Friday, February 28, 2014

6 Confessions For The Week

I love these posts. It lets me tell you the stupid (and mostly insignificant) little secrets I have. I like to think we all do tiny benign things that make us human. And, I love it when you tell me yours in the comments.

I know for me, crop dusting is usually at the top of the list. This reminds me of a fart story I had in the liquor store awhile back.  I hadn’t thought about that in awhile. You have to read it HERE.

Here are this week’s confessions:

1. I bought these cookies only because I knew my kids hate coconut and almonds. It’s all about me. I happen to love coconut and almonds. I guess another confession can be that there is blood in the picture below and I don’t know where it came from. But I swear I didn’t cut anyone with a knife when they were trying to take a cookie.

IMAG2727

2. Tomorrow I am going to a Swim Lab with my new Ironman Boulder training group. I will be evaluated and judged for my poor technique. I do not like this. Sometimes I’d rather be a bad swimmer than be critiqued. I will wear this outfit to make sure I am well respected and taken seriously:

bethsuit

3. I took the necklace off the mannequin at Old Navy. I couldn’t find it anywhere else in the store and I wanted it. That in and of itself is not a big deal except that stealing it from the mannequin required climbing on the display stand and messing up the whole outfit. I still cannot figure out why my kids don’t like shopping with me.

4. Heidi did a double crap in someone’s yard and I only had one bag. I had used the bag to pick up crap #1 and wasn’t going to untie it to pick up crap #2. So I did what any law abiding citizen would do and kicked crap #2 into the street (this of course would be inadvisable with diarrhea).

This is not Heidi. This is a re-enactment from Google images

5. I spent several minutes yesterday watching this video of an infrared camera recording people in the airport farting and questioning if it is really real. I wondered obsessively that  if it was real how I could get my hands on one because seriously, I can hardly imagine a better form of entertainment.

6. I went to get my free carwash on my birthday and they said they don’t do that anymore unless you are part of the frequent washer’s club. I said I was, which is not true because I only go once a year.

Those are my biggies.

Give me one confession for the week.  You’ll feel better.

Ever have your swimming or running form critiqued? Yes, both. Let’s just say it is an ongoing process.

SUAR

PS: I have a really cool giveaway coming up this week, so don’t forget to check back mid-week.

56 comments:

  1. that swim picture. It never gets old! hahahahahaha

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    1. Hahaha!! I like to bring that out every now and again.

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  2. Confession: That was me airport farting. It's all real.

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    1. Man, that fart had some POWER. Nice job.

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  3. Told my hubby the thin mints were gone-not true-the rest of the roll is hidden in the empty frozen lima bean bag I kept last night and shoved way back into the freezer. Husband hates the lima beans-he hasn't caught on to this after 13 years of marriage. Hehe.....

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    1. Ha! I love this - good plan!

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  4. Today I didn't eat breakfast, so instead I had 2 1/2 doughnuts for lunch. And then I may or may not have had a couple Cadbury Mini Eggs. No wonder I have a headache...

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  5. All of my shame stories involve poo. Not just this week. Always. And forever.

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  6. Anonymous's lime bean confession is awesome!
    Here is my confession: I had a terrible head cold this week; it was bad enough that I stayed home from work for 2 days. The husband and I usually trade off days we get up early to feed the dogs. I used my head cold as a reason for him to feed the dogs all week. Yeah, I probably could have managed feeding the dogs and going back to bed, but I didn't feel like it so I just said I felt too sick to get up.

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  7. Love the Fart Cam. I buy Coconut Gelato, and know it will always be in the freezer when I want some. My kids hate coconut too.

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  8. My husband is a big introvert and has a lot of anxiety about dinner parties. I'm planning a potluck dinner party with 3 other families - including kids!-- for next Saturday night and haven't worked up the guts to tell him yet. YIKES! Maybe I'll just send him a text on Friday afternoon while he's still at work.

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  9. Confession: I watch at least 3 hockey games a week (Go Blackhawks!), have for years, still don't understand the offsides rule.

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    1. This made me really laugh -- thank you! And who care? Hockey rocks!

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    2. cares* (argh, I despise types).

