Thursday, February 6, 2014

Why I Love the Treadmill So Much It Hurts

I’m sitting here with my coffee eating this:

IMAG2651

Isn’t anything called “Active Lifestyle” for grandmas? Well I’m not a grandma yet (not that I know of), but I do love this oatmeal. I might add some Metamucil to it so I can really be grandma-ish.

The only thing that made me laugh this morning was reading Remy’s World about Treadmill Myths. My favorite one is:

If you have sex on a moving treadmill, you can’t get pregnant: MYTH. You can, and probably will. Trust me on this one.

How would it even be possible to have sex on a moving treadmill? Maybe I am just not adventurous enough.

Yesterday Joie and I had a 6 mile run planned. I was headed out the door to her house when I got this text:

image

We went out anyway. After an hour in that arctic hell, my hands didn’t work. My mouth was so frozen I could not form words (not even “this shit sucks”), and joints I did not even know I had hurt.

unlessitscold

So, no, I am not going out in that again today for my 9 mile run. Which means only one thing: Treadmill. I will not call it the “dreadmill” because apparently that is very uncool. I have spent way too much time on that thing this winter. Marathon training in January/February is icky, for lack of a better word. Am I being a whiny baby? Yes. Do I care? No.

In an effort to turn around my attitude, here is why I am excited to get on the treadmill.

  • I might get a treadmill high
  • I can wear shorts and will be warm.
  • I can catch up on the news/tv shows.  This is also called being a treadmill potato.
  • I can smell someone’s sweat/farts other than my own.
  • I can watch myself in the mirror because I look really *hot* while I’m running.
  • I can listen to the boys in the weight room dropping 4,000 pound weights and grunting. So attractive!
  • I can hop off and in and instant be in a warm bathroom stall if needed. And, it will be needed.

I have tried really hard, and this is all I can come up with. So, off I go!

Give me one reason you love the treadmill. Just try.

SUAR

75 comments:

  1. Based on "ZERO" comments - I'd say there aren't any good reasons! LOL

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  2. Well, like Metamucil, it's there if you need it. It's not fun, but it (constipation, -12 weather...) happens.

    That's all I got!

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  3. I've avoided the dreadmill (I've never been cool, so I can call it whatever I want) for most of my short running life, but an achilles injury has forced me to slow my roll and ease my way back in. It's slight bounce and perfectly flat conditions are the obvious reasons I'm using it to slowly get my foot back. But the fact that I can't accidently run too fast is the part that I've really appreciated. It makes me run slower. I'll be on the POS again later today. 6 months ago, I couldn't make myself run on the damn thing for more than 30 minutes. Now that I've been forced to use it, I'm annoyed by it's 60 minute time limit. Perspective is elastic.

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  4. I can sing as loud as I want and the only one who can hear me is the dog. Oh..and the view is excellent--of my neighbor's house!

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  5. Do you find it difficult to get back on the treadmill after stopping for a bathroom break (happens frequently for me too)? Any tips on how to get back into it?

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  6. that's the spirit! i hate the treadill too but sometimes you gotta do it.

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  7. I love that I can still get a run in on cold, rainy, short winter days, which are plentiful in Oregon. That being said, the thing I hate most about the treadmill is sweating buckets. My ideal running temp range is 35-50°. The gym is too hot.

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  8. I don't hate it at all!!! I get so into it sometimes. I love watching TV or sprinting to my music. YAY TREADMILL! My latest blog posts talks about my treadmill workout yesterday in the midst of an ice storm.

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  9. The last bullet point (having a bathroom nearby) pretty much sums up why I like the treadmill. Also, it makes speedwork easier, but the bathroom thing is def the #1.

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  10. I am SO with you - this winter has been BRUTAL. I had a date with the 'mill this morning and I hated every second of it.

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  11. I recently became a single mom...I've alway hated the treadmill. UNTIL now it's the only form of training I can do except on the weekends when my mom can watch the kids for a bit. I have found a new love for the Treadmill, yea it sucked at first but it keeps me moving forward...keeps me strong....I have no excuses. I still do what I enjoy and I do most of my long long runs on the weekend. Just be thankful for the times you can run outside by yourself or with friends...and when you can't be thankful like I am to be able to still do what you love even when the situation isn't the best! You are such an inspiration to me! Thank you for all of your hilarious encouragement!

