Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Clif Bar Fail & The Workout That Wasn’t

Nothing gets me more excited than seasonal stuff at the store like this candy cane hot chocolate:

Or this tea:

Or these waffles:

In fact, today I even bought chocolate stuffed advent calendars for my kids. It is the only time of the year they get to have a side of candy with their breakfasts. I am hoping that when they are older and in therapy about what a miserable parent I was they remember how I let them have chocolate in the morning from December 1st to December 24th. POTY (Parent of the Year).

Needless to say, I about got a boner when I saw the season varieties of Clif Bars:

I do enjoy a Clif Bar every now and again, especially the white chocolate macadamia ones. Sometimes they can be kind of heavy, so I have to be in a true Clif Bar mood. Well, today I saw the Spiced Pumpkin Pie bar on the shelf and knew I had to try it even before I left the store.

(By the way, this is not stealing. You can open and start eating things in the store as along as you keep the wrapper and pay for them. I learned this from my mom when I was six and she gave me a box of animal crackers to shut me up while she shopped.

This however, does not apply to produce. You cannot eat a bunch of grapes and then take them to be weighed at the register because then you are not weighing the grapes you ate. Unless of course you get on the scanner, but then you might get arrested and it wouldn’t be accurate anyway).

So, I bit into this bar while the security cameras were pointing away from my cart.

The verdict? Ewww. I can’t even tell you why, except that there was some strong taste of something (cloves maybe?) that tasted really off balance. And, mostly, this bar tasted nothing like pumpkin. So, I did what any self respecting shopper would do and I shoved it back in the wrapper and put it back on the shelf. Just kidding. Don’t call grocery store security. I brought it home and took pictures of it, like any self respecting blogger would do. Yes, I take big bites. Sue me.

P1130265

I just realized this is not at all a very interesting story. Not in the least. Sorry if you were not entertained.

Today another funny (and somewhat sad) thing happened. I went to the gym, did strength work, and intended to run a few miles on the treadmill. I got on, ran .12 miles, and got off and went home. Yes, .12 miles, not 12 miles. I just wasn’t feeling any treadmill love today (not like I do any day) and didn’t have warm enough clothes with me to go outside. So I went to Starbucks instead and got a piece of gingerbread loaf. And, I didn't even beat myself up about it. Next time I promise I will Shut Up and Run. Even I don’t take my own advice sometimes.

Do you like seasonal items? What's your favorite? I love the holiday coffee drinks (peppermint mochas, etc).

Ever start a workout and quit it? I have to say I’ve never done this before. I think if I was training for something I would have stuck in there, but this is my down season so I didn’t mind too much. Please I did do half of my workout. That counts for something I’m sure.

What’s your favorite protein/sports bar? I know they’re not the healthiest, but I love Nature Valley Protein Bars. They are pretty cheap at Costco too – $13.51 for 24 bars or .$56 per bar.

SUAR

54 comments:

  1. Hilarious. I'm pretty sure I've hopped off the treadmill at .12 miles before, so I know exactly what you were feeling at that moment. I did a quick scan of the room, because I was kind of embarrassed and just got out of there. Thanks for the warning on the Clif bar too.

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  2. Lady boner...huh huh huh...

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    1. That is where I lost it laughing!!!! :)

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    2. That was funny shit. One of my lady running buddy's I run with stole the "I froze my balls off" from you. First time she said it I just about fell over because I was laughing so hard. I told her I didn't believer and I needed to see proof. LOL. Thanks for the laugh.

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  3. I needed this laugh today. Thank you. And I appreciate the heads up about the pumpkin Clif. I am such a sucker for all things pumpkin.

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  4. I've tried that flavor too and YUCK! What a disappointment!

    I quit a run last week too. I was tapering so I didn't feel too awful about it. I hopped on my treadmill and it felt abnormally difficult so I quit, went to a bar with friends and watched the election results come in. The next day, I hopped on the treadmill and realized it was on a 4% incline. No wonder it felt slightly more difficult the day before. :) Whoops.

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  5. Pro tip: Make some plain oatmeal only instead of water, use pumpkin and add a little pumpkin spice. It may look like baby poo, but it's damn tasty and really good for you.

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    1. I make that version of oatmeal about once a week. It's really good with unsweetened vanilla almond milk, raisins, and pecans mixed in, too.

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    2. I always put pumpkin spice in my oatmeal. Going to have to try adding pumpkin puree :)

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    3. Baby poo! Haha. Can picture it now

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  6. Yes and Yes! Started a run today and felt completely disconnected. My legs felt twisted in my hip sockets. It just wasn't working. Thanks for the reminder that it is okay.
    I love all things pumpkin... never tried the Cliff Bar before though.
    I definitely laughed out loud at the boner you got. Too funny! You are hilarious.

