Thursday, December 13, 2012

Today I Took a Test

What a day! Sometimes I think the most random things happen to me throughout the day.  I bet if you really thought hard, you would have some too. Here are mine, just from today:

  • I took a a pregnancy test at the doctor (No joke. I was having a symptom that the doctor thought warranted the test. It was negative, of course, which is probably good because I’m not sure I want to be going through menopause the same day my child starts kindergarten).
  • I showed the top of my underwear to the dental hygienist to prove to her it matched my  purse (I didn’t match it on purpose believe it or not).
  • I had a run with a friend that included talk of air flow that only a woman has (rhymes with reef).
  • The guy at the liquor store wasn’t able to get my credit card to swipe, so he licked his finger then rubbed it across the strip on the back (Dude. Seriously. I do not want your spit on my card. Sick). This falls into the category of “people do the weirdest things that freak you out”
  • A total of ten packages arrived at my doorstep. Merry Christmas to me. Too bad none of them were for me. Not one.
  • And, the best news of all – I had no back pain at all today during and after my run. In fact, my back pain has been gone most of the week since I’ve been paying attention to my alignment when I run. As you know, I’ve been doing Chi Running for a few months now, and it has made quite a difference. That was the first place I looked when I wanted tips for how to minimize the back pain. The advice was to make sure I was properly aligned and to not bend at the waist. More info HERE. I think this small adjustment has made a huge difference.

Tell me one odd/funny/awesome thing that happened to you today. I might just send a small care package to the one of you with the best comment.

SUAR

73 comments:

  1. I won an online blog contest and my goodie box arrived today. It was a 12 pack of Cottonelle TP and a box of Cottonelle wet wipes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a sh*tty prize!
      Just kidding .... couldn't help myself!

      Delete
  2. First, I have to say that the credit card thing is disgusting. I would never assume my credit card to be anywhere close to being clean but having the guy at the liquor store put his saliva on it certainly doesn't help. Ick.

    Second, the funniest thing I saw today was when I was pool running at the gym today. I was in the deep end of the pool doing my "running" and there was a group of "seniors" doing a water zumba class in the shallow end. The boob shaking, hip gyrating and butt shaking kept me laughing the entire hour! These women were having the best time and couldn't care less who saw them. It was awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Saw a frozen dildo on the sidewalk on my run this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Speaking of pregnancy tests and going through menopause when one's child is in kindergarten....I am 5 1/2 months pregnant. So *of course* every.single.time I am in public, one or more people feel the need to comment on my body, the gender of my baby, how high or low I am carrying, how big or small I am the list goes on and on. My favorite is when I have our 2 boys (ages 9 and 6 1/2) with me and people feel the need to say, "Oh you must be hoping for, trying for, wishing for your little girl."

    What is it about a pregnant woman that causes so many people to forget about social filters and personal space? Back to my point, today some awesome woman walked by me at the mall and then she stopped to turn around and tell me how beautiful I looked. Made my day (as did this opportunity to vent). Stepping down off my soapbox now.....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Also, the credit card thing is nasty and deserves a great big WTF?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm going to tell you a series of things that happened because I'm too unmotivated to write on my own blog...

    I took my 13-year old son to visit a prospective high school. We got there an hour early because I was afraid of being late (I'm always late). My son was really nervous because of this weird timing...but also happy that we weren't late. In the extra time we had, I took him on a tour of the campus to see "all the dark corners they don't show you in the glossy brochure." We had a blast and he started to loosen up. Then we went back to the meet-up place and were still the only ones there. He started getting really anxious again. Then the admissions guy came over to introduce himself. He noted where my son attends middle school and remarked that he lives in that city..."by REI" which I heard as "IN REI."

    "You live IN REI!!!" I said, loudly and incredulously. My son shrunk down into his chair and turned purple. But...the guy totally went with it...

    "Yeah! There's a blue tent sort of in the middle section...what I like the most about it is they have EVERYTHING I need!" And we all laughed uproariously. And my son had an amazing experience visiting the school. The End.

