Friday, December 11, 2009

Keeping Up With the Times

Nothing surprises me anymore in this world of craziness. Boys in balloons over Colorado (or not). The new Hollywood Cookie Diet. A man who would cheat on this (Elin Nordegren aka wife of Tiger):

I'm not a lesbian, but even I wouldn't cheat on that.

So, I guess I should not have been startled when my hair stylist, Jessica, told me about a new service they are offering at the salon. A Brazilian wax? No. A happy ending? No. Hair extensions made from a lion's mane? No.

Do you know what this means?

And if you do, do you know what these shapes are for?

Seriously. And don't forget the "Betty colors." Green, red, orange. I think you get the picture. Waxing, shaping and coloring areas that probably aren't naturally meant to be waxed, shaped and colored. If you want that holiday gift for that special someone who has everything - well, I guarantee he doesn't have this.

Funny thing is, I live in Longmont, CO. Not exactly the hub for trendiness or sexiness. We are basically a glorified cow town over here. We have 103 churches for 80,000 people if that tells you anything (or nothing). But clearly, Longmont is getting an overhaul. Waxing, shaping and coloring for all!

What does this have to do with running? Absolutely nothing. Except for the fact that the lightening bolt might make someone feel like they can run faster. Usain Bolt and all that.

I know. This is a crude post. I just couldn't resist. Please don't be offended. We all just need to keep up with the times. And no, I will not be partaking.


  1. This post made me laugh! Thanks for the much needed chuckle :)

  2. What IS this world coming to? I guess it takes all kinds.

    I can barely make time to shave my legs and I haven't made time to cut my hair in over 2 years! Who has time for this stuff.

    It was a funny post. I just wish it wasn't a real service.

  3. LMAO!!!! Ok admittedly once a long time ago, like 6 years ago I attempted to shape a "T" for my ex boyfriend. It ended disasterously and I've never ventured there again.

  4. I would like to know what kind of murderous act in a previous life gets you a job title of "Betty Waxer" (who also happens to fret over your vajayjay zone because that "bow tie" looks more like a propeller) and then has to color your muff GREEN.
    This is just sad. I hope you start seeing a new hair stylist ... in a different area of town ... possibly one who looks like Beaver's mom, just to be safe.

  5. Hahaha Rachael said BEAVER!!! I couldn't resist!
    This is hilarious! Thank you! And keep the crude stuff coming.
    Infact, I have a holiday Tiger joke for you...
    "What does Santa and Tiger have in common?"
    "Santa keeps his HO's to three!"
    Hahahaha! Have an awesome weekend! :)

  6. Good lord, I wouldn't cheat on that either! Tigers an effing idiot....seriously.

    I actually looked at the Longmont Tri, but I will be in Missouri for my sister's wedding that weekend. I thought about doing the one either in Boulder or the one at Cherry Creek Resevoir. Have you thought of any others?

  7. if it would guarentee a BQ, would you THEN partake??? :p

  8. Now THAT is funny. Crude? Oh dear no.

    Now if your hubby got you a running t (bright orange perhaps) that said "THE BOLT" it would have a whole new (special) meaning..

    Even more so if you're name was Betty.. You could be "Bolting Betty".

    okay okay.. I"ll stop.

  9. The dollar sign. Definitely, definitely the dollar sign.

  10. LMAO! A lightning bolt??? HAHAHAHAHA!

  11. Who is the Betty you speak of? Obviously, I am old (school). I thought Betty was slang for a hottie. As in "Check out those Bettys" or "She is one awesome Shred Betty (snow boarding hottie)."

  12. Mistresses never look as good as wives - unless they're other men's wives, I guess. Bet Elin isn't bettyliciously shaved, but TW mistress #13 looks like she could have the entire constitution written there.

  13. that is too funny! i just got my legs waxed the other day and will do the other area but i'm not pimping out my privates any time soon!

  14. Ha ha ha, this is the first post of yours I have read and I'll be adding you to my blogroll. Too funny.

  15. Just a thought: the worst possible name for a porn star would be Betty Stubble.

  16. Im not a lesbian either but could you blame me if I cheated with that?

  17. This is the funniest thing I've heard all weekend!! Seriously, who's bright idea was that??

  18. WHAT???

    No, really, WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    bahahahahahahahahahaha. What next?!