Sunday, September 30, 2012

Yep, I’m Straddling You

On my trip back to Maryland this weekend I came to a conclusion. 90% of people on airplanes are in bad moods. Even the flight attendants. Well, especially the flight attendants. I don’t like to fly, but I’m usually not in a bad mood when I fly. I give a little smile to my seat mates and try to make this whole thing as pleasant as possible.

I like the window seat and for God’s sake people do not have to act so stinking irritated when I ask to get up once during a 4 hour flight to pee. I mean what else do they have to do but get up and let me get out? It’s not like they’re rushing to catch a cab or perform heart surgery.

Confession: I once tried to climb over the people in the middle and aisle seat so as to not wake them up. I really had to GO. I did this crazy straddling thing and just when I was almost to the aisle, the lady woke up to find me straddling her. True story.

Perhaps it is just that people don’t like me. Nah, I just think they don’t like being cooped up for hours on end smelling other people’s B.O. and farts and not being able to escape.

I had to laugh today when I ordered a drink on the flight (Yes, I drink and fly. It is like therapy for me). The flight attendant asked if I was old enough. Maybe she was trying to pick me up or something because no one would ever mistake me for under 21, or under 31 or under 41. Maybe not even under 51. Have you seen my neck lately? I think I’m going to start naming my tendons.

IMAG0780

The weekend went well. My grandfather’s memorial was beautiful, and my favorite part was when people told stories about his life.  It really was a celebration of who he was.  As they played “What a Wonderful World” and showed photos of him from infancy on up to adulthood, including my wedding and when my kids were babies, I realized how he was (as my mom said) “Just always there.”

I also had a chance to drive by my childhood home and elementary school.  I rocked the heck out of fifth grade and everyone knew it.

I got a nice run in Saturday morning around Silver Spring, Maryland. I was majorly feeling the benefits of sea level running and did 5 miles in 20 minutes. Just kidding, but I did feel good. One of my favorite things about travelling is running where I am. Plus, since travelling is always somewhat stressful, it’s a great way to work out the kinks and get some perspective.

Thanks for all of your feedback on how to maintain running fitness while not specifically training for something. I am going to map out a weekly plan that will include 4 days of running, 1 day of yoga and another day of cross training/strength. This is the perfect time for me to continue with heart rate training as a means of boosting my endurance and performance.

What’s the strangest thing that’s ever happened to you on an airplane? Mine was last December on my way to Vegas. The dude beside me peed himself.

Do you get carded anymore? Me, hardly ever. Unless it’s by a flight attendant who has the hots for me.

SUAR

25 comments:

  1. Do I get carded? Heck no! I get nice tips, though, on upcoming senior citizen discounts. I am 45.... isn't that the new 35? Or do I have that backwards? Maybe it's the new 55!

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  2. I was carded this past summer at the beer tent at a local music festival. My sister and her boyfriend saw it all go down but my husband missed it. He couldn't believe it. I haven't seen him laugh that hard in a long time. I just about hugged the guy, especially since the legal drinking age in Canada is 19.

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  3. I fly a lot for business purposes and I usually ask for a window seat, as well, but rarely will use the "facilities" unless I'm desperate. Strangest thing on a flight? A girl in the middle seat next to me stood up when we landed and her pants promptly fell down and her bare ass was in my face. No exaggeration. The girl was embarrassed, but as we were walking the jetway, she kept losing her pants. Felt bad for her, but she really needed a belt. Scariest moment was when one of my flights caught fire and we had an emergency landing, but that's a whole other story. As far as getting carded, I love it! 48 years old and its a compliment. Usually only happens at liquor stores. Or Target.

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  4. I just love everything about this post.

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  5. Yes, I still get carded, but I credit the Asian genes.

    Where in Silver Spring were you? I went to high school near there -- Paint Branch in Burtonsville.

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  6. On a flight once, a male stewardess was filling a plastic cup with ice for my bosomy seat neighbor when he lost control of his ice tongs and launched a cube right into her cleavage. It was a million to one shot.

