Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Guy in the Overall Shorts

The craziest thing happened on my run today with Ken. If I had been alone, I would have been really freaked out. I was still freaked out, but in a gross way, not in a scared way.

We were out for a 10 mile run on the back roads of Boulder. If you live around here, you’ve probably run these roads hundreds of times. This is the course that the Boulder Back Roads Half Marathon takes. It’s perfect for running. Gentle inclines, wide dirt roads, light traffic, gorgeous scenery, and lots of fit people who make you feel like a sloth.

IMAG0501

I love the air my ponytail is getting! It should be in the Olympics.

IMAG0507

At about the 5 mile mark we were minding our own business and talking about something important like how funny Mr. Bean was in the opening ceremonies, when a car passed us going in the same direction. It stopped about 100 yards ahead of us and a large guy in overall shorts got out. The fact that someone still wears overall shorts would be enough to qualify as the craziest thing I had seen awhile, but it didn’t stop there. We watched the guy as we ran closer, and Ken asked, “What is that guy doing?” He was facing us,  in the pee stance. I swear, you can tell 49 miles away when a guy someone is peeing – just something about the stance.

Me: Is he peeing? Like standing right in the middle of the road facing us and peeing?

Ken: I don’t know what he’s doing.

Me: Is his thing out? Please tell me he’s not touching himself (this has actually happened to me before twice, not while running and not recently, but it has).

Ken: Nope, he’s peeing. I can see it.

Overall Jean Dude (OJD) finished his leak, got back in the car and drove off. He left a massive puddle in the middle of the road. We were carful not to step in it because we didn’t want to contract hepatitis this morning.

These are not the exact shorts he was wearing because I don’t think his had snaps in the crotch.
Or, maybe they did and that is how he whipped it out so fast.

To clarify, stopping to pee alongside the road is commonplace and totally acceptable. We’ve all done it. But, walking to the middle of the road, facing two runners coming towards you and peeing is just weird and creepy. He could have easily stepped to the side of the road or at least turned around. My guess was that he was a) drunk, or b) going for shock value.

And, another thing - clearly this guy was not playing with a full deck if he was wearing overall shorts. I suppose he might have been on his way to Wal-Mart and was hoping to get photographed for the People of Wal-Mart site.

You can see why this would have creeped me out and scared me infinitely more had I been by myself. I need a Bia Sport for times like this. For real.

I took a dump in the middle of the road on the way back for good measure. Just kidding. Even I have more class than that. Although, if I had my overall shorts on I might have done it. Especially if they had those snazzy snaps in the crotch.

By the way, in case you sleep under rocks, Bia Sport got their funding. The watch will be field tested this fall and will be available for sale in April 2013. Woohoo!!!! And you guys seriously helped to make it happen. One of the founders, Cheryl, told me that 32 backers came directly from SUAR. That’s neck in neck with the Huffington Post!

What’s the weirdest/creepiest thing you’ve seen on a run?

SUAR

51 comments:

  1. wow. i think that means you should get a free Bia Sport. just sayin'.

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  2. Halfway through a half marathon that runs along a river path, a homeless man was watching the runs go by (talking 4ft away here) while releasing some stress under his coat jacket. Gross, and so creapy.

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  3. oh. and today on my run, i saw a girl modeling a negligee in a public lake while another woman photographed her. totally odd since there is a trail that circles the lake that hosts like a million runners on a weekend morning. totally inappropriate. i am pretty sure there are more private lakes for a slinky nighty photo session. i know i was able to find one for my fancy bra and underwear session last week. geesh.

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  4. That is freaky he was a perv and gets off from what he did be careful stay safe and keep running with a buddy if you see him again contact the police seriouslyb.

    Yep I am one of those 32. Exciting to see a small business make it big.

