The Boston Obsession

Why does anyone care about qualifying for Boston anyway?

Seriously, why?

Runner’s World has been asking that of athletes (“Are You Obsessed with Boston?”), and it got me to thinking. What is it that really motivates people to do what it takes for the almighty BQ?

I know what it was for me. The prize money. All $806,000 of it. I knew if I could BQ, that money would be mine. Look! I have no neck:

Honestly, though, it was simply the challenge. Could I, as a newer runner, really get to Boston? How many races would it take? How many years?

Someone (a group of someones) set up qualifying times for this race. Some of us want what’s hard to get.  You mean there’s a race where I can beg them to take my $130 if I run as fast as they say I have to? I’m in. I’d also like to park in handicap spots because I’m not allowed and go behind the first class curtain on airplanes even though I only have a coach ticket. Just simply putting my toe over the line is exhilarating.

I suppose there is a part of me that felt like getting a BQ would somehow define me as a runner. In my heart of hearts I know it doesn’t, so it’s an external thing. Really, when I lace up my shoes and run down my street, I am a runner. Hell, I’m even a runner now and I can’t even run.

Yeah, yeah Boston’s the oldest marathon and fast people run it. At mile 13 some college girls yell and scream. There is some hill at mile 16 that’s supposed to break your heart. But for me, I just wanted to see if I could do it.

Between you and me, I  didn’t know squat about the Boston Marathon when I started running two years ago. It’s a marathon. In a city called Boston. Big shit.

Confession time: When I ran my first marathon almost two years ago, I didn’t even run with a watch, let alone a Garmin. I just wanted to finish the damn thing. When I ran my first marathon almost two years ago it was bliss. I was free of technology, pressure, paces and injuries. A lot changes in two years.

While training for that first race, people kept asking me what my time goal was. Time goal? Are you high? Isn’t it enough of a goal to make it to the finish line? I had no clue about pace. I just went with what felt right and I promised myself I wouldn’t walk.

After that first race, I ran a half marathon three months later faster than I thought I could. With a Garmin. Somewhere along the line I started reading blogs and learned about this BQ thing. But, what was a BQ? A Big Queef? A Bonus Question? A barbecue without the extra B (we call that a barcue)?

Then I got it. It was this race where you had to have a certain marathon finish time to enter.  I looked up my time…let’s see I’m 42….that means I have to run a…3:50 marathon. Well, shit, I thought. I’ve only run one marathon and that was in 4:03, so could it be possible to cut 13 minutes off my time? Hell yeah. That’s only 30 seconds per mile. In truth, I could easily cut 4 minutes off per mile and win the whole damn race.

So, I went for it and it happened. May 9, 2010, Ft. Collins, Colorado. My second marathon. I crossed the line in 3:42:36, giving myself a nice 8 minute cushion. I was going to Boston.

People say Boston’s not all that. There are better, cheaper, more scenic races. True.

People say Boston’s no different/better than NY where you need a time (faster than Boston) to enter (if you don’t want to risk the lottery system). True.

People say the Boston qualifying times are too easy for women. Maybe true.

I say, I’m still glad I’m going. I want to say I did it. That I was there. It’s history making for me, personally. The thrill has been the journey to get there.  Boston for me is symbolic of hard work, determination and doing what I said I would do.

So, your turn. Why do you care (or not) about getting that BQ?

Going to find my neck,

SUAR

Silver Maple Giveaway!

By now you know I’m not your ordinary chick. I get bats stuck in my crotch, I jump into icy waters in January, and I crap in the strangest of places while I run.

I like to think of myself as unique instead of crude or odd.

And, I like unique things.

That’s why when Tara sent me this prior to my marathon, I melted:

Colorado Marathon 5.9.10

It’s from Silver Maple Jewelry. Jacque, who runs the show over there and happens to be super cool, has been generous enough to offer up a $40 gift certificate to one lucky reader. Silver Maple offers some of the most unique, custom-made jewelry I have ever seen.

Silver Maple uses sterling silver and copper in their creations. Many of their pieces are hand-cut and filed from a sheet of metal for a one-of-a-kind design. By hand, they stamp, distress, brush, and polish each piece to provide a vintage-inspired look. The outcome? A gorgeous, tasteful and unique work of art.

To enter:

• Visit Silver Maple Jewelry HERE.  Browse around, scratch yourself, have a drink and leave a comment letting me know what you would buy with your $40 gift certificate: + 1 entry
• Post this giveaway on your blog with a link to my site: +1

Be sure to leave a comment for each entry!

I’ll announce a random winner a week from today – on July 1, 2010.

In the meantime, when you visit the site and decide to buy something, enter the coupon code “ShutUpAndRun” at checkout and you’ll receive 20% off. It’s good through July 4th.

Happy shopping and good luck!!

Silver Maple gave me this gift certificate free of charge as a giveaway. I paid nothing for it.

 

After Thoughts and Lessons Learned

At exactly this time, this moment, a week ago I was crossing the finish line of the Colorado Marathon and celebrating a PR and a BQ. Having had 7 days of rest (only one yoga session and one 5 mile run), lots of wine, many calorie laden meals, one massage, and exactly four large dumps (I never said I was regular), I’ve had lots of time to think about how it all played out, what I learned and what I might do differently next time. Here’s me thinking  while I swing like a carefree child:

Let me start by saying – I know that just because I BQ’d, I am not some running guru or speedster. There are hundreds of thousands of 43 year old women faster than me.  I just know what worked for me and helped me to cut 21 minutes off of my previous marathon time of only 17 months ago. This is just my personal success story.

There has been a lot of talk lately about how BQ’ing is “too easy,” especially for women. I guess those real fasties don’t like Boston to get watered down with those of us who are less speedy. However, there may be some truth to these claims, especially because men’s qualifying times are SO much more difficult than women’s. It seems either the men’s times need to get easier or the women’s harder to make it more balanced. In addition, the Boston Marathon is overflowing with people who have qualified and are trying to get in. This could be because there are so many more people running marathons these days, or it could be that it’s “too easy” to get there.  I don’t pretend to know. I’m just a girl trying to get to Bean-town.

I will say that it is an honor and privilege to be a 40-something woman who only started running in 2008 who is on her way to Boston. Maybe someone as inexperienced as I shouldn’t be able to BQ because that shows it’s not hard enough. But, I trained my ass off for this accomplishment, so I’ll take it with pride. I don’t know if I am too slow to run Boston, but I do know that the current standards have allowed me this opportunity. So, thanks B.A.A. for not changing anything…yet.

Things that worked for me this time around:

After running myself into the ground, getting a stress fracture and ending up like this:

(God, I look like a dork). I decided that for me, less really is more.

