Sunday, December 2, 2012

Lucky’s Last Day

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I woke up yesterday morning at 1 a.m. – wide awake for no reason. I went to check on my dog, Lucky, simply to make sure that he was okay. I heard him coughing and went to comfort him. I held him for awhile and realized that today would be the day we would say goodbye. His coughing was fierce and would not let him rest. I made some tea and grabbed some chocolate chip cookies I had made the day before. For the past few months, Lucky hasn’t been able to have any extra treats because he just craps everywhere. But, this night was different. We sat and shared cookies. I let him eat all he wanted.

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From 1:00 a.m. until 6:00 a.m. I held him on my lap. His thin body trembled and wretched with the coughing. An x-ray last spring had shown a mass in his lungs, and I knew for sure that this tumor was getting the best of him. I yearned for the sun to come up so I could go about the business of doing what needed to be done. But, I dreaded for the sun to come up so I could go about the business of doing what needed to be done. I cherished with every part of my being these sacred and quiet moments with my dog. For the past ten years we’ve been inseparable.

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I woke up the kids around 7:00 a.m., much too early for a Saturday when they usually get the luxury of sleeping in. I told them today would be Lucky’s last day and they needed to say their goodbyes. Sam came up and laid with Lucky while Lucky licked Sam’s thigh. This made me laugh for some reason. Big bulky teenager letting a dog lick his thigh. Emma, 11 years old, was so heartbroken she could not leave her bed. She has never known a day without this dog. I called my mom and dad and my dad came to say his goodbyes. When I wasn’t around, my dad was the one Lucky went to for comfort and for love.

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I finally coaxed Emma out of bed. We decided to spend the next two hours doing things Lucky loved. Being awake and on his feet, Lucky was feeling pretty good. It’s the nighttimes when he lays down and the tumor presses on his windpipe that the suffers. We got him in the car and rolled down the windows to let him feel the wind on his face. Car rides have always been his most favorite thing. We went through the McDonald’s drive thru and got him a sausage McGriddle. He wolfed it down. We took him for a walk and that McGriddle was already making it’s way out the other end. Gross but expected! We let him have some quality time with the guinea pig, Betty Sue, who he loves to lick. Then it was time to go.

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I sat in the backseat, Lucky on my lap. I wept the whole way to the vet’s office. We got stuck by a train and this was both torture and the chance to soak up a few more moments with Lucky. At the vet, Sam waited in the waiting room while Ken and I went into the exam room. By this time, Lucky was running around sniffing and wagging his tail. This just made it harder.  The vet explained what would happen. I had never been through this before. Every single cell of my being wanted to scoop up Lucky and take him home. But, I kept thinking of his suffering the night before and knew I could not watch him through another night like that.

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The medicine went in and within seconds his little legs started to buckle and we softly laid him down. I cried like a baby, probably harder than I’ve ever cried and rubbed and kissed his little head as I had done a million time before. A quick check with the stethoscope and the vet said, “He’s gone.” I cannot explain the heartbreak, but if you’ve been through it, you know. It was gut wrenching. But, I knew it was the right thing. I hugged and kissed him and marveled at how perfectly peaceful and beautiful he looked. Man I love that dog.

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I thought I would feel relieved, but I just feel empty and sad. I know it was the right decision, but there is not joy or satisfaction in that now. I see his empty bed and his water bowl still half full and my heart aches. Emma said it best when she told me, “I would rather for Lucky to be happy right  now than for me to be happy right now”.

This dog was a fighter. We no one wanted to adopt him ten years ago because he only had three legs, we saw his loving and strong spirit and never hesitated. Then two years ago he lost his eye. He never really slowed down and he always put himself at the center of our family, no matter how bad he felt. He was a lover (and humper!) in the truest and simplest sense of the word. His happiness was based on human connection (and food and licking himself).

I know he is no long suffering, but selfishly I just want him back with me.

The thing that is the hardest about losing someone or something is that there is absolutely nothing you can do to bring them back. There are no extra opportunities for a last hug, there are more more chances to take a walk in the park or to say something you need to say. What you do have, however, is the spirit that lives on – the memories and energy of that person or pet that remains steadfastly in your heart. And, this poem has given me comfort last night and today.

As you know, writing is like therapy for me. So thank you for reading my words and for letting me have a caring platform to express my sadness.

RIP Lucky Dog.

SUAR

223 comments:

  1. OMG, I am so sorry. I am sitting here feeling your pain and balling my eyes out. Prayers to you and your family!

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  2. Oh Beth! I am so sorry! I am crying for having been through this in our family. Your Emma is a wise girl :) Sending you big hugs and lots of Kleenex.

    Katie

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  3. Sorry for your loss. I have been there more than I'd like, and it is hard. Lucky was awfully lucky to have you, and you him. Check out the book "Dog Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant.

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  4. I am sobbing as I read this. What a beautiful last day that you shared with a very special part of your family. Thank you for sharing this with us.

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  5. Godspeed sweet Lucky. Sorry for your loss Beth.

