Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Boob Tube and Leather Trousers

I was reading this in Fitness Magazine today:

P1130054

I thought, screw you pollsters! I agree with the Fitness Magazine people. If I want to wear a bikini past age 47, I’ll damn well do it. I am only 45, but in two years I’m hoping to still be doing the two piece thing. I mean, my body is far from perfect, but I work hard to stay in shape. If I want to flaunt it, I will.

In fact, I think 47+ women should be even more entitled to bikinis than 20-somethings. It is WAY harder to stay in shape when you are in your forties than when you are in your twenties. Trust me on this one. So, if you are 47+ and proud of your body, then go for it.

Glad I got that off my chest.

Apparently, 2,000 women ages 18 to 65 were polled. Here are some other findings:

image

Some don’t apply to me at all. Like I haven’t worn a “boob tube” since 6th grade and as for tight vests, well can’t say that’s a popular item in my closet. But as far as ponytails, Ugg boots and swimsuits go, I’ll be sporting those for awhile. What are trainers?

I’d like to know if there is a list for men. Here’s mine…

  • Speedos, never ever wear
  • Cut off jean shorts, 10 unless you are in the Village People
  • Long hair, 25 but only if you wash it regularly and don’t have lice
  • Swimsuit, forever
  • Turtleneck, 5 with Osh Gosh overalls
  • Belly button or ball piercing, never, ever
  • Button down shirt unbuttoned 5 buttons a la David Hasselhoff, 30
  • Tribal necklaces (conch shells, sharks teeth), never unless you are on Survivor or are 10 and on a beach trip with your family.
  • Thong, see “Speedo”

What are your thoughts? Should there be an age limit on certain items?  I think the belly button piercing is better under the age of 35.

What won’t you give up wearing as you get older?

Anything else men should never wear?

SUAR

84 comments:

  1. Women in their 60s shouldn't wear swimsuits? Uh ... what? This list is stupid. If you like the way you look and what you are wearing, go with it.

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  2. On my last few visits to Hawaii, I've noticed a terrible trend in bikinis: women who are either over 40 or who have had kids that wear strapless bandeau suits. Ladies, when there is only a 1.5" gap between your strapless top and your bikini waistband, it's time to get something in a more supportive, strappy design. Hike 'em up!

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  3. glad you don't know what 'trainers' are either, wtf are they? good list for men. add short running shorts.. 40 as long as they are actual runners..

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  4. So, women over age 61 are never allowed to go swimming again?! Harsh. I better get busy on some of the others because apparently a lot of stuff ends in the 44-45 range! I'm going to go put on my bikini with my leather boots!!


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  5. Trainers are running shoes...I assume they mean you shouldn't wear them unless you are actually running.

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  6. Trainers are a British term for sneakers. These kinds of lists kill me. If you can rock a bikini when you're 85 -- go for it. This annoys me just like all the critics of Madonna's halftime show at the SuperBowl last year who said she was "too old" to be dressed/performing that way. Huh? She's in better shape than most people on the planet (including those half her age) and puts on a great show. What in the world does age have to do with it? Rant over from this future-stiletto-wearing-granny.

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  7. Um Helen Mirren looks rocking in a two piece so I beg to differ.

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  8. I ditto the "trainers are running shoes". and agree with Icerunner completely :)

    LOL on this list. Glad I don't care what other people think of me too often since most people who pass ridiculous judgements have their own issues. And I totally agree that it's much harder to be bikini appropriate after kids than in the 20s...I still wore one then, not sure I'll ever be in shape enough again. However, I think it's fantastic that some of the women at the pool we belong to still have bikini bodies after kids!

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  9. This list is mainly ridiculous!!! There are SOOO many exceptions!

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  10. I guess if you can't wear sneakers after 44, the rest of the list follows logically.

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  11. Let me run upstairs and throw out all of my miniskirts because as of last week I'm too old for them. Whatevs. Wear what makes you happy and looks good! :)

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  12. I'm 61... I now have nothing to wear.

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  13. Oh my - I am too old or getting close to many of these. I'm 48 and I did cut off my pony tail last year (and donated it - as it was on my bucket list) and have no desire to grow it back. But if I do get that desire - I will grow it! Maybe even a grey one since I have been grey since age 35!! Yes, agreed that this list is ridiculous - and ridiculously funny, along with the comments of you all!! Since I am a runner, I can't wear stilettos anymore. I do like tall boots and think they look good if you have the legs and body for it - and I do wear a bikini still - and will as long as I look better than many of the young out of shape things wearing them around!!!