    Not as awesome as having a negative pregnancy test at this juncture in time, but it was still pretty fun :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. My 5 year old daughter took an egg from our fridge... drew a face on it, made a pair of pants and a blanket out of some scraps of material and then constructed a paper manger complete with hay. She then named him "Eggy".
    What holiday decor is complete without an Eggy in the Manger??

    ReplyDelete
  8. Funny one today: We were putting our mats away on the rack after toning class, and my friend decided to help me by pulling one of the mats out of the way... but instead of grabbing the mat, she grabbed my boob. We got a good laugh about it. Good thing we run together, because once you've experienced pants-peeing, near-poop-experiences, and farts... nothing phases you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This almost made me spit my protein shake all over my computer! So funny:)

      Delete
  9. Ran 3.2 today with less than 3 minutes of walk break (not counting waiting for traffic). I'm super-proud because a) I took about an 18-month hiatus from running and b) I was chatting with a friend while we ran and c) I have NEVER run that far before without running intervals! So now my BRF is trying to get me to train for a 10k...!

    ReplyDelete
  10. My mom and I see the same lady who does our eyebrows and we both had appointments today (we didn't realize this until last night). When I got to my appointment, Cindy said, "by the way, your mom covered your brow wax, so you're good to go!" I was surprised and touched- and appreciative!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I went to the doctor for the umpteenth time for my stress fracture. As I started crying (again), he said "are you crying again?! I PROMISE we will have you out of the boot in two weeks. I can't take this anymore!" Then he told me this "being grounded" from running isn't permanent, and he would have me back on my feet in no time. Best orthopedist ever. And clearly the only one who knows how to deal with me. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Odd: I woke up this morning with intense stomach pains--think Sigourney Weaver in Alien. I was sure I'd hork up a hairball or a dagger or something, and I just prayed that 1) it would go away and 2) I wouldn't end up on the Monsters Inside Me show about parasites and such. Thankfully, the pain finally subsided after about 2-1/2 hours.

    Awesome: And my new Brooks Pure Connects arrived that I won at the Marine Corps expo! They're lovely!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Odd, I guess: I became a cat person. Kind of. I've been taking care of my neighbor's cat, which has involved more puke and diarrhea than I ever want to see again. However, our relationship somehow managed to go from loathing to undying love in about five seconds and I don't really know what happened. I guess that's just what happens when you're single, female, and of a certain age ;).

    ReplyDelete
  14. Totally shut my fat roll in the drawer in my kitchen and almost drew blood. Dang it. Hope Santy Clause leaves me a tummy tuck for Christmas, bc no amount of running, body pump, or jump squats and cardio are doing squat for this stretched out mess. Hahhaa.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Totally shut my fat roll in the drawer in my kitchen and almost drew blood. Dang it. Hope Santy Clause leaves me a tummy tuck for Christmas, bc no amount of running, body pump, or jump squats and cardio are doing squat for this stretched out mess. Hahhaa.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I got nothin. Except, I went to a cookie exchange with some lovely ladies yesterday morning had a great time until as I was leaving one 50'ish woman said she really needed to work on 10 pounds she's holding on to and getting to the gym might help (laugh, self-deprecating) THEN SHE SAID, WHY WOULD I... YOU AND SUSAN WORK OUT ALL THE TIME IT'S NOT WORKING FOR YOU. Wow. Dang. Bubble burst. I think I look pretty good. So there. I almost licked her credit card.

    ReplyDelete
  17. It was my four-year wedding anniversary. Woohoo. We're celebrating Saturday so it was just an ordinary day. Thank goodness, too, because I had beans for lunch and my gift to my husband was farting him into oblivion. I'll make sure not to eat kidney bean curry on Saturday.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Funny--I blogged today about some of the flaky things that happened to me this week. Here's one--ordered a new Title9 dress. It arrived and as I took it out of the package, I realized I already own the same pattern in a skirt.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I had a coworker stop by to pick up a piece of furniture I didn't want, and my husband had just dropped the kids off at the pool. It was obvious. Humiliated!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol!! Been there. My husband can peel wallpaper when he visits the "library".