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  6. I just had to de-lurk to say I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your baby girl is smart beyond her years! Time will indeed heal and Lucky was indeed "lucky" to have you as his mommy :') All the best to you and your family ~ Stephanie

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  7. I'm crying now too! We went through this twice in the past 12 years and it still gets to me....love your Emma's quote...she is a very wise young lady! Prayers to you and your family!

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  8. I am so sorry!!! Prayers for comfort and peace for you and your family!!

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  9. Oh, no...I'm so very sorry to hear about Lucky. Thinking of you and your family and hoping that you will find some comfort in all your wonderful memories, and in the knowledge that you gave your little guy an amazing life!

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  10. What a sweet face. I have a cocker spaniel too. Love those floppy ears and big eyes. I'm sending you cyber hugs. It is so hard to lose a beloved pet. They truly are a member of the family. Lucky was one lucky dog!

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  11. Oh Beth, I am crying right now. It sounds like Lucky belongs in the "doggy hall of fame!" We have decided that every family has one or two. We lost our dog Sophie two years ago and it was just as painful, we have a new dog that we love, but she will never be the same as Sophie. Thinking of you guys today.

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  12. Damn, girl. I am really sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is losing your family. I recently lost my Foxy to a seizure and stage 6 heart murmur the day before my birthday. We came home and she was dead. I never got those last moments with her like you did with Lucky. You were blessed to have that time together. Much love to you and the kids. You've got a friend in Texas thinking about you all.

    Jen

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  13. We just went through this with my dog from childhood. I wept shamelessly. I am so sorry. Praying for your family.

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  14. This was a hard post to read and probably even more difficult to write. I felt like I was right there with you guys. I am so sorry that the day had to come, but knowing what I know from following your blog, this experience will make you stronger and you will go on better for having known and loving Lucky. Thinking of you guys. -Stephanie

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  15. It's hard when you have to make that decision. I've had to do it once. I've lost two Rotties to canine cancer. I started running for Chase Away K9 Cancer. A great non-profit that raises funds for canine cancer research. I'm glad you read the Rainbow Bridge. It helped me. Hugs to you and your family.

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  16. Oh honey, I'm in tears now. I went through that a couple years ago with the cat I'd had since I was 4. He made it to 21. Knowing you did the right thing can be little comfort but you did do it. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts today and in days to come. So so sorry.

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  17. I am so sorry for your loss. I understand completely how you feel. Thanks very much for sharing this sad, yet uplifting story. Lucky was lucky to have such a loving family and you were lucky to have... Lucky. Mike

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  18. I'm feeling your pain....we lost our beloved fur family member this week when he lost his battle with cancer...hugs to you and the kids...

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  19. This post just made me cry like a baby. Its a very hard decision to make and I feel like I would have done everything the same. Many hugs to you and your loved ones.

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  20. We just lost our family pet a few months ago and your story made me cry because I really know how painful it is. Thoughts are with your family today.

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  21. I am so sorry for your loss of Lucky. Losing a pet is one of the hardest and most heartbreaking things I've ever done. Your little girl said it perfectly. And I love that poem. LOVE it.

    hugs to your family.

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  22. Tears myself as I write this. I'm so sorry Beth. I know how hard it is to let them go {having done it myself}. Hugs to you all.

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  23. I'm so sorry. I couldn't *not* read this, though it was tough to do through the tears. Hugs!

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  24. So sorry for your loss! Prayers to you and your family as you start the hard process of grieving for a loved one, as Lucky very much is a part of your family. huggs

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  25. So sorry to hear it... Love that you guys had a special last day with him. :(

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  26. This post has me sobbing like a baby. I went through an incredibly similar experience with my furbaby, Iris, about 6 months ago, and I still think about her every day and wish I could just have a few more hours with her. It's such a hard thing, to know when it is the right time to say goodbye, but it sounds like you really made Lucky's last hours truly special and now you can know that he is no longer suffering. My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family in this incredibly sad time.

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  27. Went through this last August. I still miss my Molly like it was yesterday. Lucky was lucky to be a part of your family.

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  28. Beautiful said. Thanks for sharing!

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  29. Sorry for your loss. So happy Lucky had such a good home.

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  30. Ok I cried. Thank you for sharing. I'll remember this post when it is my girls time

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  31. There are just no words for this. I've been there too, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Lucky's last day sounds glorious for a pup and he was lucky to have your family to love him. Sending thoughts and hugs your way.

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  32. Oh, I'm so sorry. You can try to be an adult all you want, and try to tell yourself that it's for the best, but it is so very hard to say goodbye.

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  33. So, so sorry. This just broke my heart as it brought back the time when I had to put down, Colby, my 16.5 year old Cocker Spaniel. I will never get over it. I had had him since he was three months old. I feel your pain.

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  34. I am so so sorry for your loss. I will soon have to make this same decision for our lovely black lab and I dread it so much. You gave Lucky a beautiful last day for him and your whole family. I'm hope I'm able to do the same for our sweet Sadi.

