The Best Gift Ever

I found this piece of paper on my desk yesterday, made by my 9 year daughter.

Clearly she is not a teenager yet because she still thinks I’m cool.

I have often wanted to ask my kids, “How could I be a better mom?” But, then I am too scared. Will they have a laundry list that highlights all of my inadequacies? Will I find out what I have feared – that I have failed them?

The reason her gift means the world to me is not because it pictures things I love. Not because she hit the nail on the head regarding Boston (love how she calls it “the Boston.”) Not because she said nice things about me.

Because it shows her heart. Kind, compassionate, outwardly focused, creative, intuitive, selfless, beautiful.

I am so not the perfect mother. I can cringe thinking of things I have habitually done wrong or have not done at all. However, I do believe I have taught and modeled one thing really well.

When you love someone, you support them in their passions. You care about what they do, who they spend time with, how they feel. You are around. A lot. Just in case they need you. You give them space to be who they are, yet check back frequently to see how their journey is going. You can be counted on.You do what you say you are going to do.

I have never told my daughter I was nervous about Boston.  And, no, she does not read the blog. But, she obviously knows about my injury (crutches are a decent giveaway). How she knew yesterday, the day of my first run in three months, I would so need to read her words, I’ll never know. But, she knew.

Loving someone sometimes means showing up in the most unexpected of ways.

You bet I’ll be carrying this gift with me on April 18.

SUAR

8 Minutes to Boston

I like to call this the 8 to 230 Training Plan.

8 minutes = what I ran today

230 minutes = what I might run in Boston if I have a really, really freaking amazing day.

It could be more like 500. I am fine with that. I have to be.

Today is a big, big day. After exactly 3 months of being injured, I was granted the honor of going for a run. For 8 minutes. That was my ration.

Someone asked me recently why I spent three hours online the day of the Boston Marathon registration to make sure I got in. Why did I sit at my keyboard crying tears of frustration each time my application wouldn't go through?

I had to think about that for a minute. Really think. I had just learned of my stress fracture, and was feeling quite uncertain about my running future. What raced through my head was: I worked too hard to qualify and if I don’t get in today, I might not ever qualify again. This was it.

What else has to do with 8 minutes?

• Light takes 8 minutes to reach the earth from the sun
• It took Ada 8 (minus 2) minutes to take a dump on the Biggest Loser during her marathon
• If you keep an 8 minute mile average pace, you will run a 3:30 marathon
• Some men take 8 minutes. Doing what? You decide.

Today, mother nature was f*cking with me. I woke to snow and –2 degrees. Sure, it’s pretty around here, but it’s that colder than a witch's tit kind of cold.

View from my back porch this a.m. I live in a shit hole:

Here’s the lake where I love to run. I really wanted to be out here today, but my feet can’t tolerate the cold. Wah, wah, I know. But, I’ve had frostbite and I have Raynaud’s Syndrome, so lay off (do not Google image it, it’s gross. did you just Google it? don’t you listen?):

I begrudgingly got on the treadmill. The doctor said I could do my 8 minutes all at once, or spread them out. Wow, all 8 minutes at once would have made for a *very* short little midget workout, so I spread it out like this:

How did it go, you ask? I hoped it would be all euphoria, ecstasy and angels singing. But, in truth, I could have cried. It hurt. I’m stiff. My body feels off and wrong. Wonky. Is that even a word? That’s how I feel. 2.6 miles total. Please tell me it will get better.

Wonky: weird, whacked out, messed up, not working for no definable reason. synonym = pecker {source: Urban Dictionary}.

Pecker? Really? As in, “My body just feels pecker today?”

The good news is, I don’t think I’ve lost much fitness in the past three months. I have been dedicated to water running (because that Shut Up and Run Girl told me to) at least five times per week. I've been doing yoga and some swimming. Recently, I got on the bike trainer.

Last week I did this:

After my 8 minutes I went to the Starbucks’ drive-thru and my mood slightly improved when I saw this little snow man. Who knew the Starbuck’s baristas were so creative? Looks like he just pissed or has the runs.

Do you think it really will get better?

Trying to stay positive,

SUAR

Uses for Tampons and an 18 Miler

Running tip:  Help your body recover after a long run by feeding it some protein within the first 30-60 minutes after finishing. Chocolate milk, an egg sandwich or a bagel with peanut butter are all good options.

