Do not ask me what is going on in this picture that Ken took of me this morning right before our run. Maybe one of you could provide an appropriate caption (e.g., SUAR demonstrates how to pee standing up without getting your shorts wet).
Today, after this picture was taken, running pissed me off.
At the end of the 7 mile run, I was in tears. You would have thought it was 29 miles, not 7. Things hurt. My heart rate got way higher than it should have for what seemed like no reason. I had to stop twice in the bushes. “Maybe I like to run, but my body doesn't like for me to run,” I whined to Ken. I seriously had a moment of being tired of trying to make something work that felt like it wasn’t working. Square into circle, anyone?
Do you ever feel this way? Can you please say “yes” just to make me feel better?
Ken reminded me everyone has bad days. I know that. It’s just that I have tried so hard to improve my performance and to prevent injury through heart rate training and form changes that I thought it would be easier by now. I thought things would feel more effortless. I thought my aches and pains would be gone. No, I am not injured, but yes, my lower back hurts and gets tight and my knee and hamstring ache sometimes. I want that to all be gone. Maybe I want my 20 year old body back. Or, maybe I just need some perspective.
Then, I glance around the viral world (and I know I shouldn’t compare myself), but there are victories everywhere (PRs, marathon finishes, etc.). I have to remind myself that it is just like 99% of what people post on their Facebook statuses: it is all positive, upbeat and “perfect.” Most people don’t post the crap like:
“I just ran 7 miles, everything hurt, I had to poop and it wasn’t that fun.”
I really did feel down today. So down for a few minutes that even a donut and a huge cup of coffee did not make me smile. Now, that’s bad.
Ever had bad days, weeks, months with running?
If so, do you ever wonder if running is just not for you? I love to run so much, there is no way I am giving it up. But, I do want to find strategies to help with some of these issues. Probably for me it will mean more rest, more strength training, better hydration (I think this was why my heart rate got so high) and the most important thing: not being so hard on myself and not comparing myself to others. There is no reason in hell not to smile at a donut.