Ironman Boulder 70.3 Race Report

Race day started like every other race day: getting up at some ungodly hour (4:00 a.m.) and making it a priority to poop. The pooping did not happen as my body isn’t used to evacuating at 4:00 a.m. I am more of a 6:30 a.m. type of girl.

We got out the door by 4:30 a.m. and I felt like crying. Sometimes when my nerves are really off the charts, the only thing I can think of to do is cry (I’m such a girl). Or throw up. I didn’t do either. We got to the reservoir in darkness, pumped up tires and I carried my bike to transition (yes, I am that nervous about some errant goat-head or piece of glass messing up my day).

Transition was nuts. I set up my spot.

I was happy and comforted to see Nora right behind me in the transition area. I managed to clean my colon in the port potty and then the volunteers got very bossy yelling at everyone to get the hell out of the transition area (about 6:30 a.m.). I ran into Stacia from Twist Yoga Wear, good to finally meet her (and she kicked some Twist Yoga wear ass by finishing in 5:17!). Also saw my friend, Dana, and blogger friend Julie.

We walked to the beach and the buoys were so far out we could barely see them. This was a one loop, 1.2 mile swim and it looked freaking far. Somehow seeing it laid out in one big lump made it look too far for me to swim even though I had done the distance in a pool countless times since April.

We watched the pros set out, then got into the water for a 6:45 a.m. start. I put myself towards the back and side wanting to avoid dying as much as possible. I had no clue what to expect as this was my first open water tri. There were about 250 of us starting together.

I found the swim to be annoying. All of the grabbing and splashing and kicking. I would have none of people grabbing my feet and would violently shake them off. I tried to stay even with the buoys and did pretty well. I took it very easy on the swim, using it as a warm up for the day. I kept my kicking at a minimal to save my legs. Hell, I had at least 5-6 hours to go after the swim was over, so no need to go balls out.

Swim: 1.2 mile in 41:07

I peeled off my wetsuit and tried my best to dry off while getting ready to hop on the bike. I popped 3 Hammer endurolyte tabs and put on more sunscreen. It was going to be a scorcher with projected temps up to 96 degrees.  

The first 5-6 miles of the bike were relatively uphill, so it is kind of a grind. I kept a decent pace, but let my heart rate settle down. I knew I’d be out there a long time and that pacing was crucial. After about 20 minutes I started eating. I had packed my Bento Box full of Fig Newtons, Stinger gels and Stinger waffles with peanut butter (broken into pieces). I was determined to eat it all (I didn't quite succeed, but close), which would give me about 330 cals/hour and 40-50g carbs/hour. I had scotch-taped six endurolyte tabs to my bike as well. Need to get dehydrated out there.

The bike was fast. I was passed by 6 million of those intense dudes on tri bikes who have the really noisy wheels. I never felt tired on the bike, never stopped pedaling. I stayed in my aerobars 98% of the time. I was able to get comfortable and just do my thing. I was having a great time. The scenery was amazing and I felt good. At every aid station I took a new bottle of water. I knew the bike was my chance to hydrate and fuel.

On the second loop at about mile 30 I saw I sign that said, “Don’t burn up your legs, save some for the run.” This was my main concern. There are some pretty big hills on this course and I worried my legs would be burned out for the run. I tried to keep some in reserve.

About 30 minutes before the end of the bike,I stopped eating to let my stomach settle. I started mentally preparing big time for the run, remembering my strategy to go at an even pace and one that I could sustain in the heat for 13.1 miles. By this time it was really warming up into the 90s.

Bike: 56 miles in 2:53 (19.34 avg pace)

I started running and my stomach was so cramped up. Like that kind of cramping that proceeds a major explosion. Shit, I thought. SHIT! I know it was from all that food on the bike, the exertion and being bent over for so long in aero position.

I didn’ t know if I would crap myself, throw up, need to walk, cry or all of the above simultaneously. I was terrified to eat anything. The waves of intense cramping continued for about five miles. The last episode nearly brought me to my knees, but I kept running. I was scouring the landscape for somewhere to squat if need be. This was my low point of the race. Because you have to have at least one, right?

