Thursday, September 16, 2010

Downhill Treadmill and All Things Lazy

I don’t have a “Three Things Thursday” or a “Funny Foto Friday” theme on this blog. In fact, I don't have any themes at all, except the common thread of bodily functions (Fart Friday? Turd Tuesday?).

So, let’s just call today’s spotlight, Are You Kidding Me?

large-downhill

Why run uphill when it’s so much easier to run downhill? If you have a treadmill, you need a Downhill Treadmill Converter! Simply place the patented DTC blocks (made from recycled plastic) beneath the back of your treadmill. It’s easy! It’s fun! And with the patented ‘multi-angle’ blocks you can choose a gentle slope or a steeper slope, depending on how weak you’re feeling. It’s like two Downhill Treadmill Converters in one!

Observations:

  • It doesn’t look safe. In fact I’m sure I’d run right into the front of the treadmill by .10 of a mile
  • Do you have to be an Albino to use this product?
  • Aren’t those just the blocks you use in yoga class? I could steal two of those and some red licorice from Target and make this for $1.00. $29.99 my ass.
  • Put a toilet on the end and it would be perfect.

If you haven't checked out the site where you buy this thing,  The Weak Shop, you really should. It’s all things for lazy ass people. Like the Food Lifter which brings food to your mouth for you. Or the Support Hat which holds your head up straight for you if you’re too tired. I might get that hat to wear after my next marathon. Or the next time I’m drunk.

Just ran 10 miles in 1:23 (8:20 avg). And it wasn’t on a downhill treadmill. Don’t call me a lazy ass.

42 comments:

  1. Wow, I really like the Freedom Strider - a walker for grown-ups!

    Awesome speedy 10-miler!

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  2. that is by far, the MOST ridiculous website i have ever been to. a wallet walker? really?!

    are you sure this isnt your website? lol.

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  3. great warranty!

    You cannot purchase a Downhill Treadmill Converter. If you could, we cannot guarantee that the Downhill Treadmill Converter you purchase would last beyond two minutes. This is because our factory workers would most likely feel weaker than normal during the manufacturing process, probably due to the fact that they don’t drink enough milk. Lapses in product quality would be very likely.

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  4. Andrew...bwahahhah...does it really say that or did you make that up?

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  5. #1 You would eat the licorice, so that wouldn't work.

    #2 (No, not that #2) Ask Jamoosh, downhill treadmilling is actually healthy, not lazy.

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  6. Is this for real? This is a joke site right? Please, please tell me it is or I will be so disappointed in society.

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  7. Downhill treadmilling is actually a fairly common training tool for crazy people, like my wife, who run up and down mountains for fun. The implement of choice in our house is a cinder block, however.

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  8. Isn't that from the Got Milk? commercials???? My son and I saw a couple the other night and laughed. They look real, until the end where they mention the milk thing. Great advertising if you ask me.

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  9. whoever came up with this site is weak. I could have thought of way better weak shit to sell people.
    Although....they may be onto something with the chair pants....

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  10. May I appropriately state... LMAO?!

    I immediately questioned the safety of this product and my knees hurt just looking at it. What I need is a treadmill with a seat! Oh wait... that's a bike.

    Also... may I ask why we no longer know what you are drinking when writing your posts? Are you too lazy to drink when writing now?

    Thanks for sharing. It put a smile on my face... and I needed one today.

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  11. Jennifer - totally forgot I used to put what I was drinking!! Sheesh. I must get back to that. Right now drinking: grande bold coffee w/extra cream.

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  12. Great job on the 10-miler...speedy gonzalez you are!

    I've printed off about 15 of these products from the website, just to post up and around the clinic as a joke. :)

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  13. LOL! Thanks for the site suggestion. But I think I do a great job of being lazy without any added items for purchase :)

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  14. This kind of stuff makes me sad for America. Good lord.

    No doubt I'd run myself right into the front of that machine - and then I'd be pissed that my white albino skin was peeled right off by that rotating belt *and* I screwed up a run. Lose, LOSE!

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  15. I love the downhill treadmill! PR's here I come!!

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  16. I've been saying they need to make a treadmill go down hill. It's only fair.

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  17. Personally, I like the freedom strider. It's like the walkers you can get for babies.

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  18. Actually, the people behind the site are the milk people - everything on the site is a joke. It's about drinking more milk - I really like that food processor thing that puts food in your mouth though. I could use that when I'm holding two beers at a football game.

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  19. Right up there with the "trekdesk," where people put a desk contraption over the treadmill and then work while walking so slowly you don't break a sweat in your suit.

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  20. That's about the most ridulous thing I've ever seen. Then again, we are in the land of lazy asses. Good job on the run.

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  21. Do people actually buy the stuff????

    WOW.

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  22. Pulling out the credit card RIGHT NOW! Hell, maybe that's all I need to stop hating treadmills!
    FYI, I do think you should do a Turd Tuesday AND a Fart Friday ANNNND a Shit Saturday. I'm totally confident you'll have enough content for them all.

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  23. That's hilarious!

    Although I was reading on Runner's World, that you should put your treadmill on negative incline if you're training for a race mainly on the treadmill (which I'm not, because that's crazy-talk, but some people do). Apparently it'll have the same impact on your joints as running outside does. So poor lazy people will get screwed.

    I never even knew treadmills had inclines below zero...

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  24. No wonder you go #2 so much, it's the grande bold working it's magic. LMAO

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  25. Is it bad that I kind-of want to buy that? I LOVE to use the downhill function on the dreadmill at the gym for easy days! There I said it!
    Nice work on the speedy 10 miler!!!

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  26. Seriously?? That is hilarious. But maybe it would help my ITB problems if I could run downhill more. Just sayin'...

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  27. That's pretty damn funny - thanks for the chuckle!

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  28. I totally need a pair of chair pants.

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  29. You can touch my blocks if you want.

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  30. truth:

    you rock - thanks again.

    fiction:

    I don't [yet] have these.

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  31. It looks like it is about to explode.
    OK I am paranoid.

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  32. Ha ha...that is crazy! That graphic is hilarious!

    Nice job on your 10 miler! :)

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  33. I need a beer retriever. Oh wait, I have a wife...

    Oh no I didn't!

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  34. This gives me an idea....... Bike, treadmill - combine.

    Hilarity ensues.

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  35. FYI...These can also be taped to the bottom of your shoes for down-hill training when there are no hills in sight.

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  36. I know someone who puts telephone books under her treadmill - they're free :).

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