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  7. I'm sure I have quit a run like that before, but not very often. Sometimes you just need a break. I like that you remembered it was 0.12 miles though.

    I like the Nature Valley Protein bars too -- especially the peanut butter ones. They are a great afternoon snack if I just can't make it until dinner.

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  8. I usually drink so much egg nog that I need about 11 months to recover from the smooth deliciously creamy overdose that I inflicted upon myself. The timing couldn't be better. Speaking of which... I'm gonna run to the store.

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  9. I don't have a favorite protein/sports bar. They all taste like garbage. No exceptions. I'd rather have a cup of non-fat yogurt, half a bagel, and a Three Musketeers.

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  10. I love love reading your blogs! They make me smile and feel human :) thank you!!

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  11. I eat Quest protein bars. I'm diabetic so have to keep the carbs low and the fiber almost cancels out the carbs..and they taste really good..especially the cinnamon roll..

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  12. I was disappointed by the gingerbread Clif bar, but I tried the peppermint stick today and thought it was AWESOME. The Nature Valley protein bars are great, too.

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  13. Clif Mojo bars, trail mix flavor, are really good. They have chocolate chips in them, which is a bonus. The Clif chocolate chip granola bars are good, too. There are two in a wrapper so I eat one before a long run and the other right after.
    Funny you should blog about holiday treats. I just broke open a box of Mi-del gingerbread men from Whole Foods and ate 5. Then I made myself go hide the box as far from the computer as possible. I did cycle 60 miles yesterday so I figured I was entitled. :)

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  14. I, too, had the same experience with the pumpkin Cliff bar...so disappointing. I would have spit mine out, except it was the only food I had at the time and I paid $1.50 for it. I gave my daughter a piece, she said it tasted like cardboard.

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  15. Yay! I feel the same way about grapes or cherries or whatever type of produce has to be weighed. It bugs me when I see ppl eating it without paying for it! Anyway, rant over... I love seasonal goodies although my favorites are the seasonal ice cream flavors by Edy's - so good!

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  16. Sweitzle's spiced wafers and Ginger Snaps. Black and Orange boxes show up before Halloween and disappear after Thanksgiving but only in the Philadelphia area. Sadly I have not had any this year :( Have to settle for home made pumpkin protein shake.

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  17. I found it extremely entertaining! Plus I had an epic fail workout today too! I was a victim of 3 previous days of overdoing taking advantage of beautiful weather. No cliff bar love here. Bleh.

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  18. I laughed out loud when I read about your non-run. I have totally done that on a treadmill before! So glad I am not alone!

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  19. I bought 3 BOXES of Clif bars from Costco some years ago, ate them all and still haven't been able to eat another one to date and probably never will.

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  20. the peppermint cliff bars are amazing. And it must be just Denver (or big cities) that get that awesome seasonal stuff - we never ever get that cool stuff (season coaco for example).

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  21. I love the Clif seasonal bars! I think I've avoided the pumpkin in the past, though. Pumpkin-flavored things are hard to get right. I DO remember the gingerbread and peppermint ones being really good though.

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  22. i didnt feel like working out today, and as soon as i did 2 miles on the treddy, it shut off by itself. i took it as a sign. i have not tried the clif seasonal bars yet, and i do love pretty much all seasonal items.

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  23. If I ever HAVE started a workout and quit, I'm like 98% sure it was a treadmill run.

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  24. Quite by coincidence, I was eating a White Chocolate Macadamia Clif Bar as I read this. I love those things WAY too much and sometimes have to put myself through a little rehab. The funny thing is that when I finally feel "cured" and allow myself to eat one again it always tastes like fake food - just completely overprocessed. And I think that I am completely over my addiction... until they keep calling my name. Then I find myself, sitting on the sofa in the middle of the night, eating a Clif White Chocolate Macadamia Bar while reading about someone else eating a Clif Bar. It's really very sad.

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  25. The Gingerbread Clif Bar isn't too bad. Haven't had the cranberry one but it "sounds" good. Maybe. I hate it when I'm disappointed in something I ate, what a waste of calories!

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  26. I love seasonal items, especially pumpkin spice egg nog. I'm not a fan of egg nog at all but last year my kids made me try it and it was life changing....especially when you add spiced rum!!!

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  27. Im so so so ANTI SEASONAL ITEMS :-)
    all kinds.
    Im a misfit :-)

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  28. I adore seasonal flavors, mostly because there's a lot of peppermint/chocolate combinations. I'm a little nervous about the peppermint stick Gu that I ordered, though- they sound so great to me, but what if they're awful?

    In my world, that treadmill workout COUNTS. You made numbers appear on the distance, so even if it's .12, it's better than nothing! Now, if that's as far as you Ever went, and you started complaining about not losing weight/not gaining endurance or started bragging about how far, then we might need to have a reality check.

