Friday, July 20, 2012

It’s the Law

This Murphy’s Law for Runners has been making rounds on the Internet. It’s kind of cute, but a little predictable (I do love the poop one though).

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I’d like to add a few of my own:

  • At the final mile of your race you are presented with the mother off all conflicts: PR or stop to poop?
  • The one time you don’t wear your fuel belt in a race, the aid stations run out of water.
  • At mile 8 of a marathon you put your ear buds in only to realize you only synched your “mellow bath song” playlist.
  • You think you are hauling ass during a race only to realize you didn’t turn off the auto pause on your Garmin.
  • In your head you swear up and down it will only be gas, and are surprised once again by the almighty shart.
  • The race wasn’t clearly marked (or you are clueless) and you run an extra two miles.
  • You pee on yourself during a race because you are gunning for a PR. At the aid station, you grab for water to rinse it off, but get Gatorade by mistake. Sticky leg syndrome!
  • Your period is not due for five days. Yet, somehow it shows up on race morning, taunting you at the start line.
  • The first time you ask your girlfriend to come watch you finish a race, you chafe and you cross the finish line with two bleeding bright red bleeding nipples.
  • Your Garmin dies halfway into your race, even though you charged it all night. Turns out your kid unplugged it to charge their iPod. The iPod that they will now not see again for two years.
  • The porta potty you choose is out of toilet paper. Every.single.time.
  • Race shirts only come in two sizes – too large or too small.

Any of these every happen to you? Yes, all of them. Except maybe for the bleeding nipple one.

Got any to add?

SUAR

24 comments:

  1. hahahahahah!!!! love it!!!!
    ive had about half of these happen to me but oddly the reoccurring one was starting my period on race day-this happened a lot in college-most embarrassing was our home xc meet--aside from the UNDERWEAR for bottoms we wore(with singlets tucked in (gah!!!!!!)the entire school showed up for that race,and i had to have blood running down my legs.so wanted to run away fast!!!!

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  2. The switching directions of the wind thing happened to me this morning and I've been really bad about restarting my Garmin after stopping lately.

    I would also like to add the observation that the porta potty you choose to use is also always out of hand sanitizer in addition to TP. Happens every time, which is why I now bring hand sanitizer to all of my races.

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  3. Thanks for sharing the graphic, your additions are pretty funny too. The "mellow bath songs" situation, while not identical but similar, has happened to me in 3 different races!

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  4. The wind thing gets me all the time. I've one to add- If you have food allergies, the course will advertise the gels/drinks you're not allergic to, but will serve the ones that cause throat-closing, ear-itching, can't-freaking-breathe agony. Thankfully, I usually bring one of my own just in case!

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  5. Of course I sprained my ankle yesterday (and badly, too)...because for the first time back running post foot fiasco from hell, I was feeling good running!

    Every time I train for a fall marathon, it's during record high summer heat.

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    1. Jill, I'm so sorry your ankle...I did that last July and it put me out of running for almost a month. I hope yours is considerably more mild, and resolves quickly !

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  6. I love these. The one about the walker in the photos is totally true for me.

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    1. Yes!! My finisher photo of my last marathon was me in the background of this big guy! I was so disappointed :(

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  7. I am so glad I have a shuffle iPod dedicated solely to running music because I'd end up with 'mellow bath music' or that ilk if I didn't!!! And the poop one is my 'favorite' too!!

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  8. If I am a week from my period, I wear a more absorbent liner. Good thing too, as I got my period last year while running a half. It was a horrible feeling, but I knew I wasn't going to bleed out.

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  9. Those were awesome! I hate when my garmin says I've run further than the mile markers say!

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  10. I saw this list. I can relate to many of these. Especially having to go to the bathroom when there's none in sight.

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  11. It's so true - every single last one of them.

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  12. Oh yeah, I relate to most of those. Can't tell you how many times I've thought to myself "how is it meteorologically possible to have a headwind in both directions?!?"

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  13. I working with the Gym Law...or Murphy's Law of the Locker Room...lately. The one about how no matter where you stash your stuff, it WILL become the most popular 2 feet square in the entire locker room at some point in your time there.

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  14. Haha!! I love your additions to the list!

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  15. My favorite race photo of all times is when I was running my first 5K. I didn't realize they would have photographers there, and as a newbie, and someone who just doesn't care about much about who sees me doing things, I crossed the finish line just at the point where I had a giant booger falling out of my nose, so I stuck my finger up there to get it out, and the three photos are me with my finger up my nose, me looking at what I produced, and me wiping it on my singlet. Happy days.
    Amy P.

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  16. Injury a week before? Fact. I think race training plans purposely do this.

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  17. The period one is so stinkin' awful. Ever since i had my son last June the first three days i feel like i need a freakin' blood transfusion (sorry to be so personal) and I've run two of my last three races bleeding out! Ugh. Anyway, i hope that ends soon!

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  18. These are hilarious!!! And oh so true. Sad to admit I have actually done the 'ran farther than the race' one....welll...sorta...I trained and showed up for a 5K, and when we hadn't turned around at the 2K mark I started to get suspicious, till I finally heard a guy on the sidelines say, "2 more miles!" D'oh! It was a 5 MILER, not a 5K!

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  19. I'm late to comment on this but I could add one to the list! This really happened to a friend and we laugh about it regularly. The race photo of you at your 1st half marathon that you trained so long and hard for will also include a man dressed as a testicle with fake pubic hair coming out of it.

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  20. The muddy puddle/new shoes one is funny to me. When I was running in school, my teammates and I always saw clean shoes as a sign that someone wasn't a "real" runner, and would intentionally dirty up our new shoes on the first run out with them. I try not to be so judge-y now, but I still feel uncomfortable in clean running shoes.

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