Here's what makes me happy, shut up and run style:
- A good, voluminous, healthy turd in the morning, especially before a run. Lately they have been a foot long. Like the hot dog. I think it's the new probiotic I'm taking.
- The 75 year old cashier at Target who every time you ask him how he is he says, "Fat and sassy." He is really skinny, and kinda sassy. He epitomizes the Target team member. Consistent, smiley and dressed in red and khaki. I wonder if his Depends match?
- That first sip of coffee in the morning and the 2,308 sips that follow. I love me some coffee. But only before noon.
- Sitting at a blackjack table in Las Vegas with Erika or Ken on my right, a Heineken on my left. I am showing two aces. I have just split them on a $100+ bet and get two face cards.
- Getting my picture taken with big perverted frogs
- Seeing my kids come downstairs first thing in the morning. Even when they're pissed off because it's early and time for school. Even when they have bad breath (which they always do now that they're older and have braces). Even though she's almost nine, Emma still likes to curl up in my lap and breathe her bad breath on me.
- Curled in bed with a glass of chardonnay. The Bachelor is on.
- Flying back into Denver. There's nothing like coming home.
- Watching the snow fall.
- When someone tells you everything is going to be all right and you believe them.
- This picture of me because it looks like I have a really big and shaved you-know-what, but those are my thighs. Just an illusion, my friends.
I could go on and on. Seriously there are so many things that make me happy and so many things that make me pissed, sad, embarrassed and/or irritated. Some of those?
- It's January 24. Christmas lights are still up.
- The fact that my dog's penis never goes into it's holder. It's always out. Lipstick anyone?
- When you are dating a new boyfriend and you blow up his grandparents' toilet, so much so that it overflows. A blog for another day.
- When you're waiting in line for the bathroom on an airplane and some big guy goes in and is in there for a ...............very...........longtime and you know when you go in it's going to be outrageously smelly and you sit down and the seat is warm.
- Sicks kids.
- When you fart during a final exam
- Frying bacon in the morning and smelling like bacon all day.
- Falling off of the treadmill
- Getting injured and not being able to run. This should actually be #1.
- Falling while skiing and having to be taken down on a stretcher by teh ski patrol
So there my friends are some of my happiest and unhappiest. More than you asked for, eh?