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  29. I run mostly on the treadmill because I have a 3-year-old at home. My runs on there usually go something like this: Run 0.24 miles, get off and find the stupid hotwheel that got stuck in another toy, run another 0.46, get back off to help said child potty; potty yourself while you're in there, run another 1.48, stop to get a tissue for the proferred booger your child is handing you; give up and go have a peppermint hot chocolate because you realize your workout is SO screwed up you don't even remember what kind of run it was supposed to be. {SIGH}

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  30. I am a total sucker for the holiday beverages. I had my first Starbucks gingerbread latte this morning. Was a little disappointing. Next up will be the peppermint mocha. I actually just bought a bottle of the sugar free peppermint syrup so I could put it in my hot chocolate. Amazing.
    I like the clif builders bars but I haven't really tried too many others. Too much sugar and other stuff. I've made my own from time to time.
    It's been a while since I've started a workout and then stopped it because I just wasn't feeling it. Probably b/c I've been in crazy training mode for the last year. It's off season now so I suspect there may be a few of the "ah to hell with it, I'm not finishing this crap" workouts though, ha ha ha.

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  31. Love all the seasonal items! Especially pumpkin spiced lattes from Starbucks. With soy milk. Yum.

    And good for you for not feeling bad about cutting it short...some days are just those kind of days...it will make your next workout that much better.

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  32. Cliff Mojo Peanut Butter Pretzel. Bar. Is it healthy...maybe not, but I feel like I am eating a candy bar and it has to be healthier than that.

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  33. I like apple/cinnamon kind of seasonal items, but i hate pumpkin. I think I'm the only person in the world that hates pumpkin.

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  34. AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH Lady Boner!

    I for one LOVE egg nog!!!! For energy bars I love honey stinger waffles!!!

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  35. Love those pumpkin waffles! We're on our 3rd box and when I say we, I mean my husband has had about 2 and I've eaten the rest.

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  36. I actually like those pumpkin Clif Bars. They don't taste too much like pumpkin, but they don't taste bad. The peppermint ones are pretty vile, though. Here's how I like to pimp out my energy bars: unwrap a carrot cake or apple pie Lara Bar, warm it in the microwave for about fifteen seconds, then slather it with cream cheese. Consume. (This also rocks with the banana bread Lara Bar and peanut butter.) I'm sure for the calories I could just eat a damn cupcake, but since I don't usually have those around, the Lara Bar workaround usually satisfies me.

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    1. Oh my!!! I will have to try that!!! I love the new Uber Lara Bars...I bet the banana fosters one would be great with cream cheese. Same here-loads of protein bars but usually no cupcakes laying around these parts. Bummer...in VA I haven't seen any seasonal cliff bars or eggo waffles :(

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  37. I have totally gotten on the treadmill and quit after a short time. I mean, probably not as short as .12 miles ... that's TOTALLY LAME!

    kidding. Some days, it's just NOT HAPPENING. And at least you tried. You get more credit than saying "it's just not happening" from your desk in non-workout clothes.

    I don't like Clif Bars in general, but I might be enticed by the gingerbread version.

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  38. I haven't tried the pumpkin Cliff bar, but I have tried the gingerbread one in years past and had the same kind of reaction--yuck. It surprised me b/c I do love their products in general.

    I am all kinds of excited that Trader Joe's just put its wintery mix coffee back on the shelves. This year I am going to buy about 6 containers and save them!

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  39. I'm ALWAYS entertained when I read your blog. That Candycane Cocoa is the BOMB! It actually has little pieces of peppermint in the mix. Yum-o!

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  40. I love this season, because of the pumpkin everything. I had pumpkin waffles last Sunday. DELISH! I also love candy cane hot chocolate. Ymmmm...need me some now.

    I have left a run before pretty much as soon as it started, but that's typically because of an injury.

    I love Luna bars better.

    And my mom did the same thing!

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  41. I had the same dreadmill result yesterday...less then a mile into my PLANNED run, I got a text to pick up one of my kids from school. When we got home I dusted off the neglected machine and let it run for 15 minutes while I watched tv, then I put away and ate some Reese's Pieces cookies ...

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  42. Glad to know what seasonal flavor NOT to buy--I'm a sucker for all the seasonal flavors in general. I tried to run on the treadmill today and made it a whopping half a mile before giving up. I ran Ragnar Las Vegas this past weekend and am still hurting from my second leg, 4.5 miles all UP (and into a 30-40MPH headwind at night). Yeah, I'm pretty sure my glutes will never be the same again. I keep thinking they should be feeling better by now, but not so much.

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  43. I love, love, love Peppermint Stick ice cream with hot fudge! Best dessert ever!

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  44. That is so funny that you ended your workout. And still got the bread. I woulda too.

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  45. That is so funny that you ended your workout. And still got the bread. I woulda too.

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