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  35. Lucky truly was a "lucky" dog to have a family like yours, as you were lucky to have him for so many years. So sorry for your loss. I hope that your happy memories bring you some comfort.

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  36. i'm so sorry beth. such a hard thing to do. My heart and my prayers are with you and this time of morning. Hugs.

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  37. So sorry for your loss. It really is a terrible emptiness but you did the right thing for Lucky and he lived a terrific life with a great family.

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  38. I am so sorry that you had to say goodbye to Lucky. What a beautiful tribute to him, your post made me remember so vividly my last day with my beautiful Ally girl. We had to make that decision too and I do not think there is anything harder in this world. You gave him a great life and now he is smiling on you from above . . . I bet going for a 4 legged run. Hugs to you and your family at this difficult time.

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  39. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dogs 9 years ago and still think of them. I hope your family finds comfort in your memories.

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  40. My heart goes out to you and your family. We went through this in May with companion of 13 years. I still think of him every day.

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  41. I'm so sorry for your loss of your beloved family member. It took me about 5 different try's o get through your post--the entire time my dog was laying next to me on the couch. And I was sobbing in tears. I couldn't imagine going through all that and to watch him slowly leave this earth. He is much happier now and now you can be a little relieved knowing he isn't suffering anymore. Bless your heart <3

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  42. RIP Lucky. So sorry for your family's loss, Beth

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  43. Oh my!! We lost our one eyed Irish Setter in April. The only difference is that our vet makes house calls but the way you described it, identical. Nothing really prepares you to say goodbye to the unconditional love of a 4 or three legged friend. Definately better to have loved them and deal with the heartbreak of losing them, then to never have loved them at all.

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  44. I'm so very sorry for your loss! My husband and I don't plan on having human kids but we have two dogs who are our children that we adore and I dread the day that they pass, I don't think I'll be able to do it! All dogs really do go to heaven and your sweet Lucky is running around up there and keeping an eye on you.

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  45. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. We had to say goodbye to our much too young dog about a year in a half ago, but we had to make the decision very quickly, too. We are thankful for a little time at home we had to say good-bye, because I just knew that we would not be bringing her home that afternoon.

    It was the hardest thing of my entire life, to go home without our dog that day. It hurt like hell for a long time. I literally hurt, all over. More than I ever imagined, and it tested our relationship. (We are don't have kids so our dog was very much the shared creature we took care of.)

    Many hugs and much love. You are not alone in what you are feeling, and every tear you shed is valid.

    But eventually, it will get better. I promise you.

    xxoo

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  46. It sounds like Lucky was truly lucky to have you; and vice versa. My heart goes out to you.

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  47. One more thing...you had raised one hell of a daughter to say such a self-less thing.

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  48. So eloquently written. I am in tears right now. As a dog owner, I can empathize. It is amazing how much they become a part of the family. He couldn't have asked for a more loving home or a more loving way to go.

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  49. I am so very sorry...Emma is a wise girl.

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  50. I cried my eyes out reading this post. I am so sorry. We have a Corgi and a weenie dog and they are our children, since we don't have any yet. When that time comes for Penny and Bruno, I will be devastated. You will be in my prayers!

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  51. Hard post to read, in fact I couldn't read every word. Heart ache.

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  52. Oh Beth, your whole family is in my thoughts. It is so hard, I know. Even when you know you made the right decision, it is so hard.

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  53. I am so sorry for your loss. Lucky was indeed lucky to have you and your family. AmyD

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  54. My heart absolutely breaks for you and your family. You gave Lucky such a beautiful life and there's not a doubt in my mind that he wasn't grateful for your love and compassion. He definitely left his little paw print on your hearts.

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  55. So very very sorry. Dogs are the best part of a family!

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  56. So sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking. Hope your joyful memories of him get you through this difficult time.

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  57. I am so deeply sorry for you loss. There may be no greater loss than that of a beloved pet. My heart aches for loss. Deepest condolences. xoxo

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  58. I am so sorry for your loss. And I know exactly what you are going through--I lost my cat, Harley, four weeks ago tomorrow. It was the first time I've had to make the decision for a pet, and the first time I've gone in with the animal. And it does NOT bring relief--you are absolutely right. It just feels terrible.

    My condolences to you and your family. Pets ARE family, and you are allowed to grieve.

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  59. I just went through the same thing a couple months ago with my cat. Same thing -- woke up in the middle of the night for no reason, and she came to me and was clearly very, very sick. I held her for the rest of the night and the vet came to my home the next day and put her to sleep. One of the worst days of my life. I sobbed reading your post. It gets easier, but it's still one of the hardest things ever. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  60. I am so very sorry for your loss. As someone who has been there before, I cried along with you as I read the entire thing. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  61. The day you say goodbye is always the worst but many years later, you will barely remember that day. You will remember the good days clearly.

