Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Confessions from My Imperfect World

If you hang around on Facebook long enough, you may want to slit your wrists. It seems everyone is at party and you are at home cleaning the toilets. The grass isn’t just greener, every damn blade is perfectly mowed and manicured.

For example:

  • People have the cutest kids and puppies vs. your kids wake up with  bedhead and need haircuts. Your 15 year old dog smells and craps on the carpet.
  • People’s kids are all the best athletes and smartest students vs. your kids sit on the bench and struggle in math.
  • Everyone is travelling everywhere – pictures of Italy, the Florida beaches and the Colorado mountains fill your Facebook home page vs. you are doing a stay-cation this year that includes putt putt, McDonalds and the Red Box.
  • Every person's dinner that they have so nicely photographed looks delectable and expensive vs. you are having frozen pizza tonight, the generic brand.
  • People are setting PRs and placing in their age groups left and right.  All of their runs felt good (i.e., “Becca ran 38 miles and felt good!) vs. you are running four miles each morning, slower than you did last summer. You fart, sweat, spit and occasionally shart.
  • Everyone’s relationship is loving, gooey and romantic vs. you consider the  Dutch Oven as your form of foreplay. Don’t even get started on the toilet seat being left up and the dog getting into the tampons that were left in the trash.
  • People love all members of their family at all moments and just “feel so blessed!!” vs. you hate your siblings and your parents make you feel like you are three years old. Blood is not thicker than water.

{source}

It’s not that I think it’s bad that people are happy, healthy and perfect. And, I have certainly been guilty of posting lots of rainbow and unicorn statuses (statusii?) But, let’s be honest. I feel better about my imperfect life when I know everyone else is not so damn perfect. Guess that’s my own hang up.

So, in the spirit of keeping it real, here are some not so perfect moments from my week.

  • Monday night my daughter woke me up because she was scared. I freaked out and had a fit because I was tired when I should have been compassionate. I then got back in bed and threw another tantrum that included F-bombs because I was tired. I know Ken rolled his eyes. I could feel it in the dark. Thank God the people who love us cut us some slack.
  • While watching the Bachelorette, I ate a bag of popcorn and drank two glasses of wine. I then got into bed and finished off the Hot Tamales I keep in my beside nightstand.
  • Yesterday while cycling with the ladies, I got smoked going up a hill. I was pushing my hardest and couldn't keep up. I think it’s good to run and cycle with people who are stronger than you, but I also hate feeling behind.
  • I saw someone I knew at the grocery store and ran into the next aisle because I didn’t feel like making small talk.
  • I went to the new fro-yo place in town and had so many free samples, I didn’t buy anything.
  • I went to my hot yoga studio and took a few day’s supply of tampons. I know you are supposed to take in case of emergency, but I stocked up.
  • I parked in the five minute spot at the library even though I knew I’d be in there for at least six or 30 minutes.
  • In Target, I farted in the bread aisle. Out loud.

There you have it - all of my imperfectness. Perfection is over-rated anyway (as I talked about in this post).

Am I the only one who feels this way about Facebook?

What’s your confession from the week?

SUAR

137 comments:

  1. I agree. Perfections is over rated. That is why sometimes I let those crappy moments out on FB. I let people know about my injuries or my declines from universities for their Masters programs because my GRE scores were not competitive enough to beat the young folks. I know there are some people on my page, some of those who live in my neighborhood that are very clique attached, that love the gossip and I can assure you gossip about my falls and laugh. However, I decided who cares!! I want people to see the "me" I am and sometimes I fall. It happens to us all. No life is perfect.

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  2. I am totally on the same page today. Must be something in the Hot Tamales and Fro-Yo samples.

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  3. I posted the pictures from my most recent foot surgery on Facebook.....well because I can, that and misery loves company and since I can't run for a week EVERYONE should be miserable with me.
    The reason I keep coming back over and over again to read your blog is because it's so REAL!!! thanks for being you

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    1. Yes misery does love company, that's why I talk about being injured...I think people can really relate to that more than some other stuff. Although, sharing successes is okay too, within moderation!

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  4. Wasn't there a study recently that showed that social networking (like Facebook) actually makes people depressed, for exactly the reason that you stated above? Also there's the "Fear of Missing Out" (FOMO), where people either feel left out of social situations or that they're not living life to the fullest.

    My confession: I watched Magic Mike last night with some girlfriends and I snuck in a flask of whiskey. It was a lot of fun.

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    1. Yes, FOMO is a huge disease these days.

      I want to go to a movie with you.

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    2. Let's do it! Maybe if we ever run in the same race... ;)

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  5. Ha! I love samples! Thanks for keeping it real.

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  6. I totally saw you in Target and now I'm mad you didn't come say hello. I was going to tell you about this great magazine article I just read.

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    1. Hahaha!! Too bad that didn't happen at Target. King Soopers baby!

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  8. I'm cracking up at this hilarious dose of truth. You know what gets me? When someone posts "I love my husband (or whomever) soooo much. I am the luckiest... blah blah." Then the husband responds "I love you too babe" or whatever. And you just KNOW they are sitting in the same g-d room. Can't they just say those things to each other?!?

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    1. o.m.g. ditto! I have to be anonymous b/c my own sister in law and brother do this. Drives.me.batty!! And even worse is when others play into it and comment, "you guys are so cute!!" Really??

