When you are in the midst of having gum surgery and the dentist says, “We’re going to put some bone in there to help with healing,” (in other words: bone graft) whose bone are they referring to exactly? I mean, I’m in the chair, my mouth full of gauze and suction devices and sutures, so it’s not like I can ask about the bone. But, dammit, if bone is going in there, I’d like to know from where. I’d take bone from Lance Armstrong (that’s what she said) any day. Even a prehistoric dinosaur bone would be good. But, I don’t really want Jeffery Dahmer’s old bones or a dog bone from Purina. All you dental people: where the hell do they get the bones?
And, why is it that the dentist tries to make conversation when you’ve got all that crap in your mouth?
D: How’s your day going?
D: I smell something. Are you sweating?
D: I’m putting some bone in your mouth
Me: Realarrhahea??? (good god, did he just say that? At least he’s cute)
I sweat like a dog when I’m in the dentist’s chair. Must be a response to anxiety. And pain.
Are my kids the only ones who mess with body parts? My body parts? They wiggle my jiggles on my arms. They flick my waddle under my chin. Last night Emma was messing with my leg and said, “I love your quads. They’re so fun.” Fun? Like they know how to party? Are my kids weird? Don’t answer that.
Who is Wendy Williams and why does she have a talk show? I haven’t watched daytime TV in forever, but I’ve been on my ass on the couch now for two days. There really are 500 channels and nothing on. I could so have a talk show. Would you watch it?
Why do peas make the best ice pack? I hear they work well after a vasectomy, too. Just FYI in case you are headed down the ball-burning road:
How does Kara Goucher have such neat handwriting on a shirt with a Sharpie? I was lucky enough to win a signed t-shirt from Miss Zippy. The shirt came from Remanents.com. I picked out the shirt and they sent it to Kara to sign. She loves me:
Monica from Remanents even sent me a few of her running greeting cards, which I love. Perfect to have around when you’re sending off that quick note or a great gift for that runner friend. Think I’ll send one to Kara. Or Dean.
I’m hoping running resumes for me tomorrow. Or the next day. I’m being good and letting my body heal…I’m hoping the new bone helps me run faster.