    Running in Texas,
    Jenny

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  12. I have logged so many miles on the treadmill this winter that I almost hug it now. Or not. I do like that I can detach myself in different ways than I can outside. On the mill, I'm focused on the next interval (5 minutes, half mile) and only that. Outside, I have my thoughts and sometimes I don't like them.

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  13. I love it because I can laugh watching Seinfeld while I run :)
    BTW - my butt just got treadmill burn thinking of that comment :) haha!

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  14. I've got two very good reasons why I enjoy the treadmill. 1. It's safer. I use my lunch breaks to run and don't have friends in the middle of the day that are willing to sweat it out and then return to their office. So rather than run outside by myself, I hit the treadmill at work. 2. I can read! I love to take my Kindle in there with me and get my read on while I'm running. 3. (I guess I thought of another) The air quality here in SLC has been pretty bad, so running inside clears some of the gunk out. And I don't hack a lung when I'm done.

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  15. Instant access to the bathroom. That would be my #1. :) This is the first time in my life that I am experiencing a Mid West and this is all new to me, luckily I love running in the snow but it is so cold too that it hurts! So yes, treadmill has become a much love/hated piece of equipment. :-)

    Maria @ The Good Life

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  16. The only reason I like it is that I can watch whatever I want (as long as it's on Netflix or amazon). I've been watching Hot in Cleveland (sidenote: Comedy + treadmill = occasionally being shot off the back due to laughing).

    Also, I can run in shorts and a sports bra and no one will point and laugh!

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  17. saw someone prancercizing on a treadmill last night at the gym. I kid you not. go just to see if there is someone at your gym doing it.

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  18. If you want to know how to have sex on a treadmill, go ask a 15 or 16 year old boy. He'll know, or will know someone who knows, and is certainly willing to give it a try. Video that and you have the makings of the next internet viral video. What's that you say? Sam? Sam who?

    The only reason I have to love the treadmill is the hysterical videos of people falling off them. But that won't be you, will it? I hope not.

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    Replies
    1. I have fallen off before...but it wasn't caught on tape. Too bad. I probably could have made a lot of $.

      Yes, true. teenage boys will do that deed anywhere.

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  19. The only thing I like about the treadmill is the entertainment value of the people watching at Globo-gym. I'm hitting the treadmill after work for my last run before my half on Sunday. Good for you, Beth, for going outside in the artic tundra that is Colorado (and most of the country) right now. I hope you've defrosted. :-)

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  20. I love my treadmill. LOVE it. Why? Because I'm a GA girl living in CO.

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  21. I like it because I get to watch my Netflix while I run on the dreamill. Can't really do that while I'm running the trails :)

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  22. Fortunately for me, my treadmill is located on my lanai and not in a gym, because my absolute favorite reason for running on it (and really the only reason I like it) is because I do not have to worry about who's behind me! Hello, Morning fart sessions, party of one....

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  23. Lol.....just finished 9 miles (tempo treadmill) at the gym. I like the handy snack and drink holders, kind of like a kids car seat.

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  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  25. It is a lot easier to love the treadmill these days… the ones at my gym have cable TV installed so I can watch just about anything I want, charge my iPhone, etc… I don't LOVE it but I Love it more than running on ice, snow or below 30 degrees. Great write up.

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  26. i have a dreadmill in my basement and can and will find any reason to run outside instead. i also will run on an indoor track instead of the dreadmill in my basement... the track is about a 30 min. drive from my house. i'm driving there tonight after work in fact. the longest i've managed to run on our treadmill is 7 miles. i had to take breaks every 3 miles. it was awful! i cannot wait until spring!

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  27. I actually really do love my treadmill - and especially in the winter!! Mostly because I can run and watch things like The Bachelor and Dance Moms guilt free!!!

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  28. I can race the person next to me without them knowing.

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    1. I do the same thing! I find the fastest person in the gym, except for our marathon man, who's on it two hours a day, and weighs like 80 lbs at 6'2". I try to race as many people as I can. If there's no fast runners, I find a three 'mill open space, and jump in the middle. No matter how slow I am going, it looks like I am going fast!

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  29. I like that it completely deBUNKs someone's excuse for not running because of weather... if you REALLY don't want to run outside because of x, y, or z you can run on a treadmill.... if you say you can't because you hate the treadmill then you really didn't want to run anyways.

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  30. I would much rather run outside, but it has helped me enormously with maintaining a consistent pace - when I first started running I was all over the place with my pacing, but I've noticed I've gotten much better with my pace in races since I've starting using the treadmill more often.