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  62. I was dreading reading this post...having been through this a number of times, I know exactly how you feel. It sucks. There's just nothing that will take away what you're feeling, and although it does get "better" with time, the sadness never really goes away. I hope you know you are not alone in your grieving, as much as it may feel it at times. Hang in there, and remember - you did the right thing by making this tough decision. I'm so proud of you for being there with him at the very end. It's the least we can do for our faithful furry friends. Thinking of you and your family...

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  63. I am so sorry for your loss :( You gave him the best life possible and never gave up on him. Sending prayers to you and your family!

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  64. I am so sorry for you loss. I love that you spent Lucky's last day doing his favorite things. He was truly lucky to have your family in his life. I have gone through this with so many pets in my life and it is never easy. Hold on to your favorite memories of Lucky and know that he is in a better place.

    I could barely read this post through my own tears. We can all relate to your sadness and loss. I will be giving my pets extra love today as this reminded me of their short presence in my life.

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  65. I'm so sorry you had to let Lucky go - you're all in my thoughts.

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  66. SO sorry for your loss. I've been there, and it never gets easier, whether it's a dog, or a rat. Pets are family, plain and simple. My heart aches for your family.

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  67. Crying tears for you and your family after reading your post. I'm so sorry for your loss but so happy for the years you had with Lucky. We lost our 12 year old Golden Retriever a year ago and it still hurts. I just try to remember the good times with him.

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  68. I am so very sorry for your loss. They are members of our family. I was in the same exact situation just over two years ago. It was the hardest day of my life. Be kind to yourself in the coming days and months. You were both Lucky to have each other for so long.

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  69. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know he will be missed, your family and he were all Lucky. :(

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  70. I am so sorry.

    They burn like fireworks, hot and bright and altogether too fast.

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  71. I am so sorry for your loss! May you find comfort in your memories of the time you had with him. Peace!

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  72. i read something the other day - from a friend on facebook - dogs live shorter lives because they know their mission - simply to love and to be loved. i lost my 13 year old best buddy- 2 months ago - i could hardly get through your post. my heart aches for you and for your children - as it does for my loss. you were a blessing to that critter - and a blessing for me each day. thank you for your words..

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  73. I too was right where you are, putting my dog of 15 yrs. down just before Christmas 3 yrs. ago. I'm so sorry for your loss, those little critters work their way into our hearts. And thank you for being able to share, I know how difficult it must be.

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  74. I'm so sorry to hear about this, but it sounds like you made the right decision. I've been through this twice. It's hard, but at least you know you were sparing him discomfort. It's so good that he had an owner like you, as dogs like him are sometimes harder to place with families. I'm thinking of you guys today.

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  75. I am so sorry to hear this. We've had to let go of a cat and a 17 yo dog within the last couple years.

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  76. Hugs to you and your family. That was rough reading and yet so sweet at the same time. I know when my Spanky passed early this year I didn't get to say my goodbyes, I was actually calling my parents to say I was coming down to their house to spend time with him and they let me know he was gone, passed in the night.

    But anyhoo, I cried like a baby every night for awhile.

    I just wanted to offer some good vibes for your family, I'm very sorry for you loss. Just like his name, it sounds like he was lucky to have you guys.

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  77. Oh, Beth. So sad for you right now. But I love how you said goodbye: how you had all your last memories with Lucky doing what he loves the most. He left you at his happiest, surrounded by the people he loved and was most loyal to. I wish I could offer some comfort, but just now I'm thinking about you and your family.

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  78. So sorry to hear. We had to put our Mokey down in September. He came into my life 7 years ago when I met my husband.

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  79. Beautifully written... a great tribute to Lucky. I'm so sorry for your loss!

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  80. Great post. Thoughts to you and your family. I'll be thinking about you and Lucky this week while running with Norman. You make me enjoy that even more, thanks Beth!

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  81. My heart absolutely breaks for you and your family right now. You loved your dog so much that you knew that it was time to let him go and be at peace. I'm tearing up thinking about how much you loved Lucky and how truly lucky he was.

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  82. I am so sorry for your loss. It breaks the heart to lose such a treasured member of the family. He is at peace now, and will live in your hearts forever. Love to your family, the Cunninghams, Bangor Maine

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  83. I'm sorry Beth, for you and your whole family.

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  84. There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said. What a wonderful last day you gave Lucky, and what a wonderful life! You will meet again.

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  85. I've never had a pet, but your post still moved me to tears. You must have some great memories of Lucky. Lovely photos with the kids - those two sound awesome!

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  86. So, so sorry. I was tearing up reading this as it reminded me of taking my cat in a few years ago. She was all I knew since I was 12 years old and it was the hardest thing ever! Take care.

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  87. I am reading this with tears rolling down my cheeks. We just put our beloved lab down in May of this year. On her last day, she ate as many oranges and bananas as she desired. These were her favorite foods. I took the day off and we took turns sitting with her on the floor. We have a vet that comes to our home. She came and we all (my husband, our other two dogs, and myself) stayed with her, all loving and snuggling with her. She, like your Lucky, was a huge part of our lives for over ten years. I still miss her. My sympathies to you and your family. Thanks for giving Lucky a good last day.

