Monday, June 7, 2010

It’s a Sad Thing

Today I took a recovery run. I was feeling sluggish and hot. Not hot as in sexy and vivacious, but hot like my crack was sweating. 5.4 miles in 48:56 (9:04 avg). I don’t usually tell you about all my measly runs (unless they’re the “runs” that require a porta potty, then I share), but today’s run stood out.

I’ve said before one of my favorite places to run is at a local lake:

mcintosh

Best setting ever, huh? You run along a path, most of it trail and it’s a 3.4 mile loop. From my house and around is 5.4 miles. Perfect.

So, get this. On Friday night a woman hung herself in one of the parks by the lake. I’ve run by this park hundreds of times. In fact, my daughter’s soccer team just had their picnic there. Very eerie and upsetting.

Running by the park today I found myself sadly wondering why and how she did it. I shivered as I thought of her just hanging there, dead. You start getting really introspective about why people take their own lives. All of the whys.

I was reminded of when I was ten years old and two people shot themselves behind my house at my favorite little park. I never felt the same about that place and you could see the blood stains for weeks. Kind of traumatic for a ten year old.

I don’t know the back-story on this poor woman by the lake. I do know that the two that committed suicide behind my house were teenagers who were in love but their parents didn’t want them together. They had decided they would either run away or kill themselves. You just wish you had had the chance to see those two in the grocery store that day and  had been able to have a conversation. Would it have made a difference? Who knows. We never know how the things we do and say can affect people.

Having had times of depression in my own life (short lived thank god), I know how it is difficult to see your way out of a bad spot. How it all looks hopeless and you’re not sure it will ever get better. How you aren’t sure where to turn. The important thing is that you do turn. That you let someone in. If you can. That you have faith in things passing and improving.

So, today I felt really sad and kind of creeped-out as I ran by that park. I had been dreading going near there, but am glad I did. I felt awful for those left behind and how they might blame themselves. I hope they can find peace.

Tomorrow we leave for Florida for a week. Ken’s parents live in Dade City, which is about an hour north of Tampa. Hopefully I’ll be able to do some humid blogging from there. How do you guys run in that stuff?

41 comments:

  1. I'd never get tired of that view.

    That's awful! Stories like this are always sad.

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  2. It is sad.
    I'm glad you found some beauty in the tragedy of the area.

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  3. I understand the "grocery store meeting". My husband had a friend hang himself this past winter. (From a tree across the road from a gas station in the middle of the night-- no one found him until the sun started coming up.) And you always wonder, "what if" What if you had seen him that day, talk to him, joined him in something, invited him somewhere.... would it have mattered?? I myself have been through it... mine was labeled "quarter life crisis" (makes me sound like a horse *aka quarter horse- blah blah) I was lucky to have a husband that stuck through it with me and a sis in law that had gone through it before. I had people to talk too, to lean on and to know loved me enough to care. (even when I yelled, shut them out, took of my wedding ring for a period of time, wanted to flee the country, be single, without kids, without anything... well, you get the point.) So, when I see/hear of people like that, I want to help/be there/let them yell at me/whatever it takes to let them know it will pass and life is still here for them.

    Humidity--- you might need to stuff some absorbing diapers throughout your "sweaty" spots. Because you just sweat, drip, a whole diffferent "schweaty balls" smell. (Gotta love S.N.L!!) Have fun in florida, through it all.

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  4. That is sad. Its always tragic when someone has things get so desperate or so out of control that they feel this is a way out:(
    That is one beautiful route though! And hopefully more happy memories are shared there than sad ones.

    On a different note, I'm headed to Ft. Lauderdale for some work. I just started getting back on the running horse and hope to get at least 1-2 runs in during my time...and wondering how bad the humidity will be as well. Granted we've had a few soppy days here lately too!
    have fun on your trip.

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  5. How tragic. It makes me sad to think that anyone could end their life when there is so much love and support out there whether it be family, friends or a licensed professional to help them through the hard times. I hope you're able to still run there and I hope this story reminds everyone to pay forward some good vibes while they're out and about and to embrace their loved ones today.

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  6. It is sad when people end their lives. Its also rather mean to have done it in a public area. Its one thing to make that choice in your own home but out in the open like that for anyone to find you. Makes me kind of mad for the person that found them.
    Such mixed emotions go with suicide. I have felt my share and don't wish it on anyone in the world and my husband has been there through thick and thin and I may not be here if I did not have him in my life. Even then, I would not have done myself in at a public place. Maybe because I was still thinking of others even just a little bit meant there was still hope for me.
    I wish lots of happy memories for the places tainted :)
    Humidity bites the big one!!! Its more like swimming than running and I don't swim so well :)

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  7. Run REALLY early in the morning (in the dark) or REALLY late at night.. it still kinda feels like you're breathing in water but it's better than water-breathing in the sun which is like impossible :( good luck!

    and creepy story :(

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  8. Eeeek, that's really sad :(

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  9. Such tragedy in such a beautiful place. No matter how bad things may get, it's hard to imagine reaching that point of desparation.

    Unfortunately not able to take part in the overheating activities. Spend most of my time trying to get my foot to thaw from all the ice packs/baths. Gotta heal the heel.

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  10. i had a high school friend kill himself. you never would of thought he'd be the one to do it. just goes to show, you never know what's going on inside of someone.

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  11. Loved this post. Loved this comment: That you let someone in. If you can. ---- so wise. So hard to do but soooo wise.

    loving the picture at top right. sexy little chica! Happy you got laid - LEI'D, I mean.