The thing about stomach cramping is that running makes it  worse and we all know that. Yet, I would not give in. I pretty much surrendered to the pain and decided I would have the rest of the day to spend on the toilet, but I needed to keep moving forward.

Then, guess what? The pain went away. Just like that. I never ate a thing during the run for fear it would return. I took a gamble by not eating, but it’s what I had to do.

I made it through loop one of the run and was feeling great. My friend, Joie, was waiting with more endurolyte tabs, cold water, sunscreen and her smiling face, which helped my mood so much.

Mile 6.5 of the run

Here I go for loop two, then I’m done!

Loop two was a war zone. People were grunting, moaning, walking. It was hot. As in, the kind of hot where you’d prefer to not walk to your mailbox let alone run a half marathon. I stopped each mile at the aid stations to pour ice water on my head and stuff my bra with ice. I took sponges and cooled my whole body. I drank small sips of flat coke and water. I pushed on. I passed lots of people at this point. At mile 11, I could not believe I felt as good as I did and I only had 2.1 miles to go. I did not have on a Garmin, so I had no clue about pace. I just kept moving.

As I got within a mile of the finish, I started to cry. Not an all out ugly sobbing cry (that would be stupid), just some soft tears. I had almost done it. I would do it. 15 hard weeks of dedicated training. Lots of uncertainly about my abilities.

Run: 13.1 miles in 2:00 (9:12 avg pace)

Yes, my slowest half marathon ever, but I usually don’t do those after swimming 1.2 miles and biking 56 miles. I also don’t do them when it’s freaking 95 degrees!

I crossed the finish line in 5:43. I hoped to be under 6:30 and dreamed of getting close to 6:00. I had smashed my goal. Now I need to take a class in how to not underestimate myself.

I was 18/74 in my division (40-44), 198/449 for women and 565/1327 overall.

Best part of the finish besides finishing was getting a Boulder 70.3 hat soaked in ice water. Oh, and a medal.

Joie was waiting for me at the finish, looking like a tourist. Love her!:

Then my mom, dad and the kids got there. Sam might get beat up for wearing those glasses:

Surprise of surprises, my friend Clair showed up, the one who wrote me the amazing email the other day. She lives in Virginia and I knew she was out here on a family vacation. No clue she would be at the finish or that I would see her before next week. Incredible, uplifting surprise!

I got to watch Ken finish in 6:32.

Many of you know Ken and I have done most our training together and that this was a first half ironman for us both. So, obviously the dude in this video was not meant to represent Ken! It meant so much to see him finish so strong! I mean, we used to sit on the couch, drink Budweiser and watch Beverly Hills 90210 back in the 90s, so we've come a long way. (Although  still do those things, I just train early in the morning and sit on the couch at night).

Whew! That was a long ass report. Almost as long as my race. And, probably kind of boring, but it’s my story and I’m proud of it. It’s one more example of how we have to set our sites HIGH and never stop believing. In the end, we are so much stronger than we think we are.

discipline + passion + no excuses = success

SUAR

PS: And huge thanks to the volunteers like Laura and Becka. You were AWESOME!

I Need Your Help

Long run yesterday: 16 miles  
Time: 2:25
Average pace: 8:58
Liquid consumed (water/HEED): 45 oz
Nutrition: 1 Strawberry Cliff Shot at mile 6
Temperature at 7:00 a.m. start: 66*
Temperature at finish: 80*
Bathrooms stops: 2 along the dirt road in the weeds
Elevation gain/loss: 735 ft/735 ft.

When Ken and I set out (he ran the first half with me), I could already tell it was going to be a muggy scorching kind of run. This route is gorgeous with lots of back country roads and mountain views, but there is little shade and a plethora of hills (you like that fancy word?).

Highlights:

Mile 1: I stopped to stretch and crap. Oh no. Already? I swear I went before I left home. Ken stood guard, rolling his eyes thinking, “How could I have married this?”

Mile 4: I left another gift alongside the road.

Mile 8: Kissed Ken goodbye (no tongue). Headed back. Put in iPod to take my mind off of the heat and effort

Mile 10: iPod dies. It’s just me and my breathing.