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  88. Lucky was very lucky indeed to have you all as his family. So sorry for everyone's loss. You will meet him again.

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  89. So very sorry for your loss, Beth.

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  90. Such a sad but lovely story. Thank you for sharing such a tough but beautiful day.

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  91. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I truly sympathize - I've put down a dog before too and putting down a pet is putting down a member of your family. I have tears rolling down my cheeks reading this - I wish I could give your whole family a hug. Sending well wishes your way.

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  92. I dropped off my little hedgie at the vet to have cancer removed two days ago. I got a call expecting the vet to tell me it was time to pick her up, but she had actually discovered during the operation that the cancer was much more invasive than they had thought and it would be best to put her down right then. I cried and cried sitting at my desk at work, and I know everyone thought I was crazy.

    I'm sorry for your loss and pain. It hurts even more than you think it will, I know. And there is no way to prepare yourself for it I don't think. Animals are just so precious and innocent, it doesn't seem fair when they get old and sick.

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  93. I am so sorry for your loss. What beautiful sentiments you shared about Lucky who was truly a member of your family in the same way that kids, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents etc. are. Thank you for sharing Lucky with us. God bless you as you go through this tough time, and remember . . . all dogs go to heaven. He'll be there waiting for you all and will probably lick the living crap out of you when he sees you again, wondering what took you so, eh hem, doggone long.

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  94. I am very sorry for your loss. We have manged to outlive 4 wonderful dogs. It doesn't get any easier.

    I will hug my dogs for Lucky. He had a very good life!

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  95. So sorry for your loss. Those darn critters crawl into your heart, and when they leave there is a huge hole left behind. Emma is a sweetie and shows a lot of maturity with her statement! Lucky truly was lucky.

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  96. I am so very sorry for your loss. I sat here and cried while reading your words. Lucky was very fortunate to have a family that loved him as much as you did. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  98. I am so sorry for your loss. You gave him a great life and a peaceful death. He was lucky to have found you.

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  99. So sorry Beth. Putting a beloved pet to sleep is insanely difficult. I love how wise your daughter is, she is so right.

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  100. I'm so sad for you and your family.

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  101. I am so sorry for your loss. You wrote this so honestly and beautifully.

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  102. I am so sorry for you and your family. Your Lucky was truly a lucky boy to have you as family. Your love for him is obvious and beautiful. Peace be with you.

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  103. So sorry for you and your family. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose your best friend. Lucky was absolutely lucky to have you for a family.

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  104. i am so sorry... and so teary... we had to make that decision for my sweet olden golden last fall... we'd been through soooo many adventures and had sooooo much fun... i just like to think of her chasing squirrels and moose and rolling in stinky salmon and eating as much poop as she wants alllll to her hearts content grinning the whole time... tail wagging in circles...in the mountains in the sky. :)this is my wish for your lucky, too... but with his own "best evers" in there... :)
    kz
    OR

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  105. Oh girl, I am so sorry. I know how hard it is even knowing it's the best thing for your furry friend. I just went through the same thing in August.
    My husband had my dog cremated and put into a wooden box with her paw prints & name on top. It's something tangible and I will treasure it forever. It helped a lot knowing she'll always be with us.
    R.I.P Lucky. <3

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  106. I'm so, so sorry. He was a beautiful dog.

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  107. So sorry Beth. And well said Emma. RIP Lucky...

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  108. I am so sorry. I do know how you feel. We have lost many pets over the years. It is so difficult but you gave him a wonderful life and he knew he was loved you can't do any more than that.

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  109. {{{HUGS}}} I'm so very sorry - what a "Lucky" doggie he was to have found your family <3

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    1. p.s. You should read the book "A Dog's Purpose". Awesome book and will bring you comfort.

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  110. Very sorry, I certainly know how you are feeling and you captured him and your love for him beautifully in this post.

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  111. Tears and hugs for you and your family. I know how much a dog becomes a part of the family and a part of your heart and it is a true loss. I am so glad you got to have a special last morning with Lucky, and he was very lucky to have your family love him so much. Hugs!

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  112. I'm sitting here with tears pouring down my face. Poor Lucky, the three-legged, one-eyed dog who was loved so much. I'm glad he didn't suffer, but that doesn't make it easier. R.I.P. Lucky XXX

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  113. Oh man this made me bawl. I'm so sad for your family. I know nothing will fill that empty void but I hope you can learn to cope with it. My parents had to put my beagle down when I was in college and I remember just crying and crying. I still mourn her loss sometimes and that was 15 years ago.

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  114. that's the thing about pets. all you feel for them is love, and all they ever gave you is love in return. Its heartbreaking to loose a pet. I'm not a dog person, but I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a dog you love.

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  115. "Euthanasia is taking your dog's pain and making it your own." - Unknown

    I have had to make this decision many times. It NEVER gets easier. My brother-in-law sent this to me when I had to put my shepherd down.