    Thanks again for the inspiration I just started running late last year and love reading your witty posts

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  5. Hilarious post!!! Your humor, I mean, not the drunk guy peeing at (I say "at" because he made it a point to face you all, gross!!!) you in the road. And I am totally with Carrie, you should get a Bia Sport free. At least one! It's the least they could do. LOL

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  6. Pre race last night several men walked oh 20 feet from the crowd and assumed the pee stance.. Go behind a tree, please.

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  7. Ewwwwww! Gross is right! Glad you were not alone.

    I'm abstaining from running watch buying until the Bia comes out. I got so excited when I read about it last week. I sure hope it lives up to the hype. (just using my phone for now)

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  8. Wow!!! Ive got nothing to top that!

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  9. Yeah, I've never seen anything like that but overall shorts on a man is just creepy. Downright creepy. Who am I kidding? They'd be creepy on anyone but an infant!

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    1. Exactly - 0 to 36 months is about the age limit on those.

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  10. The creepiest thing I've ever seen was some Magnum P.I. look-alike, driving around in his Toyota Corolla and photographing female runners on the side of the road. I'm still hoping he had a legitimate reason for doing so, but I'm strongly doubting it.

    Ugh to the dude in the overall shorts...I'm not sure what is creepier, the fact that a grown man would wear overall shorts, or his head-on pee stance. Just...wrong.

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  11. Okay, I have heard of marking one's territory, but that's just crazy creepy.

    I was one of those 32 Bia backers! How could you not back something like that?! I can't wait for it to come out next year!

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  12. It wasn't on a run, but one time, at my father-in-laws summer house in Wisconsin, I glanced out the window facing the water, when a boat carrying fishermen trolled by. One of fishermen stood up, unzipped his pants and began to pee over the side of the boat. Which normally isn't unacceptable behavior, except for the fact that this is a highly populated stretch of water, with houses right next to each other. Either he was really in "the zone" (I suppose fishermen have their endorphins) or he just didn't give a crap that someone might see him.

    When you gotta go, you gotta go. I guess. Who wants to see that?

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  13. I once came across 3 chihuahuas chasing a coyote. It was pretty epic.

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  14. Creepiest? The guy shooting up under the freeway the other evening and his friend/pusher/whatever getting super friendly with me. That was the creepiest, but I have had numerous 'encounters.'

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  15. I need to write all the odd encounters I've had when I remember them...right now, I can't think of anything, but I know I've seem some strange things. Getting old sucks, I am losing half my mind!

    I always wonder where the oddballs come from...overalls and Boulder don't really go hand-in-hand.

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  16. I did see a shirtless guy arguing with a sign on a recent run. I ran back and ran with my mom until we passed him. He was on the railroad tracks and yelling at a switch change sign, "Don't YOU tell me what to do!"

    He was also ripped, and I'm pretty sure that at that point he could have outrun me if he noticed real people and not signs.

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  17. Yeah that was creepy, good thing you were not alone as it would have been scary creepy then.

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  18. I had almost the same thing happen to me yesterday. The trail I walk on goes around the side of a baseball concession stand and as I came around the corner I got to see a man standing facing the trail with it all hanging out urinating. Seriously, the woods are probably not even 20ft away, but to not even face the wall is creepy. I said "oh my God," did a 180, and called the cops.

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  19. Today I saw a man shirtless, with a headband tied around his head, his shirts pulled up over his navel, wearing tube socks, and carrying some sort of spear...

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  20. It would either be the time I found *half* of a dead deer in a ditch next to the trail...Or when I ran the Rome marathon and before the start, dozens of men and women in a row did a last ditch pee on one of the ancient walls of Rome, near the Colisseum. Talk about making your mark on history...

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  21. That's hilarious. I love the crazy stuff you see while running. I once saw a kid running down the sidewalk in loafers, khaki pants, and a button down dress shirt early on Saturday morning. I'm thinking it was a run of shame.

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  22. Beth,
    I was running through our town on Sunday morning around 6:00 am, when my running partner yelled and said look 10:00 "o"clock...A man was walking in his underwear down main street.....

