Friday, September 3, 2010

Sorry Mr. Officer

Before I move into the trials and tribulations of today (trust me, it’s worth the wait), have you discovered the new SIGG personalized water bottles? Cafe Press offered to let me create one* and here’s what I came away with:


Pretty cool, eh? Yes, that’s me. Yes, it says “Shut Up and Run.” Yes, the real product is crystal clear and not blurry. You can find millions of personalized water bottles, cool aprons and posters at CafePress – for any topic, interest or brand! (Plus you can get 20% off for Labor Day).

Now for the day. I don’t know what the hell’s going on. It could be all that pea-sniffin”:

P1070508 I just cannot get over how good I look in this picture

Or the new bone in my mouth.

Or the drugs from the surgery.

Or the fact that I’ve slept sitting up the past two nights.

Or not having run for three, yes, three days.

In any event, it’s been a weird day.

First of all, I went to Costco with my slippers on. Didn’t know it until I got there. At least they’re the kind all the cool kids are wearing:


On the way to Costco I got pulled over. I was innocently returning some trail shoes to Runner’s Roost. I had parked the car when Mr. Officer approached and asked me to get back in the car. I guess they don’t like talking to you casually outside of your car. You might be a 110 pound girl who just had gum surgery. You might jump him, then he’d have to restrain you and worry about a lawsuit.

He says, “I didn’t turn on my lights and siren. I didn't want to embarrass you in front of all of these people.” (I had just parked in front of a Starbucks. He clearly doesn’t know I’m used to embarrassing myself in front of large groups of people).  Then he told me I made an illegal u-turn. I told him I never saw the sign. I really didn’t. He gave me a warning. He shook his finger at me and said, “I’m warning you!” Hahhaha (I make myself laugh).

I do get lucky a lot on the road (no, not in that sense). I am a chronic speedster. I always get warnings, no tickets. Great, now that I said that we all know what’s going to happen tomorrow.

My mom and dad, who were in the car, said, “He was the nicest officer!! You should email the department and compliment him. He probably just thought you were cute that’s why he didn’t ticket you.” Thanks Pops. Your parents always think you’re cuter than the rest of the world. Any other 43 year olds go to Costco with their parents? You should try it. We have a good time especially when my dad hides the cart and I walk around carrying 49 rolls of toilet paper. Seriously, everyone should be lucky enough to have parents like mine.

At Costco I bought these Halloween nightlights (cue the crickets):


Do you ever get home from Costco and wonder why the hell you bought something? In the moment I just needed that 95 lb bag of cheese curls and that 40 oz container of Pepto. Halloween nightlights? Really?

Lastly, when I got home from this exciting outing, I made a sandwich. Perfection. Turkey on whole wheat with swiss, mayo, lettuce, tomato. On a new plate.


Only I forgot I can’t eat it. I can’t bite into things. You can see the bite mark where I tried. I’m going back to bed with my mashed potatoes.

Plus, I can’t run today. My face is swollen. If I move around too much my head starts pounding and my mouth aches. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to do my long run this weekend. Gasp. I guess that means more Wendy Williams and TMZ in my future.

Never fear. Next week I will rev back up! My marathon training won’t know what hit it. In the meantime I will not stress about not running. I will not try to figure out how to make up for lost miles. I will not run in place while watching Wendy Williams. I will not call the race director and ask him/her to move the race ahead a couple of weeks so I will be ready. I will not obsess.

I’m not sure what Labor Day is, but it means long weekend.

(Kidding. I know what it is. I was in labor once. Or twice. It’s nice they have a holiday for women like me).

*Fine Print: Cafe Press gave me this water bottle free of charge.


  1. i <3 cafepress. it's soooo amazing! glad you got away without getting a ticket. i've been lucky on that front too!

  2. That bottle is awesome! You always get the coolest stuff!
    You're so lucky for just getting a warning! :)
    Sorry you're still hurting from the surgery. Don't worry about making up the missed miles. Just concentrate on resting, watching TMZ (love that show!), and getting better!

  3. Happy Labor Day.
    Hope you can run soon.

  4. Two years ago I went into labor and then had my son on Labor Day!!
    Hope you're back out running again soon :)

  5. I go to costco with my mom all the time. And end up buying way too much crap I don't need. And the giant muffins. Hope the peas work their magic and you feel better soon!

  6. I had to laugh at the slippers, I once went out with two different shoes on.

  7. Cute bottle. I get excited about just getting my name on mine but a picture? That would be cool.

    Feel better. You certainly don't have to worry about missing mileage; the rest will do you some good.

  8. I need to get cuter. They always give me the flippin ticket!!

  9. We have a Sam's Club; I love to take my kids there around lunchtime. They fill up on all the free snacks and I don't have to buy lunch. It makes me feel like the forty bucks I pay a year to shop there is well spent. :)

    It sucks to not be able to eat OR run. Hope you feel better soon.

  10. You got me remembering Marge Simpson saying, "That's a really good price for 48 pounds of nutmeg!"

    You know you've been sick a long time when you can name the staff at TMZ: Max, Dax (Chris), Charles, Anna...

  11. i like going to costco w/ my mom!! hope you're healing up ok!

  12. I read your blog cause I think you are cute.

  13. Does not sound fun! I am laughing about the slippers, though. And it's so true--what is up with all the kids running around in slippers and PJs in public?

  14. Going to costco in slippers is the new cool thing! I totally understand about the running, we just got in a roll-over car accident and aren't able to run for 3 days (which happens to be over the weekend and our long run)! We have a marathon coming up too! I hope you heal quickly and are able to eat soon :)

  15. That water bottle is pretty dang cool! Hope you can drink out of it soon!

    I LOVE going to Costco with my mamma! But I just don't understand one thing, Costco brings out the worst in people! The worst!!! Like they're gonna run out of that 40 pound bag of cheese! Sheesh!
    Feel better!

  16. Oh, I know everything about dental surgery, well, not everything but a lot. I had 2 implants due to a freak accident as a kid. So, the swelling. You can run if you don't care about your appearance. I did not skip one day after my last implant (with bone graft - from the back of my mouth) 2 years ago. I asked the surgeon if I can do a 20 miler the next day, and she said surely except it might be too cold outside (it was winter). Anyway, these things are not fun but you get through! And peas to help!

  17. I've worn those exactly type of slippers to the store all the time - I just really don't care anymore - hehe. At least you didn't grill your turkey sandwich on your new Halloween nightlights :). Hope your mouth's feeling better!!

  18. ill take that yummy turkey sandwich off your hands for you! mmmm!! sorry you cant eat it! sounds like costco with your parents is fun- i go to sams club with my mom all the time... :)

  19. I love going to Costco with my folks. All the things I can't normally justify (tiny kitchen/no storage), I finally get because they'll split 'em with me. Hooray!

    Glad you got a warning, and I hope you're on the mend today.

    PS: A friend gave me an awesome blog award, and I'm passing it on to you because you are inspiring! I linked it as my website here.