• I trained using a mix of the “Run Less, Run Faster” plan plus some of the Runner’s World Smart Coach. I rarely ran more than 3-4 times a week, but each of those runs (speed, tempo and long) were purposeful and difficult.  I did my Yassos to correlate with my hopeful marathon time.
• I started Bikram (hot) yoga and did this twice weekly during my training
• I took 1,200 mgs of calcium per day, a multi vitamin and acidophilus. I ate healthily and drank wine very regularly. I didn’t do meth or crack.
• During the 16 weeks of training I only ran 492 miles. That is a lot less than most of you but it’s still friggin’ 492 miles.  I also incorporated lots of cross training, mostly swimming
• I never ran more than 20 miles in a training run, and only did that once (because I had the shits on this run and got scared). My other longer runs were 18.5 miles (x2) and 18 miles (I still had the shits and left a present in a tree)
• With the exception of Ken running with me for parts of my long runs, I did all of them solo. I learned to enjoy my own company and to love the meditative quality of these runs. I was hell bent on keeping a certain pace and knew I would do that best if I ran alone.
• I got monthly massages. No honeysuckle touching allowed.

I won’t lie. The week before the marathon I added up my miles and psyched myself out with those age old pre-marathon messages – I haven't done enough. I can't keep my marathon pace over 26.2 miles. Will the Depend show through my cheetah running skirt?

What I now know is that my training plan worked like a charm. I was well prepared, mentally and physically. And I wanted it bad. REALLY bad.

Other things that worked:

• Wearing a pace band during the race. Used THIS ONE. I wasn’t sure if I’d love or hate having this on my wrist, but it saved me and kept me on track
• Not eating dairy or fiber three days before the race. No GI trouble, no porta potty stops, not even to pee
• I hydrated very well in the days leading up to the race
• I learned everything I could about the course and drove most of it. I visualized myself running the race strong, smiling and at marathon pace. I had all of my mental tools ready for when the going got tough.
• I made my goals public. There were times when I really wished I hadn’t done this because I felt like if I didn’t get there, I’d be a failure. But in the end, I think it made me work harder
• The week before the race I watched inspirational movies like “The Spirit of the Marathon” and “Race for the Soul.”

Lessons Learned:

• Turn off the auto pause on my Garmin
• Cut the toenail on my god awful Morton’s toe
• The things you worry about almost never happen (but, the really freaky things you don’t worry about, like your dog losing an eye, might)
• Even when things fall apart, it doesn't mean everything's going to hell. Always have hope
• NEVER lose sight of your goals. Keep the faith. If you don’t get them this time, try again. They’re yours for the taking.
• Don’t ingest pizza, chicken wings and beer the night before a long run. Ever.
• Stop worrying about what other people think. Do what’s right for you. Have confidence.
• Be kind to yourself. A time at the finish line is only hours and minutes. It doesn’t define you. You are not “good” because your time is “fast,” and you are not “bad” if you run at the back of the pack.

Thanks for reading and sharing this journey. Now a little anecdote from today:

Picking up my son (12) from school this afternoon, I noticed a girl who he’s known since kindergarten. I said (impulsively), “Wow, she’s really blossomed. In the chest area.” Sam said, “Hah! You jealous??”

Yes, my son, I am.

PS: Check out Tara’s giveaway for Silver Maple Jewelry!

Hitting a Wall and GU Winners

In light of my dog problems this week and the fact that am a runner, today was the day to post the running dog video.

It’s one of my most favorite videos on the planet right after those eight year old girls dancing to “Single Ladies” (What’s up with that anyway? Are you sure you want your daughter to have the nickname Kandy or Kitty or Trixie this early in life?). 

Yes, I know, you’ve probably seen this one below. But it just.does.not.get.old. I’m begging you, just see if you can watch the end and not laugh. Or cry if you’re a member of PETA or if you’re the guy who put up the drywall.

So..the newest GU flavor is….

Mandarin Orange!

It appears that many of you were hoping it would be Hershey squirt to honor my marathon. So sweet of you. Or gross.

Winners are (Time to fess up: did you guys google it? Just a good guess? Divine intervention?):

Isela, Running Girl, and Holly. Email me your addresses and I’ll send you one MO GU!

Have a great weekend.

Next post: Lessons learned from the marathon, so stay tuned. These lessons may include, but not be limited to: starving yourself before a marathon and getting your dog’s eye out to spark your adrenaline, and squirting in your cheetah skirt if you want a BQ.

Recovery and Guess That GU for a Prize

I can’t thank you enough for taking time to read my race report, to comment and to travel the marathon journey with me through the peaks and valleys, the emotions, the squirt and the distance. See? I can talk about things other than farts and poop. I really do have a heart just like the tin man or scarecrow or whoever. I never liked that movie much anyway. I found it a bit creepy.

I am still basking in the glory of my BQ. I wish strangers would ask how I am so I could tell them about my race. Maybe I will go to the grocery store naked wearing only my medal and see if anyone asks (or calls the police).  I’d even like it if the slow guy at Target who gathers the carts and tells me daily about the time he went to New Mexico on a Greyhound bus, would ask about my race. Lord knows I’ve listened to him enough over the years. Can’t it be about me just this once? Can’t it??

Coming down from this high is like the day after Christmas. So much build up, such a great day, then status quo and the thought, “What’s next?”

Truth be told, I never thought much about recovery. All of my momentum was towards race day and after that, there was a blank space.

Recovery so far for me has consisted of coffee, Jodi Picoult, vet visits, Modern Family, wine. Some experts suggest recovering one day per each mile run. That would be 26 days and 4.8 hours (yeah, just did that off the top of my head) of recovery depression. No way am I doing that. Hell, I’ve got a triathlon in 24 days.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m going to go out today on a long crap-inducing run or hit the track for my ten Yassos (which, by the way, kind of worked. I did my 800s at 3:30-3:42 and ran a 3:42 marathon. That Bart is a genius. And I’m not talking about the one who says “Don’t have a cow, man” and, “I will not draw naked ladies in class.” If you have no clue what I’m talking about, google Yasso 800s).

My plan is to do a reverse taper, build back up slowly, incorporate lots of swimming/biking and start 16 weeks of marathon training on June 27 (not that I have it planned out or anything) for the Denver Rock ‘n Roll on October 17.

Yesterday I had a post-race massage. Do you get naked for your massages? I got naked and wore my medal (just kidding). Yes, I strip down, but I only go to women. You see, in Mexico at a resort (five years ago) I had a Latino masseur who took some liberties. Let’s just say he got close to the honeysuckle, if you know what I mean. He didn’t officially cross the line, but he was in the ballpark. I came back to the room and told Ken I thought I might have just cheated on him, but I didn't mean to. Since that time I’ve gone to women in the United States.

Today my massage therapist told me my legs felt great (I don’t think she was hitting on me. If so, that would be two possible lesbian hits in one week. A first for me!). Anyway, she said the legs were loose and amazing. I’m taking this as a fine recovery sign. Other signs of a good recovery?

• I can sit on the toilet with no pain
• My appetite has returned with a vengeance (I couldn’t really eat the first 24 hours after the race). Hello Jelly Bellies!
• I took a huge dump yesterday. My first one since those awful hershey squirts on race day
• I can think about running and not be totally repulsed
• I laughed again at Ashley falling off the treadmill on the Biggest Loser (okay, this is not about recovery, but they showed it like 95 times on Tuesday and I can relate because I too fell of a treadmill. And, what is up with Michael’s headband?)
• I’m not sick.