Mile 14: Run out of water/HEED

Mile 15: Super energetic, talkative and shirtless runner probably on mile 2 of his run comes up from behind. “Hot enough for you? How you doing? Blah, blah, blah.”

How the hell do you think I’m doing? I’m on mile freaking 15 of this 16 mile jaunt, I’m dehydrated, my legs are screaming, and oh, hey, we just passed the crap I took this morning!”

Me at the end of it all, not feeling so swell. Yes I have my running tank rolled up because this is the new fashion statement. You should try it:

And now I need your help.

I broke my exciting news last week – that I would be running part of the TransRockies Run with Dean Karnazes, Ultramarathon Man extraordinaire, as my partner. Stage One. 20.4 miles. 2,721 feet of elevation gain. 2,398 feet of elevation loss. I can hear my knees groaning already. But NO I am not complaining. Chance of a lifetime over here.

Check points are every 7 miles, so I guess there will be about three water/food stops on the trail over the course of the 20 miles.

I’m wondering about hydration between check points. Usually I run with 40 oz of hydration in my Nathan fuel belt.

I talked to Outside PR and they sent me this nifty Go Lite Slipstream hydration pack:

I have never used one of these. Apparently it needs a bladder to go inside of it. I couldn’t get in for a bladderectomy on short notice (all the ORs were full), so I’m going to have to buy one.

Like anything out there, there are 20 million options. All I know is I want 2 liters (70 oz). Any of you run with hydration packs? I know you all run with bladders and colons.

Any advice on which bladder to order?

Also, if you were me, what hydration system would you use for the race?

Option One: fuel belt, refuel at check point

Option Two: hydration pack, refill as needed

I know from reading his books that Dean prefers the pack. But, I am my own woman, so I cannot be influenced. Except by you all. So give me your input!

PS: My $100 CSN giveaway ends tomorrow. What are you waiting for? A personal invitation?

Fine Print: Go-Lite and Outside PR sent me this hydration pack free of charge.

You Don’t Get These Odds In Vegas

Today’s tempo run started at 6:24 a.m. which is about the time I am usually turning over in bed to move out of my own personal pile of drool. I admit it. I am a drooler. As in I leave a perfectly round drool spot at least 3 inches in diameter on the sheet just below my pillow. I like to think it’s a sign of intelligence or at least an indication that I’m a sound sleeper.

I never get up this early, let alone run. Today, however, I have to get my daughter to a camp in Boulder by 9am, so you do what you have to do. Get up and shut up and run.

I was feeling sassy in my new booty shorts and tech shirt from a marathon I have not yet run (Boston). Here I am posing for a JC Penney catalog (no, I did not run in these flip flops – I do, however, have a review coming up about them):

The SUAR schedule called for 1 mile warm up, 4 miles tempo @ 8:04, 1 mile cool down. I can’t stomach much this early, so I did an apple cinnamon Hammer gel about 15 minutes prior with water. I never do gels pre-run, but it’s what sounded good today.

On the way out I was feeling particularly gassy. Good for me I was alone and it was early. I could just let ‘em rip as they came. Smelled like apple cinnamon. I did pass an old guy who gave me a sour look. What? He doesn’t like apple cinnamon?

Here’s how it panned out:

Mile 1: 9:11
Mile 2: 8:11
Mile 3: 7:53
Mile 4: 7:54
Mile 5: 8:07
Mile 6: 9:04

Not too consistent, but I’ll take it. I’m not smart enough to figure out the average of those four miles (Steve Q? Are you there?), but I’m going to guess 8:02. Sound good?

Got speed this week? If so, what are you doing?

Don’t forget my Champion Giveaway. You didn’t hear it here, but if you are a guy you have a 100% chance of winning right now. You don’t get those odds in Vegas you know. Only on this blog.

Colorado Marathon Race Report – Part Two

When we left off last, Tara and I were starting our marathon journey down the canyon. We parted ways as we had different time and pace goals.

With the pre-race night I had, I had no clue what I could or would bring to this race. I expected the best, but was prepared for the worst. The temps were about 30 degrees, the air was crisp and cool and the sun was just starting to emerge through the canyon. We were running to the east, so the sun warmed our faces. I had on my cheetah running skirt to make me think I could run fast. I had asked for and gotten this skirt from Running Skirts for Christmas specifically for this race. I only wore it once during training to make sure it didn’t chafe in all the wrong places. It didn't. And no, I never soiled it.