    “I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

    Then someone at my side says: “there, she is gone!”

    “Gone where?”

    Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

    Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!” There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: “Here she comes!”

    And that is dying.”

    - Henry Van Dyke

    Peace. - Celia

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    1. Thank you - this is such a beatiful sentiment. I read it to my daughter and I think it helped us both a bit. I love the thought of "Here she comes!"

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  116. I just lost my 16 1/2 year old cat Willie in October and have spent the weekend caring for his litter mate Lucy, who is struggling to beat pneumonia. My heart is aching for you. I feel Willie everywhere. You'll feel Lucky, too. Love from Kentucky.

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  117. So sorry, I can't even imagine. Our dogs are getting older and I dread the day. You are in my thoughts.

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  118. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a gift you gave your kids to have a dog to grow up with. Our dog died when my kids were older teens and the loss we all felt was overwhelming but we also knew that we were blessed to have him in our lives for 10 years. My thoughts are with you.

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  119. I'm sitting here bawling (and I mean BAWLING) reading your post. Not only for your family's loss, but in re-living the loss of my two family pets earlier this year - my sister and I live far from my parents and they both had the unfortunate responsibility of putting our two pups to rest.

    My heart is with you and your family, and may you always remember Lucky for his spirit and enthusiasm for sausage McGriddles and licking the guinea pig!

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  120. The unconditional love of a dog is like no other. I am so sorry for your loss. I am bawling as I read your post.

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  121. I'm so sorry - our pets are such a part of our lives. I'm thinking of you and your family!

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  122. Many cyber hugs to you, Ken, Sam, your parents, and wise Emma who did say just the right thing.


    Thanks for sharing Lucky with us. 8 months ago our vet told us someone was surrendering their hunting dog (beagle) because she had cancer in her leg and would need it amputated. She wouldn't be able to hunt anymore. My daughter wanted to adopt her but my husband and I were hesitant. What kind of a life would a 3-legged hunting dog have? Then I remembered reading about your Lucky and how his life was just fine (even without the eye). So we went for it, and are so happy to have our tripawed Annabelle with us.

    My thought are with you in these difficult days.

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  123. So so sorry for your loss! Pets add so much to your life but its so hard when they are gone. Big hugs to you.

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  124. I can only imagine what a tough day it was for you and your family. Kudos for taking the time to make a few more memories before letting Lucky go. I am sorry for your loss but appreciate your ability to share this experience. It's a lovely post.

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  125. I am so very sorry for your loss. How lucky you both were to have each other in life. My thoughts are with you.

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  126. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine losing my dog, it's like a member of the family. But Lucky is not suffering any more and she is galloping around in dog heavan, having the time of her life. My prayers are with you and your family!

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  127. I've been there twice myself.......so I know exactly what you're going through. Knowing it's the right and humane thing to do doesn't make it any easier, but you and your family had a wonderful last day together with Lucky. The good memories will carry you through....but I'm still sorry for your loss. He was a good dog and you both were blessed to have each other.

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  128. I know how horrible the pain is of losing a family dog. We went through the same thing with our yellow lab not long ago. I promise it will get easier. We had to get a new pup soon after because it just felt weird not having a dog in the house, too quiet. Lucky was a sweet boy and he was lucky to be loved by you and your family.

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  129. I'm so sorry. That was a Lucky dog! My little dog has had cancer and was expected to die about 2 years ago. Everyday is a blessing, a very stinky blessing. (dog farts)

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  130. The day you do the last favour for a dearly beloved friend is tied with a million silken threads of love to the day you brought them into your life. It seems hard to make this choice for them out of love, but it's harder still if the choice is made for you by the vagaries of chance.

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  131. I'm so sorry for you all. You did the right thing.

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  132. Omg, crying ugly tears over here for you and the fam today! I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Only time will make it better, but even that wait sucks. Sending loads of love your way. Hang in there!

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  133. I am crying reading this. We put our dog down Aug 1. Had her for 16+ years. It is so true about knowing when it is time and then doing the right thing no matter how hard it is. My husband wants to wait a year before we get another dog but I keep bugging our daughter to let me have her dog for a few hours here and there (when I need some "Puppy Love"). She is getting tired of it. Maybe Santa will bring me a puppy...I am trying to be good. ha ha

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  134. You made me giggle and cry in this wonderfully written post. I feel your pain as we put our 14 year old dog down last year. You just know when you have to help them. I remember the exact moment I knew what I had to do. It is heartbreaking and I am so sorry for your family's loss.

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  135. I read the first few lines of this, and I couldn't read anymore because I just didn't want to go there and start bawling. I have been there. I know your pain. I'm so sorry. It gets easier, but I still miss my dogs terribly, and it's been 4 years.

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  136. My condolences to you and your family. It's obvious you took good care of Lucky and were richly rewarded in return.

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  137. I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember having to put down our dog, Bear, a few years ago and everything you wrote just brought it all back to me.

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  138. No words. Just love for you all.