What do you do for recovery?

So…Outside PR just sent me their newest flavor of GU*. I am one of the first to try it. Guess what the flavor is and I’ll send you one (first 3 to get it right):

*This product was provided to me free of charge by Outside PR.

Colorado Marathon Race Report – Part Two

When we left off last, Tara and I were starting our marathon journey down the canyon. We parted ways as we had different time and pace goals.

With the pre-race night I had, I had no clue what I could or would bring to this race. I expected the best, but was prepared for the worst. The temps were about 30 degrees, the air was crisp and cool and the sun was just starting to emerge through the canyon. We were running to the east, so the sun warmed our faces. I had on my cheetah running skirt to make me think I could run fast. I had asked for and gotten this skirt from Running Skirts for Christmas specifically for this race. I only wore it once during training to make sure it didn’t chafe in all the wrong places. It didn't. And no, I never soiled it.

Here was my strategy going into the race - it wasn’t rocket science: Run the first two miles 10-15 seconds slower than race pace (8:40). Pick it up after that and maintain between an 8:30 and 8:40 pace for the remainder of the race. I wore a pace band, and set it for a 3:45 marathon to give me some wiggle room.

I was good for the first mile and took it slow.

Mile 1: 8:49

Mile 2: 8:27 (well, I kind of broke my rule on this one).

Another marathon rule I had was to drink at every aid station, alternating sports drink (Heed during this race) and water or drinking both. I stuck to this for the entire race with the exception of miles 24 and 25 when I couldn’t have given a shit, I just wanted to get to the finish. I had decided I would take a Hammer gel every five miles.

Mile 3: 8:28

Mile 4: 8:21

The sun was starting to really shine through now. No one on the course was talking. It was extremely peaceful with only the sound of running shoes on pavement and the white water flowing in the river only feet from the road.  I was completely and utterly in the present moment. I had decided to hold off on any music until at least the halfway point, and was very glad I did. There are so few moments in life when we are simply present. When we are not worried about much of anything, are not multi-tasking, are not distracted. We are just taking in what is before us. I did not know if I would make it 26.2 miles. I did not know if I would meet any of my goals. I did know I could put one foot in front of the other.

Mile 5: 8:19 – vanilla Hammer gel

Mile 6: 8:18

Mile 7: 8:22

At this point I decided to take advantage of the downhill and bank some time. I knew that these miles would be my fastest because once we got out of the canyon (about mile 17), it would flatten out and there would be some hills. I checked my pace band every mile and knew I was at least 2 minutes ahead of a 3:45 marathon. It was good to know I had a cushion if I needed to slow down later. I started to pass a girl and she said “Geez!” I asked her what was wrong and she said, “Well, if anyone passes me I look at their legs and if their legs are strong and toned like yours, I decide it’s okay for them to pass me.” Then she added, “But, I AM NOT GAY!” Her being gay was the last thing on my mind. Like I would worry about a lesbian hitting on me at this point anyway. She told me she was running her first marathon and wanted to break four hours. I told her she was WAY on track to do this. We would run together until about mile 18 when her husband jumped into the road blaring a trumpet. Made me totally crack up. I lost her. I hope she met her goal. I love runners.

Mile 8: 8:27

Mile 9: 8:22

You think about a lot of things while you run. Now I thought about Lucky and the fact that he would have his eye removed in the morning. I cried a bit. Lucky has the must stunning, big, beautiful brown eyes and it killed me to think one of them would be gone. I kept thinking about that quote that “the eyes are the window to the soul” and it broke my heart. I tried to file the sadness away, but sometimes it overtook me.

Mile 10: 8:17 – vanilla Hammer gel

Mile 11: 8:30

Mile 12: 8:11

I thought about the fact that I was nearing the halfway mark. I got such a mental boost when I thought I was coming up on mile 11, but it was really mile 12! At this point I knew Ken had started the half marathon and was on the same course. It gave me some comfort knowing he was close by. I hoped he was having a great race. What I didn't know was that he had blown out his calf at mile 3 and had to hobble the remaining 10 miles.

Mile 13: 8:07

Half marathon time: 1:49 – right on track for a BQ!

First marathon girl and I whooped and hollered as we passed the halfway point. There is something so mentally uplifting about knowing you are halfway. I had just congratulated myself for not having any poop emergencies when I had an unexpected squirt in the skort. It would be the only one for the race, but at the time I got a little freaked. It was so surprising I actually yelled out, “Shit!” And it was.

Mile 14: 8:04

Mile 15: 8:20 – Tried to take a chocolate Hammer. It was like tar. Threw it away after gagging

Mile 16: 8:32

As we came out of the canyon the sun was in full force. Mile 17 was the first point where we saw spectators. My only marathon experience was the Rock ‘n Roll Phoenix which had thousands of spectators and entertainment every step of the way. This was such a different experience. Seeing those people cheering me on as I cruised by was incredibly invigorating. I felt like I was flying.

Mile 17: 8:29

Mile 18: 8:06

I’m not a big Rod Stewart fan, but I have always loved the song Forever Young because of the message contained in the song. This was playing in my ear as I cruised by the spectators. May the good Lord be with you down every road you roam. May sunshine and happiness surround you when you’re far from home. May you grow to be proud, dignified and true. And do unto others as you'd have done to you…

Mile 19: 8:19

Mile 20: 8:21 – banana Hammer gel

There was a big ass climb called Bagel Hill between miles 19 and 20. I saw an aid station at the top and was concentrating on that. I powered up the hill. I had given myself permission to grab a drink at the aid station and walk through, drinking, until the trash can several feet away. It was mentally good to know I could take 10 seconds rest walking at each aid station if need be.

At mile 20 I had a great boost when Jill appeared to cheer me on and run with me for a bit. She really lifted my spirits – told me all the things everyone wants to hear at mile 20: “You look great!”, “It’s all downhill from here.” “You’re almost there.” Thanks Jill, I needed that!

Mile 21: 8:20

Mile 22: 8:50

Mile 23: 8:38

At this point, I had to dig deep. Everything below my waist hurt. I started to feel sick. I knew it was only three miles to the finish, and I knew that I had trained for this very moment. Here is where my mental strength would need to take over my body. I expected this to come and when it came, I was prepared. I dissociated from my physical body in a sense. I told myself I was tough. I told myself that nothing would keep me from my goal. I reminded myself that I was running towards my mom, dad, husband and kids who were at the finish line. It was Mother's Day. I teared up. I knew at most I would only be running another 25-30 minutes. I knew I could do anything for that amount of time.

Mile 24: 9:08

Slowest mile of the race and most challenging. I clung onto two girls beside me who were going for a similar time goal. This was the point at which a volunteer was trying to balance three feet of stacked HEED cups and just happened to let them fall right in my path. I was not in the mood for this and had to hurdle them to avoid falling. Freaking A!!!  I told myself I could slow down until mile 25. Then I agreed with myself I would pick it up for the rest of the race. Yes, I was talking to myself at this point.

