Thursday, April 22, 2010

Q & A Time

I don’t get tons of questions from bloggers. Probably because I’m no expert on anything, and everyone knows it.  But, occasionally I get a query and I don’t want to leave you hanging. So, read on:

Apple Crumbles asked, “The day after a long run, say 18 - 22 miles or even a marathon, do you feel depressed or cranky? I'm trying to figure out if I refueled correctly or if it's simply over stressing.”

Hello my Apple Crumble friend! What are apple crumbles anyway? Reminds me of cobbler or streusel…hmmm…streusel.  But, I digress. Yes, I get a bit out of whack the day after a long run or a race. Mostly it’s because I’m usually taking the day off and don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not running and getting that adrenaline fix. However, sometimes, I’m just glad to have the freaking day off!

Certainly after a race, especially a marathon, there is that mental letdown of knowing what you have worked for over the past months has come and gone. My advice, be kind to yourself and don’t spend too much time dwelling on if/why you’re in the mood you’re in. Just re-focus and put your energies elsewhere. Like making something with apples that crumbles and sending it to me.

FitMacDaddy proclaimed, “Man, I would not be a runner if I had your intestines! I can't even poop in someone else's house, let alone on the side of the road. I've been known to hold in my poops for entire camping trips!”

Then he wanted to know, “What is your marathon goal now that you're such a speedster?”

Wow, Mac Daddy. My hope for you is that you never go on a two week camping trip. And not pooping in people’s houses? That’s hard core. I think I’ve stopped-up every toilet of every friend and acquaintance I’ve ever had. Then there was one time at that frat party, but I won’t go into that.

As far as my marathon goal – did you just call me a speedster? I think I love you. Seriously. My goal is a very original one. I don’t think any other blogger has ever mentioned it: to BQ. But in reality, I like to have several goals when racing. I’d take any of these end results, but would prefer #3:

  1. Beat 4:03, the time of my first marathon
  2. Break 4 hours
  3. BQ by coming in under 3:50:59. I have been training to run a 3:45 marathon, but we all know just because you train for a certain time doesn't mean you get that time. A girl can hope and dream, can’t she?
  4. Win the race by running a 2:12 marathon. Totally doable.

Jennifer (URL not available) queried, “You may have answered this question before but do you carry TP with you on all your runs? The pooping doesn't concern me as much as the wiping. If you do have TP with you what do you do with it?”

Excellent question. No, I do not carry TP and I’ll tell you why. The roll does not fit in my fuel belt. Really, I don’t carry it because the whole thing is gross and inappropriate and yucky with or without the TP. If I use TP then I have to stay in the shit position longer, find a way to dispose of the TP (I am NOT carrying it home along side of my cell phone), and be aware of how much I am NOT washing my hands after wiping. And if I want to wash my hands after wiping that means I need to bring some antibacterial soap and it just never ends. Kind of like that book, “If You Give a Mouse a Pancake” and how he’s going to want syrup and a plate and a napkin to go with it. Live simply.

LMC stated, “I absolutely love the new background on your blog. Is it the Colorado River?”

I have no clue what it is. I would like to lie and say that yes, in fact, it is the Colorado River and I took this picture while I kayaked down thus river right after running a marathon. But truth be told, I got this off of the new blogger/draft site. If you haven’t visited this site and you’re with Blogger, give it a try. It will improve the aesthetics of your blog and we will all thank you for it.

Steve Q. questioned, “Can glow sticks be used as tampons?”

Fantastic question, Steve. I have never used a glow stick as a tampon, and I’m guessing it’s not advisable. I know things get dark in there, but do we really need to make it glow?

Kim exclaimed, “I did 18 miles this morning and thought of you. I was jogging along, working out the morning farts when all of a sudden - RED ALERT - it was not just a fart. Got it clamped in time but had to find a bathroom fast - luckily the assisted living place nearby was open. Thanks, old people!”

She then asked, “Aren't you glad I think of you when I have to crap in the middle of a run?”

I am wiping tears from my keyboard right now because of how touched I am. When people crap and they do so in my name or at the very least think of me during the act, it is incredibly flattering. BTW, going poop in an assisted living place is genius. You could do it on the seat or even in your pants and it would be par for the course. You could also steal a couple of Depends on your way out.

Apple C. wanted to know, “What are the Hammer / Heed products? Can you offer a link? I have a whole box of GU but I can't stand the stuff.”

So, my crumble friend, have you made my dessert yet?

The Hammer/Heed products are all the rage, especially for those of us plagued by GI issues when we run.  Their claim to fame is that the gel and sport’s drink products are full of ingredients that are easier to digest than most sport’s stuff out there. You can read to your heart’s content HERE, but basically you get a tasty and affordable product with the essential carbs (23 g.) and electrolytes, but it’s gentler on the tummy. Only 2 g. of sugar. The sport’s drink, HEED, is less sweet than most drinks because Hammer uses Xylitol - “a natural substance that can be found in a variety of fibrous fruits and vegetables.” Check it out. I ordered 32 serving powder for about $20. And Ms. Apple, they have an apple spice gel that is yummy. Without crumbles.