      Delete
  20. I work as a playground supervisor a couple days a week at my girls' elementary school, and of course have to bundle up. I just washed my heavy winter coat with some other light colored clothes, and put it on over a wooly sweater for my shift. Later, out on the playground, I went to zip my coat up a bit higher when I saw something colored sticking out just above my zipper...I pulled it out, only to find that my thong underwear (yes, I run in thongs to avoid VPL) hanging out on chest. I felt like a total creeper working the rest of my shift around young kids, with thong undies stowed away in my pocket!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK that image made me laugh out loud. Is it lame I had to look up what VPL meant?

      Delete
    2. I was wondering the same thing

      Delete
    3. HA!! At a yoga class once, a friend whose mat was set up next to mine unfolded her YogiToes towel to spread out on her mat and a pair of thong underwear was clinging to it. We got quite a laugh out of that!

      Delete
    4. Mmm, I sat in church once and when I crossed my legs I discovered something peeking out of the bottom of my pantleg. yep. Clean lace thong underwear. I guess I need better Downy. I discreetly managed to dislodge it and slip it into my purse. Then texted my mother to give her a giggle. My husband said I was going to hell for texting in church, but I told him God would appreciate that story, too.

      Delete
    5. Last week I was checking out at the grocery store and the boy bagging my groceries in the reusable bags that I always bring, pulls out a kitty litter pooper scooper (what else do you call those things because I'm sure there's a better name). While travelling the weekend before, my husband had packed up all the cats things (food, toys, ect) and used that bag.

      It was awkward... I giggle strangely, blame it on the husband and BOLT!

      Delete
  21. I woke up with a swollen left hand! Reason: Unknown. Odd.

    ReplyDelete
  22. The awkward moment when, in order to find the infamous little key pocket, you have to drop your running shorts in the parking area across the street from the very popular town coffee shop in the early of morning and a woman pulls up next to you while you and your friend are searching the seams of said shorts and when the stranger gets out of her car says "what on earth are you doing???"

    ReplyDelete
  23. I think stomach bug season is upon us. My daughter came home and said "A kept throwing up in the classroom toilet, then went home." I asked her where A sat, of course right next to my kid. Time to break out the clorox wipes.

    ReplyDelete
  24. We had awesome news today--we are in the process of adopting from our state's waiting children program. After 3+ years we have our match, his team told him the news and he is excited to live with us! Our first offical visit is this weekend and hope to get a run in to work out the nervous energy.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Chi Running has saved my running career, too. Enjoy your pain free run!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ha! The underwear episode sounds like something I'd do. I love Chi Running. It feels so much easier than the way I used to run.
    Also, I am now going home and washing all my credit cards.

    ReplyDelete
  27. My 11 y.o. son told me he would never buy a used car because you have NO IDEA how many times someone has farted in the driver's seat! He obviously has given this much thought.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Replies
    1. I will say it swiped after he put his spit on it. But, I'm not willing to give the credit to the spit.

      Delete
  29. Thanks for the tip on the Chi running - got my hammie/but pain back.

    ReplyDelete
  30. This didn't happen yesterday but it did earlier this year and the underwear story just reminded me of it. We had a high school girl as a nanny/sitter this summer for the kids. At the end of the summer we went over to her house to give her a thank you gift. After we had given her the gift, she said she had to ask us something.

    She asked if my husband was missing and boxer brief underwear. Her mom was doing laundry and found a pair of men's boxers in her (the sitters) stuff. Proceeded to freak out that it was some boy that she had over. But it turns out they were indeed from our house. Somehow when she had dropped her field hockey stuff in our laundry room they got mixed in with her stuff and she brought it home.

    And they are actually my boxer briefs. I wear my husbands that don't fit him to bed....