Here was my strategy going into the race - it wasn’t rocket science: Run the first two miles 10-15 seconds slower than race pace (8:40). Pick it up after that and maintain between an 8:30 and 8:40 pace for the remainder of the race. I wore a pace band, and set it for a 3:45 marathon to give me some wiggle room.

I was good for the first mile and took it slow.

Mile 1: 8:49

Mile 2: 8:27 (well, I kind of broke my rule on this one).

Another marathon rule I had was to drink at every aid station, alternating sports drink (Heed during this race) and water or drinking both. I stuck to this for the entire race with the exception of miles 24 and 25 when I couldn’t have given a shit, I just wanted to get to the finish. I had decided I would take a Hammer gel every five miles.

Mile 3: 8:28

Mile 4: 8:21

The sun was starting to really shine through now. No one on the course was talking. It was extremely peaceful with only the sound of running shoes on pavement and the white water flowing in the river only feet from the road.  I was completely and utterly in the present moment. I had decided to hold off on any music until at least the halfway point, and was very glad I did. There are so few moments in life when we are simply present. When we are not worried about much of anything, are not multi-tasking, are not distracted. We are just taking in what is before us. I did not know if I would make it 26.2 miles. I did not know if I would meet any of my goals. I did know I could put one foot in front of the other.

Mile 5: 8:19 – vanilla Hammer gel

Mile 6: 8:18

Mile 7: 8:22

At this point I decided to take advantage of the downhill and bank some time. I knew that these miles would be my fastest because once we got out of the canyon (about mile 17), it would flatten out and there would be some hills. I checked my pace band every mile and knew I was at least 2 minutes ahead of a 3:45 marathon. It was good to know I had a cushion if I needed to slow down later. I started to pass a girl and she said “Geez!” I asked her what was wrong and she said, “Well, if anyone passes me I look at their legs and if their legs are strong and toned like yours, I decide it’s okay for them to pass me.” Then she added, “But, I AM NOT GAY!” Her being gay was the last thing on my mind. Like I would worry about a lesbian hitting on me at this point anyway. She told me she was running her first marathon and wanted to break four hours. I told her she was WAY on track to do this. We would run together until about mile 18 when her husband jumped into the road blaring a trumpet. Made me totally crack up. I lost her. I hope she met her goal. I love runners.

Mile 8: 8:27

Mile 9: 8:22

You think about a lot of things while you run. Now I thought about Lucky and the fact that he would have his eye removed in the morning. I cried a bit. Lucky has the must stunning, big, beautiful brown eyes and it killed me to think one of them would be gone. I kept thinking about that quote that “the eyes are the window to the soul” and it broke my heart. I tried to file the sadness away, but sometimes it overtook me.

Mile 10: 8:17 – vanilla Hammer gel

Mile 11: 8:30

Mile 12: 8:11

I thought about the fact that I was nearing the halfway mark. I got such a mental boost when I thought I was coming up on mile 11, but it was really mile 12! At this point I knew Ken had started the half marathon and was on the same course. It gave me some comfort knowing he was close by. I hoped he was having a great race. What I didn't know was that he had blown out his calf at mile 3 and had to hobble the remaining 10 miles.

Mile 13: 8:07

Half marathon time: 1:49 – right on track for a BQ!

First marathon girl and I whooped and hollered as we passed the halfway point. There is something so mentally uplifting about knowing you are halfway. I had just congratulated myself for not having any poop emergencies when I had an unexpected squirt in the skort. It would be the only one for the race, but at the time I got a little freaked. It was so surprising I actually yelled out, “Shit!” And it was.

Mile 14: 8:04

Mile 15: 8:20 – Tried to take a chocolate Hammer. It was like tar. Threw it away after gagging

Mile 16: 8:32

As we came out of the canyon the sun was in full force. Mile 17 was the first point where we saw spectators. My only marathon experience was the Rock ‘n Roll Phoenix which had thousands of spectators and entertainment every step of the way. This was such a different experience. Seeing those people cheering me on as I cruised by was incredibly invigorating. I felt like I was flying.