Wow, you guys are good at the hidden object game. You must have read Highlights magazine when you were children. I used to love the hidden pictures. Still do.

You also really know your tampons. Yes, it was a tampon. Naturelle brand. Let me tell you why I have this particular tampon when I don’t even wear tampons (I can’t. I had Toxic Shock Syndrome way back when and still am not supposed to wear them). You see, I was at the Taylor Swift concert the other night with my eight year old daughter and 16,000 other screaming girls under the age of 15 using their glow sticks as microphones. Anyway, we went to the bathroom and I noticed free tampons and pads. I don’t turn down anything that is free, so I stuffed it in my purse. You never know, one of the 16,000 screaming girls could have gotten her period for the first time and I would need to save the day. Always good to have it on hand. After all, I can think of lots of other uses for a tampon (besides the obvious):

• Spin the tampon game
• Trail marker so you don’t get lost
• Plugging up holes in a boat
• Pull cord for a lamp or ceiling fan
• Rescue float for Lifeguard Barbie
• Dabber for greasy pizza

Winners!

Beth gets a giveaway entry for being the first to guess what it was

Tara gets three entries for guessing the brand (dang girl, you nailed it, did you study tamponology in school or something?)

Paul gets three entries for being the only guy brave enough to write the word “tampon” in the comments

Shellspotgirl gets three entries for guessing the brand

Today I got up at the ass crack of dawn to get in my 18 miler before the chaos of the day began. It was pretty uneventful. I ran the first half with no music and tried to stay focused on my breath and to be at one with my body. For the second half, I decided to screw being present with my body and opted to be distracted by my iPod. I find I’m faster with the music. I tried Hammer/Heed products today – Melon flavored drink and an apple spice gel. These products are much less sweet than most others and I liked the lack of sugar. I had absolutely no tummy trouble. Just a couple skid marks. Success! I also ran in my new Nike Dri Fit socks, which are supposed to protect from blisters. They worked like a charm.

 Overall, I did 18.5 miles in 2:44 with an avg pace of 8:54.

I’ve only got two long runs left – another 18 and a 15. Only four weeks until race day.

Post run, I went directly to the Starbucks drive thru where I got a large coffee and an egg sandwich. Decided get some good karma points and told the cashier I wanted to pay for the lady behind me. Turns out she ordered some large ass drink and a sandwich. I wanted to be nice, but not that nice. Don’t people just order small hot chocolates anymore?

What was your long run this weekend? Does music make you faster? How many weeks until your next race?

Drinking: Grande mild coffee with extra cream

Free Ball

Running tip: Avoid carrying loose change. It will annoy those running with you.

Well, shit. I just cannot pull one over on you guys. I apparently had two faux pas (pauses?) in my last post.

First of all, I told you about Devon from Outside PR who so graciously sent me the Ryders Eyewear to review. I eloquently described Devon as being a cute guy, but this was just in my imagination. Imagine my surprise when Devon emailed me to let me know she was a she. Vagina and all. Well, she didn’t say that, but I did. Sorry, Devon. Those names that could go either way really mess me up (Pat, Morgan, Drew, Yanni). I never should have assumed. Ass out of U and Me. Right?

Secondly, Paul from PB Down Under was kind enough to leave me this comment on my last post when I spoke of "wetting whetting your pallet":

What a giggle you have given me when you say something like "wet your pallet." ROTFL :-) Maybe you think we are all truckers and have piles of these things (pallets) lying around?? Methinks your fingers meant to type "palate!" Blame it on the finger with the cut who was probably just trying to get you back for attempting to chop her off!

Well, Paul, let me tell you something. I actually was talking about a trucker’s pallet. How did you know? I was hoping that we could all take a moment to rinse off and hose down those pallets we have laying around. Did you think I meant “palate?” (The roof of the mouth in vertebrates having a complete or partial separation of the oral and nasal cavities). As in a cleft palate? Oh no, my friend.

And if you believe that then you’ll believe I meant to say "Chopin was a concert penis" not a "concert pianist."

Seriously, though, thanks for the comment. You guys always make me laugh. I read each and everyone one of them.

Despite all of my shortcomings (and there are too many of them to ever confine to this blog), someone out there loved me yesterday.