Mile 25: 8:35

I knew I had done it. I knew I could walk the rest of the way (but I wouldn’t) and still make my goal. I started yelling “YES!” and a huge smile took over my face.

Mile 26: 8:29

I saw Ken, my biggest fan, at the 26 mile mark. I have never been so happy to see anyone in my life!! He yelled, “Go baby go. You’ve got this! Run to the finish!” I turned the corner and saw the FINISH line sign. It was SO close.

.2 mile: 8:10

I sped up, searching the crowd for my parents and kids. I saw them on the side lines and cheering me on. Sam took these photos:

I crossed the line and fell into my dad’s arms, sobbing. Then my mom’s. It came gushing out.  The stress fracture, the missed marathon in November, the weeks of training, the love and support of family and friends, Lucky.

    

Final stats: 3:42:36/ 8:28 pace/ 8th out of 70th in age group

And…I shaved 21 minutes off of my one/only marathon time (4:03 - 17 months ago)

Then reality set in and in perfect Shut Up and Run style I started to feel sick:

I knew all those gels wanted to get out via the colon. I headed to the porta potty and some guy in line said, “Cheetah girl! You were really kickin it at the end.” I said, “…and I got my Boston qualifier.” He started screaming, “Cheetah girl is going to Boston!” I love runners.

I knew we had to make it home and make it home quick. I spent the afternoon in bed and on the toilet. Who cares? One of the best days ever. By 5pm I was up for a margarita.

And at 7:30 the next morning Lucky got his eye removed.  He is fine. He still has one beautiful brown eye. He is one eyed and three legged. And he still has an erection.

Thanks for reading about my journey. Running is so much more than physical. It is about accomplishment, determination, discipline and success. It makes me a better person.

Colorado Marathon Race Report – Part One

I’ll start this lengthy report answering the question on everyone’s mind. Did I mess my pants during the race? The short answer is no, not really. I had a very unexpected squirt at mile 15, but other than that, did not so much as stop at a porta-potty to pee. I know, weird, right? I swear my body did well with the lack of fiber and dairy in the days leading up to the race. Plus, not by my choice, but I was unable to eat the night before the race or morning of. While I wouldn’t recommend this, I think my tummy being empty was key. More details on that later.

I’m going to be honest. Last week sucked. I was all nerves. I could not shake this feeling of almost dread about the race. I was not excited, I was anxious. I wanted to meet my goals so badly that I was putting tons of pressure on myself. I love to run, but my love of running had taken a backseat.

So, Saturday had me on edge. After a good day of distraction with the kids’ soccer game and piano recital we dumped them on my parents and headed up to the expo in Ft. Collins (45 mins away). It was pretty small and dumpy with just a few tables set up in a dark and windowless room. Schwag bag was nothing but one Hammer gel, a too small tech shirt and some coupons. We did get to see Tara and then went to drive some of the marathon course. This lifted my spirits a bit and got me kind of excited even. I mean, who wouldn’t want to run this (It’s the Poudre Canyon. People around here refer to it as the Poudre – pronounced “pooter.” If they are taking a drive in this canyon, they say they are going “up the pooter,” which always make me laugh. How can you say that with a straight face)?     

 

We then headed for home.  I’m such a control freak, I had it all figured out - get take out: buttered noodles with chicken. Go home and eat, have a small glass of wine for the nerves, put bib on shirt, chip on shoe, set coffee maker, lights out by 8:30pm for a 3:00am wake up call.

What’s that saying about God laughing when we make plans? All of my intentions fell to shit when we walked in the door at 7:30 and I took a look at my dog, Lucky. Let me remind you Lucky is not so lucky because he has three legs and a penis that always hangs out. Like lipstick, but much grosser. On this night, Lucky was especially unlucky as his eye was seeping goop and it looked like he had had a stroke. He was clearly in pain and sick.  I took him to a pet ER (never in the eight years we’ve had this dog have I had to do this). I figured it was only 7:30pm, so if the vet quickly took care of the problem, I would be on time for a 9pm bedtime. Six hours of sleep? Perfect.

As the hours ticked by I realized I would not be going anywhere anytime soon. I learned that Lucky needed the eye removed and it would be a late night. I started sobbing. You have to understand. I love my dog, but I’m not someone who is going to sink tons of money into keeping an old dog with a big penis alive. But how can you put a dog down because of a bad eye? And my kids are so attached to this damn dog. And I might be a little attached too.

Emma (at age 3) with her dog, Lucky

The vet must have thought I was especially emotional about my dog losing his eye. After all I was carrying on like Jake from the Bachelor.  Yes, that was part of it. But the other part was that I needed to get to bed for the race, dammit. I considered not doing the marathon. How could I do it on no sleep and all this stress? Finally, I called my friend who is a vet and we decided to give Lucky pain meds and take him home and do the surgery first thing Monday.

I got home at 11:30pm. I had not had my dinner and couldn’t eat it anyway. Lucky had a cone on his head and was high from all the drugs. He was running into everything.  I had a glass of wine and tried to sleep. I got to sleep by midnight. 3am came early and I looked like shit  this:

It was not pretty. I was not pretty. In fact, I was downright stressed and depressed. I felt for sure I would bonk at mile five and run a really slow race. All that training out the window, for nothing. I would be lucky to break my first marathon time of 4:03.

But, here’s where the human spirit perseveres and prevails!! I met Tara at the buses at 4:15am. She was as much of a mess as I was. We were both hoping for a rock slide or avalanche so the race would be called off, but we would not be quitters.  It was a lifesaver having her there on that long bus ride up the canyon. We tried to eat, but there was some dry heaving. The girl behind us threw up. We got off the bus in darkness and both laid down some nuggets in the porta potties. We huddled up for warmth at the start, hugged, cried and started out.

Stay tuned…

It’s All About Me Today

You all believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself…

 

3:42:36

 

Which means BOSTON!!

Right now I have the runs so the race report will have to come later. It’ll be a good one, so check back.

Where Do You Buy Your Underwear?

You like how I listen to you guys? Check out the new layout. While some of you liked the old one, some thought it was hard to read. Hard to read my ass, you’re right! So, voila. Don’t say I never listen to you.

As you know I’m coming up on #2. Not in the bodily function sense, but in the marathon sense. My #2 is in three days. Thank God my next poop is not in three days.

What I've noticed is that the days leading up to a marathon find me doing things I would not normally do. Obsessively checking the weather, putting gels in my running skirt and running around the house to see how they feel tuck in there, eliminating fiber and dairy (yeah, if you think that’s overboard, you haven’t taken a run with me before – the urge to crap and the frequency with which this happens, sometimes in trees, is no joke. I’ll do anything to minimize the problem come race day). Another thing I do before marathons is go to the thrift store. Where else can you get layers of clothes to throw away on the sidelines of the race as you warm up? Usually I shop at Nordstrom for my throwaways, but given the recession, I’m scaling back.