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    2. I tend to think the more people do stuff like that, the more likely that there is something not.quite.right going on in that situation!

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    3. That is possibly the most lame and fake post ever! I see it all the time from someone I know. What's worse is that I know when he comes home late and drunk (all the time) she's pissed at him. I never see that post!

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  9. Thank you, thank you for posting this. I'm having a pity party myself. I have been so sad about trying to come back from my stress fracture that I suffered in March, my plantar fasciitis as well. Finally making headway, and last week got diagnosed with Lyme disease. So now I have an explanation for my fatigue and low back pain, but sheesh! Enough is enough. I know I'll get better, last year was amazing, running-wise, but this year has completely sucked. And to top it off, I turn 50 in September. I feel very bit of it right now. So reading about everyone's fantastic summer and PRs and whatnot....well, I have contemplated closing my FB for a while.

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  10. I am still laughing...this is so real, I think you wrote specifically about my life! Thank you for keeping it real!!

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  11. I TOTALLY FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT FACEBOOK. And have been debating doing a similar post like this. Seriously, every time I see a photo of someone's AMAZING AND PERFECT toddler, I want to throw up. Every time I see someone's vacation photos, I want to throw something. Heck, even just seeing pictures mid-week from someone at the beach, while I am stuck at work, underpaid with a ridiculous commute, I get stabby. Thanks for telling it like it is.

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  12. Honestly, I would rather hear about delectable dishes and vacations to the hot springs in Iceland and running up Longs Peak in under an hour than the whiney baby passive agressive posts that end in, "YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

    Confession: I was riding into work yesterday, the first time I went all the way from the house, and about 3/4 of the way there, I called in sick to work and kept riding. Stupid work friends on facebook, so I can't post it!

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    1. Leauxra - you know who you are!!!!!!!!!!

      Yes, passive aggressive is the worst.

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  13. If all this were on facebook, we'd all never get anything done because we'd be laughing at each other all day.

    Which, on further thought, might not be a bad thing...

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  14. It makes me feel better reading these comments and feeling normal that fb totally depresses me. Every. stinkin. time. When I say that to people they look at me like I must have emotional issues if fb bothers me.

    But I have FOMO so I stay there. Ugh.

    But really, YOLO (You only live once) should totally override the FOMO syndrome don't you think?

    Unplug and live baby!

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  15. I LOVE this post so much I'm sharing it with everyone on my Facebook (Facebook "Thinfluenced") and Twitter (@thinfluenced- I follow you!) It's SO true! I'm so imperfect it's not even funny. And I like to write about it on my blog and online, because it makes people feel normal. Here's a prime example: We rode 30 miles in a huge shit, I mean, rainstorm on Monday and I was dog tired, sore, and I may have even cried like a three year old at the end as darkness hit. When I warmed up, changed clothes, and reassembled myself, I wrote a little diddy on FB about our adventure. Some douchebag (and yes, that's a technical term) had the gall to tell me he rode 8 miles in "the same storm" it and didn't think it was "that bad". Oh, and he felt FANTASTIC after! So, let me get this straight: You rode only 8 miles, as compared to my THIRTY. And you rode on the OTHER SIDE of the county that BARELY got rain. And then you threw the fact that you felt FANTASTIC in my face on top of it on Facebook? Really? Your mother should be ashamed she wasn't on birth control at the time you were conceived... Really! (I'm sunshine and rainbows. Clearly!)

    Have a great day, Beth!

    Sarah
    www.thinfluenced.com

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  16. i am so with you. so with you that i haven't been on facebook in 10 months and am oh so happy about that fact. it's exhausting sometimes trying to keep up with people and their 'perfect' lives.

    my week includes vacation being cut short thanks to a death in the family, spilling coffee all over myself and my car this morning (right after getting to work) and having a complete and utter fail at "speedwork" last night in front of a lot of people. also i am stuck in a job at which i haven't gotten a raise in five years because of "salary freezes" for everyone. B.S.!so that's a good time. HELLO REAL LIFE! lastly. just finished with a bout of tendonitis.

    i vote you do these weekly, sharing my 'real life' is therapeutic :) THANK YOU!

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  17. Amen ... I won't even go into my 'Land of misfit toys Frat House Family' ... thanks I needed that

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  18. This was hilarious! You farting in Target.. in the bread isle? No way! lol.. My life is far from being perfect that my list could go on and on.. But i wouldn't trade my imperfect life for anything.. Lately I feel as if my life should be a movie on Lifetime.. haha!

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  19. This is my favorite post you have ever done. Facebook doesn't make me feel that way (not usually anyway--maybe my FB friends are just too nerdy and therefore like me), but reading other people's blogs make me feel that way on a regular basis. The races! The PRs! The newly discovered talent! The injury-free, sleek and beautiful bodies! The fantastic meals! The packs of girlfriends! The paragons of mommy-hood! The photos of beaches and mountain peaks!

    There's a line in a Mumford & Sons song that I like because it's so me: "Your strength makes me feel less strong." I feel bad that I am like this, but I am.

