The craziest thing happened on my run today with Ken. If I had been alone, I would have been really freaked out. I was still freaked out, but in a gross way, not in a scared way.
We were out for a 10 mile run on the back roads of Boulder. If you live around here, you’ve probably run these roads hundreds of times. This is the course that the Boulder Back Roads Half Marathon takes. It’s perfect for running. Gentle inclines, wide dirt roads, light traffic, gorgeous scenery, and lots of fit people who make you feel like a sloth.
I love the air my ponytail is getting! It should be in the Olympics.
At about the 5 mile mark we were minding our own business and talking about something important like how funny Mr. Bean was in the opening ceremonies, when a car passed us going in the same direction. It stopped about 100 yards ahead of us and a large guy in overall shorts got out. The fact that someone still wears overall shorts would be enough to qualify as the craziest thing I had seen awhile, but it didn’t stop there. We watched the guy as we ran closer, and Ken asked, “What is that guy doing?” He was facing us, in the pee stance. I swear, you can tell 49 miles away when a guy someone is peeing – just something about the stance.
Me: Is he peeing? Like standing right in the middle of the road facing us and peeing?
Ken: I don’t know what he’s doing.
Me: Is his thing out? Please tell me he’s not touching himself (this has actually happened to me before twice, not while running and not recently, but it has).
Ken: Nope, he’s peeing. I can see it.
Overall Jean Dude (OJD) finished his leak, got back in the car and drove off. He left a massive puddle in the middle of the road. We were carful not to step in it because we didn’t want to contract hepatitis this morning.
These are not the exact shorts he was wearing because I don’t think his had snaps in the crotch.
Or, maybe they did and that is how he whipped it out so fast.
To clarify, stopping to pee alongside the road is commonplace and totally acceptable. We’ve all done it. But, walking to the middle of the road, facing two runners coming towards you and peeing is just weird and creepy. He could have easily stepped to the side of the road or at least turned around. My guess was that he was a) drunk, or b) going for shock value.
And, another thing - clearly this guy was not playing with a full deck if he was wearing overall shorts. I suppose he might have been on his way to Wal-Mart and was hoping to get photographed for the People of Wal-Mart site.
You can see why this would have creeped me out and scared me infinitely more had I been by myself. I need a Bia Sport for times like this. For real.
I took a dump in the middle of the road on the way back for good measure. Just kidding. Even I have more class than that. Although, if I had my overall shorts on I might have done it. Especially if they had those snazzy snaps in the crotch.
By the way, in case you sleep under rocks, Bia Sport got their funding. The watch will be field tested this fall and will be available for sale in April 2013. Woohoo!!!! And you guys seriously helped to make it happen. One of the founders, Cheryl, told me that 32 backers came directly from SUAR. That’s neck in neck with the Huffington Post!
What’s the weirdest/creepiest thing you’ve seen on a run?