    All around a crazy story.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yesterday on my run, the railroad crossing arms were down and the lights were on. After several minutes and no sign of a train, a few of my running buddies decided to cross the tracks. I'm paranoid and figured I'd be the person to have a shoe get caught or slip and get killed by the train. Then, the last memory people would have of me was that I was an idiot who didn't obey the RR crossing arms.

    So, I added a mile to my run to go the long way around and not risk it. Thankfully, two others decided to go with me and even slowed their pace for me. I love good friends who love you even though they know you're a little (or a lot) nuts.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I've had a whole bunch of odd things happen - but they're mostly in my head. For example, I tried to sync a book I was reading on my Kindle app on my phone. It was only when I couldn't find it on my list that I realized I was reading a hard copy. :headdesk: (The Gift by Cecilia Ahern - recommend).

    And my 3-year-old is learning the Rudolph song - complete with those annoying elementary school additions ("Like a lightbulb!", etc.). At the end, she sings "You'll go down in his-tor-ee, Like George Squashington!" Cracks me up every.single.time. She also doesn't believe in "his" and "hers". It's "his" and "shiz". I can't quite bring myself to correct her.

    ReplyDelete
  33. In planning to go see Santa on Saturday (think fancy hotel, breakfast buffet, fabulous desserts, people dressed to the nines) I asked my 8 year old what he thought of the dress I was planning on wearing (think sweater, dark green, below the knee, brown leather belt and brown boots). He told me that only street walkers would wear something like that. More than a little horrified, I asked him what a street walker was and he said, "you know mom, the old ladies that take laps around the block every morning." I almost peed my pants when I realized we were so not on the same page!!! And it made me love him even more for his innocent view of the world!
    Amy P. Philly runner

    ReplyDelete
  34. I listened as a mother of a student cussed her daughter out over the phone. The little girl hung up the phone and burst into tears. All the student wanted to do was let her mother know of the concert today. Not funny, not odd, and I don't want the present. But it sure would be cool if the little girl got the gift!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Awesome today - it was 38 degrees out when I got up, clear and calm. We don't get many days like that here in So Cal, so I enjoyed every mile!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Last night we came home to a half eaten pillow and lots of white fluff all over the floor. This morning my husband was laughing at me because he could hear me in the living room having a serious talk with our dog "this is your fault (as I pointed to the missing pillow), we can't have nice things because of you, quit giving me that look, I know you aren't sorry, are you going to behave for dad today?" Then she just took off running out of her doggy door into the rain, which I'm sure she was going to track back in as soon as I left!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. On the bus this morning, I saw what was probably a 90 year old lady with Beats by Dre headphones.

    The bad: I was getting off, saw her at the last minute, so I couldn't get a picture.
    The good: It MADE MY DAY.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Not "funny" but really sweet! I was leaving work and i was paying for my transit ticket and was a dime short. The kid (teenager) beind me piped up and said oh let me pay. SWEET KID!!! honestly so nice when someone does that.
    So now I have to pay it forward....

    ReplyDelete
  39. I've learned to not give the Costco people my personal debit card. It won't work no matter what they do. And some of the things they tried are right up there with the licking the finger thing. One clerk essentially pretended that the card was a pair of glasses, going "HAH" to fog it up, and then wiping the stripe on her shirt tail a few times. Oddly enough, the business card, from the very same bank, works just fine.
    The funny odd interesting thing wasn't today, but I lead a boring life. The elevators at work have mirrors. Most use them for a quick check, and maybe a tug at hair, tie, jewellry, or such. One woman had her hand down her shirt front, playing with her bra. There were several of us in the elevator, and let me tell you the conversation totally stopped.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Yesterday, while driving, I saw a cat on the sidewalk at the busiest intersection in our area. When the light turned red and all the traffic stopped, the cat darted across the road using the crosswalk.