Let me set the stage for you. I had just finished an 8.5 mile run, rinsed off, and decided to hit the Starbuck’s drive-thru before running a few mom-errands. I was not wearing mom jeans or listening to mom music (Kenny Rogers, Billy Joel) when I did this. The line at the drive thru was long, but I was in no hurry. I passed the time listening to Dr. Laura berate someone for the 201st time about the fact that they lived with their boyfriend (I think “whore” was the word she used). I finally ordered my grande mild coffee with extra cream (right to my colon), and inched my way to the pay window. I had my $2 out and ready to go. Rolling my window down as I approached the cashier I heard her say, “You’re all taken care of. The car in front of you paid for your drink.” Damn, I love this pay it forward stuff. And, damn, if I would have known I would have gotten a triple venti extra large mocha with gold shavings.

Seriously, thanks to that anonymous soul. I tried to chase him/her down flailing my money at their car so I wouldn’t feel so indebted to the universe, but he/she had disappeared into the mess of side streets and box stores.

This has been happening to me all over the place. First the guy at the Chelsea Handler show buying me drinks. Then my massage therapist gave me a free massage the other day because I lended an ear to listen to some of her personal problems. Now, the free coffee. What is this world coming to? Who do these generous people think they are? And, who of you, and I mean who of you is going to pay my mortgage this month?

Wish me luck on my 20 miler this weekend. I had it all mapped out on back dirt roads until we got major snow today. Now what’s a girl to do? Will she ice bath or won't she ice bath? Will she wear any clothes this time, or will she free ball? (What is the female equivalent of "free ball" anyway? Loose lip? Feel free to comment about that one).

Misszippy is doing a great giveaway on her blog for the new book Run Like a Mother that comes out 3/23. Also on her blog is an interview with the author.

Drinking: H20

Starbucks Giveaway Winner!! (video)

I've made you wait a full week to find out the winner of the giveaway. With Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and all else you have going on, I'm sure my giveaway is all you've been thinking about.

To find out the winner, watch below:

What's In Your Secret Drawer?

More often than not, I always ask for books for Christmas. Might seem boring to some, but when the monumental holiday is over and there is that inevitable Christmas hangover (not in the alcohol sense, but in the sense of so much activity and excitement then..............quiet. But who am I kidding - let's not leave alcohol totally out of it), I like to have something leftover to indulge in.

This year's books included:

Rules for Runners by Mark Remy: We all know about this one. Excited to read it to see what rhymes with Saucony ("rockin' knee) and when/where to go pee and crap depending on urgency and location.

Olive Kitteredge by Elizabeth Strout: I'm a voracious reader of all books and have read her previous book Amy and Isabelle. Am excited to read this one about a retired school teacher living in Crosby, Maine.

Animal, Vegetable Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver: I've read all of Kingsolver's books, my favorite being the Poisonwood Bible. This one's non fiction and about when she and her family vow that for one year they'd only eat food they grew themselves or buy food grown nearby to their homestead. Go Ma & Pa! Yeah, right. Can't see doing that, but I'm glad she did so I can read about it.

Brain Training for Runners by Matt Fitzgerald: Guess what? The brain controls it all (although you men might disagree). Train your brain to help you recover, run in the zone, maximize performance, resist fatigue. Oh, and to run a 2:09 marathon. I'm pretty sure the brain can do that too.

Oh, and I also got a Kenny Chesney calendar for days when the books just won't do. I'm not a huge country fan, but I love me some Kenny. That tight little ass, that crooning voice and that 28" inch waist are more than a woman can handle. Not to mention the bald head and rumours of gayness, but we won't talk about that. Here's one of me with Kenny.



Here's one taken at our beach house in St. John. I made that necklace for him out of white Smarties:


I got to thinking (uh oh). The books and items on your bedside table (and maybe in that secret catch all drawer) tell a lot about a person. Here's what I've got.

• The remote - need I say more. I'm a TV whore just like the rest of you
• Pictures of my kids because no matter what anyone says they are the cutest and smartest of them all

Glasses - yes I wear contacts by day, glasses by night (Nine West)



• Clock - It's actually a Zeo sleep system/monitor. My cousin's husband works for Zeo and I was going to be on the Dr. Oz show in September to talk about mom's sleeping and Zeo. Really I was. It fell through, but they still sent me one. Pretty cool. I'd rather be on Tyra to talk about my beaver anyway (see below).
  