Mile 17: 8:29

Mile 18: 8:06

I’m not a big Rod Stewart fan, but I have always loved the song Forever Young because of the message contained in the song. This was playing in my ear as I cruised by the spectators. May the good Lord be with you down every road you roam. May sunshine and happiness surround you when you’re far from home. May you grow to be proud, dignified and true. And do unto others as you'd have done to you…

Mile 19: 8:19

Mile 20: 8:21 – banana Hammer gel

There was a big ass climb called Bagel Hill between miles 19 and 20. I saw an aid station at the top and was concentrating on that. I powered up the hill. I had given myself permission to grab a drink at the aid station and walk through, drinking, until the trash can several feet away. It was mentally good to know I could take 10 seconds rest walking at each aid station if need be.

At mile 20 I had a great boost when Jill appeared to cheer me on and run with me for a bit. She really lifted my spirits – told me all the things everyone wants to hear at mile 20: “You look great!”, “It’s all downhill from here.” “You’re almost there.” Thanks Jill, I needed that!

Mile 21: 8:20

Mile 22: 8:50

Mile 23: 8:38

At this point, I had to dig deep. Everything below my waist hurt. I started to feel sick. I knew it was only three miles to the finish, and I knew that I had trained for this very moment. Here is where my mental strength would need to take over my body. I expected this to come and when it came, I was prepared. I dissociated from my physical body in a sense. I told myself I was tough. I told myself that nothing would keep me from my goal. I reminded myself that I was running towards my mom, dad, husband and kids who were at the finish line. It was Mother's Day. I teared up. I knew at most I would only be running another 25-30 minutes. I knew I could do anything for that amount of time.

Mile 24: 9:08

Slowest mile of the race and most challenging. I clung onto two girls beside me who were going for a similar time goal. This was the point at which a volunteer was trying to balance three feet of stacked HEED cups and just happened to let them fall right in my path. I was not in the mood for this and had to hurdle them to avoid falling. Freaking A!!!  I told myself I could slow down until mile 25. Then I agreed with myself I would pick it up for the rest of the race. Yes, I was talking to myself at this point.

Mile 25: 8:35

I knew I had done it. I knew I could walk the rest of the way (but I wouldn’t) and still make my goal. I started yelling “YES!” and a huge smile took over my face.

Mile 26: 8:29

I saw Ken, my biggest fan, at the 26 mile mark. I have never been so happy to see anyone in my life!! He yelled, “Go baby go. You’ve got this! Run to the finish!” I turned the corner and saw the FINISH line sign. It was SO close.

.2 mile: 8:10

I sped up, searching the crowd for my parents and kids. I saw them on the side lines and cheering me on. Sam took these photos:

I crossed the line and fell into my dad’s arms, sobbing. Then my mom’s. It came gushing out.  The stress fracture, the missed marathon in November, the weeks of training, the love and support of family and friends, Lucky.

    

Final stats: 3:42:36/ 8:28 pace/ 8th out of 70th in age group

And…I shaved 21 minutes off of my one/only marathon time (4:03 - 17 months ago)

Then reality set in and in perfect Shut Up and Run style I started to feel sick:

I knew all those gels wanted to get out via the colon. I headed to the porta potty and some guy in line said, “Cheetah girl! You were really kickin it at the end.” I said, “…and I got my Boston qualifier.” He started screaming, “Cheetah girl is going to Boston!” I love runners.

I knew we had to make it home and make it home quick. I spent the afternoon in bed and on the toilet. Who cares? One of the best days ever. By 5pm I was up for a margarita.

And at 7:30 the next morning Lucky got his eye removed.  He is fine. He still has one beautiful brown eye. He is one eyed and three legged. And he still has an erection.

Thanks for reading about my journey. Running is so much more than physical. It is about accomplishment, determination, discipline and success. It makes me a better person.

Q & A Time

I don’t get tons of questions from bloggers. Probably because I’m no expert on anything, and everyone knows it.  But, occasionally I get a query and I don’t want to leave you hanging. So, read on:

Apple Crumbles asked, “The day after a long run, say 18 - 22 miles or even a marathon, do you feel depressed or cranky? I'm trying to figure out if I refueled correctly or if it's simply over stressing.”

