Thursday, November 15, 2012

It Must Be a Damn Good Sign

I swear that marathon signs are like fine wine, they get better with age (not that I would know anything about fine wine. I get a lady woody when the big bottles of Woodbridge chardonnay go on sale for $9.99).

Anyway, when I ran my first marathon a few years ago, the status quo signs were, “Run Like You Stole Something,” and “Just Beat Oprah.” Great signs, but a bit tired and overused. Just like your mama (kidding!). I don’t know what’s happened these days, but it’s like the sign makers got a sassy attitude and a major sense of humor. Check out some of these from recent races:

The male perspective sign – he still might not get sex after holding up this sign. She could possibly be using training runs as an excuse and next it will be “I am still recovering from my marathon”:

The male perspective sign: I can’t imagine a woman holding up a sign that says “Go Sweet Ball Sac Go!

The backhanded compliment sign: My hope is that this sign was made for his frat brother and not his wife.

The odd yet strangely funny sign: I wonder how long it took these two rocket scientists to think this one up. I hope they don’t do things to innocent mares.

The tell it like it is sign: My personal favorite because it happens to the best of us.

My dear friend Clair ran the Richmond Half Marathon last weekend and saw some of my all time favorites:

It this were easy, it would be called: ‘your mom’

Camel toe check here

{Let’s face it, camel toes are a very popular sight at a marathon. I wonder if some people spectate just for that. And the funny thing is, at mile 20, who gives a crap if everything is wedged all up in there? If I really cared, I get one of these but it might make me chafe worse.}

Seen any good signs recently? I saw another one that said something like, “Please finish soon, my arms hurt from holding this sign.” Couldn’t find a picture of it, though.

Do you look at signs while you run? No. Never. I am trying to hard to not die.

SUAR

81 comments:

  1. The link...it killed me. I laughed harder than I have all day. As a matter of fact, i may wet myself.

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    1. I laughed so hard at the link, too!!! I had to sent the link to my friends!!!

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  2. I like Worst Parade Ever! And, Hurry ! It's Cold!

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    1. I agree! Those were great. I wish I could come up with things like that.

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    2. I saw the "Worst Parade Ever" sign at the half I ran last weekend. I laughed like crazy.

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  3. My toddler and I spectated a race, and he had a sign that said, "It's OK. I poop my pants, too." Sadly, only a few guys laughed.

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  4. My favorite signs (or at least the only ones I can remember) from Chicago this year: "I don't do marathons, I do a marathoner" (held up by a guy) and "Most athletes just play with balls. Marathoners have balls".

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  5. I ran my first half a couple weeks ago and I definitely did not notice signs. What I did notice was how well people were cheering. I appreciated people calling out my bib number, "Looking good 1085!" and high fives, even those that were drinking from red solo cups at 10:30 am :)

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  6. I always read the signs.....for the Long Beach Marathon my daughter held a sign that said "You've trained longer than Kim K. was married"

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    1. Someone had a similarly worded sign at the 7 Bridges Marathon in Chattanooga :) Definitely made me smile!

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  7. At the marine corp marathon which was "supposed" to be during hurricane sandy... It was windy but not rainy BUT one guy had a sign ready if it did. "best wet tshirt contest"

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  8. At my first marathon (can you tell how much I love saying that?! I am still glowing five days later) I saw a sign that said "Touch for Power." You better believe I touched it!

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    1. I know which marathon you did - I did the same one (and it was my first too)! I missed touching the sign, and I could have used it.

      I liked the signs on tree posts with different famous people's times to beat (I beat Katie Holmes (not hard)!). Including Paul Ryan. =)

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  9. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--gaZfgId2oI/TuWGmW4cT8I/AAAAAAAAC0A/C6NHXlsJUMU/s1600/376195_2596015534090_1065755002_2927416_364735577_n.jpg

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  10. Oh my god - this has me literally pissing my pants in my seat here at work! LMAO!!