I love me a good consignment store. To me, they are not thrift stores. I don’t know if there really is a difference, but in my pea brain the difference is enormous. The consignment store has designer clothes that are gently used. As in, minimal wear and tear, and only delicate farting has been done in these threads. The thrift store, however, is hard core. Anything goes. Corduroy from the 70s. Granny underwear. Sheets. Ewww – other' people's sheets. That’s just wrong.

I only go to the thrift store on two occasions: 1. to buy my underwear to shop for Halloween crap for my kids 2. prior to a race, especially one that will be freaking freezing at the start. There are very few things I hate worse than being cold.  One thing that’s worse is overflowing toilets in stranger’s homes. Another is putting diesel in my car by mistake. Other than that, being cold takes the cake.

Let me remind you that my race starts at almost 7,000 feet in the Colorado mountains. By my estimate it should be about 25*-30* at the start. And dark. With all that waiting around one has to do for the damn thing to start already, it will be chillier than that witches tit you saw on Halloween (in the thrift store).

Why is it when you walk into a thrift store the smell takes your breath away? What is that smell? Dirty feet plus Clorox plus mold? I can’t quite figure it out. Realistically it is the combined stench of thousands of unwashed pieces of clothing all in one place. Ick. But hot damn if you can’t find some great stuff! Whenever I get my throw away marathon clothes, I find myself getting attached to them and not wanting to throw them away after all. In fact, I bought Ken a black sweatshirt for his pre-race warmth. He took one look at it and said, “I might have to keep this! It’s nice.” No matter the fact he didn’t go to DU and has never held a hockey stick in his life. The thrift store lets you reinvent yourself!

As for me, I scored some great banana yellow lacrosse sweats and a killer zip up sweat shirt.

I feel like Jillian in these sweats since she always wears this style. Here is my best Jillian impression:

This is where I am yelling at someone for falling off the treadmill and puking. What the eff is your problem anyway? You think a little barf and tumble into the wall is going to slow you down? NOW GET BACK ON AND RAMP IT UP TO 12 MPH before I sit on your face!

I couldn’t stop there. I got the coolest Barbie blanket for Tara and me to cuddle under while we’re waiting for the gun. I hope she lets me get to second base:

Oh, and I couldn’t resist this $2.49 shirt (or especially short dress. I am going to Vegas at the end of the month after all. Some lace underwear and heels and I’ll be all set):

I’m going to end with a sweet little story. You know how I love it when people think of me when they poop/fart, etc? It’s so sweet. Well, this week I was honored in the most delicious of ways. Bootchez from Back of the Pack let me know she dedicated her marathon this past weekend to me. Why did she do this, you ask? Because she took two shits before even starting the race and two more while racing. Not in her pants mind you, but still.  While she acted kind of surprised that she had this much turd honking for the right of way, I think I know the culprit. Her pre-race words said it all:

“We rolled out of bed at 4:30 am, and I tucked into my planned breakfast.  Traditionally this has been a Egg McMuffin from McDonald's, but I figured a little similar pre-made thing from 7-11 would also fit the bill.  I have tried this in the past on a long training run, and it seemed to set right in my stomach and logistically was easier to obtain (since 7-11 is right down the street).  In any case, egg-muffin-and-a-coke and I was ready to go.”

Oh, Bootchez! You are one brave girl. Hats off!

And always remember what the wise say: “Man who fart in church sit in own pew.”

Anything Can Happen

Do me a favor? Take the poll to the right –> sometimes the blog layout shows up differently than I see it, so I want to make sure I am optimizing your reading pleasure.

With only six days to go until the marathon, I’m in full taper mode. I’m pretty sure I’m coming down with Malaria and have several stress fractures in my left foot. Or at the very least I’ve got some parasite that will cause me to spontaneously crap and lose feeling in my legs come Sunday.

For sure, I’ve got butterflies.

When I tell non-running people I’m feeling some nerves about the race, they always say the same thing, “You’ll do fine. You can run that far, you’ve done it before.” What they don’t get is that the distance is not the issue. I could lace up my shoes and go out and run 26.2 miles right now if I wanted to. The issue is I have a way in which I want to run the race. I’ve got time goals. Friends, I have plans!!! Plans that I do not want thwarted by blisters, snow, crappy pants, the need to pee, cramps, or any other issues the running gods want to throw at me.

Having plans reminds me of talking to my OB in my last month of pregnancy. I told him how the birth was going to go. He stood there, smirking, shaking his head. He said something like, “That all sounds great. But be prepared to throw it out the window at any moment because anything can happen.” Isn’t there some saying about God laughing when we make plans?

The doc was spot on. I never anticipated soiling the delivery table numerous times or the epidural not taking or my son being sunny side up instead of face down (eggs anyone?), or all that blood or baby having to be suctioned out by some crazy vacuum like device causing him to look like a conehead from SNL in the 80s. But it all worked out anyway, and was one of the best days of my life. Sunny side up is 12 years old now, and the way it went on that October day years ago was perfect.

Here’s what I know: I’ve put in the time. I’ve done the work. I am strong. I am fit. I cannot control the weather. I cannot control my unpredictable bowels. I can, however, expect the best and remember the point of it all: I love to run, and if I lose sight of that, the big picture, I’ve got nothing.

Just Because

It’s snowing here today. Yes, I said snowing. Yesterday it was 80 degrees. If it snows on marathon day I’m going to bring a noose to the start line, find a tree and…

Snow is not out of the realm of possibility for the race. After all, it’s only 9 days out and the race starts at 6,108 feet. I’m no meteorologist (I can’t even spell it), but sometimes it snows up that high. If I understand correctly, we board busses at 4:30 a.m. at 4,981 feet and take a long and windy ride on up to 6,000 ft. I love it when you get to ride the course you are going to run so you can witness first hand how long it takes to drive 26.2 miles as well as every hill, twist and turn. It’s good for the psyche.

The race starts promptly at 6:00 a.m., which seems a tad early, but being Mother’s Day this should give me ample time to go out to brunch afterwards with the family and spend the whole time in the bathroom.

Yesterday was a damn good day around here. I had a 7.5 mile run in 30 mph winds. Lucky, (three legged Cocker) licked his balls a good part of the afternoon. My son’s baseball team got clobbered so much so that the good old slaughter rule was enacted and the game ended early. Aunt Flow came to visit in all her glory. I’m trying to stop drinking wine during the week, ‘nuf said. The Hills Season premier was on and despite her efforts, Heidi did not look anything like my daughter’s Barbie doll. Dammit. I was so going to have 90 plastic surgeries (and make sure Ken had them too)  if we could look like this:

Despite my sarcasm, let me tell you why it really was a good day. I had one of those “just because moments.” You know the ones. Where someone, stranger or otherwise, does something exceptional  for you with no ulterior motive, no hope for anything in return. Out of pure kindness. These moments stand out because they don’t happen that often. It’s the stranger who holds your hand on the airplane when you’re afraid (pervert!), or the friend who shows up unexpectedly at your door with a bottle of wine just because she knew your dog died (he licked his balls off).