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  31. Right there with you -- training for LA, living in Boulder County, struggling with every single long run having its miserable weather conditions. After a hill sesh on the treadmill on Tuesday, I took it outside today and broke my "rule" of not going out when it's below zero. Besides being completely covered in frost when I got home, it still beat the hell out of being a gerbil. But sometimes you just have to stay inside. Here's hoping we get some good weather for our last long runs, eh? Fingers crossed. I need one that doesn't entail triple layers, frozen hands opening Gus, water bottles frozen solid, dicey footing and lots of whining (me).

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    Replies
    1. It just helps to know someone is in the same boat!!

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  32. I love the treadmill because... um.... I used to love the treadmill. Ran on it 3 days a week when I first started running. 2 years later, I never get on one anymore. But they have their uses!

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  33. That was a crap treadmill writeup. Because DREADMILL is the best word ever.

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    1. Another good reason to get on the treadmill in winter -- one of my friends is now unable to run due to a broken rib acquired on an icy trail. Treadmills are for smart people ...

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  34. You can bribe a friend to run on the one next to you and then talk really loudly to one another like you do when you're outside. Everyone else in the club will really appreciate it :-)

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  35. I'm totally a treadmill potato. I'm almost done with watching all of Breaking Bad on it.

    I love doing speedwork on the treadmill. It pushes me to go faster and stay there when my body naturally signals to slow down cuz it's lazy.

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    1. Breaking bad on the tready. One of the only things that make it bearable...we are true treadmill potato!

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  36. I am a freak of nature and enjoy the treadmill...then again EMZ kills it on the mill so maybe I'm not that freakish. I have not yet tried moving treadmill sex, guess I better tell hubs what's on tap for Valentines

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  37. I like the treadmill because I can watch TV while I run!!

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  38. When I am on the treadmill , my kids know where I am, I can do the laundry, and I can catch up all the shows I DVRed.

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  39. The temperatures here are crazy as well! I love the treadmill and honestly most of the time look forward to running on it!

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  40. I am thrilled to see so many other treadmill lovers!

    I LOVE my treadmill, have run primarily on one for years.

    Why do I love it? Here are a FEW reasons…..I can stop for restroom breaks if needed, the weather is irrelevant, the time of day is irrelevant (except to my husband who has to hear the mill!), I can listen to podcasts, I can watch TV/DVD (rarely), I can really zone out. If I happen to run out of water/gel, no problem. I don't have to worry about cars, people walking around (is that person following me, what should I do), dogs on leashes or not, cracks in the sidewalk, bricks, tree roots, ice. It's easier on my joints, my pace is more controllable, I can do better and more accurate speedwork.

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  41. I dislike the treadmill.. but its a saving grace. I really appreciate having it available :)

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  42. I hate the treadmill, but this year, I've been really enjoying doing some speed workouts on it! I actually just started doing speed training, and it's making the treadmill MUCH funner! (yes, funner IS a word. in my world).

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  43. I love the treadmill. I get an hour of reading done every morning while running.

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  44. Have "fun" on the treadmill - I can't stand it either! My dad suggested running on one at the gym instead of going outside and he got a major stink eye ;)

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  45. People watching. Oh...the people watching! I make up life stories for them. It keeps me going. I have 8 miles on the treadmill tomorrow. F**kin' snow!

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  46. You rock! Was -22 here in NW MT this am. What do you wear to keep from freezing?

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    1. Not easy! Wool socks, handwarmers, layers, face cover (the only thing showing is a small slice of my forehead). And even then I'm just not that warm. I think when it's -10 or colder getting warm just does not happen for me.

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    2. I don't run outside under 50 degrees! I am so spoiled by the treadmill. It makes me work a little harder too, when my muscles are warm, I push.
      Amy P. Philly Runner.

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    3. Yep, for sure once it hits -10 it's all downhill from there. What is another degree colder at that point. I am so ready for spring.

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  47. Your Text w/Joie...love running friends, they are the best!

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  48. I can count how many people are inaccurately (optimistically) estimating the appropriate treadmill pace for themselves. And I'll be nearby in case they crash off the back...which, given the awkward huge strides they are taking, and the desperation with which they're holding onto the side rails, is quite likely to happen...

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  49. I will tell you one POSITIVE thing about the treadmill. While on the treadmill, I know I will never slip on ice, get struck by lightening, be hit by a branch from a tree.... You can probably gather I only treadmill run in inclement weather. :)

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  50. bwahahaha! awesome! I love being a treadmill potato!

