If you hang around on Facebook long enough, you may want to slit your wrists. It seems everyone is at party and you are at home cleaning the toilets. The grass isn’t just greener, every damn blade is perfectly mowed and manicured.
- People have the cutest kids and puppies vs. your kids wake up with bedhead and need haircuts. Your 15 year old dog smells and craps on the carpet.
- People’s kids are all the best athletes and smartest students vs. your kids sit on the bench and struggle in math.
- Everyone is travelling everywhere – pictures of Italy, the Florida beaches and the Colorado mountains fill your Facebook home page vs. you are doing a stay-cation this year that includes putt putt, McDonalds and the Red Box.
- Every person's dinner that they have so nicely photographed looks delectable and expensive vs. you are having frozen pizza tonight, the generic brand.
- People are setting PRs and placing in their age groups left and right. All of their runs felt good (i.e., “Becca ran 38 miles and felt good!) vs. you are running four miles each morning, slower than you did last summer. You fart, sweat, spit and occasionally shart.
- Everyone’s relationship is loving, gooey and romantic vs. you consider the Dutch Oven as your form of foreplay. Don’t even get started on the toilet seat being left up and the dog getting into the tampons that were left in the trash.
- People love all members of their family at all moments and just “feel so blessed!!” vs. you hate your siblings and your parents make you feel like you are three years old. Blood is not thicker than water.
It’s not that I think it’s bad that people are happy, healthy and perfect. And, I have certainly been guilty of posting lots of rainbow and unicorn statuses (statusii?) But, let’s be honest. I feel better about my imperfect life when I know everyone else is not so damn perfect. Guess that’s my own hang up.
So, in the spirit of keeping it real, here are some not so perfect moments from my week.
- Monday night my daughter woke me up because she was scared. I freaked out and had a fit because I was tired when I should have been compassionate. I then got back in bed and threw another tantrum that included F-bombs because I was tired. I know Ken rolled his eyes. I could feel it in the dark. Thank God the people who love us cut us some slack.
- While watching the Bachelorette, I ate a bag of popcorn and drank two glasses of wine. I then got into bed and finished off the Hot Tamales I keep in my beside nightstand.
- Yesterday while cycling with the ladies, I got smoked going up a hill. I was pushing my hardest and couldn't keep up. I think it’s good to run and cycle with people who are stronger than you, but I also hate feeling behind.
- I saw someone I knew at the grocery store and ran into the next aisle because I didn’t feel like making small talk.
- I went to the new fro-yo place in town and had so many free samples, I didn’t buy anything.
- I went to my hot yoga studio and took a few day’s supply of tampons. I know you are supposed to take in case of emergency, but I stocked up.
- I parked in the five minute spot at the library even though I knew I’d be in there for at least six or 30 minutes.
- In Target, I farted in the bread aisle. Out loud.
There you have it - all of my imperfectness. Perfection is over-rated anyway (as I talked about in this post).
Am I the only one who feels this way about Facebook?
What’s your confession from the week?