    Then at the very busy beach where i run (i live in hawaii) I saw a middle aged tourist man who was a bit shall we say 'fluffy' wearing a speedo with a button down dress shirt TUCKED INto the speedo!! AND another man not wearing a bathing suit but TWO pairs of tighty whitey (well actually a bit more saggy whitey) underwear which despite the extra layers was still see through! LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
  41. I love following your blog! Keep up the great work!!

    I have nominated you for a Liebster Award. http://operationdetermination.blogspot.com/2012/12/liebster-award-nomination.html

    ReplyDelete
  42. Ha ha. Menopause and kindergarten. Hey, that's MY life!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Not today but late last night...does that count? My son lost his tooth. He decided the tooth fairy must get bored at her job, so he wrote a series of clues leading to the tooth. He wouldn't tell any of us where the tooth was hidden. He only let me see the first clue in his tooth box. It took my 40 minutes of searching to find the next clue, which was inside an upside down paper cup on top of a bottle of mouthwash. I found the other clues inside a book about Star Wars lego minifigures, inside the foosball table, and on the toilet seat. Thankfully, the tooth itself was on the windowsill of his room, and not buried at the bottom of a bin about 2,000 legos. Then I discovered all I had in my purse was a $20 bill. So he got a bunch of coins. That's what he gets for making the tooth fairy search for the tooth for an hour.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Got a text from the hubs asking if I wanted to watch an adult movie tonight... When I didn't respond for awhile he said or we could watch Ted.

    ReplyDelete
  45. My day was spent with on of my BF's, we celebrated her turning 40, but asking a great yoga class, then having lunch at this amazing crepe place called Gaia on pearl street and had our nails done. Fabulous fun woman time. At pick up for my kids I found out they were on lock down, because of the incident in CT. BAM, crashed back to reality.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I was talking to one of the mangers I work with this morning, so tired and ready for vacation to be here. We have so many things we have to get done and I just felt overwhelmed. In my head I was thinking of saying something like "Stick a fork in me, I'm done." When I opened my mouth, it came out more like "Roll me over when you're done." By the time I realized the second meaning of what I'd said, I was so mortified. Fortunately, said manager was dying laughing. Also fortunately, we all telecommute so I don't have to worry about him ever taking me up on that offer...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hah!!!!!!! Roll me over. Dying laughing!

      Delete
  47. Ok, I have a crazy question and I really believe this is the one place I can ask it and it won't seem completely insane...Are you supposed to wear underwear under running tights? (I'm a guy, which mostly explains why I have no idea). Let the mockery begin!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good question. I would say different for guys and girls. Girls no. Guys yes. You all need support in a way we don't. I know my husband wears those tighter boxer short sport things.

      Delete
    2. My husband wears Under Armour compression shorts under his tights and shorts. No VPL's for him!

      Delete
    3. Yeah I think that's what Ken wears too. Keeps everything in place.

      Delete
    4. Most mens underwear is cotton. Wear that under running tights and you're going to regret it. I don't wear underwear under running tights and have never had a problem.

      Delete
    5. Thanks everyone. I have those compression shorts as well. It seemed like the right thing to do :-)

      Delete
  48. That is super sick about your credit card. He should have just put it in plastic and then swiped it. Less germy. I hope you cloroxed that bad boy afterwards (I mean both the cashier and your credit card)

    ReplyDelete
  49. I had a similar scare a couple years ago with the pregnancy thing - umm...I love my kids but I'm way to old to start again!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Dude! I love ya! and your blog. But don't you think you are the pot calling the kettle black with your "This falls into the category of “people do the weirdest things that freak you out”" comment when YOU are talking about queefs and farts and fart pads!?? LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dude!! I never said I wasn't included in that statement I made. Maybe I should have said "people, including me, do the weirdest things" but I thought that went without saying. Not like I don't make fun of myself all the time for doing odd crap.

      Delete
  51. I am still a lame duck with a broken cooter muscle. Not sure when this will heal. I am about to start eating peoples' babies if I dont start running soon. :-(

    ReplyDelete