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  12. Go run with joy in that park and re-fill it with your good energy.

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  13. Oh wow. I would feel really weird running by there too.

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  14. So sad...we always wonder if there was anything we could have done to change what happened.

    I am glad you went on a run there, the place will need good energy around it.

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  15. It was 83 degrees and 81% humidity this morning at 6:20 am when I left for my run. It's awful.

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  16. aww, how sad :( We'll never understand what these people were going through unfortunately.

    Hope you have fun in FL!! You'll be very close to me. The humidity is crazy!! Bring shorts, sport bras, and headbands. Oh...and lots of extra socks. You'll be soaked! :) And drink water!

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  17. Yeah, I totally would be thinking about that the whole run for sure. That sucks. At least you brought some good mojo back to the place - it is so gorgeous! Have fun in FL!

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  18. Stories like that are so upsetting and pull you up in your tracks. The same happened over here not long ago. A woman threw herself off a bridge which is the starting point for our speed sessions. It was sad as an anonymous suicide but later that week I found out the woman was a friend of my cousin.

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  19. that is so awful :( i would never get sick of looking at that!

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  20. What an amazing view. I love Co.

    Horrible to see what despair can lead someone to do. How shocking to see that.

    I've never been that depressed to be at that point, and like most people, I feel like I've had bad moments in life. I will say that running has been a general cure for the daily malaise that affects my life. It's certainly not a cure all, but I always feel a little bet after.

    I don't know how people run in Fla. When we were on vacation there last year, I forced myself to run every day in the gym on the treadmill, and even with air conditioning, I was dying.

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  21. Ugh, that IS so hard!! I heard about her through the grapevine news but had no idea it was near you. I guess it makes you even that much more grateful for running, how it helps us through our daily issues. Have a blast in Florida!!!!

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  22. The "what-ifs" will kill you...my best friend has been gone ten years and I still rack my brain. So sad.

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  23. Sad post today. Very creepy for sure. I just read your race report. Nice work. Transitions are always a time waster for me too. I feel like I'm moving like such a slug. The Ipod - That should have been your - "If only...." and the biggest indicator of a tri virgin :) Great work out there. I hope you enjoyed it!

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  24. Whoa, very sad!! A childhood friend, and my aunt both committed suicide, and I'll never understand it. What a beautiful place to run though!! Have fun in Florida :)

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  25. Beautiful scenery. Sorry to hear about the woman. Suicide is so tragic.

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  26. Beautiful photo! I think I've run on that route with my brother on one of my visits. I almost collapsed from the altitude (i'm in Seattle).

    I find running to be a great source for keeping me happy and free of the depression demons.

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  27. How very sad. I would be creeped out too for a bit. But it's too beautiful not to run there.

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  28. That is a lot to think about, and you're right, you never know what to say. It looks like a beautiful spot though with plenty of really happy memories from other people.

    Safe travels!

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  29. How tragic! Good for you though in getting out there and enjoying life unlike that poor soul.
    Have a blast in FL - I don't know how those crazies do it! But I'm sure you will be a source of info on it when you get back!

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  30. That really sucks about the suicide park thing. I can't figure out how people make that an option. Should just be out of the question, and I think it is for most.
    Here in Orlando the heat is BAD. I start sucking at 2 miles if I run during the day. Then I sweat for a long time after. If I start in the morning I can last 6 miles before I begin to fatigue. - Morning is at 6am, btw. That's when it starts to get warmer.

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  31. I'm sorry, that is very sad. I'm glad that you are still able to get out there and enjoy the beauty in this world. For me,
    Preparing For A 5K Race
    can even be a challenge. I'm not a big runner, but I really want to get into it. Any pointers? Oh, and have a nice trip in Orlando!

    ~Sophia

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  32. Very sad. Thank you for sharing though. You never know who needs to read something like this.

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  33. That is sad.
    I am constantly reminded how fragile life is and how grateful I am that most days, my biggest problem is that my workout was a failure, my kid cut up in class, my husband didn't empty the garbage or the dog chewed up another piece of furnature.

    I'm so glad that you could still find beauty on that run after what happened there. Be well and know that we all wish we were you!

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  34. Oh, jeez. That's awful.

    I agree w/candice, though. Thanks for sharing it.

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  35. yikes, that is awful and very sad! i always wish that i could have shared running with people like that bc i feel that running brings purpose, exicitement, pride, love and happiness to my life, things that those people probably felt they did not have. :-(

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  36. The picture is lovely, but such a sad story. I've never known anyone who taken their own life. I can't imagine...

    Hope you have fun on your trip!

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  37. Eeeesh.

    Dude, I have that SUaR headband, which I have not worn nor even contemplated wearing since I received it (obvious, first thought was you when I saw what it said), it's literally got your name all over it. If you're interested, it's all yours. Email me your mailing stats (my email is available from my profile page) and I'll pop it in the mailbox.

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  38. Wow, what a tragedy. Life is a beautiful thing, I wish everyone could be reached that just needs to hear that.

    I live in Northern Wisco so I have absolutely no tips for you on running humidity. All i know is that I couldn't do it. Enjoy your trip to Flo-Rida!

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  39. That is tragic. Sorry to hear that. It's sad to me that people lose all hope.

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  40. Good lord - blood stains for WEEKS!? Didn't they know that if you throw coke(a coloa) on that it will be gone within a day?!


    Great run, I need to go visit my mom in co springs to run with that as a back drop.....well, and to visit her.

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