    My favourite sign I made for a friend of mine doing Ironman Australia was "Run like a fat kid loves cake"

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  11. These are great :) I saw one while running San Antonio Marathon that read:
    --You trained longer for this than Kim Kardashian's marriage.--
    It made me laugh :-p

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  12. My favorite sign of all my marathons and 1/2's was at the Georgia Publix half last March, the day after St. Patty's day.. "run quietly I'm really hungover"

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  13. My favorite recent sign said "if it were easy your husband would do it" and was held by the husband which made it even more funny!

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  14. I saw the Friday night sex sign at Marine Corps this year.
    "Run like a hurricane is chasing you"
    "I trained for 12 weeks to make this sign"/"Holding this sign is really hard"
    "Bandaids on your nipples? I'm into that"
    "NICE ASS"
    I read several others that made me chuckle, but it only took about 400 meters for me to forget what they said.
    A friend ran OBX last weekend and said one of the real estate company/sponsors made poster-sized Someecards like "I just ran a marathon! No, I didn't, I just ate 3 cupcakes"

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  15. These are awesome! My fave from my last marathon was "Worst. Parade. Ever!"

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  16. I always read the signs! I took a picture of one while running the Rite-Aid Cleveland half...I saw her earlier in the race and then again towards the end. I asked if I could take her picture (with her sign) "I am a stranger, but I am so proud of you".
    A sign that I normally see is something along the lines of- Chuck Norris has never run a marathon.

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  17. I didn't see any outstanding signs at the Indianapolis Monumental 2 weeks ago, but there was an old guy shaking a cowbell like nobody's business as we approached this corner, and right as we got there, a college age guy stuck his head out the window and yelled " that's enough with the gosh dang(not his exact words!) cowbell" and as he turned to walk away from the window, he was butt naked!! Priceless!! Only wish I would have had my phone ready for a photo-op!! Angie

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  18. At my first and only so far half marathon there was a guy that kept moving down the course and changing it....started with hury up i am hungry to hurry up i am cold to hurry up i am bored....he just kept adding the words to the bottom.

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  19. My son likes to hold a sign that says "Run for your life".

    I have seen a lot of "Kick Ass-phalt" and "Do Epic Shit".

    I really like "Tired legs are Sexy" and "U = Awesome" that I saw recently.

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  20. I made signs for my sisters 1st full one was "unleash the Kenyan in you" & of course "your feet hurt from kicking ass" then in October I did my 1st half. I too have some GI issues & she made a sign that said "if you haven't pooped your pants, your already a winner" her other one was "your legs will forgive you, eventually"! I read the signs & they took my mind off how long I had to go.

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  21. I LOVE SIGNS!! I laughed really hard at "RUN FASTER, CHARLIE SHEEN IS WINNING!!" It would be lame now but at the time, it was quite relevant, hehe.

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  22. When I ran my first marathon there was a guy holding a sign with his bike that said $50 to rent this bike and he moved further down the race and the price kept going up the further down the marathon. Last I saw him was around mile 18 and the price was $250.

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  23. When I ran my first marathon there was a guy holding a sign with his bike that said $50 to rent this bike and he moved further down the race and the price kept going up the further down the marathon. Last I saw him was around mile 18 and the price was $250.

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  24. One of the 'senior runners' I know has the best blog, he always talks about the signs. Recently he blogged about a pretty woman holding up a sign that said "Free Beer & Sex at the Finish"...
    He said he wasn't sure if it was true, but it sure made him want to get there faster! LOL...
    CamelFlage? Really? Steel toed panties...fan-freakin'-tastic!!

    "Worst. Parade. Ever." Always makes me smile!

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  25. "It's not sweat. It's your fat cells crying."

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  26. I saw one held by a little boy that said " where are you guys going?" And worst parade ever. Naked cheerleaders next mile was held by some guy there was only more miles.

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  27. I saw a funny one at the Nike Women's Marathon this year. It said "If you think running 26.2 miles is hard you should try waiting around for your slow ass to finish" Something like that, it was way funny!!

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  28. I love signs! My first marathon was Twin Cities last month and the most popular sign I saw was "chuck norris never ran a marathon" but the one that made me smile was "smile if you're not wearing amy underwear"

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  29. You are on a roll this week...another LOL post! I'm still laughing about yesterday's post...

