I remember the first time I learned what an oxymoron was. I was sitting in my eighth grade classroom desperately waiting for the bell to ring so I could snag that box of Jell-O out of my locker, lick my finger and dip it into the sweet sugar powder (please tell me I am not het only one who ever did this). The teacher, Ms. Weiner (not kidding), described an oxymoron as a figure of speech that was contradictory by its very nature. She gave the universal example of an oxymoron: jumbo shrimp.
“Jumbo shrimp?” I thought. It took a second, then the cleverness of the term descended upon me. “I get it! It’s big, but it’s small!” I was so stinking bright in the eighth grade it hurts. And, I was a style-fashionista (how ‘bout those cuffed jeans) with a middle hair part:
Shortly after that I become an expert in oxymorons. Some of my favorites:
I learned that sometimes oxies even show up in pictures:
Shut up already about the oxymorons, you might say. There is a method to my madness. Today I have decided my entire body is an oxymoron. I am a strong weakling. While I have decent endurance and muscle definition, I am inherently not balanced, not truly strong. Like most runners. I ignore strength training like I ignore the fact that the filter on the furnace needs to be changed or that the toilet paper roll is empty.
If we know it’s good for us, why don’t we do it? Probably because it blows. It’s not sexy. But, like flossing your teeth, it needs to happen or the dental hygienist will hunt you down and kill you.
I’ll tell you right now why I don’t strength train. I don’t know how. I have never done it. I don’t know how to work the machines, except that spread eagle one where I show the entire gym the crotch of my shorts. I have no clue which exercises/moves are best for runners. I know I’m a broken record. I was supposed to start this about a month ago, but I am a winner loser.
This is where you come in. Get me unstuck.
Is strength training a part of your routine?
If you have a strength training program, I need some pointers. What exercise or plan have you found most helpful to you as a runner? Any links you could share?
Parting is such sweet sorrow,