    The thing I try to remember (and that my rational husband reminds me of) is that Facebook and blogs are like Christmas letters. We're seeing what these folks want us to see. They don't realize that being human is much more appealing to those of us who have been around the block a time or two....because we ARE all human. Many of us have cellulite, no matter how much we squeeze that butt. Our kids all have runny noses, tantrums and bad breath in the morning. We all have money issues sometimes. Not every race will be a PR or every run a transcendent out-of-body experience. Not for you, for me...or for anyone else (no matter how gorgeous their blogs and Facebook personas are).

    We're all works in progress. Really, it's more fun that way anyway.

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    1. LOVE this feedback and the Christmas letter analogy. Just sent you an email.

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  20. This post is damn awesome! I farted covertly in the file room and took a sigh of relief, until my boss walked in and then promptly out. son-of-a!

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    1. HAHA!!!!!! Farting in the file room is priceless! Hope you don't get fired.

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  21. You actually read that shit on Facebook? I just go there to throw around my unicorns and rainbows and get the fuck out......HA HA!

    This one cracked me up:
    I saw someone I knew at the grocery store and ran into the next aisle because I didn’t feel like making small talk.

    I am the best and dodging people I don't want to talk to. Sometimes I'll even text them as I leave the place to say: Hey, it's been a while since I saw you. How are you doing?

    You get credit for reaching out that way and didn't have to have small talk with them. When they text back I just ignore it and move on.......haha!

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    1. I want to be Jason's facebook friend! I love people who don't take everything so seriously.

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  22. You are all kinds of AWESOME!! Thank you for this post - I *needed* it more than you could ever know!! :) My life is SO not perfect but this week especially borders on *ridiculously* so :-P...I feel like I must be on Candid Camera right now! You have given me a much-needed chuckle - this IS real life!!! :) :)

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  23. I am pretty bad about leaving little bombs in the aisles, but mostly Walmart. They are usually silent but deadly, but I have not been so quiet before and quickly left the affected area. ;)

    I have enough drama queen (female and male) FB friends to balance out the happy happy joy joy everything is peachy friends. lol

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    1. Walmart is fine for farting b/c the place smells like one big sh&t pile anyway. Or at least ours does.

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    2. Truth!!! When I am having a bad day I go to Walmart and feel so much better about myself. :)

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  24. hahahaha! so true! part of the many reasons i dont have a FB account!!!
    my week has been very imperfect so far. monday started with my 22 month old locking herself in the bathroom,turning on all the faucets and making a huge mess while i was frantically searching for the key all while holding a screaming newborn and trying to keep he older 2 kiddos from killing eachother.....i couldnt find the key and had to resort to humbly calling my husband at work..thankfully he knew where the key was..some totally RANDOM place of course,so i didnt have to take the door off myself to get that toddler out of the bathroom,away from the sinks and potty!!!!

    again,thanks for sharing your thoughts here,you are awesome!!!!

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    1. My day just got better. Thanks for the perspective! LOL.

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  25. Yep. I hate how everyone's day is so peachy great on fb! Thanks for being honest!

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  26. I went to Wal-Mart last night and they had samples of the giant cookie cakes with frosting. I know what it tastes like, but still got a sample and circled back for a second slice.

    No regrets.

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  27. I too suffer from the feeling left out syndrome when I read Facebook. My friends post pictures from the bar, where they are all having ladies night, and I'm at home in my pajamas watching So You Think You Can Dance and feeling like a big loser. Then I give myself a reality check. It *looks* fun, but I can't stay up past 9:30 and get up for a run the next day, and I can only handle one glass of wine, and I hate being around people who are smoking. And I know if I were there I would wish I were at home!!
    And thanks from me, too, for keeping it real.

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  28. I'm right there with you about FB. But I usually post about my shitty life situations too. (See the status posts from yesterday.)

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  29. My gay son's boyfriend is kicking my ass - again - in words with friends
    My patience is running thin with an old friend who is just the BEST friend of everyone on f/b and sending prayers for another who's having surgery, ugh - she's making ME sick.
    I made my 16 year old ride his bike two miles this morning (yeah, so what - it's hot) to get a haircut
    We're outta milk and the last place I want to go is the market.
    Now, I will eat a handful of almond joy m&m's with added roasted almonds. That'll make me feel better.

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  30. I freaking love this post. Last night on Facebook I posted some awesome pictures of my 15 month old son in his bike seat and how he was so content to ride with me and we had a blast.

    2 hours later I posted that I had been peed on, pooped on and vomited on, all after the first bath. After the second bath, the sippy cup of milk leaked all over me.

    At least I try to keep it real.

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  31. Thank you! That just made my week...I just love your blog!

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  32. HEY! I get my bread at that same Target, ewwwwww ;)

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  33. Could it be that kind of week? It got so bad with me that I am on facebook strike. To see the the beautiful girl's pictures of her surrounded by her hot best friends who are men (and how all the replies were from the men, saying how beautiful she is, with her demure "thank you" in another language in reply - ick.), to read another political "quote"... beh! To wince at my niece's self-incriminating post to friends about toking on a "fattie"; the perfect runs and rides (when I haven't been out in a couple of days), the books read, music spotified, I just feel so... unhip.

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  34. Yah, I don't know why I friended people from high school on FB. They were bad enough in high school and now to "see" all their riches and adventures and successes really doesn't help. (In high school, the majority of them wore designer clothes, got Corvettes for Christmas, BMWs for their 16th birthdays....now they all are doctors, lawyers, PhDs...).