    Blake
    from NC

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  23. My boyfriend and I ran a 5 mile trail race a few weeks ago. Our race started last, and made a different turn at the halfway point than the other distances. My boyfriend was the first up the hill and around the turn and saw a person squatting not far off the trail, making unfortunate noises that indicated significant crappage. We reasoned that s/he (my bf did not stop to really look) was probably a runner from one of the other races who thought s/he had enough time to take a dump before the 5 milers caught up. I felt sorry for the person, but also thought s/he probably should have done further off the trail.

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  24. EEEeeeewwwwww... That's just wrong. I've got nothing that can top that... Nothing.

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  25. When I used to run in Honolulu on Nimitz Hwy (stretch of road that runs directly under the freeway) there was a homeless man that sat amidst 15-20 giant black garbage bags of who knows what. It was his home apparently because he was ALWAYS there. I would always wonder why he would need that many bags of "stuff".

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  26. Glad you were not alone, that is totally creepy. I haven't seen too many weird things on my runs, other than some teens who had built a campfire on the sport court of our development's playground while they were hanging out and playing basketball. I am one of the 32, by the way--can't wait for Bia to be out next year!

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  27. Very creepy, indeed. In my 30 + years of running, I can't say that I have ever seen anyone do anything quite like that. I will admit that I accidentally mooned a bunch of people when I hurriedly went behind a dumpster in a parking lot to pee before a race. I didn't realize that there was another parking lot behind the dumpster. At least my exposure was accidental!

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  28. Oh, lordy, where to I start? My favorite story is from about 10-ish years ago when I was trail running in DeSoto State Park in NE Alabama (packing pepper spray and a knife) and I see I woman lying on the ground, eyes closed, off the side of the trail . . .about 10 yards ahead on the trail is a man who stops abruptly and heads my way. I stop by the woman to see if she's breathing (In a split second, I've convinced myself that she's dead), she's breathing but looks asleep . . . The man approaches me . . he looks familiar . . . the NYer side of me comes out and I start yelling at him to back off or I'm spraying . . .damn, he looks familiar . . .the woman wakes up . . . and I realize I'm getting ready to pepper spray Don Siegelman--the "then" Governor of Alabama. He and his wife were camping in the park, and she was "napping" while he was bird watching! However, I wasn't too far off w/ the criminal aspect of it all--he's served time for some kind of financial mess.

    BTW, I'm one of the 32 SUAR Bia Backers, and proud of it! I gave SUAR all the credit!

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    1. Woah, that is one of the most random craziest stories I have heard. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for backing BIA!

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    2. Nothing too creepy here... Was out on a long run with my trainer & an old dude in a golf cart tried to tell me that running is bad for me & would tear up my knees (little did he know that a doctor recently told me that my knees are not those of a typical 51-year-old). I thought he was being a concerned citizen but my trainer said he was oogling me. At least it was still in his pants... I'm one of the 32 Bia backers!

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    3. Nothing too creepy here... Was out on a long run with my trainer & an old dude in a golf cart tried to tell me that running is bad for me & would tear up my knees (little did he know that a doctor recently told me that my knees are not those of a typical 51-year-old). I thought he was being a concerned citizen but my trainer said he was oogling me. At least it was still in his pants... I'm one of the 32 Bia backers!

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  29. Thats so creepy!!!! I don't have a run story but a man did the same thing once... on a TRAIN! I wish I was kidding but he did a wee wee in front of all these passengers. Eughhh! Some people!

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  30. Ummm I used to run on the white rock lake trail in Dallas all the time (before I moved) but one day, I looked over to the right and there was a man in the bushes and masturbating FURIOUSLY. I freaked out and sprinted away (I was just at a normal pace before) and called the cops. It scared me...I was afraid to run by for a while after that....and it was weird because a lot of people use that trail. I am still a little scarred.