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  30. Seen at this year's Marine Corps Marathon around mile 18 near the Capitol..."Hurry up - Paul Ryan finished the race 3 hours ago"...almost stopped running to get a picture on my phone ;-)

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  31. Ran my first half a few weeks ago and I read every single sign to keep my mind off of what I was doing! My favorite was a woman holding a sign that said, "Go Faster!!! Go Harder!!!!" Right next to her was a man with a sign that said, "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Priceless. I told them I loved their signs :)

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  32. In my first half, there was a sign that said, "You did this to yourself!" He kept moving down the course and at the end, it wasn't near as entertaining as when I first saw it.

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  33. Thanks for this great post and linking to so many of the signs on my site. I agree that the signs are certainly getting better!

    As for the "your mom" sign you mentioned: http://bestracesigns.wordpress.com/2012/10/05/mother/
    It appears to be the original - I had contact with the girl that made it. :)

    Jill
    BestRaceSigns.wordpress.com

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  34. Any woman who loves running and can freely use the words "lady woody" is one whose blogs I MUST follow. The Jogging Dad (www.joggingdad.com).

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  35. I saw the guy with the sex sign. It actually made me gag a little because I did not want to picture him having sex of any kind. My fave at Marine Corps Marathon was around mile 5. It said Paul Ryan is already finished. I laughed for about 3 miles about that one. Most inspiring were the ones that said "One day you won't be able to do this. Today is not that day."

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  36. Almost forgot my fave sign from a kid. This little boy who just looked like he was a devilish little thing was holding a sign that said, "If you think running a marathon is hard, you should try dealing with me all day. Go Mom!"

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  37. Saw a sign when I did a half in Saginaw, Mi. in 2011 and we were only about a 1/2 mile and it said "You are NOT almost there." Then on the way back with only a mile to go, same girl, "NOW you are almost there." I try reading them all but I thought that was a good one. Once again, another great story.

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  38. When I ran my first marathon there were two guys on bikes who were cheering on the wife of one - they had tubes full of signs & they would stop every 1/2 mile for the last 13 miles breaking a new one out. The one I remember the most was "Hurry up honey. I'm getting hungry." My cousin & I laughed all the way to the finish. After we crossed the line the 'wife' attacked us from behind and said, "I never would have finished if I hadn't been listening to the two of you laugh and talk about those guys!" Apparently she had been right behind us the entire time.

    One I've been gaining the courage to hold is "Hurry up - you have laundry waiting!" at our local 'women's race' (think: women's liberation - NOT pink stuff and glitter). Maybe next year...

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  39. These signs were hilarious. I haven't seen any as good as those.

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  40. These will forever be my favorites, all thanks to the interwebz.

    http://textfail.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/awesome_pictures_11.jpg

    At my last half, I finally saw someone holding up a "Worst Parade Ever" sign.

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  41. The best one I EVER saw was a guy on his bike at mile 3 and it said "$10 for a ride to the finish line".

    Here is where it gets good though. I then saw the SAME guy at around mile 13 and it had changed to $50 (the $10 was crossed out). At mile 20 it said $200!!! LOL!!!!!

    I don't even know how many people picked up on this (or noticed it was the same guy)...for those of us that did, it was the best "sign" ever!!!

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  42. For the Broad Street 10 miler in Philadelphia my friends made a sign saying "Ryan Arey (me) runs faster than SEPTA(public transit there)" and it was a hit with everyone that saw it!

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3034400579806&set=a.1363860577350.2046485.1256670019&type=1&theater

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    1. Ryan, was this from 2012? I was a runner, didn't see that one, but I did see several worst.parade.ever and a one that said something to the effect of Chuck Norris.
      But my favorite from Broad Street this year was the guy with the sign around Pine Street that read "Show me your camel toe!" I was dying!

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  43. Love seeing signs at races. So many are so clever. :)

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  44. I ran Richmond marathon last weekend and saw a sign at Mile 5 "Paul Ryan is already finished." I laughed out loud for at least a mile!

