Saturday, May 29, 2010

Hard to Hold It In

This morning’s five mile run sucked the big one. I could get all wigged out and decide I have become an out of shape and sluggish loser since my marathon three weeks ago, but I prefer to blame it on:

  • No breakfast
  • Pretzels, cheese and crackers for dinner last night along with two glasses of wine (Friday night partay while watching the Bachelorette!)
  • Hot weather. I have become a wimp. I learned in my training class that 55 degrees is the optimal running temperature. Warmer than that and your performance degrades. Even if you are running in 35 degree weather, your performance is hindered due to the energy being used to keep your body warm. Anyway, I am a wimp in the heat.
  • I had to poop the whole way. This is what I hate. I try to go before I run. Nothing. No urge even. I run maybe a half mile (too far from the house to turn around) and a turd is honking. Dammit. So what’s the game plan? Hold it in? Climb under the bridge? Pinch one off in the shorts? I held it. But it bugged me the ENTIRE way, as in I couldn’t think of anything else but sitting on the pot.

Some runs are just like that right?

Speaking of the running coaches' certification training…one cool fun fact is that Deena Kastor’s husband, Andrew, was in our class.  He is already a running coach in Mammoth. He’s also Deena’s physical therapist. I sat by him on the first day. I tried to breathe in his aura so maybe I will become faster. Deena and I have a lot in common. We both had cuboid stress fractures. I guess the commonalities end there.

I learned a ton. It was 18 hours long, so it’s impossible to cover too much on this blog. Probably the most informative parts were about fueling and taking care of oneself in order so stay uninjured and to race well. This includes lots of rest, stretching, proper nutrition. Duh. It also includes lots and lots of running at slow paces. I realize that I have not respected the long run as much as I should have. I have been running too fast. Apparently you should feel really good and hungry after you run and not like you’re going to puke and die. The idea is to use the long runs to help your body build a strong base for when you do race. The point is not to go out and kill yourself.

Another interesting tidbit is that the long run doesn't need to be as long as your race, but should simulate the amount of time you will spend on your feet during the race. So, if you are running a half marathon and plan to do it in two hours, your longest run should take you two hours, but should be at a slower pace than race pace. So, you are running a shorter distance, but are out there for the same amount of time. Makes sense, right?

So, now if I could just pass the freaking 100 question test, I’ll be good to go. There wasn't nearly enough emphasis on crapping during runs. If the test was on that, I would pass with flying colors.

The big Bolder Boulder 10K (50,000 runners) is Monday. The whole family is partaking. I am torn if I should: 1) race it (I haven’t raced a 10K. They put me in a wave based on my last 5K time which estimates a 47:30 finish – yeah, right) or 2) run it with Sam and help him get close to 55 minutes (his goal) and make sure he’s not abducted or crushed by the crowd. What should I do??? I know which one would be more fun. Not running it in 47 minutes. In any event, I’ll have my eye out for Shana, Half Fast and his main squeeze, Candice, who will all be there!

Finally, here’s a funny story. Emma (9) and I were watching the Bachelorette last night. One of the guys told the Bachelorette that he got the nickname “Shooter” in college because he prematurely…well, you know (nice first impression conversation, right?) Emma asked me what was going on. I said I didn’t know, because I’m not about to go into that with my 9 year old, plus I’ve never prematurely ejaculated so I don’t know what it’s like. She said, “I think he shot someone.” Well, kind of.


  1. Hands it with your boy...and hang back and watch him finish...nothing like it.

  2. Sorry about your run today! I had a crudy run today too! Blah!

    Good luck on Monday! I would totally run the race with your husband. I thought about running it for about 2 sec. until I realized how many people would be running it! Just don't get trampled!

    Ha ha..that story about the bach. is hilarious! :)

  3. I think you should run with the kid too! That would be really fun!
    I love to hear about what you learned in training!
    It makes sense to me to run the same time that you will be out there and not the same speed!
    I have some irritating bowel stuff going on. Really frustrating. BOOOOO on that!