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  31. Okay that is disturbing. Was it the same guy who's pic is on FB wearing those? the really hairy dude? omword. Hoping he was so drunk. I'm lame...nothing weird on my runs other than bats flying in the air.

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  32. You so nailed it--with Ken, it's funny. By yourself, it would have been very creepy!

    I once had a cycling partner who, whenever she had to pee, would just pull over and pee right there on the side of the road--no effort to find a bush or find cover of any sort. Even with guys around. She was an interesting one...

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  33. EW and Yikes! That definitely would have been scary to encounter running solo. There are some interesting people out there. Glad you had Ken with you and that he turned out to be harmless and just crazy/gross. :/

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  34. WOW! I'm glad you weren't alone! And had to laugh on the crap comment.

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  35. It mortifies me when I travel home to NH and my mom is mowing the lawn with overalls and just a bra underneath. She claims "no one" can see her.

    You should also watch Swamp People for the award of best fashionable overall.

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  36. That IS weird! You know what's even more weird? That something very similar to that happened to us this weekend!

    The hubs & I were cycling 50 miles in Door County, Wisconsin and had hit our halfway point in a little lakeside town called Jacksonsport. We stopped and were popping Gus and downing Powerade when we noticed two men 50 yards from us (who were either homeless or just dirty in general.) The older man had red basketball shorts on. Over that, he proceeded to pull up a pair of tighty whities. I shit you, not! And then on top of it all? Bib overalls! Yes! A few minutes later, he walked over to us and said "I pray for God to heal all cancer on Saturdays." and then he walked away... It was special (considering our son is battling cancer) and strange at the same time. At least his undies wouldn't get streaks, right?

    Sarah
    www.thinfluenced.com

    Sarah

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  37. Echo the Swamp People sentiment. This is why I always run with pepper spray... Pepper the Peter.

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  38. There are no words for that story, lol. I wish I had a cool/weird/crazy story but nothing too exciting yet! Glad you weren't alone though...who knows what other surprises he would have had, lol.

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  39. OH MY GOODNESS!!! That is the craziest thing in the world? The middle of the road in front of two runners? That is SO strange. I miss my overall shorts from 3rd grade.

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  40. I'm SUPER excited about the Bia Sport! Guess I'll be getting myself one for my birthday!!

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  41. I lived in Kansas City for 11 years and ran by myself at 5:00 in the morning before work each day. Being the naive soul that I was, I thought it was sweet when each morning, an older gentlemen came out for his newspaper each day in his driveway, at the same time I ran by each day. I would smile and say good morning like the born and raised mid-westerner that I was. One morning, as I approached his driveway, he was coming to get his newspaper, bent over in front of me to pick up his KC Star with NO. PANTS. ON!!!!!! I was shocked and horrified and ran a PR all the way home into the arms of my husband!

    I laughed it off and thought it was funny, but then it made me mad...because I loved that 6 mile route and I had to change it to avoid that CREEP!

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  42. Wow! Good thing you were running with your husband. I would be totally freaked out if I was alone and that happened.

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  43. wow, that is creepy. Glad you weren't alone and could actually laugh it off. Why are people so weird these days!?

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  44. Very creepy! I can't wait for my Bia! I listed you as how I came to know about them.

    I ran into (not literally) one of my neighbors walking his dogs on an early morning run. He was in his underwear. He just stood there. I looked straight ahead. both of us trying to act like it wasn't happening.

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  45. I might be able to top that. My husband and I were biking on a heavily trafficked public paved trail in Florida. From a distance we see a woman squatting down on the paved path and as we get closer we realize she has got her pants down and is peeing on the path. She was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and bright pink panties. Mind you there is a clearing in the woods not more than 2 feet from her and public restrooms less than a mile away, but she decided the path was the better location to take care of business. Also, she looked directly into my eyes, like what are you going to do about it. Now that is classy!

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  46. Anyone know where I can buy Overall shorts?

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