Thursday, September 2, 2010

Random Things That Make Me Curious

Curiosity #1:

When you are in the midst of having gum surgery and the dentist says, “We’re going to put some bone in there to help with healing,” (in other words: bone graft) whose bone  are they referring to exactly?  I mean, I’m in the chair, my mouth full of gauze and suction devices and sutures, so it’s not like I can ask about the bone. But, dammit, if bone is going in there, I’d like to know from where. I’d take bone from Lance Armstrong (that’s what she said) any day. Even a prehistoric dinosaur bone would be good. But, I don’t really want Jeffery Dahmer’s old bones or a dog bone from Purina. All you dental people: where the hell do they get the bones? 

And, why is it that the dentist tries to make conversation when you’ve got all that crap in your mouth?

D: How’s your day going?

Me: Arrgaghhghhhh

D: I smell something. Are you sweating?

Me: Arrghaarrghha

D: I’m putting some bone in your mouth

Me: Realarrhahea??? (good god, did he just say that? At least he’s cute)

I sweat like a dog when I’m in the dentist’s chair. Must be a response to anxiety. And pain.

Curiosity #2:

Are my kids the only ones who mess with body parts? My body parts? They wiggle my jiggles on my arms. They flick my waddle under my chin. Last night Emma was messing with my leg and said, “I love your quads. They’re so fun.” Fun? Like they know how to party? Are my kids weird? Don’t answer that.

Curiosity #3:

Who is Wendy Williams and why does she have a talk show? I haven’t watched daytime TV in forever, but I’ve been on my ass on the couch now for two days. There really are 500 channels and nothing on. I could so have a talk show. Would you watch it?

Curiosity #4:

Why do peas make the best ice pack? I hear they work well after a vasectomy, too. Just FYI in case you are headed down the ball-burning road:


Curiosity #5:

How does Kara Goucher have such neat handwriting on a shirt with a Sharpie? I was lucky enough to win a signed t-shirt from Miss Zippy. The shirt came from I picked out the shirt and they sent it to Kara to sign. She loves me:



Monica from Remanents even sent me a few of her running greeting cards, which I love. Perfect to have around when you’re sending off that quick note or a great gift for that runner friend. Think I’ll send one to Kara. Or Dean.


I’m hoping running resumes for me tomorrow. Or the next day. I’m being good and letting my body heal…I’m hoping the new bone helps me run faster.


  1. hahahah just what i needed to read after a very long day at work! except this is way too much thinking for me ;)

    heal up and run fast! :)

  2. I would def watch your talk show. And I have no f*ng clue who Wendy Williams is, or why she has a show.

  3. I don't understand why dentists try to talk to you during a procedure too. It's just so awkward! I would rather they just stay quite and work as quickly as possible to get it done!
    I hope you heal quickly!
    Love the shirt and cards...that's a great gift!

  4. oh gosh yeah its usually pig bone. I only know b/c I've had terrible dental issues lately!! Sorry about the teeth probs... and the children playing with the body parts... and most of all having wendy williams come into ANY part of your life (that has to be the worst part!).

  5. I can tell you where the bone came from (for me anyway) only if you won't get too grossed out. My dentist...I mean maxillofacial surgeon...took what I'll call a melon baller and scooped some out from behind my last bottom molar. The sound haunts me to this day.
    Boo for gum surgery! Hope you're healing nicely.

  6. Good lord, I hope you are ok, that's gotta be tough. Never had gum surgery and I hope I NEVER will.

    I've never heard of that talk show host, but I would definitely agree to watch your talk show as long as you had me on it every once in a while. We could talk running and poop stops.

    You got a signed Kara shirt AND you got to run with Dean? so lucky. :)

  7. "How you doin'?" Sometimes she's funny!

    "You cheated on your boyfriend with his father. And he's 75!" Love the one you're with!

    "Billy, you are NOT father!" Go hug your kids - they are yours!

    "So you're suing your ex-boyfriend for money you paid toward his cell phone bill?!" Not feeling like a complete idiot anymore!

    You have to love daytime television to make you feel better about your life. I would most definitely watch your show! LOL!

  8. Usually it's either cadaver bone or animal bone...but it's so irradiated and cleaned, there's really nothing to worry about. :)

    I hope you start to feel better soon!