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  7. Farts on a plane are the worst! I kept asking DH last time if that was him. He would fess up if it was. Someone was rank!

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  8. What I've learned from 50 years of flying: Aisle seat, always.

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  9. Glad to hear your weekend went well. I always like going on runs when I'm away too. Nice way to see a new area!

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  10. Farting, for sure, is the worst. When other people do it, that is.

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  11. Sounds like a really nice weekend. I also love running in unfamiliar places while travelling. It's the best way to get to know your new surroundings! Unless you get lost and end up in another country (yes that actually happened to me once).

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  12. I once got on a plane and EVERY SINGLE PERSON was either in a black suit, or, if female, a dress suit with bright red hair. Some of them were carrying little action figures.

    Turned out there was a X-Files convention, and everyone was dressed up.

    It felt more like the Twilight Zone, though.

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  13. Not carded, but someone asked me if I were my sister-in-laws daughter this past week - I was thrilled, she was ...not. Love the older women on the planes reading "Shades of Grey" in a paperback with a book cover - at least these gals don't seem too angry!

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  14. I wait with baited breath. Well, ok perhaps I am being dramatic. I do look forward to your post on how to maintain fitness when not training, as I am trying to figure out the same thing. I had all intentions of emailing you and asking for your ideas/input, but intention is not action and I have not followed through. SO, you are a time saver in a sense. I respect your approach to training, thorough research, wackiness and profession (I am a social worker as well).

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    1. P.S. I am 37 and I was carded twice over the summer and it ROCKED!

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  15. Glad you had a nice time in MD...especially glad you were not mugged in SS. That place can be dodgy. I used to be a window seat person but after a long flight to London where I was pinned against the window by a rather large lady who had the bad luck of getting the middle seat, I now always pick the aisle. That way I can always get to the bathroom and I don't mind getting up for others...nice way to stretch my legs and annoy the flight attendants who don't like people blocking the aisle...

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  16. Weirdest thing that happened to me on an airplane is probobly being on a flight that was delayed cause a drunk was passed out in the isle and the guy next to me wanted to fight the guy cause he was drunk of the 5th of whiskey he snuck on the plane and was drinking the entire flight. The police met the plane on the tarmac and escorted the 1st drunk fellow off the plane...kinda eventful! But thats what u get when u fly in alaska I guess...

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  17. I'm not sure if this counts as a "real" flight, but I took a fearful fliers class that was offered at Milwaukee's airport, and ended with a "graduation" flight from Milwaukee to Chicago. The entire experience was very surreal since we were mixed in with normal commuters, and the pilot would come on the intercom every so often to make jokes about crashing (not cool). One guy in my class flew the entire flight with a full-size football helmet on (not sure how much that would help in a plane crash, but hey, whatever gets you through) and another sat with headphones on and did yoga poses as best as the cramped seating would allow. I've since decided it's just much easier to drink and pop a xanax or two...

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    1. OMG I am seriously lmao at the football helmet. Really??? And what pilot makes jokes about crashing???

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    2. It was pretty amazing. For some reason the yoga lady made me giggle even more than the football helmet guy ... the whole experience (including the pilot who clearly wanted to be a stand-up comic instead) was something out of candid camera.

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  18. A friend of mine once took the redeye flight from LA back to NYC. When he boarded, he did the casual smile & nod to his neighbors, sat down, leaned back and promptly fell asleep. He woke up as the plane was preparing to land the next morning, and as he came into consciousness he slowly became aware of a presence. He looked down and saw that the woman who was in the seat next to him now had her head in his lap and was still asleep! Mike yawned and stretched a little. The movement woke her up, whereupon she realized where she was, sat straight up, and managed not to make eye contact with him for the duration of the flight.

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  19. Silver Spring is not dodgy. I live there, and run often at Sligo Creek, which is gorgeous any time of the year.

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    1. I don't recall saying it was dodgy! I wish I could have found Sligo Creek tho.

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    2. Oh, I see where you got "dodgy" - from another commenter.

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  20. It sounds awful to be stuck with a lot of bad moody people in a plane in that huge height.

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