    Thanks for the laughs today!!!!

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  14. Oh my - I am too old or getting close to many of these. I'm 48 and I did cut off my pony tail last year (and donated it - as it was on my bucket list) and have no desire to grow it back. But if I do get that desire - I will grow it! Maybe even a grey one since I have been grey since age 35!! Yes, agreed that this list is ridiculous - and ridiculously funny, along with the comments of you all!! Since I am a runner, I can't wear stilettos anymore. I do like tall boots and think they look good if you have the legs and body for it - and I do wear a bikini still - and will as long as I look better than many of the young out of shape things wearing them around!!!

    Thanks for the laughs today!!!!

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  15. I was looking for the cover shot of Elle...

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  16. I'd like to amend your list for men a little - you can continue to wear a turtle-neck forever if (and only if) you are a member of the Wiggles.
    I think the poll was taken by a bunch of 16 year olds who think that 25 is ancient.

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  17. These comments are cracking me up. Especially the one above about turtlnecks and the Wiggles. HA!!

    I think if you look good in something at any age, go for it. You would not catch me EVER in a bikini. My last baby (who's now ten) was a 12 pounder. However, my legs are great so I proudly wear short skirts (and by "short skirts" I mean Athleta skorts or similar, not stripper miniskirts). And I'm almost 46.

    I have to say that I wish Hillary Clinton would cut her hair. Her face is showing her age and her long hair is not doing her any favors. I keep thinking how much better she would look with a cool chin-length bob.

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    1. I agree. Fuck what anyone else thinks. Once you make it into the 50s and are alive and kicking, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. If YOU think you look good, go for it. Personally, I'm one to hide and minimize the flab but it is not my place to tell someone else how to dress or what to wear.

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  18. My motto-"if you don't like it, look the other way." Don't people have better things to worry about than what others are wearing?
    -from a 40yr old, first-time mom of an 8 month old who wore a bikini last summer & last month, & will until the sun doesn't shine on me any more.

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  19. People should wear whatever makes them happy (as long as they aren't breaking any laws). If you feel you can rock a bikini then by all means ROCK IT!

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  20. I would like to add "skinny jeans" to your list for men. They should never wear them. Evah.

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  21. Of the 2,000 women ages 18 to 65 that were polled, 1,950 of them were 20 somethings! I'm 48 and not ready to wear purple with a red hat.

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  22. I don't think it matters what you wear but how you wear it as you age. I'm pretty glad that some items really shouldn't be worn by the over 45 crowd i.e. shorty shorts. I've never stopped wearing a bikini.
    If you love it, you will feel good and look good.

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  23. If you've got the skin and figure and confidence for it, or even close to it, or are working hard towards it, wear what you like. Or don't wear it, that's often ok too.

    My rant on what women wear is what they're doing when they wear it. Fluffing a skirt or a shirt so it settles properly as you stand up is fine. But yanking on stuff is gross, unsightly, makes you look like a weenie, and destroys the shape of your clothing. The example I often see is the t shirt that doesn't quite come to the waistband of the pants. So far so good. Fluffing it, or gently tugging it to where it belongs as mentioned earlier, is fine. But dragging it down to try to cover your entire butt is hideous. If you feel you must cover your butt, put on a shirt that does that, and look in the mirror before you leave home.

    As for the guys:
    1 is ok, if you're on the national swim team, or have a reasonable shot at it.
    I'm pretty much ok with the rest of the list. Although I have a bit of a fondness for turtleneck sweaters I don't have any.

    There's a fine line on fitness wear. The baggy shorts or T shirts are a no-go any time, and doubly so if they have holes in them. Even during a workout. Especially in the pool. The skin tight lycra stuff is only for when you are about to get on a bike, are on it, or are directly in transit from the bike to a shower.

    Beards, either grow a full beard and mustache, or just the mustache, or be clean shaven. Once you've established you can actually grow (or not) the facial hair, the age of experimentation is over, however old that happens to be. Pick one. Please and thank you.

    Shirt and tie, for the few that still wear them, get them properly fitted. Think jowls and don't do it.

    That gut. Cover it. End of story.

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    1. yes! the flavor saver, jaw line beards, just the low chin/underchin area goatee or the line of hair down the chin(kind of like a happy trail but not)....DON'T. beards and goatees do actually require maintenance. also if there are crumbs or looks like wildlife is nesting in it...NO.

      and this is 2012, it is expected that men do something about unibrows these days!