• Books: Guide to Distance Running, Tales of a Female Nomad, and all those books above

And in the secret drawer (here's where it gets interesting):

• Milk Duds, Jujyfruits - more often than not I can be found stuffing my face with bad movie candy right before bed. I like it to sit on and rot on my teeth all night.
  
• A stuffed beaver - this is the biggest mystery. I know not why it's there except that at some point I'm pretty sure it was a joke between me and my husband
• Motrin - I'd like to say it's for running aches and pains, but it's really for wine aches and pains
• Notes my kids wrote to the tooth fairy - they are always negotiating and asking her questions like when she started her period, etc.

So you know this BEGS the question. What's on your night stand and in that special drawer? Keep it clean if you want, but you know I can handle it if you want to share all.

Giveaway update: I will be picking a winner using my special picking system in a couple of days. There is still time to enter.

Drinking: Starbucks Christmas Blend

Running Is the Meaning of Life and a GIVEAWAY!

It's snowing like a mother. We might just have a white Christmas after all. Here's Ken doing his manly duty and telling me we don't need pictures of this. But "toughsky shitsky" as my dad used to say (and sometimes still does when I'm a brat).



I've spent a lot of time since being injured wondering why running is so much better than any other thing I can think of. Why don't I get the same rush from cycling, swimming or miniature golf? I think I've figured it out.

I'm reading "My Life on the Run" by Bart Yasso. Great book, by the way. In the intro he sums it up well, "When I started running, I started dreaming. It couldn't be helped. The mind works as hard as the body does during exercise. It knows its role during these lonely interludes - to inspire, analyze and fantasize."

This is it in a nutshell. Running gives that much needed physical release, but it does something fantastic to the mental condition as well. In plain talk, it makes you feel like you can. Can move. Can accomplish. Can meet goals. Can get it done. The real magic is in how this translates to everyday life. You get confidence. You get creative. You get ballsy. You get to be even more of yourself.

I was happy to find out that according to Runner's World's book "Run Less, Run Faster," qualifying for Boston is actually realistic for me (qualifying time of 3:50:59; age group 40-44). They say that if I can:

• Run a 5K in 23:40 (I did it in 23:44 in July 2009)
• Run a 10K in 49:31 (I don't know about this one because the last two 10Ks I have run I've done with my kids. I don't think I need to relish in a 1:30 10K time)
• Run a half marathon in 1:49 (I did it in 1:47 in August 2009)

I might just be able to get there. Of course it will take the usual blood, sweat, tears and poop, but it's a possibility, my friends.

I do not, however, plan to kill myself training for my May Marathon. I will work hard, be sensible and do my best. There will be no 2010 Boston for me regardless, so if I don't qualify in May for '11, I've still got some time. This injury business has made me afraid. I simply do not want to find myself not being able to run ever again. While this may be impossible (I found out about 60-65% of all runners are injured during an average year), I'm going to do everything in my control to stay healthy:

• Take calcium supplements with Vitamin D: 1,000 mg/day
• Do major core work and cross training
• Do no more than 3-4 runs per week. Each run with a purpose (speed, tempo, long)
• Follow the 10% rule
• Stick to running trails and dirt roads as much as possible to lessen impact
• Ensure adequate rest/recovery
• Listen to my body!
• Get massages everyday
• Go on the Hollywood Cookie Diet
• Get a breast reduction to reduce back pain.

Okay, those last three are lies, but funny anyway.

Plus, if I can make this cake, I think I can BQ any day. If only. I'm no Martha Stewart (except for the jail part), but this looks pretty damn good:

Who likes Starbucks? I've got a $150 gift card for you. Just kidding it's only $10. What do you think I am, rich? Just become a follower (1 entry), or if you have no interest in being a follower of this lame blog, leave a comment telling me either your best injury prevention tip or how running has made you more ballsy, creative or outstanding as a person (1 entry). For a third entry, link back to my giveaway on your own blog. Good luck!

Drinking: Not drinking anything. Am parched. I made up a new drink last night that I will be drinking at 6pm Mountain Time. Mix 2 parts Grey Goose vodka with one part sparkling Izze grapefruit. Put in martini glass. It does not disappoint. If it does, toughsy shitsky.