. I have family in Denver and I think they gave me this when I was a child. It wasn't always a barely-covers-the-boobs shirt. I also showcase the iPod earbuds going down and under my shirt, making it look like they are in my crotch. The Georgia O'Keeffe prints in the background round out this vagina theme.”
Oh Victoria. You know how I love a good vagina theme. And Colorado would be proud of those big boobs.
3. Amanda from Run To the Finish says, “Well this was as crazy as I could think of.”
Pretty crazy, Amanda, especially if you are leaving the house.
4. Aimee over at I Tri To Be Me says, “Here are some photos and reasons why I need new running gear. 1) My shirts are so worn out that they have holes in them. 2) My shorts are poofy and make me look like a man. I assure you, I do NOT have a penis! 3) My head is so small that all the hats/visors I get from races are way too big to wear.”
Crap, I was really hoping that was a penis!
5. Sarah from Skinny Runner describes her outfit this way: “"Grandpa" compression socks and an outfit made in Ronald McDonald's dreams. so fug.”
Sarah, the only redeeming thing going on here is that you are a Marathon Maniac. Other than that – well, pass the quarter pounder with cheese.
6. Crazy Clair of Own Your Backbone wants you to know, “I need running clothes and gear so badly. I have been hiding in the woods my whole life. I am from the movie Nell. After I learned to speak and not grunt the old craggy shit holed me up in a no-tell motel. Here's me learning how to use my running shoes. The reason I need the gear is I'm tired of drinking out of shit-infested streams along the trails of my 20-mile daily workouts. I end up farting like a loon. A little purified creek water would be nice.
Clair, I’m pretty sure Nell didn’t have those muscular jambs like you do. As for farting like a loon, I don’t think running clothes are going to help with that.
7. Meg says, “I had to threaten my husband with no nookie for a month just to get him to stop laughing long enough to take the photo. And yes...I actually went outside like this.”
Oh Meg, I’m so glad that your husband won’t go without. I hope you wear the outfit as part of foreplay.
8. Barefoot Angie B describes her photo this way, “I have a serious potato going on (I’m guessing this means crotch bulge?)! This is also ironic or funny or whatever since I am a barefoot runner!”
The potato make the picture. Without it, you are just some hot chick with high shorts. Nice ‘fridge magnets!
9. Brooke in the royal blue unitard , “So this is what I used to run in with a shirt over. Then I got fat and now I am back to getting skinny and still have to run in my old clothing from the 80's. My shoes are old even and so I am not showing them because I am going to get new ones soon. And I am shy faced since being so fat that I really have a hard time exposing all. Just glad to get running again and hope to gain a new running outfit too.”
Brooke, this was a totally courageous entry. I don’t know a single person who could pull off this outfit. I give you some major kudos!
10. Marlene says, “I may have had a little too much fun with this, and my husband may be pretending he doesn't know me.”
Oh, those crazy Canadians!
Thanks for your votes and good luck to the contestants! Results will be announced Monday, April 19.