    I saw a saying somewhere online that said something about how we compare our lives with others, when in reality what we see is our own "behind the scenes/bloopers" life compared with everyone else's "highlight" reels.

    You're awesome Beth. If you ever want to come to the Pacific NW, you can bunk with me in my imperfect house, with my imperfect family. And we'll have a perfectly good time. :)

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    1. oooh. I'm anonymous on FB. I'm completely locked down, no networks, no maiden name. It's brilliant. I hated high school (people were mean!) and have no interest in those reformed people now. I don't believe they really are. And yes, I'm a glass is half full person. Nevertheless, one can't be too careful.

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  35. My big dog sneezed on my face yesterday... while my mouth was open. I was candy-free for over 2 months, then somehow bought and downed an entire 2 lb bag of salt water taffy in less than 48 hours, even though it didn't taste as good as I remembered. My training plan calls for 6 miles today, but let's be honest: there's a 50/50 chance they won't happen, and a good chance that if they do, I'll walk at least a third (I'm in that kind of mood today). I want to smack my husband, since it seems any time I get all the dishes done/counter cleared, he's there within minutes making a mess. Can't I have ONE GD DAY WITH A CLEAN COUNTER AND EMPTY SINK?

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    1. I think we are married to the same man!

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  36. Ha. This is how people get convinced to have children. They see those commercials with the two seconds of a baby gazing adoringly at her mother ... That's just like facebook - people putting the best 10 seconds of their week up. That being said, I think it's WAY better than seeing Debbie Downer-type postings ...

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  37. HAHAHA love this!! :)
    Thank you!

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  38. AMEN on the "People love all members of their family"!!! I swear every FB friend I have has the BEST parents in the world, the best sister, and the best great uncle. I have the most dysfunctional family ever in real life so I choose to just smother them with how cute my dog is. :-) hee hee!!!

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  39. I have a saying in my classroom: Practice makes better, nobody's perfect. I find myself skimming over Facebook posts that are either too many rainbows or just another stab at the ex. I love the ones that are real, laugh at themselves, celebrate their success with humility, and just have fun! I love your confessions, especially the grocery aisle. As a teacher, I've done that more than once, especially if I've just come in from a sweaty run!

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  40. I "sharted" during a training session yesterday. Not bad...kept it under wraps. BUT after I forgot and went to the grocery store smelling worse than my usual swampy self. Sweet :)

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  41. This is the most awesome post I have ever read! I admittedly am that obnoxious mom of a toddler who posts way too many pictures, and I do feel badly. But, in my defense, I do it for my in-laws and parents. They hate being so far from their grandbaby. Thank you for making me laugh uncontrollably!

    My admission: My biggest fear of running my first marathon in October with fellow TNT members is that I will probably fart uncontrollably in front of them during the race! I'm praying the crowd noise will be louder than me!

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  42. I LOVE this post! Thanks for a great laugh and for making me feel a little less crazy!

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  43. I call Facebook - "Bragbook" because all people ever do is brag about their runs, kids, life.....let's see the real stuff people. I realized a few months ago- FB was making me discontent, because everyone was else out having fun- living life to the fullest- while I was home cleaning, folding laundry, etc....then I realized it is all an ACT. :)
    Kelly

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  44. Agreed...I much prefer to surf the website Sh&% My Kids Ruined than read FB posts. Makes me feel so much better about my life and children ;)

    My confessions this week: I've had terrible runs (mentally and physically) this week and am contemplating becoming a marathon drop-out. I ate half a batch of peanut butter oatmeal no-bake cookies yesterday, which resulted in a nasty stomach ache and flatulence last night. I went to see Magic Mike with two friends and instead of enjoying the experience, I spent the entire time trying (unsuccessfully) to hold in wave after wave of gas. Good times.

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  45. I read something once that said it's true the grass is greener on the other side because when you look across at your neighbors' yard you are looking at the sides of the grass in profile, whereas when you stand on your own lawn you look straight down and obviously see the dirt and pee spots. So really, it's all about perspective and I bet if you went over and stood on the other side you might see that their grass isn't that perfect either. Everyone has imperfections it's just some people try to pretend they don't (i.e. Facebook) and maybe that [pretending] right there is just one of their imperfections.

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  46. Oh my gosh! Thank you for the chuckle... I needed it!

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  47. I'm ten days into potty training my three year old son. During these last ten days, I've managed to do five-hundred thousand loads of laundry and consume his entire one pound bag of reward M&Ms. Yay!

    I started the day by going to the dentist to get a couple of cavities filled (hmmm wondering if candy habit related) and now my face hurts.

    ... and I have my period... and the bathroom sink is clogged...

    It's all freaking magic, sparkles and unicorns here.

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    1. I am seriously laughing so hard right now. The problem? I started the comments from the bottom. I'm so screwed. I still have 60 comments to go!