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  139. I'm so sorry for your loss. We have a 7 year old lab that is the center of my childrens' universe. Dreading the time any decision needs to be made. Those pups really pull at our heart strings, don't they??? Must be all that unconditional love they give.Just as you were fortunate to have Lucky, Lucky was just as fortunate to have you.

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  140. I am so sorry for your loss. Your puppy was so lucky to have you as his human. Have you read "A Dog's Purpose"? It' and its sequel are wonderful books.

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  141. I'm so sorry for your loss. Lucky sounds like an amazing companion and I'm sure it was awful to let him go. Know that he's in a better place, without pain, and that you'll always have those cherished memories.
    Also, like many other commenters, I am moved to tears by your sharing this post. I'm so sorry :(

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  142. I'm sad to hear about Lucky. We always loved hearing funny stories that Ken would have every now and then. He secretly loved him too! I know how empty you feel as we lost our Sydney in July. It's so hard but just cherish those wonderful memories.

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  143. I am really sorry to hear about your loss. My heart breaks for you and your family. I know how hard it is to a lose a family member. Lucky will always live in your hearts. My husband and I lost our dog 2 years ago and we still laugh about some of the things she did. Sending prayers up for you and your family.

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  144. The Art of Racing in the Rain. You will meet Lucky again...

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  145. Oh Beth...My heart just breaks for you and I am sitting here crying as if Lucky were my own. Thank you for sharing Lucky with us throughout the years...I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  146. My heart breaks for you & your family - So sorry for your loss.

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  147. Beth, I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the deep sadness you and your family are going through right now. The goodbye you gave Lucky was lovely! What an amazing ending you gave to such a special guy.

    What has helped me grieve the death of an animal is realizing that they can be with you all the time now. Next time you're out running, know that Lucky is running right by your side, healthy and happy. :)

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  148. Having recently lost our cat, this really hits home. Thank you for sharing this so beautifully. I hope you are able to find some solace and that the pain eases while Lucky's memory remains.

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  149. I'm so sorry, my heart aches for you and your family. It's so hard to lose a member of your family. I'm glad that Lucky got to experience a happy last day and that your family got to say goodbye to him. RIP Lucky

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  150. What a beautiful tribute to Luck. The pictures are great. So sorry for your loss.

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  151. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is absolutely heartbreaking. I had to make that tough decision earlier this year for my cat and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done so I completely understand. Hope you find peace soon.

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  152. My heart hurts for you and your family--you are a brave mother although I know it doesn't feel that way. I cried for you reading how you made his last moments so special.

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  153. Sobbing........

    What a wonderful and loving life Lucky had. He lived up to his name. I'm so sorry.

    From the hugest pet lover on planet earth-
    Kelly in Michigan

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  154. Oh, Beth, I am so sorry. You did right by your pet. You gave him the best.

    Kirstin

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  155. Thinking of you and your family, Lucky truly sounds like a little angle. There are no words to make it better but from all these replies I can see that there is a lot of LOVE. I am holding my sick little pup a bit tighter this morning but I fear that I will be having a day like yours all too soon.

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  156. I'm am so so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is one of the hardest losses in life and reading your post brings back memories of those wonderful animals that brought such joy to my life. You gave Lucky a beautiful last day on this earth. Much strength to you and your famly. RIP Lucky.

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  157. How blessed you were, to have this time with him and such great memories.

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  158. My heart goes out to your family. Pets can be such a huge part of our families. Lucky was truly lucky to be a part of such a wonderful family.

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  159. So very sorry for your loss.
    Put Lucky's things away, but always keep him in your heart.
    Take care.

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  160. Hugs for all of you. You are a good mamma to your kids helping them through this. Lucky is indeed a lucky dog. Rest well Lucky.
    xoxo
    Kim

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  161. I just wept with you... praying for you all! Losing a pet- a friend- a family member... which they are all of those things... hurts! XO

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  162. Your daughter is wise beyond her years. Such big insight from someone small. You should take that as a sign that you as a family are doing things right.
    As for Lucky, he was lucky to find you, and you lucky to find him. I have a jack russell who, at 13, is facing the same issues, as well as heart disease and kidney disease. We know every day is gravy, and I cannot imagine my life without him, but I know that I couldn't imagine allowing him to go on if he weren't relatively healthy or happy. He's a trooper and would hide the pain anyway, as most pack animals would do.
    Thank you for sharing this. You have shared something incredibly personal that allows the reader to be closer to you.

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  163. I am so sorry! I put my dog down 2 years ago. It is the hardest thing to do. I use to be a vet tech, so I've seen so many people go through this, as well. Again, I am sorry!

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  164. You know when it's time, but that does not make it any easier. So very sorry, Beth; pets find a way into the deepest part of our hearts. Every time we lose a pet, a part of me says never again, but I can't imagine a home without one (or two or three). He was a lucky dog to find you, and you were lucky to recognize what he would bring to your lives. ((hugs)) to you and your family.