  4. I think you should run with sam. Your muscles are still torn up. Why risk injury? Your not in 10k shape. Good tips - especially the one about time on your feet. Makes perfect sense.

    I'm not watching bachelorett this season. Ali is the kind of bitch I want to punch in the face. You know the haters who are so worried about other what other girls are doing instead of just minding thier own business. She was not cool. That is funny about your daughter. Awwwwkward.

  5. Just play it by ear, see how you feel:)

  6. I think you should run it with Sam. You did just run a marathon and still are in recovery mode. It might be more fun to run it with him, too.

  7. haha funny story with emma! talk about awkward. i'm jealous of the certification training. well maybe not the 18 hours but all the info that you got!

    and i say run with sam. it'll be fun and a memory that he'll remember

  8. Just run for fun and enjoy it. You don't always have the whole family running a race together. So, just spend time with the family and create some happy poopy memories.

    Thanks for the poop humor. It's a relief from my kinda crappy day.

  9. Good luck on MOnday! I vote you run together. When he reaches his goal, you can claim credit.

  10. Interesting stuff about longs runs.

    I also vote for running with Sam - family always makes for good memories!

  11. I vote you run with Sam! (You may get a chance to embarass him and parents love that, right? :))
    I definitely run my long runs too fast. I'm working on that and nutrition. I've already started the daily stretching thing. Thanks for sharing what you've learned. Good luck on the exam!!!

  12. Run for fun with Sam! Easy, easy, choice, for all the reasons so nicely outlined above.

    If I were to have a running coach, I would certainly want one who knows ALL ABOUT crapping while running, or the avoidance thereof. Seriously, when I meet another runner, I always have to bite my tongue to keep from blurting "What do you do about all the shitting?!?" within the first 5 seconds.

  13. HA HA HA. You should've said, well, he was TRYING to shoot someone...

  14. Oh that's fantastic!

    You're 3 weeks post marathon--those crappy runs are gonna happen (really, not a pun there). Recovery can take so long sometimes. I say kick back and enjoy the race, don't try to run for time.

  15. Well, if 55 degrees is optimal then I'm screwed for the next 6 months - I ran at 7:30 this morning and it was already 80 - and YES, it was tough. Thanks for the tip about the long run - I am going to do my first half in November and am just getting into training for it...need all the advice I can get!

  16. I would run with Sam :) Running with my dad is by far my favorite kind of race!

  17. I've read that before about the long runs and not running them at your planned race pace. But I just don't understand. For instance, if you hope to finish a HM in 2:15, how can you possibly expect to do that if you haven't trained your body to maintain that pace over a long run? If I've only trained myself to run 10 or 11 miles in 2:15, what makes me think that come race day I'll be able to increase my pace by enough to finish 13.1 in 2:15? I just can't wrap my head around the concept...

  18. kill me.
    Run with Sam...sounds like fun and not every race has to be a goal race.

  19. poor, poor shooter. "Hey, I'll never be able to satisfy you in bed, wanna get married?"

  20. I vote with same. I've heard that race is a zoo anyway.

    LOL - shooter. Well played....well played....

  21. You just described most of my runs for the last 2 weeks. I kept asking myself 'how the f- did I run a marathon??'

    I'm finally feeling more normal again... maybe because I stopped enjoying wine and cheetose every night. hmmm...

    the heat sucks.

  22. i had to poop on my run on friday too.... your the only person i'll ever admit to that though. i bet you felt better once you got home! HAHAHA

  23. "A turd honking..." that's the best I've ever heard it described, and boy have I ever been there! It's like running just shakes it right out of you until it's hard to hold off!

  24. You will make such a great running coach. I wish I lived out there so I could hire you!

    That tip about time spent running vs distance is really helpful. Ah... stretching. I need help with this.