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  48. this post made me so happy in the perverse smug 'those other people suck' kind of way (which is ultimately the most satisfying) because I couldn't agree more about facebook.

    what gets me most is when people post about the weather - how sunny and nice it is and how they're out enjoying the day. (false! they are updating facebook.) at least i'm calling it like it is - i'm on the couch watching a marathon of Gulianna and Bill and I DO care about the sex of their kid, who is in a gestational carrier, way more than I do about appreciating sunshine.

    thank you, that felt good to say

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  49. Awesome post! And I love that card thingie about FB, lol! A couple weeks ago, I purged about half of my friend list for some of those very reasons. So now anytime someone updates it doesn't phase me and I am genuinely interested or else they would have been purged too, lol.

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  50. I agree with the person who wishes they didn't friend high school classmates!! Also I am a new and slow runner who did a trail run with my husbands cousin (she intimidates me because she is an Ironman) and I tripped on a root and fell down a small incline. If that wasn't embarrasing enough....I farted the WHOLE way down! When I told my husband he asked if I was going to put that on FB. No way! My post read....."amazing trails at Letchworth State Park, great run today,"

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  52. This is a great post. It gets rather annoying reading peoples posts. People can't go anywhere without posting that they are doing so!

    My confession of this week: I posted I was gonna do my 3 mile trail run, to hold myself accountable of course! Not only did I not do my run or post otherwise, I went to the grocery store and bought ice cream and ate about half the carton. haha.

    I'm new to your blog, and this post just made my day!

    melavond.blogspot.com

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  53. FB should be for families and friends who don't see each other on a regular basis. It's turned in to a medium for people who need lots of attention. Lots of attention.

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  54. My running friend, who's 60 (16 years older than me) kicked my ass on a recent "easy run" (average pace 5:15min/km) and stayed about 100 meters in front of me the whole time...I could not close the gap, and then on our way back home from the run, i crapped ("sharted" I think) my running skirt. Not a great start to the day. Nothing to brag about on FB, that's for sure.

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  55. I farted my way around the track for 3.1 miles today while the man setting up for class on the tennis courts shot me looks for 30 minutes. I thought of you. I smiled instead of being embarrassed.

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  56. What a great post!! Too many things seem to be contests of exaggeration these days. But just loved your reader's statements above.

    And P.S.: I have a box of no longer needed tampons (tiny bonus of being 50+) you can have, save you from swiping them for a bit. :)

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  57. My confession is that i idolize you. That & I constantly fart during my bootcamp class, but the music is blasting and no one can hear it(or at least they don't say anything)!

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  58. This is perfect. I have a friend that puts out the perfect image on Facebook and her blog - when I know her life is in turmoil. It makes me sad to think about it sometimes.

    I farted while having my bf time a plank for me the other day. I was impressed with myself.

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  59. haha...I laughed at your list of perfections! I was listing my fb friends off in my head as I read it.

    And I totally avoid people I know at the store so I don't have to talk to them.

    Thanks for being real :)

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  60. I totally agree that everyone on Facebook sugarcoats their lives; after all, all 2,000 people listed as their "friends" are their BFF's right? My total fail this week was crop dusting the hell out of one of my patients. It was like a dust cloud of fart gas lingered in the spot for the next 5 minutes. Thank goodness they didn't call me out on it!

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  61. The other night I played cards with my husband and farted 8 times! You are hilarious! No one is perfect and perfect is boring. I love not being perfect!

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  62. Thanks for the laughs - your freakin' hilarious!!

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  63. Great post! Fabulous comments! I love all the honesty!

    My confession of the day: Cooking on the BBQ had a piece of chicken fly off the grill, over the deck railing and into the yard.... ooops. Picked it up, washed it off, and back on the grill it went!

    I little dirt never hurt anyone and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

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  64. Awesome! I do feel like a loser when i see a lot of my Marathon bar teammates place in their first triathlon and run a 7 minute mile on a "slow" run! Then there are my friends with the money to travel to places my job with the city of Denver doesn't allow me. Today, I think I farted too loud in the bathroom at work and was hoping the radio blocked it from the guys I work with hearing it. Nobody ever wants me to post pictures of my lame ass dinner on FB, so I am drinking wine and hoping my 20 year old figures out what he will do with his life so he moves out before he's 40! Life is still good despite it's imperfections.

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  65. Facebook is the virtual version of the holiday letter--you know the ones I'm talking about! I just read an article in the Atlantic about how FB makes us all lonelier for the exact reason you talked about--when we read it, we all feel like we're less this, that and the other.

    Anyhow, my imperfection list could fill a book and that's on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing yours

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  66. I really needed this today, thanks for being real.

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  67. This post cracked me up, as did the comments! Hot tomales on the bedside table is me! So much of that post I can relate to! Hagen Das ice cream containers on sale at the supermarket....my daughter and I have gone through 4 containers this week (mostly me because she can't eat as much). Thanks for the chuckle!

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  68. I agree, sometimes FB posts can be irritating, depressing, pointless. Especially from the ones that are mad at the world and blame their poor decision making skills on everyone else. Just like everyone else, I have bad days, bad runs, dog puking on the carpet, husband doing annoying things. In my job as a hospice case manager, I see people dying on a daily basis & it gives me a different perspective on my own life. I try to post only those things that are positive and remind myself & others that there are wonderful things in this life because not everyone has those little moments. In the grand scheme of life, it really doesn't matter that my laundry is piled up or that I ended up with a flat tire today. What matters is that I get to spend another day with those that I love, and hopefully get in a good run. Everyone is not as fortunate. Just keeping it "big picture stuff."