What was my just because moment? Let me back up here. Tara from Loves Life in Colorado and I became blogger friends many months ago when we both realized we lived in the Denver area and that we were both running the Rock ‘n Roll San Antonio Marathon in November ‘09. Our friendship and commonalities further expanded when we both had to drop out of the race (me with a stress fracture, Tara with a pulmonary embolism – yeah, she always has to one-up me). We commiserated through recovery and both were able to start training again at about the same time. We discovered we had yet again both signed up for the same race: the Colorado Marathon. We met for one long run in Denver (with blogger Jill) and continued to keep in touch regarding training, etc.

Fast forward to yesterday when I got this in the mail from Tara:

 

She has one too. This is seriously one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. It holds obvious sentimental value, is incredibly unique and was given just because. This necklace comes from a new company called Silver Maple. All jewelry is made with sterling silver and copper and can honor any occasion: a race, the birth of a child, or a special sentiment. Gorgeous stuff. Thanks Tara! Here’s hoping 5.9.10 is a good one for us with no nooses or snow.

What’s a just because moment you’ve had lately (or one you’ve given someone else)?

Suck It, Wall

Here’s how my taper is going (yes, Jamoosh, those are all microbrews):

In my quest to run a flawless marathon during which I meet me time goal, do not mess my pants. and feel energized and pain free the entire time, I have been doing some reading. Mentally preparing you could call it.

Last week, I referenced an article by Michael Bane called, “Breaking through the wall” (Men’s Fitness, 1999). There was discussion of pre-race brain training. Now it’s time to look at how to avoid the wall (i.e., an apparently insurmountable physiological barrier which stops you in your tracks), and if you can’t do that, then what to do when you hit it and hit it hard. We are assuming when your face slams up against that invisible vertical concrete slab, you will not consider quitting. It is simply not an option (unless you are injured, paralyzed, get your period or your legs fall off).

The following is from the same above-referenced article:

Five ways to avoid the Wall (but, there are no guarantees): 

1. Train realistically. Athletes have a remarkable talent for self-deception. The best way to know how you'll respond in a situation is to practice that situation first. If you're training for a marathon, at least one of your training runs needs to be 26 miles. If you're training for a race that takes place at night, some of your training needs to be at night.
2.  Cross train. The more you move toward harder endurance events such as a marathon, the more overall balance seems to pay off. I like to trade off sports (for example, biking and running) to keep my interest up and injuries down. The added plus is that my overall higher level of fitness helps carry me through longer events.
3.  Avoid judgments. Fine athletes talk themselves into quitting because they were running below par. You need to set these judgments aside on race day.
4. Prepare mentally. Forget happy talk; you're going to hurt. But you know that already. In my mental rehearsals, I try to be as realistic as possible and acknowledge that it's going to be painful. I also remind myself that, despite it all, I've crossed a lot of finish lines.
5. Plan flexibly. Remember, long athletic events tend to be chaos systems. You can't foresee everything nature is going to throw at you. Mental flexibility is your greatest tool for getting past the Wall.

Six things to do when you hit the Wall

1. Say, “shit, shit, shit.” (I added that one)
2. Keep going. "Program" yourself before the event that you're going to press on regardless, even if you're barely moving.
3. "Table" your thoughts. The easiest way to quiet those negative thoughts is to set them aside. Sometimes I actually visualize a locker-like box, where I stuff all my negative thoughts away until I have the time and energy to deal with them.
4. Get out of your head. Don't dwell on how amazingly awful you feel. Focusing on a really attractive woman running nearby can be a great distraction. I've done it, and it works. Hormones are wonderful things.
5. Try bribery. Depending on just how bad you're feeling, a judicious dose of deferred compensation can help. I've gotten myself out of some grim times with the promise of a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food if l cross the finish line. (The bribes can get pretty big: At one point, I had to buy myself a motorcycle.)
6. Open negotiations. Give yourself permission to quit if you'll only go another 10 feet ... another quarter mile ... even around the next corner. I have climbed entire mountains by cutting interim deals: "Another 200 vertical feet, then I'll sit down and reevaluate ..." After that 200 feet, it's, "Hey, I don't feel so bad ... maybe I'll go another 45 minutes and then I'll quit." Keep repeating this until you're so close to finishing that you can say, "What the heck? Let's wrap this puppy up."

I think it’s all great advice, especially the one about “getting out of your head.” I distract myself with attractive women as well.

The one point I take issue with is, “If you're training for a marathon, at least one of your training runs needs to be 26 miles.” This is a personal choice, but for me, running 26 miles is too hard on my body to do twice in one training cycle. My long runs (10+ miles) this training season were 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 11, 16, 18. 5, 18. 5, 13.

Thoughts?

Q & A Time

I don’t get tons of questions from bloggers. Probably because I’m no expert on anything, and everyone knows it.  But, occasionally I get a query and I don’t want to leave you hanging. So, read on:

Apple Crumbles asked, “The day after a long run, say 18 - 22 miles or even a marathon, do you feel depressed or cranky? I'm trying to figure out if I refueled correctly or if it's simply over stressing.”

Hello my Apple Crumble friend! What are apple crumbles anyway? Reminds me of cobbler or streusel…hmmm…streusel.  But, I digress. Yes, I get a bit out of whack the day after a long run or a race. Mostly it’s because I’m usually taking the day off and don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not running and getting that adrenaline fix. However, sometimes, I’m just glad to have the freaking day off!

Certainly after a race, especially a marathon, there is that mental letdown of knowing what you have worked for over the past months has come and gone. My advice, be kind to yourself and don’t spend too much time dwelling on if/why you’re in the mood you’re in. Just re-focus and put your energies elsewhere. Like making something with apples that crumbles and sending it to me.

FitMacDaddy proclaimed, “Man, I would not be a runner if I had your intestines! I can't even poop in someone else's house, let alone on the side of the road. I've been known to hold in my poops for entire camping trips!”

Then he wanted to know, “What is your marathon goal now that you're such a speedster?”

Wow, Mac Daddy. My hope for you is that you never go on a two week camping trip. And not pooping in people’s houses? That’s hard core. I think I’ve stopped-up every toilet of every friend and acquaintance I’ve ever had. Then there was one time at that frat party, but I won’t go into that.

As far as my marathon goal – did you just call me a speedster? I think I love you. Seriously. My goal is a very original one. I don’t think any other blogger has ever mentioned it: to BQ. But in reality, I like to have several goals when racing. I’d take any of these end results, but would prefer #3:

1. Beat 4:03, the time of my first marathon
2. Break 4 hours
3. BQ by coming in under 3:50:59. I have been training to run a 3:45 marathon, but we all know just because you train for a certain time doesn't mean you get that time. A girl can hope and dream, can’t she?
4. Win the race by running a 2:12 marathon. Totally doable.

