A First For Me

I discovered a new thing I love about running today. It is a sport of “firsts.” As in:

• First time you crap your pants on a long run or in a race. It doesn’t have to be a full on explosion, even a squirt qualifies. If you keep running long enough, this is bound to happen. Oh, you think you’re better than that? Just you wait, crappy pants.
• The first time you hit the wall in a race. Bye bye glycogen. Not a good feeling.
• The first time you cross the finish line of a marathon. No words to describe that one.
• The first time your iPod dies when you were really counting on it (Emz a couple weeks ago)
• The first time you fart really loud in your running group (or at a bar – Jamoosh)
• The first time you cry or sob either out of pain or because of the emotion of being almost to the finish line.
• The first time you chafe in places the sun don’t shine

This was my first today.

I got my FIRE back today. I wanted to run seven miles fast. I had to get to the dentist and only had a certain amount of time after dropping off kids at school and my appointment (plus, I needed time to go home and floss prior so I could pretend that I floss regularly. I’m sure I pull nothing over on the dentist). I didn't have an exact pace in mind, but I wanted it to be significantly faster than marathon pace (dream MP = 8:20). 

I killed it. Overall pace was 8:02 for the seven miles (with miles 5 & 6 at 7:41 – oh yeah!).

However….when I got to the half way mark, I took a few swigs of Cytomax, as I had been doing for the first 3.5 miles. I felt fine. No tummy trouble. No queasiness. I was moderately tired, but nothing to write home about. Not one minute after I made the turn for home I threw up in my mouth! Significantly. No freaking joke. This has never happened to me on a run, even one involving intervals.

Totally in shock from the fluid coming up from my throat, I exclaimed “Shit!” (kind of garbled) and proceeded to gasp and choke and cough (but kept running, hard core I tell you). I swallowed it back down (hard core) because it never occurred to me to spit. I was in shock.

Guys, I told you yesterday, I have a vomit phobia. That means I NEVER throw up. I haven't had the stomach flu since 1988. I think the last time I legitimately threw up was in Vegas two years ago after a dirty martini the size of the Situation’s head.  I had to dissociate from my body because I cannot look at myself or stand myself if I’m vomiting. Good news is I could never be bulimic.

Anyway, this was a startling first for me. Exertion does the weirdest things to your body. I’ve adjusted to the poop thing on runs. But, this puke business better not become a habit. It would be like Phil smelling paint on Modern Family last night. Not attractive.

What’s a first for you while running? Don’t be embarrassed.

PS: I am edging towards 800 of you fancy followers…who are the 4 of you who are going to get me there???