Saturday, February 20, 2010

A Mess at Mile 7

Running Tip: Try to avoid eating fiber before a long run to minimize stomach upset. A sourdough cinnamon raisin English muffin with some peanut butter is a good bet. That's some carbs and protein minus too much fiber.

This will be a short post because I am tired and not feeling at all witty. I did my 14 miler today in this crap:

And now I feel like this (don't be jealous of my purple sweatshirt):

Here's me doing tree pose in my sleep. What form! :


I will tell you, it was surprisingly a good run. Ken agreed to go for the first four with me, but since he only had eight on tap for today, he planned to turn around and head home at the four mile mark. This left me ten to do on my own, but it turned out I ran by my friend Joie's house and she agreed to run the last 4.5 with me.

Here's how it went.

We got up to 25 degrees and snow coming down. I tried not to think about how this would feel over the course of 14 miles or over two hours of running. Ken just ordered some Chia seeds from nutsonline. (I love that name. I wonder if you can buy other nuts there. Big nuts, small nuts, nuts with hair, bald nuts, schweaty nuts). Anyway, these seeds have a whopping 11 grams of fiber per serving. He dumped them in his OJ with a vengeance. I commented that it seemed like a lot, and maybe he should find out how much to put in. He asked if I would like him to call the Tarahumara Indians to find out (If you've read "Born to Run" you know what the eff I'm talking about - the original barefoot runners). Smart ass. Anyway, I feared that all that fiber wouldn't bode well on the run, but no messes for him.

Me on the other hand, now that's another story. He left me alone and shivering on a country road at mile four. My water had leaked out of my hydration belt onto my ass, which had completely frozen over. So, I literally did freeze my ass off. The snow was coming down with some force and I was running into the wind. I ran with my head down, chin tucked into my neck. Fortunately, at mile five I headed east and the wind wasn't come right for me. I picked up the pace for awhile and was feeling great. Hadn't eaten anything, but was loving my bright green Accelerade. That stuff is awesome. I like that you get a substantial amount of carbs and even some protein. Here are the details:

Anyway, around mile 7 I had some mild stomach cramping. Nothing to write home about, nothing to search out a bush about. The gas moved through followed by an unexpected warmth that could only mean one thing. Shit! (that's right). Not a lot. Just a squirt. I still had 7 miles to go. I'm not proud of soiling myself, but shit happens (I just made that up). Thank god I passed on the Chia seeds.

At mile 8 I tried this Honey Stinger gel.

I thought the honey would sit better on my tummy than the typical gels and gus. I thought it was disgusting. As if they added tons of sugar to an already too sweet serving of honey. I dribbled it on the road for some sweet tooth squirrel to find later.

The rest of the run was quiet and actually quite beautiful (if you don't count the underwear).

Overall, it was 14 miles in 2:14 (9:35 avg). Not too bad given the snow and the turd. Okay, I lied, this post wasn't that short. And Ken still hasn't taken a dump.

PS: Don't forget my Yurbud giveaway!

Drinking: H2O

40 comments:

  1. Nice run! Have you ever tried Hammer Gels from Hammer Nutrition? As a gastric bypass person...all I have is a pouch for a stomach and can't handle MOST gels...but I'm having alot of success with these!

    As always....great post...great blog

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  2. OMG you are too funny. Great job on the run but sorry about the turd incident. I guess you can say you've been initiated???

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  3. Oh Beth, I bow to you running in this crap today. I woke up to the same conditions, obviously since we just live closeby and all, and I wimped out and did....don't pass out at this one....19.98 miles on the treadmill. I walked the last .02 miles....and I didn't care. I was scared to death I was going to slip and kill and ankle if I ran outdoors so I sweated out about a gallon of water instead indoors on the beast. I gathered up some recruits to help me so I wouldn't quit. Sorry about your little fiber problem...errrrr!! You defintely earned my running stud of the day award for your venture outdoors. I hope and pray for our run next weekend we have clear skies and 60 degrees! Hope you got a nice nap :).

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  4. Glad your run ended up going mostly good. So, you are saying my high fiber, low carb dinner isn't the best thing to have the night before a race? Hmmmm...

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  5. I am jealous of your purple sweatshirt. This is my favorite shade of purple.
    Sorry about your underwear though and I know how you feel. Yes, I do. After several years of running I still haven't figured out what will stop that s... (I want to be polite here) and what won't.
    Love chia seeds though.

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  6. Nice run beth! You kicked butt! Way to get out there in that crap- i couldnt have done it!!

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  7. Wow...a frozen shitty ass. Now that's impressive.

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  8. I can't wait to read your blog everyday... especially if I need my "poop" fix. Love your humor and your purple sweat shirt!

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  9. great run...well aside from the poop haha. i love the way you write. too funny!