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  69. A huge THANK YOU for this post!! You are so right about FB... I thought it was just me who felt that way! It's either perfect-ville or people who are mad at the world.

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  70. OMG. This post is amazing. I was literally just reading through my Facebook news feed and got a little annoyed by all the greatness going on! Love that you're laying it all out here. Sometimes it's nice to know that everyone else's life isn't so perfect either.

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  71. LOVE. and couldn't agree more. I'm a new (again) mom and it seems like everyone on my facebook page had babies at the same time. All of their babies sleep, nurse, smile and coo every second of the day. My baby - not so much :) I had to ground myself from check because my post-baby hormones couldn't handle it anymore.

    Real is so much better! (although I'm guilty of posting about lots of good too!)

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  72. I can't stop laughing.

    You'd think I'd learn but I'm constantly shocked when I learn couples who profess their love for one another on what seems to be a daily basis suddenly break up. I'm like what? How can this possibly be?

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  73. You're funny! I guess I just assume everyone's only posting the highlights...and the good ones at that. You never get the full story. Nor do I post the full story. I would much rather post the one good thing that happened all week than the 10 crappy things.

    My confession from the week so far is that I have virtually left my kids to fend for themselves all week while I have rushed around getting ready for a get-together at our house and a potluck we had to go to. Tomorrow, though, we do something fun. Well, I hope....I'll FB it if it's fun. I won't if it's not. :)

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  74. Seriously best post I've read in a long time!

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  75. Awesome post! I love how you keep it and yourself real.

    I totally know it's this way on Facebook. I just simply accept that it's human nature for everyone to "show off" and be happy - including myself.

    My confession this week? Normally hubby cooks dinner but yesterday he had a migraine and went to bed right after he got home. I fed my daughter peanut butter toast with sliced bananas, blueberries and a babybel cheese. Even she called them snacks. I called it dinner. I am a terrible mama when it comes to meals.

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  76. The bread aisle at Target?? I wake up super early each blessed day and bake my own bread for my family. That reminds me, I need to post that.

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  77. I know a couple that share a facebook page. It looks like this:

    xyxy says "Oh I love my poo bear so much"

    xyxy says "Oh I love you too sweet cheeks!"

    xyxy says "Thank you sweetness, you are the best!"

    I feel schizophrenic just reading their posts. They are now hidden from my view.

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  78. I got a migraine Tuesday and when my daughter asked for help washing her hair for about the 5th time (she's 6, she knows how to rinse, for godssake), I freaked out on her and made her cry. Not good. Still feel bad about it, but it was seriously the worst migraine I've ever had and I just snapped. Gah, we're all human.

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  79. Yes! I loooove this post. Thank you! I have been thinking this recently. Right now, I am thinking I expose myself too much to the "perfect" world of everyone else. Oh how it brings me down. Comparing yourself to others is really damaging! I can relate with you on "real-life" daily happenings. I wish more people talked about them! I have had huge headaches and have been crying over silly things all week! Stupid PMS is getting in my way. Again, thank you for sharing. I feel the same way.

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  80. No of course your not the only one that feels that way about FB but I am kinda surprised your bothered by it. The reason I really enjoy your blog is that you throw in the right amount of realism (lets say not so perfect) coupled with bragging (lets say successes). Funny, I honestly don't think facebook has ever bothered me in that way. Some blogs maybe yes, but I don't really read them anymore=borning.
    Its all just with a grain of salt. Ok well excpet maybe when I am PMSing and just a wee bit sensitive and on the crazy train. Nice work on the tampons, btw.

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    Replies
    1. I think you hit on exactly why it bugs me. If you have a balance of realism and successes, GREAT. That makes you authentic. If it is just about "look how great I am, how great my life is" without adding in the tough spots, then it gets annoying. We all have tough spots. It's not "real" to leave them out.

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  81. I de-activated my account for all of those reasons. People lie so much about having perfect lives when I know better. I have found more useful things to do with my time. You crack me up! Love this post.

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  82. I love reading your blog. You always make me laugh. Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh!

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  83. OMG, this had me cracking up, but it is so true!!

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  84. Love. This. Post. I know people who post every 2 minutes on Facebook, and 99% of it is about how perfect life is--gag! (Really? you listened to that song just now? Your kids won awards at school? Wow, how cool are you!) I'd much rather know the truth, that some days you wonder why you had kids, your job stinks, and so does your house. Um, that would be more like reality; I love my family, my job, and my life, but it's imperfect and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  85. Thank you! I just posted a blog entry (and then put it on Facebook) about a quilt I just finished. Then, I got to thinking about how that was putting only the positive out there. So, I followed it up on FB with this status: "To keep it honest...yesterday, while finishing my quilt, I was not a very good mom. I pretty much ignored my kids (who spent the entire day playing Wii), and this point was driven home when, at 5:00 PM, they asked me if I would please make them some lunch."

    Life is all about compromise, and sometimes in our internet personas, we don't show how we compromise really important things so that we can accomplish other, important things (or, in my case here, not-so-important-but-really-fun things).

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  86. Last Sunday I was happily working out at the gym - iPod blasting - and farting away at every exertion, when I suddenly realized that the (normally) loud gym music had been turned off and the only other guy working out was NOT wearing earbuds.