Jennifer (URL not available) queried, “You may have answered this question before but do you carry TP with you on all your runs? The pooping doesn't concern me as much as the wiping. If you do have TP with you what do you do with it?”

Excellent question. No, I do not carry TP and I’ll tell you why. The roll does not fit in my fuel belt. Really, I don’t carry it because the whole thing is gross and inappropriate and yucky with or without the TP. If I use TP then I have to stay in the shit position longer, find a way to dispose of the TP (I am NOT carrying it home along side of my cell phone), and be aware of how much I am NOT washing my hands after wiping. And if I want to wash my hands after wiping that means I need to bring some antibacterial soap and it just never ends. Kind of like that book, “If You Give a Mouse a Pancake” and how he’s going to want syrup and a plate and a napkin to go with it. Live simply.

LMC stated, “I absolutely love the new background on your blog. Is it the Colorado River?”

I have no clue what it is. I would like to lie and say that yes, in fact, it is the Colorado River and I took this picture while I kayaked down thus river right after running a marathon. But truth be told, I got this off of the new blogger/draft site. If you haven’t visited this site and you’re with Blogger, give it a try. It will improve the aesthetics of your blog and we will all thank you for it.

Steve Q. questioned, “Can glow sticks be used as tampons?”

Fantastic question, Steve. I have never used a glow stick as a tampon, and I’m guessing it’s not advisable. I know things get dark in there, but do we really need to make it glow?

Kim exclaimed, “I did 18 miles this morning and thought of you. I was jogging along, working out the morning farts when all of a sudden - RED ALERT - it was not just a fart. Got it clamped in time but had to find a bathroom fast - luckily the assisted living place nearby was open. Thanks, old people!”

She then asked, “Aren't you glad I think of you when I have to crap in the middle of a run?”

I am wiping tears from my keyboard right now because of how touched I am. When people crap and they do so in my name or at the very least think of me during the act, it is incredibly flattering. BTW, going poop in an assisted living place is genius. You could do it on the seat or even in your pants and it would be par for the course. You could also steal a couple of Depends on your way out.

Apple C. wanted to know, “What are the Hammer / Heed products? Can you offer a link? I have a whole box of GU but I can't stand the stuff.”

So, my crumble friend, have you made my dessert yet?

The Hammer/Heed products are all the rage, especially for those of us plagued by GI issues when we run.  Their claim to fame is that the gel and sport’s drink products are full of ingredients that are easier to digest than most sport’s stuff out there. You can read to your heart’s content HERE, but basically you get a tasty and affordable product with the essential carbs (23 g.) and electrolytes, but it’s gentler on the tummy. Only 2 g. of sugar. The sport’s drink, HEED, is less sweet than most drinks because Hammer uses Xylitol - “a natural substance that can be found in a variety of fibrous fruits and vegetables.” Check it out. I ordered 32 serving powder for about $20. And Ms. Apple, they have an apple spice gel that is yummy. Without crumbles.

Sarah admitted, “I actually had potty issues on my long run today and I thought of you....is that strange??”

No, Sarah, not strange at all. Many people think of me when they have “potty issues.” I’m pretty sure Obama takes dumps with me on his mind.

Meg noted, “Super run and hey, YOU QUOTED Buddha on my blog! You never cease to amaze me with your depth and breadth....from poop to the very spiritual. You didn't make that quote up, did you? Just wonderin'.”

Meg! Do you realize you just gave me credit for creating something said by Buddha! No, I didn’t make up that quote. It came right from the big bellied God himself.  He who thinks I write like Buddha will have the kingdom of heaven at their fingertips.

Any other questions or queries? Any add-ons to my answers? Go for it.

The Urge to Pee

My mood is much improved today, in large part due to your comments. They made me LOL and I never use that little acronym, but it fits today. Actually, let's go far as to say I LMFAO or LMFAOWROFL. If you can tell me what that stands for I'll give you something. Did I ever tell you that for the longest time I thought LOL meant "lots of love" and I could never figure out why people used it when they did. For example: "My dog is dragging his ass on the carpet" Response: "LOL!" (lots of love?? why would you respond with lots of love?). Then I got a grip and figured it out or one of my kids told me.

This is NOT my dog, but this is the funky butt drag. This looks like it hurts:

One of my favorite comments today regarding embarrassing moments was from Julie:

When I was going to college I worked as a food server. On our menu we had a platter with different appetizers. I was serving a table of six business men. They ordered a few of these platters. I delivered the platters, set them down, and said, "Here you are gentlemen, your appetizer platters. Here are your three sauces...this is ranch, here is the cocktail sauce and this one is cucumber dick! Oh my God, I mean cucumber dip!"

Cucumber DICK! It just doesn't get funnier than that.

Another reason my mood has improved as that Joie and I got in a 7.75 mile run. It was muddy and snow-packed, but good to be outside moving the legs.

And a third reason my mood has improved is that registration for the first ever Denver Rock 'n' Roll Marathon has opened! It is on October 17, 2010. If you are one of the first few hundred to sign up you get major bucks off: just $70 for the full and $50 for the half. Because I cannot turn down a deal, I registered for the full. I think you should too and then we could meet face to face and then we could LOL throughout the whole race and maybe even COP (crap our pants) which is no joke if you run with me.

Here is my current 2010 race rundown:

May 9, 2010: Colorado Marathon
May 31, 2010: Bolder Boulder 10K
June 6, 2010: Longmont Triathlon
August 14, 2010: Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon
October 17, 2010: Rock 'n' Roll Denver Marathon

These are the ones set in stone. I'm sure others will come up. I'd like to have a few 5Ks sprinkled in there along with a couple more halves (halfs?). And of course, if anyone is going to pay my way like last year and invite me on their team: the Hood to Coast Relay in August. Anyone ever done the Wine Country Runs Half in March? This is getting expensive.

Lastly, I leave you with this gem. In a world where we have every convenience at our fingertips, it's a wonder why it took so long for someone to come up with this: http://www.runpee.com/. Let's say you go to the movies a lot and you have to pee during the movies a lot (or you had Mexican for lunch and pee is the least of your worries). This website is for you! It tells you what the best times are during specific movies to use the facilities. This is genius. Seriously, check it out.


Drinking: Yogi Green Mint Tea.

What I Won't Do This Year & Some Commandments

The whole blog world is talking 2010 resolutions and goals. This makes me think I should have these things. But what if you're the type who wants no self improvement, is completely content with every aspect of everything at every moment? If you know this person, let's beat them up, cause it's certainly not me.

Here are things I'm not going to do:

1. Get injured. Seriously. If I get injured again and can't run I'm going to make all of your lives miserable.


2. Drink as much wine. I don't think I have a problem (burp), but I wonder how much better I might feel and how much stronger my running might be if I cut back


3. Cuss at my children. Because it's just not nice (Joie, that one's for you)


4. Lose weight. I know. I must be in the minority on this one. I'm happy where I'm at.


5. Exercise more. Again, minority. I think I'm okay in this area. Let's face it, like you all, I ran so much I hurt myself. No problem with exercising here.