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  24. as a 37 something with a belly ring I got at age 20, um, if I take it out then I have a weird hole..... so I will continue to wear one forever, but I try to stay in shape and I don't flaunt it, so it's for "intimate" eyes only. lol.

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  25. Wow I only have less than 2 years left to wear a miniskirt? I don't think so. And what are women in there 60's supposed to wear to swim in? I get the "age appropriate" thing for example standing in line at the airport I was behind a woman who was definitely in her 50s wearing a lime green cow-hide belt with bedazzles, rhinestone and blue sparkly things on it, a skin tight lime green top (she had a huge rack) rhinestoned flip flops and skinny jeans and huge Kim Kardashian style sunglasses. Totally age inappropriate, but hey, the lady had a body that was way more rockin than mine!!

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    Replies
    1. OMG - You were the woman behind me in the airport?
      And I am only 42, not 60's. I had a rough paper route. (LOL)

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  26. As far as the men's fashion- the "soul patch." Especially if they play with it with their lips. Ugh, just the thought is giving me the shivers...

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    1. oh i just commented on this above, i didn't notice yours yet. that really is creepy.

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  27. Phew. Three years left to wear my favorite boob tube.

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  28. One more year for my ponytail? That's stupid. I hate this list! Just wait until you turn 50. Oh, and I should stop running too, right?

    And go to Florida in March. Every rule on this list is broken. Men and women. And it isn't pretty!

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  29. There were a few Olympians that I didn't mind seeing in a Speedo this summer...

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    Replies
    1. Ok, yeah, I'll agree. They can be exempt.

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  30. Based on some of the college girls who come in to my library, I think someone needs to make a prohibitive list for the young rather than us over-35s. Patchouli would definitely be on it.

    I love your list for men.

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    1. Agreed! Here's a couple I'd add to the list of things young folks shouldn't wear.... 1) girls who wear flimsy t-shirt material dresses with thong underwear so the dress gets wedged in the crack and a vivid outline of their bum is on display! Eww! and 2) what's with the stupid beanie hats (winter knit caps) the boys are wearing all the time as a fashion statement? It looks ridiculous!

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  31. Well I'm 52 and wear bikinis, leggings, knee high boots, trainers (tennis shoes)and a pony tail, tho' not all at the same time at least!

    I did see a guy who looked in his 70's wearing a thong at the beach last week, that was definitely a bit nasty.

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  32. I am in love with you and your blog! Hilarious!
    http://www.shilohstaste.com

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  33. I didn't answer the question! I will never give up my pony tail because I will always have hair long enough for one! Ha!

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  34. I am a new runner (5 months) and my goal in LIFE at the moment is to lose the baby weight and get gorgeous runners legs so that I can, just once, wear a skirt that is inappropriately short for my age!! :)

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  35. I love this!!
    I still wear my daisy dukes. Only poolside now but...I love them.
    Ponytail - 51?! That cracked me up!

    I'd like to add huge armhole tank top - gym - esque ...see speedo.

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  36. I was going to comment earlier on this, but based on your list for the dudes, I had to go and buy a whole new wardrobe.

    Really? No Hasslehoff button downs? There goes my casual friday.

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    1. Well maybe you could get away with it. You could wear one during the NF 50.

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    2. But only if you wear black socks with sandals!

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  37. It appears Stilletos, long hair, and a ponytail are all my almost 50 year old body is allowed. Guess if you need to get ahold of me, you can find me on Colfax somewhere.

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  38. I've seen a lot of older women that look a lot better than 20 somethings in a bikini. I say rock the bikini if you have the body. Otherwise, get a whole piece or a sarong.

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  39. Oh crap! I'm reaching the end of being able to wear a boob tube and leather pants! I better get moving!!! I would say if you can rock it...go for it!!

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  40. Well, I do think the Ugg boots cutoff should be age 10! ha ha

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  41. That list is somewhat ridiculous. Sure there are some things are there that make sense. No woman should wear a swimsuit past the age of 61??? SERIOUSLY. What are old ladies supposed to do when they go on beach vacations? Sit around in a mumu?? Screw that. I'm with you, I'm going to be rockin' a 2 piece for a long time.
    I am totally with you on your list for men!

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  42. If you can't wear a swimsuit past 61 how do you go swimming? I'm going to be 48 and while I'm not a bikini person, it's not because of my age or physique. I have to say I disagree with a lot of those ages, but really only if you can carry the things off at an older age. Unfortunately, some people think they can, but really can't. Totally agree with your list for men though!

