This is much harder than I thought it was going to be.
There is no way I’m not doing my Half Ironman in August. I paid the $250 registration fee and my ass will be there sucking down every last sip of Gatorade and hoping I can find a hunky volunteer to rub sunscreen on my…inside thigh? That area gets a lot of sun, you know.
I’m not sure how I'm going to pull off the distance, but I will because I said I would.
I mean it’s no problem for me to swim 1.2 miles or to bike 56 miles or to run 13.1 miles, but I have never attempted to do all three of those things in a row. I mean, why would I? It’s stupid and it takes too long.
With all of the Boston hoopla, I failed to realize that this small triathlon is less than 16 weeks away. That means training needed to start like last week. Darn it. Too bad I have spent the last week drinking wine, eating Easter candy and admiring my Boston medal like a newborn baby (without the sucking on teat issue).
So, today I buckled down and tried to make sense of what a training plan for this thing might look like.
Yes, I wear glasses when I’m not wearing contacts. Call me four eyes and I’ll ram that pencil somewhere.
I begged Ken to help me. He is doing it also. I reached out to Jason and Mama Runs Barefoot for some SOS. I googled “70.3 training plans,” looked over Beginner Triathlete, Tri Newbies and Amateur Endurance. I realized, much to my alarm, that most people train like 15 hours a week for these things. Seriously? That’s like a part time job. I don’t know if hookers even work that much.
Now I have a plan. It is in pencil, but it is a plan. It requires 9-13 hours per week of training including 2 swims, 2 brick workouts (bike then run), yoga, one long run and one rest day. This mighty SUAR plan is infallible. I just know it.
Pretty soon this mess of pencil and crooked lines will be transformed into a picture-perfect chart with equally- spaced rows and columns and lots of pretty colors, unicorns and rainbows.
This plan starts Monday. That means I have exactly four more days to slack off. Except that today I am swimming because I have the coolest new product to try out and review - hint: what happens when you put water and music together?
- You have the pussy posse doing water aerobics
- You have an electrocution
- You have a way to swim to your favorite tunes?
You will have to wait and see.
I know my friend, Dana, said “Don’t go jumping into lots of races” or something like that. Take time to rest. I guess this is technically jumping into another race, but I have convinced myself it’s okay because it’s a “running lite” plan. Kind of like when you’re trying to cut back so you drink “Coors Lite” instead of full blown Coors.
A couple of you asked to see the training plan when it’s done. Okay. I’ll do it as soon as I do it.
Ever done a 70.3 or *gasp* full IM? Any tips?
Off to find some lite beer,