I’ve decided that sometimes you have to conclude you are good enough. You have to stop comparing.
Since my big run with Dean I’ve been following his runs with other partners along this multi day race (yes, he’s cheating on me). Yesterday he ran with AJ Johnson who is a professional triathlete. AJ’s done something like 15 Ironmans. Oh, big deal. I could so do that if I wanted to. Descriptions of AJ involved the words “tough,” “badass,” and “invincible.” Adjectives to describe me were more like “smiling,” “talented” and “earthy.” All perfectly good words to describe me, right?
At first I felt like the training bra to the double D brassiere. The Cornish game hen to the Thanksgiving turkey. The warm up band to U2.
No one made me feel this way but me. Dean was more than encouraging and complimentary about my capabilities, as were the Gore-Tex folks. It’s just my hang up.
I know I’m not an elite athlete. I know I’ll never win races or be the fastest one out there. I know that, and yet sometimes I feel inferior for not be being more. Do you?
What I decided today is – no more. We have to put things into context. For being 43 and only having run for two years, I’m doing pretty damn good. I’m going to take my achievements as mine. They are not to be overshadowed by anyone. Being successful is not about being the fastest or strongest one out there. It’s about your heart and your spirit. What attitude and energy do you greet the day with? Who do you touch along the way? Where did you start and where are you now? Did you give it everything you had?
These are the things that define us. Not our pace. Not our PR. I’m pretty sure when I’m on my death bed I won’t be thinking about if I PR’d at that last half marathon. God, I hope that’s not what I’m thinking.
I ran 20.85 miles with Dean Karnazes. Could he have gone faster and further? Definitely. Did he put one foot in front of the other for all of those miles like I did? Absolutely. Do I believe him when he says he had a great day with me? You bet.
I’m going to own that. Plus, he posted this picture on his Facebook wall, which makes me giddy. And I didn’t see AJ, the badass, on there. I’m just sayin’.
PS: My friend, Clair, at Own Your Backbone is having a $40 CSN Giveaway. Check it out!