6. Hang out with people who bring me down. 'Nuf said.


7. Get fixated on stupid stuff that doesn't matter. That is, not sweating the small stuff


8. Let fear get in the way. I decided this one awhile ago when I thought I was being too controlled by my fears. They were getting in the way of my living. I stopped being afraid and started taking leaps.


9. Miss a chance to hang out with and enjoy someone I love.


10. Compare myself to anyone else

My 16 week training for the Colorado Marathon starts a week from today. I'm up to six pain-free miles, so I think I'm ready to start a structured plan. To avoid shooting myself in the head yesterday while on the elliptical I listened to a podcast by Endurance Planet. Ever hear of Ultra marathoner Marshall Ulrich and his "Ten Commandments of Endurance"? They apply to each and every one of us who runs. I think I love this man and his wisdom:

10. Expect a journey and a battle--

"Life is not always simple. Don't think that it's just going to be smooth and not a rocky road. Accept that in your mind and then you can deal with things."

9. Focus on the present and set intermediate goals----

"Don't get too far ahead of yourself. Just stay in the present. If you've got some sort of problem…just deal with that. Take a deep breath and solve that one problem and then you can go on to others."

8. Don't dwell on the negative--

"I think it helps to step outside of ourselves and not live in our own space or our own head too much. Look at what's happening out there and focus on even problems of the world or other people. It kind of takes that focus from ourselves."

7. Transcend the physical--

"If you've got an injury, say you've twisted an ankle and you want to keep going--providing you're not doing damage to yourself--take that focus off that ankle. You can keep going as long as you don't get locked into thinking about it continuously. You can transcend that physical aspect."

6. Accept your fate---

"Just accept it for what it is and take it one step at a time."

5. Have confidence that you will succeed---

Recall experiences, "where you've had success in the past. It will give you confidence to go beyond what you normally thought you could."

4. Know that there will be an end---

"There will be an end and we can go on to more fertile soil."

3. Suffering is okay---

"That's the human condition. We're all going to suffer on one level or another."

2. Be kind to yourself---

"If you're running and you need to walk a little bit. That's okay. Know that you have weaknesses just like anybody else."

1. Quitting is not an option---

"Everybody is going to think about quitting. I think about quitting. But you can't let it overwhelm you. You can't let it stop you from your success. And if you frame it in that way--that quitting is not an option--I think that's the best thing to do."


And I leave you with this video of me and the fam in the Colorado mountains today as we rode tubes down a ridiculously steep hill. Just because it makes me smile (if the video keeps pausing, hit pause and wait for it to load completely before watching):

The Dog Did It

Yay! I won, I won!! Thanks to JoyRuN I am now the proud owner of a Popener and some tasty popcorn. At least my abs are good for something:

Before I get too heavily into my own stuff, major congrats to you BQ'ers out there: skinnyrunner and aron. Awesome and incredible job this past weekend.


I've signed up for the Colorado Marathon on May 9, 2010. There is no turning back now. Coming back from the stress fracture, I am only up to running 25 minutes or about 3 miles at a time. I figure if I slowly up my weekly mileage without upping my speed or frequency, I should be okay. You know me, I'm all about that ten percent rule these days. I have 150 days train.

I think I'm going to make up my own training plan. I will run 40 miles per week and do it all in one day.

Gotcha.

Not sure which plan to use. Whichever one is going to be easiest on my body and allow for cross training. I'm sure you are all waiting with bated breath. Is it "bated" breath? Or "baited" breath? Or "baded" breath? It's like that saying, "for all intents and purposes." For my whole life until I turned 42 I thought it was, "for all intensive purposes." And I even have a master's degree. I am going to sue the University of Denver for negligence. I am still dumb after all of those credit hours.

What training plan did you use for a race and what were the pros and cons? The one and only marathon I ran I did with Team in Training (TIT for short), so they provided the plan. I'm a bit lost.

When I got up today, it was -15 degrees. I thought about running outside. For a second. Then decided that I would not look good running a marathon in May if I had no fingers. I went to the gym instead and hung with the weirdos. Myself included. No one talked on their cell phone near me. They know I will take out my AK-47 and shoot them dead if they do that.

Here is some Christmas cheer from my family to yours. NEVER forget how much I love farts.

I have to admit, everytime I watch it, I laugh out loud.

Drinking: Yogi Detox Tea

Up Close and Personal (video)

My first video message to you:

I have missed my calling. I think I should have my own talk show televised from the stairs of my house. It could be called "Live with Beth and Tripod."

There is something about taking charge, putting yourself in the driver's seat of your life, that makes you feel empowered. We've all been in that spot where we believe we are victims of our circumstances. We think, "Oh well, it will never get better than this. This crap I call my life is just my fate."

Wrong. But you have to be the right place for change and forward movement.

Now, let's apply this to me, because it is all about me, and my life is just that fascinating.

Eight weeks, five days, ten hours and 13 minutes ago I incurred a stress fracture in my cuboid bone. Never heard of the cuboid bone? Me neither. I don't think it's really a bone. Anyway, this has been my "story" for the past 2 months. I made it who I was. The girl who loves to run and couldn't run the race she'd been training for.

I read something yesterday that put things into perspective:

Events reveal people's characters; they don't determine them. If two people are hit by a bus and crippled for life, one will become a bitter shut-in; the other, the kind of warm, outgoing person whom everyone loves to be with. It's not about the bus. You have the chance to be the person you wish to be, until you die.

Are you a bitter shut-in?

Maybe I'll write a book called, "It's Not About the Bus."

And now I've GOT A PLAN.

Although I can't really start any "real" sort of running for a few more weeks, my goal is to do the Colorado Marathon on May 9. Working backwards from this date, I've come up with what my training will look like going forward (you can tell I am totally following the ten percent rule this time. I am going to worship this rule like my own personal Jesus, especially if it keeps me from injury). I hope to be an example of someone who started out really small (walk 2 mins, run 3 mins), and got really big (marathon).

Week one:
walk 2, run 3
walk 2, run 3
walk 1, run 4

Week two:
walk 1, run 4
run 20 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 20 mins @9 min/mile pace

Week three:
run 20 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 22 mins@9 min/mile pace
run 22 mins @9 min/mile pace

Week four:
run 22 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 25 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 25 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 25 mins @9 min/mile pace

Week five:
run 27 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 27 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 27 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 30 mins @9 min/mile pace

Week six:
run 30 mins @9 min/mile pace
run 30 mins @9 min/mile pace

From here I'll move onto a 14 week marathon training plan. Then I can work on increasing speed and getting back to where I was pre-injury. And by May 9, 2010, hopefully I'll be back to this:

Me running a race with my dress flowing in the wind. My kids cheering me on. The Rocky Mountains as my back drop. An iPod growing out of my left tit. My fists balled into sweating lumps. Photos stolen from Brightroom.

Yes, my plan looks kind of boring. Yes, it is very slow going. I am not a patient person. I don't do things gradually. But I have no choice.

What are you trying to be patient about today?