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  87. Great post! I used to read every status and every comment on facebook. Now I just skim. I'm trying to live life for real now, not lead a cyber life. I use the group thingy and have 1 for all the most annoying "friends." I just don't look at that group. A while back I made a list of the most annoying stuff on facebook. Topping the list: political BS, lovebirds (overly lovey-dovey posts - blah), spammers/people who post too much and fill up my feed with their crap so I don't see posts from people I might actually care about, and people who are my "friend" on facebook but act like they don't know me at a swim meet (and THEY sent ME the dang friend request).... I will add family to the list now - I hate when they use my facebook status stuff against me, like when I can't post that I had a great time at the movies with friends because I declined a housewarming party invite because I was "sick." :P

    So I guess I don't mind the "perfect" posts as much. But I most enjoy posts about real life - warts & all - and from people who don't take it all so seriously. That's why I love your blog.

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  88. What sucks for me is that most of those annoying people who post about how they have the MOST AMAZING baby are actually related to me! I can't unfriend THEM! Also I rarely ever post anything about my kids who really are amazing but are usually a pain in the a$$!

    What I hate even more though is the people who act like everything is perfect IN REAL LIFE! I try to talk to my sisters/friends about how motherhood kind of sucks sometimes and how my husband and I NEVER get it on anymore because we are too busy/tired and since we're not getting any we are constantly one straw away from breaking the camels back into our next biggest fight (with no make-up sex)! Apparently everyone else was right back to all day sex-a-thons at the 6 week post partum check-up and are so blissed out they have no fear of going on an actual vacation with kids in tow. Oh, did I mention my youngest is TWO?!!

    Otherwise...my life is *perfect*. :) Better get back to work before my boss catches me. heheh!

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    Replies
    1. Ditto and Amen. That's what running group therapy is for. What is said in running group stays there! Everyone has a less than perfect husband, their children can be great as well as pure evil, and often it turns into a big bitch session about family, work, and being so freaking tired that we can't stand it, but yet we are up at 4:30 am to run. However, in the end, we all go home with more patience, a sense of relief that we aren't alone, and a smile on our face in hopes that today will be a better day. Maybe.... :-)! Smile - you aren't alone, even if today isn't a better day.

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    2. Haha! Thanks! I do know how lucky I am and things will get better! They go to college eventually, right?! Just kidding! Maybe I'll save the 50 Shades of Gray series for then....

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  89. Yes, I often feel this way about FB. Facebook is a narcissist's dream. The funny image you posted is spot-on. So many of those who wax poetically on FB about their perfect lives are the same folks who work hard to build a perfect facade in real life. But, you have to think that behind closed doors, it's just not that way. And don't feel bad about your list of "imperfect" moments. Heck, you got on a bike and pedaled up a hill. I can't remember the last time I did that! :)

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  90. By far one of the FUNNIEST posts yet! It 's safe to say we had an identical week minus the tampoon issue. Yeah for menapause :-0. And putting the bathroom waist cans on a shelf.....love you and all your serously great imperfections!

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  91. Yep, had a daughter moment yesterday, too. My husband left for a biking trip with friends, which he leaves again next week to gamble in the Black Hills and I'm wondering WTF is my vacation???? Beside the point, but probably didn't help. I nagged my 6 year old all morning to get out the bike to practice without training wheels. She and her sister are running their first kids tri on Saturday and she is insisting that she runs w/o the trainers, but wouldn't practice. Finally at 1 pm when it is beyond roasting hot, she decides it is time to practice. I was less than nice about keeping her arms, butt, and body straight to make the bike work in her favor as I ran alongside her back and forth over and over. It was a long stretch from my best parenting.... borderline embarrassing. I was pretty nasty, even though she was getting it. Anyway, they had the tri practice class today, and amazingly, she did it herself! So sometimes tough love and having a lack of patience can pay off! At least that's what I'm telling myself to feel better about my horrible parenting yesterday. I did praise and cheer for her success today! She took my lemons and made lemonade. Yep, we are all real. Those that sugar coat to make it look good are probably the worst off of anyone..... They just use that front to try to make us think otherwise, but we know better!

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  92. Great post! I have been disenchanted with Facebook for some time for the same reasons and have been wanting to write my own post about it. You saved me the work - though I think I may still write a post to throw my own list of "keeping it reals" out there. I would love to send my readers your way to get the good stuff if you don't mind. I think we have exactly two overlapping readers, which is pretty easy to guage since I only have twenty-two total. Ha ha. And, I love your farting/sharting stories.

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  93. I am a Facebook whore. I tell everyone every imperfection and detail about my life short of bowel movements. I don't know why, I think because in my world I'm very witty and awesome and everyone must have their daily dose. I do NOT talk about my perfect kids or confess my true love to my husband; quite the opposite.

    My major confession is, after a bad day at work Monday; I went home grabbed left over cream puffs and eclairs from a Norwex party. Grabbed the remainder of a 2 liter of diet coke, went to my room and chugged the diet coke and ate the pastries. I called it my "free" day.

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  94. And our poor children who live and breathe the Facebook kool-aid, the expectations they put on each other with their oodles of friends and gazillions of pictures of themselves! Seriously, how many possible pictures can a person post of themselves and not understand the picture does not make the person.
    I wonder about those who have the time and energy to post every action and reaction of their lives; do they truly have one?