Sarah admitted, “I actually had potty issues on my long run today and I thought of that strange??”

No, Sarah, not strange at all. Many people think of me when they have “potty issues.” I’m pretty sure Obama takes dumps with me on his mind.

Meg noted, “Super run and hey, YOU QUOTED Buddha on my blog! You never cease to amaze me with your depth and breadth....from poop to the very spiritual. You didn't make that quote up, did you? Just wonderin'.”

Meg! Do you realize you just gave me credit for creating something said by Buddha! No, I didn’t make up that quote. It came right from the big bellied God himself.  He who thinks I write like Buddha will have the kingdom of heaven at their fingertips.

Any other questions or queries? Any add-ons to my answers? Go for it.


  1. I TOTALLY think a 2:13 marathon is doable, but not a 2:12- no way, that's just too hard.

    and thanks for the bloggy background link. I've been wondering where you and a few other bloggy like minded folks have been getting your cool get ups. I'm on it! thx!

  2. I didn't know about that background link either; although after having just tweaked mine, it will be a while before I do it again. Anyhow--you entertained as always! I'm pulling for your BQ time!

  3. you are So going to BQ... i feel it in my bones!!! :) Love the questions and answers!!

  4. I think you are going to be on everyone's mind during those mornings of run when things start moving... Very clever responses, loved it! And GO GET THAT BQ so we can suffer through Boston together next year!

  5. Haha, loved the question and answer. Very entertaining. I'll have to try this Hammer stuff as all other Gels and Gus enhance digestive issues. I too thought of you when I was scouting out a place to go last weekend.

  6. Needed a good laugh after an upleasant PT session. Good stuff!!

  7. 2:12, totally doable, but you'll be right behind me and my 2:11:59! We'll just go with the Colorado River and call it a day. Very funny post, as usual!

  8. I got some great info from this post! One question though: what DO you do when you are faced with the wiping issue? I can foresee this happening to me on a long run. I don't want to carry TP do you just leave it on there or use the sick-and-a-leaf method?

  9. I loved this post - and thanks for the link to the blogger background site, I need to check that out.

    I have a question - you have two kids, have you ever, EVER, in your life had the mommy muffin top and how in the hell did you go from that to your totally fab abs?

  10. Ever since I stubbled upon your blog...I find myself chanting to myself..."Shut up and run"! I have to, "Thanks!"
    Love all your answers to your have a great personality and it screams through the screen!

  11. Great post! I love that you put my question in. :) Would love to read some more Q&A from you!

  12. Love Q and A time and now I can honestly admit, that when I am running and have to go to the bathroom you are the first person that comes to mind! I want to know when did you start running and why?

  13. As always I am laughing and smiling away! You are so funny!

    I am glad to know you are helping generations of runners know that crapping themselves while running is nothing to be embrassed of...and TP doesn't fit in a fuel belt! ;-)

    Does your hubby play the straight man to your stand up act? Or are you both funny?

  14. I was just like MacDaddy once...couldn't poop other places or even if someone else was in the house. Issues, clearly.

    Now that I am a triathlete...I poop everywhere. But I digress, I carry TP. It isn't like I put the roll around my arm or anything while I run, i just take some with me and put it in my pocket. And I carry wipies for sanitizing.

  15. glow stick question was very unusual!!

    you should be honored that someone pooped and thought of you!

    cute post!

  16. OMG. You have such a wide depth of knowledge girl! It is very good to see that you are helping runners with your vast knowledge of poop and other things!

    A glow stick should NEVER be used as a tampon. Since I majored in tamponology, I know this question.

    Good goals! You are totally going to break 4 hours. That was my goal too, but now I'm not sure I can do it. Hmm.

  17. Out of context, I come off as more of a weirdo than usual with that question!

    That yummy xylitol, it should be noted, is a mild laxative (sorbitol's even worse), so you should plan extra pit stops, just in case.

  18. Great questions, super answers. Thanks for the hammer/heed link.
    I'm not sure this is a good thing, but after reading your blog, I sure feel a lot better about pooping on a run.

  19. Fun post! It must be a beautiful thing knowing that so many people thing of you when having digestive issues.

    Have a great weekend!! Good luck winning that marathon...

  20. You totally equal "digestive issues" up in my head, so I'm glad I'm not alone. :o)

  21. I'm envious of you GI sensitive folks like me who are south of 49. We don't have a lot of products up here to help us. Next time I'm down, I tracking down some Hammer Heed.

  22. I love these posts that are Q/A. I need to look into this heed stuff that is all the rage in my bike store. Although, it sure does have some disastrous results for you......

  23. You never fail to make me laugh. I loved hearing your running "advice."

    I'm trying not to think about the not using TP thing though.