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  43. Totally agree with the Speedo! I always said that if you're not an olympic swimmer you should NEVER wear one!!

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  44. Your men's list sounds like a partial vendetta against the 90's haha(jean shorts, turtlenecks, long hair, tribal necklaces, David Hasselhoff). Speedos are off limits in the U.S. - that is a European thing.

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  45. Speedos are gross. I think women should wear a 2 piece or bathing suit as long as nothing offensive is hanging out. Jean shorts on men should be against the law. As for women, as lonfg as you're shopping at age appropriate stores, you should be good. That means no shopping at Foreve 21, when you are 50.

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  46. Hmm... the Speedo thing for guys, I don't know I agree with. While some guys don't look like a freaking Olympian in them, the fact is it is much better for swimming laps than those long-assed board shorts they call trunks these days.

    However, if you wear a speedo, you must wear a swimcap and goggles. That way people know you're serious.

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  47. OMG you're friggin hilarious! Seriously...I also laugh my ass off on your blog...thank you! When I think of trainers I think of training bras or trainers like in shoes. I don't know though. I also think the belly button ring should be out before 35. My dad told me I should take it out after I graduated college (I did) because I am now a mature woman, lol! I find it odd when I see women who appear to be in their 40s and 50s wearing Victoria's Secret PINK stuff and are clearly spending too much time in the tanning bed...although, I do live in NJ now...maybe that's the norm here, haha! JK...kind of. ;)

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  48. How about pants or shorts with "Juicy" (or anything else for that matter!) written across the butt? Never OK if you ask me.

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  49. No man capris either - it's just not right. Long shorts on men w/ tall socks not good either.

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  50. I am seriously going to have to get a new wardrobe, a new hairstylist (or a hairstylist) and basically, the goodwill is going to love what I donate.
    I am wearing what I wear because I like it, not because someone told me I CAN! Since when did I need permission from some overindulged 20something to wear anything?
    I do laugh at men in speedos - we call them grape smugglers.
    One more thing men shouldn't wear is white shoes, unless you've just been released from federal prison, you're going to the early bird special or you have a white belt to wear with seersucker pants and a banlon shirt - and living at Del Boca Vista retirement community.

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    1. my dad used to have some all white sneakers that he inherited from his father. i guess it was okay that his father had them since he was old and lived in coral gables. my dad wore those things until someone at his job told him they looked like child molester shoes...then he got rid of them.

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  51. I spent quite a few days at Sunset pool in Longmont and saw some serious gut shows, from the bikini clad teen LIFEGUARDS! Those stating older women shouldn't wear two pieces better be rockin' their own.

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  52. As far as I'm concerned, if you can rock it, wear it as long as you want. The actual age is irrelevant, there are 20-somethings who should never, ever wear a bikini or mini-skirt. I'll wear whatever I want as long as I look and feel good in it, thank you very much!

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  53. For men: No white ribbed tanks (some call them wife-beaters, but I don't want to offend).

    And I don't think the list should be "age appropriate". I think it should be "body appropriate". As in, if you shouldn't wear it, don't, regardless of your age.

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  54. I saw an episode of Oprah that said women over 35 shouldn't wear shorts. What?! Shorts?! Please!

    After that, I really pay no attention to what someone else says I should or should not be wearing.

    I do, however, believe that women of a certain age should not wear their hair long (and when I say "long", I mean to their waists), unless they are blessed with that pretty "Young Girl" hair. Frequently, I see stuff that makes some women look a little haggardly. And it has nothing to do with color. I think a pretty salt n pepper shade looks great as long as it's healthy.

    And this may be a cultural thing, but I also believe that women of a certain age can be too thin. I think Cortney Cox needs to eat a burger. I think her lack of superflous flesh makes her look like a chicken wing and that's not hot. Demi Moore could stand to put on a few too.

    It makes them look like they're trying too hard to be something they're not. And after a while, they start to look unwell.

    My motto is: Look healthy. Healthy is attractive.

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    Replies
    1. 52 years old. Hair to my ass. Bite me. :)

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  55. According to this list, at age 46 I should have polyester waist pants and be close to getting my hair shampoo set! I'm guessing the 20 somethings were the main respondents to this. Next they will say the 40's are too old for running skirts. I see more fat 20 something girls dressed in comepletely inappropriate, belly blubber baring clothes.

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  56. I love that we are both featuring the word "boob" in our blog posts today!

    I want to know WHY women would participate in this survey and judge other women.
    No one should do that--well at least outside of the people of Walmart website.
    Wearing clothes that FIT and make you FEEL good is the most important thing!