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  95. And our poor children who live and breathe the Facebook kool-aid, the expectations they put on each other with their oodles of friends and gazillions of pictures of themselves! Seriously, how many possible pictures can a person post of themselves and not understand the picture does not make the person.
    I wonder about those who have the time and energy to post every action and reaction of their lives; do they truly have one?

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    Replies
    1. You make a great point. All of this talk and all of these pictures do not make the person.

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  96. I totally USED TO feel this way and then I heard a great quote about comparing yourself to others. No idea who said "don't compare your behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel." And that's what I think of FB. I think it's a highlight reel. And I know it's true because I have a couple of good friends whose lives are pretty crappy at the moment but according to FB, everything seems pretty awesome!!

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  97. I accidentally had a jar of Italian spices sitting behind my bag in the grocery cart. I threw it in the cart but it must have missed and landed in the section where you plop little kids. I got outside with my bags of groceries and put them in the car and then when I went to get my bag, there was the spice jar. I should have gone in and returned it or paid for it...but I was too damn tired and so I stole it I guess....for lack of a better word. Guess there is no better word because I indeed, stole it. Winona Rider and I are going to be best friends in jail!

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  98. THANK YOU for this post! It is so true.

    Well, for every run I fart out loud and burp out loud. This morning's run was so damn hot that I didn't care about time, just about making it out alive. Last night I ate a hot dog and chips right before bed (after a late afternoon meal of movie theater popcorn). I was enjoying a glass of wine during my son's playdate that I was hosting.

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  99. I love this post! FB is definitely a platform for bragging, but I think it's because all of those people also lead imperfect lives. That's why I'm not afraid to confess to doing shots of Fernet with coworkers, or what it does for the smell of my sweat on the next days' workout...

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  100. This is why i subscribe to your blog. You are REAL. From the bottom of my heart, "Thank you"! And by the way, the whole bachelorette thing.. 3 glasses for me!

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  101. I love FB! I don't post all of my really hard times there unless it is in a closed group. Not everyone wants to hear about the 15th time my children pooped in their undies (potty training 2 at one time), or how my running is going. Mostly I fail. Ugh. If I tried to run today, I don't even know if I could pick up my feet! I do know lots of people that do the kissy goo goo stuff. Ugh Again! My husband is on FB so that he can keep an eye on the kids' posts. As for farting, I will likely one day explode, because I refuse to do that in front of my husband or in public. Irrational fear I know.

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  102. I don't mind the FB thing so much. It's fun to see pics of fun trips and cute kids and adorable puppies. My confession: Key areas of my lfe are in shambles. I am scared out of my fucking mind and sadder than I ever thought possible. I can't believe I am facing this and want desperately to run and hide in the hopes that it's just a nightmare I can wake up from. But it isn't. So I forge onward and try to keep going.

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    1. I have no idea what you're going through - but, having just survived a very dark period myself, I want to share some advice a friend gave me that helped get me through.

      Sometimes, it's all you can do to keep breathing and that's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just do what you can do today, and try to keep trusting that things will get easier eventually. They nearly always do.

      Good luck.

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  103. Best post ever!! I unfriended my ex of a dozen years ago (for the record, he friended me in the first place) this week because I was sick of seeing pictures of his wife (who he “wasn’t interested in” but starting dated as soon as he broke my heart into a million pieces) and kids, b/c all I could think was “that should have been my perfect life”. So, yeah, you are not alone! I’m honestly happy in my own life and a FB break if often much needed!

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  104. Great post! But I still feel torn. When I'm having a less-than-perfect day and feel tempted to post negative stuff, I ask myself whether it will make anyone's day better and usually conclude it won't. Result - I mostly post upbeat observations designed to remind myself (and others) that life is pretty damned good, despite its imperfections.

    Still, I'll keep your post in mind as I compose my tweets and updates from now on.

    Have a great weekend!

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  105. I have those times when I look at Facebook and think "Holy hell...my life sucks." Then I remind myself that Facebook is filled with peoples' highlight reels (except for college kids who put all their weird crap all over Facebook without realizing how inane it is). For what it's worth, an evening watching TV, eating a bag of popcorn washed down with two glasses of wine and chased by a hidden stash of Hot Tamales is one of my favorites. You're just keeping it real.

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  106. I have those times when I look at Facebook and think "Holy hell...my life sucks." Then I remind myself that Facebook is filled with peoples' highlight reels (except for college kids who put all their weird crap all over Facebook without realizing how inane it is). For what it's worth, an evening watching TV, eating a bag of popcorn washed down with two glasses of wine and chased by a hidden stash of Hot Tamales is one of my favorites. You're just keeping it real.

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  107. Hahaha you're blog made me laugh. I absolutely agree that people's facebook lives look pretty good. Sometimes I wonder if those that brag about how great things are, do so to compensate how bad things are.

    My real thing of the weekend is snapping at one of my friends that compared her looks to mine. I hate when people compare themselves to me especially when they make it out like I have it easier than them. I should of taken it as a compliment or had a deep breath so I could give a sincere anwser. At least I apologized afterwards when I realized I offended her.

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