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  10. There is an infared video camera (one of the color ones, not black and white) that puts the image on a big screen at Denver's Museum of Nature and Science in the Space Section!

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  11. I believe I shall have my swim critiqued tomorrow too.

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  12. I. can't. I just died laughing. Thank you!

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  13. I bought ice cream and hid it in the freezer without telling my kids. I'm sure they'll discover it eventually, but not before I enjoy several bowls myself! HA! Oh! And I bought a bag of M&Ms and they are hidden in my underwear drawer. I don't have a *huge* sweet tooth but once in awhile I just want a little something and invariably when I do, the resident locusts have already wiped everything out.

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    1. Ohmygosh!!!! The underwear drawer! You.Are.A.Genius! I have 5 kids and 'resident locusts' hits a sore spot sometimes!
      Laurel

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    2. When my kids were little I would hide candy in an empty tampon box in the bathroom cabinet. No one ever found it!!

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  14. Ooooh, girl, some of those are naughty! I love them!

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  15. 1. I can't fart in front of my hubby unless the dog or the kids are around. Then I ALWAYS blame it on them. If he's not there, I totally claim them.
    2. I made brownies tonight and cut them up before telling the offspring. I told my kids that was all there were. It wasn't.
    3. I live in a small town - I ALWAYS speed up when I see someone I know while running. Then pray to God I don't see anyone else for another block. It's my only speedwork.

    Laurel

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  16. 1. i pretended I was asleep when hubby came to bed because I knew he'd want sex...and frankly, I was just to damn tired. 2. I'm happy when I drop my kids off at school....everyday. 3. I restarted my dryer 3 times for 1 load because i had no desire to fold them.

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    1. You are hilarious. And so honest. Love it!

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  17. You are HILARIOUS!!!! I did get my gait analyzed several weeks ago. I did something funny with my knee... due to a plica... which I had surgically removed because it was causing pain and imflammation in my knee. On the mend now!

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  18. OMG, love the swim picture. I'm an injured runner who just took up swimming. I am getting a little bit better than I was but man is it hard. I can totally relate to being critiqued on your swim, my coach kept telling me what I was doing wrong and I thought to myself just let me suck at swimming, ok. I'm making forward progress in the pool and am not drowning, isnt that good enough. haha

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  19. I remember that swim pic. You are so cool. It's the dark goggles.
    Yes, I've had my swim videoed, and analyzed in very slow motion. Stop motion, actually. In detail. I ended up swimming faster after.
    Confessions. I totally love petting our cats when it's dry like this, so the static electricity zap makes them twitch, then they go away. Then my laptop can go in my lap so I can write.

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  20. The infrared fart thing better be real - that was awesome.

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  21. I accidentally carb loaded at 2:30 AM last night after dancing all night with my friends. I swore off alcohol for the week in order to get ready for a half marathon Sunday, and then I did jello shots instead. A Venezuelan girl kept grabbing my ass last night. I tried to run away, but she chased me.

    I don't even know what time the race starts tomorrow. The thing I'm most concerned about is being able to poop before the race.

    xoxo

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  22. You are absolutely hilarious! I'm also guilty of the dog crap thing...except I just hold tied bag from crap #1 and pretend to pick up crap #2! I've tried untying the bag & it's just too gross!

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  23. I just signed up for my second marathon....and I haven't even run my first! It's top secret. I am afraid to tell my family until after I get through my spring marathon training/event. They'd think (know?) I'm nuts.

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  24. I almost shat my pants during my treadmill run yesterday. I barely made it to the bathroom. It made me think of you and your posts about it. This was my first experience. Not fun in the least bit! ON the bright side at least I did not ruin a favorite pair of panties.

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  25. While on the bike trainer, rather than watching another Tour de France clip on the IPad, I watched 20 minutes of you tube elephants having sex. Gawd, cannot train indoors any longer.

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  26. OMG. Lawlz. Between the double crap and the free car wash, I don't know which is making me laugh harder!

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  27. When I bring home leftovers from a restaurant, I secretly re-wrap them in something untasty-looking, like brown paper wrapping from the seafood counter. That way my son won't eat it when I'm not looking.

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  28. Infrared fart camera? My son would love it. Ok, who am I kidding. I would love it!

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