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  51. Hate the treadmill, but it is often a necessary evil when you live in North Dakota where the windchill is sometimes -70 (yes, that's a negative, and yes that actually happens, and NO you can't run in that. Or at least I can't.)
    The silver lining is that when I hop on the treadmill at the gym I can partake in my favorite hobby of people-watching! Unfortunately, all those people are also people-watching.....which means I have to suck in the gut and pack the girls down so they don't bounce too much.

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    1. My brother moved to Minot in August. I am questioning his sanity.

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    2. Minot....I too question his sanity ;-)

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  52. The only good thing is that you can still run when it is shitty out. I haven't run outside since November because I am a big pussy and Chicago weather really sucks butt right now. I have a 10 miler to run today and thank God my husband put a tv in the basement for me!!! I try to zone out to The Tudors or the latest food industry documentary. When the temps get back in the 30's and my running path is clear I will go back outside. Which I hope is soon cuz' I have a half marathon in 5 weeks!!!

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  53. I love the treadmill! She can make me go faster when I think I can not, just tap the speed every song or so, it'd only 0.1 mph (x10 times). I get to wear awesome warm weather running clothes! No frozen snot on my face or eyelashes. Toilets and water fountains close by, open 24/7, no cars to worry about or creepy sex offenders dragging me off into the woods.

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  54. I live in upstate NY, ran outside today in the dark, temp was -7. My eyelids were frozen and so was my snot.. but the worst was when I came in from the cold and my legs were itching.. my legs were covered in hives, not little tiny hives but hives so big the melted together to form a giant hive from the back of my calves to my butt. I guess I didn't have enough layers on the bottom. What do you wear on your legs to keep warm in this kind of weather?? I had on insulated running tights, calf high smart wool socks, and compression shorts.

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  55. Off topic... Any comment on the Biggest Loser season 15 winner- Rachel. Lots of controversy over her extreme weightloss to win the title. I know you have talked about this show before.

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  56. I love the treadmill so I can potty all the time!
    I love the treadmill because there's no ice on the roads.
    I love the treadmill because the mirror lets me see when my toes are starting to creep in and I can work on my form.
    I love the treadmill because I get a full hour of Downton Abbey without the dog, kid, phone, laundry, grocery store all calling me to help them do something, buy something, fix something, and I can hit the potty when I want to hit it, without having to look for a bush in my size, hopefully without poison ivy.
    I mostly love the treadmill because I try to find someone who's on and moving at a good clip, so I can mentally compete with them. If they're going fast, I try to work up to their pace, if they're going slow, I look for three open treadmills and move to the middle one.
    Amy P. Philly Runner.

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  57. The only positive thing that I can think of about treadmill running is that I think it makes you stronger mentally. If you can get long runs in on a treadmill - you are a rock star!! I find it beyond boring - but maybe it helps build some mental stamina.
    Btw - I am almost as puzzled trying to figure out how one has sex on a moving treadmill as I am trying to figure out how one reads on a treadmill! These people have some serious skills!!

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  58. Since my treadmill is in my house, I love that I can stop for a potty break at any time in my OWN bathroom without risking loss of my machine to someone else :-)

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  59. I agree that treadmill running makes you mentally tougher. While training for my January half, I did a lot of shorter runs on the treadmill without music--then when I ran in the race with my kick-ass playlist, OMG. It was amazing. I also appreciate no cars and no other runners to dodge (like on the track).

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  60. I don't run on the treadmill much, but I don't hate it when I do. It gives me the chance to visualize how I might run in a race or anything in life for that matter. There is only so much you can let go on an outdoor run because of all the elements (cars, dogs, weather, etc.) you have to pay attention to. I also don't mind it because of the minimal pounding on your joints. If you don't have access to trails, it's nice to get a break from asphalt. Intervals are good for treadmills too because it breaks it up and you actually have to maintain the correct speed for the entire interval. My speed varies too much when I am outside, I haven't mastered pace running at all!

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  61. Negative 12? Hell no!! I would never run in that temp. I did 4.5 in 32 degree weather on saturday and that was pretty darn cold. However, here in the PNW that is pretty chilly. Go girl go!

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  62. oh man ive spent way too much time on that damn thing this winter, but love this post haha. anxious to get back outside, but you cant beat the shorts and tank top. no ice to slip on (although watching the olympics while running almost makes me fall off when i get scared the skiers arent gonna land a jump!)

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