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  165. I just re-lived the pain of the exam room. Cried like a baby and it was the hardest thing to have to leave that room and leave him behind.
    Sorry for your loss. Darn those pooches for becoming so much a member of the family.

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  166. No amount of words can possibly heal the pain that you are feeling right now. I hope you can feel the support of all your readers today, and as you move forward.

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  167. I am so sorry to hear about Lucky. I know it's the right thing to do, but it still hurts. A big virtual hug to you.

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  168. Feeling your sadness...hang on to those 10 years of wonderful memories. He was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have him and you looked after him right until the end.

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  169. I'll add to the sorries (probably not a word). I, too, have been through this too many times and it never ever gets better or easier. Lots of hugs to your family.

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  170. So very sorry. The fact that I'm crying my eyes out right now shows that the experience of losing a pet is something that stays with you--you find it a "place" tucked in a corner of your heart, so you can go on, but the pain never really goes away. But that's a good thing, in a way, because it shows just how deeply your life was touched by that precious little creature, and what a blessing it is to have that. I could not think of a better last day than the one Lucky spent with you and your family, and not a more beautiful tribute to him than this blog post.

    Hugs to you and your family!

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  171. I'm so sorry about your loss. I trust he's in a better place now and you and your family will find peace in due time. Lucky, thanks for making me laugh and smile at your stories. I hope you can poop and pee freely where you are now.

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  172. Beth, I couldn't read your whole note because I'm at work & It is making me cry! But I did read this part "Emma said it best when she told me, “I would rather for Lucky to be happy right now than for me to be happy right now”." You have raised some very special kids. I am so impressed at how self-less they are. I strive to do the same. I'm very sorry about Lucky. You are a fantastic mom to everyone at your house, and you gave Lucky a wonder life.

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  173. I am so sorry, I am crying with you right now. I have been through this and understand the pain you are going through right now. I think it is wonderful how you made Lucky's last day so perfect.

    Hugs to your whole family.

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  174. I am so sorry for your family's loss. Lucky sounds like one really lucky dog to have been cared for and loved by your family.

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  175. I am so, so sorry for your loss. You are right - it is gut-wrenching. But it was also the most responsible decision you could make on Lucky's behalf. He is so lucky to have had such a wonderful family - one who loved him for who he was, missing leg and eye and all, and who made his last day so very special. I will keep your family, and of course Lucky, in my thoughts.

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  176. I'm so sorry. We had to put my dog to sleep last year so I know the pain you are going through. Lucky sounds like a great dog and you gave him everything he needed.

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  177. I'm crying as I read this post. I am so sorry for your loss. But I am also smiling as I read about all of the awesome things that Lucky got to do on his last day. What a great way to say goodbye to a very lucky dog indeed!

    Thinking of you and your family.

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  178. Beth...anyone that has lost a pet in this same way is crying right with you right now. Tears stung my eyes as I read your post...I knew immediately when I saw it come in my box... It's so hard isn't it...the empty feeling in your home is so hard...everywhere you look...
    I had to pack up all the toys and things and to this day...they are sealed in a box with my poodle's name on it. Hurts so much...
    Makes you wonder where they are...what they are doing right now that they are no longer in your care....
    What a good Mama you are to sweet Lucky...and Lucky knows that and felt your love Beth.....
    Lucky will be waiting for you ...and you will see him one day again....at Rainbow bridge...
    *******
    Everyone is so different after losing a pet...some don't want another to hurt again like that...
    others go right out and get a new little life....
    again...you'll know what is right and best for you and your family...
    *****
    I got another pet in honor of my little dog....I loved her so much that because of her...another pet had a good home too....a legacy of sorts....
    It doesn't take all the pain away...you will always miss your friend....
    I'm so sorry and sending you Big Hugs...

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  179. Sorry, Beth. I had trouble reading this. Frequently, our dogs are our running partners. They'll run with us when no one else will. I can't imagine letting my Sarah go but when her time comes, I hope I am brave to meet it.

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  180. My heart goes out to you and your family. We lost our Lady just over two years ago. They leave such an empty spot in our lives when they go. I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  181. Oh Beth..I am so sorry to read this and for your loss. breaks my heart. My dog Maggie is my first dog, I waited 31 yrs for her and she is now 11 1/2...and I fear the day that I will have to say goodbye. I think what you did for your Lucky is fantastic..to have him have a great last day..full of love...I want to do that for my Maggie when the time comes. Sending you hugs from California.

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  182. I'm so sorry. I don't even have a dog and this made me cry. I can't imagine the loss your family is suffering. I hope you find strength in each other during this tough time. My thoughts are with your family.

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  183. I'm weeping for you. I'm so sorry, Beth. What love you all gave and received.

    Peace and prayers,

    Val

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  184. I'm so sorry for your loss, Beth. We went through this with our first Doberman, Josie. Such a tough decision to make and even harder to follow through with. I know the heartache and emptiness you're feeling. May your upcoming runs give you the opportunity to work through the feelings that go with this. You and your family are in my prayers.

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