Hello my Apple Crumble friend! What are apple crumbles anyway? Reminds me of cobbler or streusel…hmmm…streusel.  But, I digress. Yes, I get a bit out of whack the day after a long run or a race. Mostly it’s because I’m usually taking the day off and don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not running and getting that adrenaline fix. However, sometimes, I’m just glad to have the freaking day off!

Certainly after a race, especially a marathon, there is that mental letdown of knowing what you have worked for over the past months has come and gone. My advice, be kind to yourself and don’t spend too much time dwelling on if/why you’re in the mood you’re in. Just re-focus and put your energies elsewhere. Like making something with apples that crumbles and sending it to me.

FitMacDaddy proclaimed, “Man, I would not be a runner if I had your intestines! I can't even poop in someone else's house, let alone on the side of the road. I've been known to hold in my poops for entire camping trips!”

Then he wanted to know, “What is your marathon goal now that you're such a speedster?”

Wow, Mac Daddy. My hope for you is that you never go on a two week camping trip. And not pooping in people’s houses? That’s hard core. I think I’ve stopped-up every toilet of every friend and acquaintance I’ve ever had. Then there was one time at that frat party, but I won’t go into that.

As far as my marathon goal – did you just call me a speedster? I think I love you. Seriously. My goal is a very original one. I don’t think any other blogger has ever mentioned it: to BQ. But in reality, I like to have several goals when racing. I’d take any of these end results, but would prefer #3:

1. Beat 4:03, the time of my first marathon
2. Break 4 hours
3. BQ by coming in under 3:50:59. I have been training to run a 3:45 marathon, but we all know just because you train for a certain time doesn't mean you get that time. A girl can hope and dream, can’t she?
4. Win the race by running a 2:12 marathon. Totally doable.

Jennifer (URL not available) queried, “You may have answered this question before but do you carry TP with you on all your runs? The pooping doesn't concern me as much as the wiping. If you do have TP with you what do you do with it?”

Excellent question. No, I do not carry TP and I’ll tell you why. The roll does not fit in my fuel belt. Really, I don’t carry it because the whole thing is gross and inappropriate and yucky with or without the TP. If I use TP then I have to stay in the shit position longer, find a way to dispose of the TP (I am NOT carrying it home along side of my cell phone), and be aware of how much I am NOT washing my hands after wiping. And if I want to wash my hands after wiping that means I need to bring some antibacterial soap and it just never ends. Kind of like that book, “If You Give a Mouse a Pancake” and how he’s going to want syrup and a plate and a napkin to go with it. Live simply.

LMC stated, “I absolutely love the new background on your blog. Is it the Colorado River?”

I have no clue what it is. I would like to lie and say that yes, in fact, it is the Colorado River and I took this picture while I kayaked down thus river right after running a marathon. But truth be told, I got this off of the new blogger/draft site. If you haven’t visited this site and you’re with Blogger, give it a try. It will improve the aesthetics of your blog and we will all thank you for it.

Steve Q. questioned, “Can glow sticks be used as tampons?”

Fantastic question, Steve. I have never used a glow stick as a tampon, and I’m guessing it’s not advisable. I know things get dark in there, but do we really need to make it glow?

Kim exclaimed, “I did 18 miles this morning and thought of you. I was jogging along, working out the morning farts when all of a sudden - RED ALERT - it was not just a fart. Got it clamped in time but had to find a bathroom fast - luckily the assisted living place nearby was open. Thanks, old people!”

She then asked, “Aren't you glad I think of you when I have to crap in the middle of a run?”

I am wiping tears from my keyboard right now because of how touched I am. When people crap and they do so in my name or at the very least think of me during the act, it is incredibly flattering. BTW, going poop in an assisted living place is genius. You could do it on the seat or even in your pants and it would be par for the course. You could also steal a couple of Depends on your way out.

Apple C. wanted to know, “What are the Hammer / Heed products? Can you offer a link? I have a whole box of GU but I can't stand the stuff.”

So, my crumble friend, have you made my dessert yet?