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  57. So ridiculous and so judgmental. I guess I'm too old to wear anything ...might as well just walk around naked.

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  58. You look hotter than most 45, I'd take your bod in a heartbeat. No age limits to bikinis! However, there should be universal speedo age restriction...

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  59. Two things that I think are inappropriate, regardless of age:
    1. Low rise pants/jeans with the thong sticking out of the top. SO TACKY!
    2. See through shirts/t-shirts where you can see every detail of the women's bra right through the shirt.
    I have a 10 year old son. He does not need to see these things. I don't understand why some women think it is cute to show their underwear in public. They just look trashy.

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  60. I plead the 5th on talking about women's stuff, but in regards to us guys

    1. Speedos-Only acceptable if they are required for the 10M diving platform in the Olympics but why can't they wear the shorts instead honestly.
    2. Cut off jean shorts-Jean shorts are no longer acceptable, so cut off jean shorts are even more so off-limits
    3.Long hair-Clay Mathews of the Packers looks like a bad ass super hero with long hair. Certain athletes and rockers are allowed the long hair look. Otherwise the long hair look is not cool for any male of any age.
    4. Swimsuit-Depends (yes if you were a depends, I don't want you wearing one) but forever sounds good.
    5. Turtleneck-Unless you are going to a early 2000s fashion party or are posing for pictures, a turtleneck lost its appeal after about 12 months of being okay in the early 2000s. Kids are okay to wear anything that make them look cute.
    6. Belly button or ball piercing-Neither is acceptable. But people with fetishes will do a lot of weird shit.
    7. Button down shirt unbuttoned 5 buttons a la David Hasselhoff-If there is a shirt under it, I don't have a problem with it through your 40s actually. If it's shirtless, you better be Channing Tatum or someone that is both attractive and muscular.
    8. Tribal necklaces (conch shells, sharks teeth)-These are another thing that goes under the turtlenecks. They had a limited coolness in the early 2000s.


    I'd add things that are never cool yet some men still get them or wear them: Ear piercings. Baggy pants (unless you shit in them and then you better make sure you change quickly). Pleated pants. Baseball/ringer shirts. Denim shirts. Silk, rayon, etc.

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  61. Ahem, at 46 I am clearly too old for most things, according to this list. Damnit on the boob tube! Trainers=sneakers. I am not giving up my Uggs, my ponytails, or my swimsuits. Really, they put an age limit on swimsuits, period?

    So in agreement with you on the male items of clothing, hair, etc. At my tri last weekend there was a man rocking his American flag speedo, and he was 69--it was not a good luck. But we did get good entertainment from it, so maybe we shouldn't outlaw things like that?

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  62. I've read a LOT of ridiculous magazine articles and silly polls in my time, but this has to be the dumbest of all! Who in the world thought this up? Thanks for the laugh!

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  63. Um, no one over 19 should do a belly button ring!!! didnt that go outtah style when britney did it in 1999??? ugh, so cheesy, and trashy in my opinion.

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  64. Hahahahaha!! Your blog keeps me laughing!

    I might add overalls to the list, but ahem...my husband wears them sometimes on the weekend while working outside. :)

    Don't throwup or faint right away-he wears a shirt under them! LOL!

    Shannon
    http://www.irunreadteach.wordpress.com

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  65. i was in walmart and totally should have taken a picture of this man for the people of walmart site. i was at returns/customer service and the man in front of me was balding but had long hair and had on extremely short jean cutoffs. like daisy duke style. and i guess he was returning toilet paper? he had a pack of toilet paper and that was what he was dealing with for his transaction. i turned away at that point.

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  66. As a 20-something I would just like to add that I to agree this list is ridiculous. I personally would lower the belly-button ring age to maybe 25....which is still pushing it in my opinion.

    Also, this list is probably more based on how old you LOOK rather than how old you are....

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  67. I thought see-through chiffon blouses were OVER. (Wasn't that the 90s?) I haven't seen one in years.

    Then I read this... And saw THREE women in see-through chiffon blouses just yesterday!

    Did I miss a fashion memo?

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  68. A lifestyle blog full of beauty, health, fitness, entertainment and positive boob tube

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  69. I can think of A FEW men that I have enjoyed seeing in Speedos in my lifetime - Olympians and other serious swimmers alike - but I will say, the list is VERY short. I would suggest that Speedos not be ruled out completely, but a limitation be put on it, like how much you must swim per week in order to even consider wearing one.

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