  9. Saw Bill Cosby's old dentist routine last night--HILARIOUS! You should check it out. (A friend posted it on FaceBook; I don't have the link myself, sorry)

    Frozen peas: I bet frozen corn would work just as well. It's because they're small and so the bag can mold itself around a shape better than ice cubes.

  10. Love the cards.
    My ex-dentist was a big talker and he expected me to talk back to him. Maybe he never sat on the dentist chair himself.

  11. Cadaver bone, baby! Read the obituaries. You may have part of old Mr. Smith in your mouth!

    (hahaha... and I didn't even mean that in the perverted sense.)

  12. Hilarious! My kids wouldn't dare touch anything that wiggles or jiggles on me or they'd be seeing the dentist to have some teeth replaced! Not really, but you get the idea.

    And frozen peas are good after the snip; we stocked up on them - and, then, they got tossed - the peas that is.

  13. LMAO!!!

    You freakin' rock. What a nut.

    I mean that in a good way.

  14. I love a good laugh! YOU are frekin hillarious! I love the questions, I would tevo your talk show if I had tevo. Peas are great, I tend to pull out frozen meat once and a while. Keep the laughs coming, I need them!


  15. Ouch! I have a oral bone graft but it was my own bone taken from the back of my jaw. PAINFUL!!!

    Your kids are hysterical! My little one likes to pat my butt with both hands. I mean really does it jiggle THAT much. He laughs like crazy. Good thing I don't hold a grudge!

  16. Glad your surgery went well! Oh, I laughed at the "that's what she said" parts!! I'm jealous that you get to be BFF with Kara and Dean. You are a lucky and awesome runner!

  17. I hate dental work. I'd totally freak out if they surprised me with a bone graft like that.

    Cool autographed shirt!

  18. I don't like going to the dentist at all. I sweat at the dentist too, I think because of anxiety. I feel bad when I leave the dentist chair all sweaty. I feel like I should go grab a towel and wipe it down like I do at the gym. Hope you feel better soon!

  19. Mercy! I can't stand the dentist either. I hope you heal super extra fast and find something decent to watch on TV.

  20. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA bone in your mouth!

  21. Feel better soon! P.s.: usually it's cow bone they put in there.

  22. Stuck at home watching only "rabbit ear" TV one day, I saw Wendy Williams and... wondered for a while if she might be a female impersonator!

    I also saw the Dr. Oz show. There's a segment called, "Am I normal?" where people say something about their body that may or not be a symptom and the audience votes n whether it's normal or not before the doctor weighs in. I SO want to be there, just to say something like, "I only breathe through one nostril at a time, unless I'm thinking about Margaret Thatcher in her underwear. Am I normal?"

  23. i'd watch your talk show for sure! i LOVE the sayings on those greting cards, i'm gonna go check out her stuff. so cool! thanks for sharing

  24. Ok
    I'm so meeting you in Vegas next time you go. I'll bring my running man & my juke box.

    Love this post.

  25. So please explain the vasectomy, peas, and you sniffing the bag.

  26. Kovas: these must be leftover from when Ken got the snip.

  27. EMZ: you and me in Vegas!!! Your wear the heels, I'll bring my training bra. Or sniff the peas. This could be a crazy combination of two running moms.

  28. Yours would be the only talk show I watch. Hope you heal quickly and get to run today!

  29. The bone in my mouth (that's what she said) is made of a paste like substance that gets hard *giggle*.

    My daughter touches my boobs all the time! UGH!

    Love the shirt. No clue who that person is.

    Peas healed my husband's balls. Feel free to bring that up next month.

  30. OBR: OMG you made me laugh so hard with your "ball" comment I think I broke a suture.

  31. My daughter is obsessed with thighs. It used to be boobs. Heal quickly!!

  32. i've never had foreign bone inserted, but i have always wondered why the hygienist insists on having a conversation while she's got her hands in my mouth. love those running cards! feel better soon!

  33. I've had the same Wendy Williams question, too! And I'd totally watch your talk show over all the others any day!
    ....did you ever get to ask about the bone??

  34. First: NICE that's what she said. I laughed - hard.

    Second: Your kids are a riot

    Third: That REALLY sucks about your mouth. SUcks.

  35. Get better soon. I had oral surgery last September. UGH! Enjoy time watching the boob tube. Seriously.

  36. ugh, i hate how dentists talk when they have their hands in your mouth. ummm, how can we respond? feel better!