The Hammer/Heed products are all the rage, especially for those of us plagued by GI issues when we run.  Their claim to fame is that the gel and sport’s drink products are full of ingredients that are easier to digest than most sport’s stuff out there. You can read to your heart’s content HERE, but basically you get a tasty and affordable product with the essential carbs (23 g.) and electrolytes, but it’s gentler on the tummy. Only 2 g. of sugar. The sport’s drink, HEED, is less sweet than most drinks because Hammer uses Xylitol - “a natural substance that can be found in a variety of fibrous fruits and vegetables.” Check it out. I ordered 32 serving powder for about $20. And Ms. Apple, they have an apple spice gel that is yummy. Without crumbles.

Sarah admitted, “I actually had potty issues on my long run today and I thought of you....is that strange??”

No, Sarah, not strange at all. Many people think of me when they have “potty issues.” I’m pretty sure Obama takes dumps with me on his mind.

Meg noted, “Super run and hey, YOU QUOTED Buddha on my blog! You never cease to amaze me with your depth and breadth....from poop to the very spiritual. You didn't make that quote up, did you? Just wonderin'.”

Meg! Do you realize you just gave me credit for creating something said by Buddha! No, I didn’t make up that quote. It came right from the big bellied God himself.  He who thinks I write like Buddha will have the kingdom of heaven at their fingertips.

Any other questions or queries? Any add-ons to my answers? Go for it.

Uses for Tampons and an 18 Miler

Running tip:  Help your body recover after a long run by feeding it some protein within the first 30-60 minutes after finishing. Chocolate milk, an egg sandwich or a bagel with peanut butter are all good options.

Wow, you guys are good at the hidden object game. You must have read Highlights magazine when you were children. I used to love the hidden pictures. Still do.

You also really know your tampons. Yes, it was a tampon. Naturelle brand. Let me tell you why I have this particular tampon when I don’t even wear tampons (I can’t. I had Toxic Shock Syndrome way back when and still am not supposed to wear them). You see, I was at the Taylor Swift concert the other night with my eight year old daughter and 16,000 other screaming girls under the age of 15 using their glow sticks as microphones. Anyway, we went to the bathroom and I noticed free tampons and pads. I don’t turn down anything that is free, so I stuffed it in my purse. You never know, one of the 16,000 screaming girls could have gotten her period for the first time and I would need to save the day. Always good to have it on hand. After all, I can think of lots of other uses for a tampon (besides the obvious):

• Spin the tampon game
• Trail marker so you don’t get lost
• Plugging up holes in a boat
• Pull cord for a lamp or ceiling fan
• Rescue float for Lifeguard Barbie
• Dabber for greasy pizza

Winners!

Beth gets a giveaway entry for being the first to guess what it was

Tara gets three entries for guessing the brand (dang girl, you nailed it, did you study tamponology in school or something?)

Paul gets three entries for being the only guy brave enough to write the word “tampon” in the comments

Shellspotgirl gets three entries for guessing the brand

Today I got up at the ass crack of dawn to get in my 18 miler before the chaos of the day began. It was pretty uneventful. I ran the first half with no music and tried to stay focused on my breath and to be at one with my body. For the second half, I decided to screw being present with my body and opted to be distracted by my iPod. I find I’m faster with the music. I tried Hammer/Heed products today – Melon flavored drink and an apple spice gel. These products are much less sweet than most others and I liked the lack of sugar. I had absolutely no tummy trouble. Just a couple skid marks. Success! I also ran in my new Nike Dri Fit socks, which are supposed to protect from blisters. They worked like a charm.

 Overall, I did 18.5 miles in 2:44 with an avg pace of 8:54.

I’ve only got two long runs left – another 18 and a 15. Only four weeks until race day.

Post run, I went directly to the Starbucks drive thru where I got a large coffee and an egg sandwich. Decided get some good karma points and told the cashier I wanted to pay for the lady behind me. Turns out she ordered some large ass drink and a sandwich. I wanted to be nice, but not that nice. Don’t people just order small hot chocolates anymore?

What was your long run this weekend? Does music make you faster? How many weeks until your next race?

Drinking: Grande mild coffee with extra cream