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  10. You and your hubs are like me and mine. He can eat 1/2 a cow and go and bust out a run with no issues..me on the other hand...I know where every stop in our neighborhood it.
    Cin raisin bagel+PB is always my long run food.

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  11. wow, that is awesome. God am I glad I live in Florida. I remember those kind of days running in the snow while living in Ohio and Germany. That was a great pace for snowy roads. Good job.

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  12. Code Browns are never much fun - best to be running solo when they happen. I've found that licorice is a big trigger for me. I should NEVER eat a whole bag the day before a long run.

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  13. You are my heroine for running in that crap.

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  14. Haha...everyone is saying 'you're awesome for running in that crap' and I can't help but laugh to myself like a 10yr old school boy. You were literally running in 'crap'. That's awesome. I admire you for staying out in that sh*t...weather and bodily waste. :)

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  15. Bagels are also a good low fiber option.

    Those Stinger gels are horrifying.

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  16. Awesome run and post. I just bought Honey Stinger chews, I'll have to try them out. Gel freaks me out.

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  17. wow kudos for you running in that mess!

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  18. we totally should've been virtual running buddies yesterday. I did 14 in 2:14 as well. no sharting here though, thankfully.

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  19. I haven't tried the Honey Stinger gels or chews at all- but now I don't even think I want to. Way to get the run and keep going with the poo incident!

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  20. Your poo posts are incredible. I'm currently living abroad, and the other day I was talking with some fellow foreigners about the bathroom/pooping hazards of third world travel, and after many rounds of bathrooms-gone-wrong tales, I decided to tell one of my running-in-pee stories to these non-runners. Bad choice. They nearly laughed me out of the room, saying that I was crazy and abnormal and that that was the most disgusting thing they'd ever heard. Piss-our-pants girl, they promised to call me. I'm so glad to be in solidarity with other runners who understand the nuisance of bodily functions during extended runs. Thanks for that!

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  21. Dude...turd-occurances are horrid. Cruddy that you had to go through it.

    Good for you on sticking it out though - that's the important part!

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  22. haha you had a frozen ass..I mean that's not funny except that it didn't happen to me. :) Glad you got out there and I agree there are only a few gels that i can stomach

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  23. I am quite new to the blog world and a slow learner too but I love your blogs so I wanted to pass to you the sunshine award.

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  24. Sounds like your run was better than mine! I would take crappy pants over a twisted ankle any day. I went head first into snow bank on top of green mountain....F you winter

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  25. Oh no! I definitely feel like running + eating healthier has awakened my intestines. So inconvenient!!

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  26. You are too funny! Love reading your blog. That looks like one massive snow storm you got there!

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  27. Somehow I just *knew* what your post title was all about.

    Definitely a good call apssing on those Chia Seeds!

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  28. I still haven't tried chia. But my friend's husband started working for a chia distributor 2 months after I read "Born To Run", so eventually I know I'll get some freebies to force me to try them out.

    Did you LOVE the book?
    If so, check out my daughter last week at her first 1 mile race of this track season with a great big SMILE in lap 3!!
    http://www.thespiritedwoman.com/go_blog_blog_blog/2010/02/let-the-meets-begin.html

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  29. God I am so glad I didn't have to run in that crap. Nice job for your though. I want that purple jersey.

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  30. you are an inspiration to me..i can't believe you ran in that weather (well i'm not inspired to soil myself but the rest sounded good)! Way to go :)

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  31. Great 14! I'm getting a bit fed up running in the cold as well. It would kill me to have frozen water on my but.
    As for the "crap" that happens, sorry about that. I would be horrified. I don't DARE to pass gas on a run. With the amount of fiber I eat, it wouldn't be contained to only a little "squirt". :(

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  32. I needed to read this today! Thank you! Well done on your run! Sorry about the poo. That is one of my biggest fears!

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  33. You crack me up!! Thanks for the warnings on what to eat/not to eat..I'm new to this running/jogging/walking really fast thing...

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  34. You are so funny!!!

    I love to run when it is snowing...minus the mess of course. You need some cornfields to duck into!

    Great job putting those miles. Glad you had company for at least part of the way.

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  35. Accelerade sounds awesome...off to Google.

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  36. I second the suggestion on Hammer Gel. I love their products and have NEVER gotten tummy upset/cramping or nauseated from them. This is coming from someone that just went through a bout of serious tummy issues.

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  37. Blah, that honey gel LOOKS gross. But, since I am such a tight wad I probably would have ate it anyway and then craped my pants on the run....or maybe barfed. maybe both!!

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  38. LMAO! Too funny. But, seriously, I love your dedication. Really inspiring.

    Winks & Smiles,
    Wifey

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  39. I love, love, love reading your shit stories. They always make me feel better about my own shit escapades!

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