Sunday, January 24, 2010

More Than You Asked For

Yeah, you know this one is going around. The ten things that make you happy. I have been waiting for someone to tag me on this. I NEVER get tagged. You all must not care a lot about what makes me happy. Well thank God for Marlene, who was kind enough to care.

Here's what makes me happy, shut up and run style:

  1. A good, voluminous, healthy turd in the morning, especially before a run. Lately they have been a foot long. Like the hot dog. I think it's the new probiotic I'm taking.


  2. The 75 year old cashier at Target who every time you ask him how he is he says, "Fat and sassy." He is really skinny, and kinda sassy. He epitomizes the Target team member. Consistent, smiley and dressed in red and khaki. I wonder if his Depends match?
  3. That first sip of coffee in the morning and the 2,308 sips that follow. I love me some coffee. But only before noon.

  4. Sitting at a blackjack table in Las Vegas with Erika or Ken on my right, a Heineken on my left. I am showing two aces. I have just split them on a $100+ bet and get two face cards.

  5. Getting my picture taken with big perverted frogs


  6. Seeing my kids come downstairs first thing in the morning. Even when they're pissed off because it's early and time for school. Even when they have bad breath (which they always do now that they're older and have braces). Even though she's almost nine, Emma still likes to curl up in my lap and breathe her bad breath on me.

  7. Curled in bed with a glass of chardonnay. The Bachelor is on.

  8. Flying back into Denver. There's nothing like coming home.

  9. Watching the snow fall.

  10. When someone tells you everything is going to be all right and you believe them.

  11. This picture of me because it looks like I have a really big and shaved you-know-what, but those are my thighs. Just an illusion, my friends.

I could go on and on. Seriously there are so many things that make me happy and so many things that make me pissed, sad, embarrassed and/or irritated. Some of those?

  1. It's January 24. Christmas lights are still up.

  2. The fact that my dog's penis never goes into it's holder. It's always out. Lipstick anyone?

  3. When you are dating a new boyfriend and you blow up his grandparents' toilet, so much so that it overflows. A blog for another day.

  4. When you're waiting in line for the bathroom on an airplane and some big guy goes in and is in there for a ...............very...........longtime and you know when you go in it's going to be outrageously smelly and you sit down and the seat is warm.

  5. Sicks kids.

  6. When you fart during a final exam

  7. Frying bacon in the morning and smelling like bacon all day.

  8. Falling off of the treadmill

  9. Getting injured and not being able to run. This should actually be #1.

  10. Falling while skiing and having to be taken down on a stretcher by teh ski patrol

So there my friends are some of my happiest and unhappiest. More than you asked for, eh?

26 comments:

  1. Hi Beth,
    You have two very nice and interesting lists! I totally agree with the smelling like bacon thing...I hate that too! God I want your abs:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. bahahahahahahahaha your hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I swear...your posts crack me up every time...keep them coming!!!!! Love your honesty.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hilarious!! At least we have 2 things in common :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I need to comment on every single one of those I feel ... but I'll spare you and say: You just make my day, everyday. That last picture is hilarious. You would think that, wouldn't you?

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are such a funny blogger. Thanks for bringing sunshine into my life :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love how optimistic you are. Every single one of those are great. Seeing an elderly person so happy makes me happy. It's funny how contagious life is.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thanks for playing along. I'm not *quite* sorry I asked. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. That optical illusion picture is just way too creepy.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love it. I think I might just have to fly to Denver to see the Fat and Sassy Target employee. That is hilarious!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. That picture of your fake "you know what" made me cringe and laugh and take a second look! Thanks for making my Monday morning :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. ooooh no no no.... I DO think you need to go back to the pissed/embarrassed list #3!!! That's a need to know!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. You never cease to crack me up. Loved the list, seriously, best list evah!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Laughed out loud!! "very big and shaved you-know-what" hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  15. these lists are exactly what i expect from you! thanks again for not letting me down! your "very big and shaved you-know-what" is going to give me nightmares. wonderful. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. That's the funniest list I have ever seen! Thanks for making my Monday! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I looked REALLY hard for a picture that i took outside of the airplane. Nothing like final approach. :)

    Yeah, i'll admit... I looked twice at that picture of you in the cabana. I can admit it.

    Your hates are FUNNY. You know, it could be a LOT worse for #4.. I mean, he could be in there for a long time and the seat NOT be warm - because he was rubbing one out. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. LOVE the lists. I actually tagged you on my blog and then read this so I untagged you. Maybe next time.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Ha ha ha. My poos have been really long in the morning too. I am sick of them disrupting my runs! I can't wait to hear all your other stories you mentioned on the pissy list.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Amazing blog post dude. You made some good points there. Thank you so much for sharing it. Kudos! I also wanna share this christmas lights that we have. This would surely be of great help to you.

    ReplyDelete