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  45. At the Portland Marathon last year there was a guy around mile 11 that had a sign that said, "I'm attracted to runners...my phone number is 503-(and the rest of the number)." I thought it was pretty funny, so I yelled, "That's a great sign!" To my astonishment, he yelled back, "Are you single?" Not sure what to say (and already heading towards marathon brain) I looked around, and then remembered to say, "Umm, yeah, I'm married." To which he replied, "Bummer." Still to this day I'm not sure if he was sincere or just trying to help out the female runner mentality, but it sure helped me keep going for the rest of the marathon.

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  46. I saw one at the Nike Women's Marathon with a guy holding a sign that said "Here's my #, Call me Maybe at the Finish Line, 949-636-7146". I know that is the right number because I actually took a picture of him while my friend was in the port-a-poty. He is kinda cute, I might have called him if I wasn't already taken!

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  47. My fave? "Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling is waiting for you at the finish."
    Made me crack up.

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  48. When I was doing the Dublin Marathon last month, two signs caught my eye - "Look lively, Morgue just ahead" and "Yeah, because 26.3 miles would be just crazy" :)

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  49. LOL- those are great, Sweet Tits! Hahahaha!!!

    My recent fave, "You trained longer than Kim Kardshian's marriage lasted!"

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  50. I love seeing signs! I'm always laughing out loud at them! I wish I could remember all the hilarious ones I've come across. I really need to start writing them down!

    I can't even handle that Sweet Tits! Too good.

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  51. I did the signs for our recent Army Run cheer station. My favorite was 'Pain is Temporary, Internet Results are Forever' and I heard from a bunch of runners after the race that it was their favorite too.

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    1. OK, I had not heard that one and I LOVE IT. I probably will actually think of this while I am running my next race. Keeps you accountable.

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  52. Please keep up the woman-penis jokes! You are too funny!

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  53. Recently I've seen a lot of signs talking about Chuck Norris and comparing a marathon to Kim Kardashians wedding. Haha! Both crack me up!!

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  54. Best sign of the year, at a trail race: Chafe now, brag latter!

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  55. My favorite was a boy around seven, whose sign read "run faster, I just farted" ...

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  56. Seen at the San Diego Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon this year: "Rosie, we know you can do it! Mark, we're not so sure".

    I also love "I'm proud of you, random stranger!"

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  57. I saw this one at the Twin City marathon on a run runner's back.... "If I collapse please pause my Garmin". Now THAT made me forget about my sore left calf!

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  58. My favorite was held up by a little kid at the halfway point of a marathon. Simply read "Gotta Poop yet?" I loved it and apparently my friends & family knew that I would love it because they took a picture of it for me. Also, I live in Wisconsin in some hardcore Green Bay Packer country. It was a Sunday marathon and a boy was holding up a sign that read "hurry up, the Packer games starts soon."

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  59. At the Chicago Marathon this year I saw another variation of the Paul Ryan sign. At about mile 23, it said "According to Paul Ryan, you can still run a sub 3:00!" I laughed because at that point I was shooting for sub 5:00. I always read the signs, they are so entertaining!

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  60. I saw one at the half I did last weekend that said "Stop reading this sign and keep running!" It made me laugh because I caught myself squinting at it and slowing down to read it.

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  61. The R&R Savannah had some great ones, including: "Marathon women like it harder and longer." Oh yeah! ;)

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  62. At the Marine Corps Marathon few years ago there was someone dressed up at the Grim Reaper holding the sign "The end is near" at mile 20....at that point I wasn't sure if I truly was dying or actually approaching the finish line!

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    1. That is too far from the finish line. 10k after 20 miles?!

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  63. Chafe today, brag forever!

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  64. Haa haa, I was running the Richmond Marathon and saw that "Don't Shit Youself" sign. My running partner and me laughed our freaking asses off at that one! CLASSIC!

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  65. My best friend made one for the Marine Corps Marathon that I ran that said, "It's ok to pee yourself!" heehee

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