Thursday, March 10, 2011

ABCs of SUAR

Age: 44

Bed Size: Queen because I am a queen. Wish I were a king, though. Glad I’m not a twin.

Chore You Hate: Cleaning out the skids

Dogs?: Three legged, one eyed Cocker Spaniel named Lucky who has lengthy penis licking sessions each and every day.

Essential Start Your Day Item: Pee, brush teeth, coffee

Favorite Color: Don’t have one. Changes too often.

Gold or Silver? Platinum because remember I’m a queen

Height: 5’5”

Instruments You Play: Butt horn

Job Title: Freelance Writer, Home Study Contractor (social worker)

Kids: Emma age 9, Sam age 13

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Live: Yes, I do

Mom's Name: Susan (w/brother, Dave)

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Nicknames: Betty, Booty, Hon, Mom, Mother Earth

Overnight Hospital Stays? Pregnancies only unless you count Emma having surgery and me staying there with her overnight (2006)

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Pet Peeve: ABC blog games

Quote from a Movie: Airplane

otto

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Right or Left Handed? Right

Siblings: Older brother by three years: David (see above)

Time You Wake Up? 6:30 a.m.

Underwear: An assortment depending on what is planned for the day – running, biking – commando. Regular day – low rise lacey things. Time of the month: junk underwear. Never thongs. Don’t like them.

shitpants

Vegetable You Dislike: None

What Makes You Run Late: Diarrhea

X-Rays You've Had Done: Wrist, foot, knee, mammograms, etc.

Yummy Food You Make: Chocolate cake, taco salad, Butterfinger cookies

Zoo, Favorite Animal: Polar bear

Bet you didn’t know about the thong thing or the butt horn,

SUAR

cuteangina

58 comments:

  1. I have never heard of a queen adorned in platinum, but whatever. Maybe you meant a platinum toilet...

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  2. Butt horn. ha!

    I prefer coffee, then brush my teeth. Do you have to brush your teeth a second time?

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  3. Julie - yeah, gotta brush first to get rid of morning breath then later to get rid of coffee breath.

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  4. Everyone is mentioning going commando for running. I was apparently out of the loop, because I keep trying to find the perfect underwear for it.

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  5. Elaine Dickinson:
    You got a telegram from headquarters today.
    Ted Striker:
    Headquarters--what is it?
    Elaine Dickinson:
    Well, it's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important right now.

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  6. Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
    Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
    Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
    (One of my favorite movies.)

    I play the butt horn too! We have so much in common.

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  7. I like the last picture - too funny.

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  8. Yay for a pic of Lucky with two eyes!

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  9. My sister is always bragging about playing the butt tuba.

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  10. Butt horn! hahahahaha! And I can't stand thongs...feels like underwear that are too big and crawled in your crack! Thanks for the laughs over my coffee. Oh, I drink the coffee, and THEN brush my teeth.

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  11. Butt horn!! I'm a professional musician and trust me we have plenty of butt horns in the orchestra!

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  12. LOVE Airplane. Love watching it with my husband too, because he's a pilot and gets even more geeked out over the movie than me!

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  13. Oh man, Airplane. I can remember laughing my head off at (were we about 12, 13?) when it came out.

    Do you give butt horn lessons?

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  14. :) airplane is hilarious
    no thongs huh ?? you strike me as a thong girl but then again...there is that sweet bathing suit shot with the granny-panny so....

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  15. ooooh, love airplane! i'll take some chocolate cake :)

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  16. I am with you on the underwear thing...
    Last pic is the best
    I bought a box of cards with with similar ones and that one was in it
    I send them to my friends back home once in a while. I still like REAL mail!
    Love the picture of your kids, you should frame that one!

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  17. You sure have some great looking kids (and mom & brother too for that matter). Please feel free to share your butterfinger cookie recipe... that sounds super yummy!

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  18. The photo of the kids is GREAT!

    I brush my teeth twice in the morning too.

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  19. I play the butt horn too! Look at that. I gave a great performance yesterday at work. Damn chickpeas and onions... get me every time.

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  20. I'm with you on thongs - the only thing that needs to get that close to my butt crack is toilet paper!!

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  21. Can you bring some butterfinger cookies to Boston?!?

    Also - ordered the jacket through runningwarehouse.com and googled a 15% off coupon :)

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  22. You are freaking hilarious. Glad I found your blog, enjoy a good laugh every other day (because you aren't ALWAYS funny haha).

    I feel better knowing I am not the only commando out there... wonder who else goes commando? Do I hear blog topic?!

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  23. Whenever I watch something scary I always comment that it's not realistic, people the people involved should be shitting their pants.

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  24. Your kids are adorable. Love the one of little Emma.

    Your ABCs rock. You are too funny. And I often go commando when running and always when biking. And proud of it!

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  25. Why is it called 'commando'? Anyone know?

    I love that pic of the older people... acute angina... lol.

    "I speak jive."

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  26. XLMIC - great question - answer from the Urban Dic:

    "It is called 'going commando' because of an old practice in the army, where, so you didn't shit your underwear in battle, you didn't wear any - and therefore could boast that you didn't shit your pants."

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  27. Good choice of fave animal. Polar bears rule!

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  28. Hahaha, I love that last pic!

    And I quote Airplane to myself. All the time. I'm a weirdo.

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  29. I really have to stop reading your posts at work! Love the last pic, that is really funny!

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  30. You make butterfinger cookies?! And we've never seen them?!! Sad.

    Very cute pic of those kiddos ;)

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  31. I feel a poll about to start, so I'm going to raise my hand for "Those of you who run commando" question.

    It's the only way to fly. But I'm wearing a thong right now.

    Also, I stole your idea and posted ABCs on my blog, too. Thanks for the idea. Kisses!

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  32. Butterfinger cookies.... NEED. RECIPE. NOW. Please and Thank you : )

    AMEN to running in no undies; best decision ever.

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  33. OMG .. Matty O has found your blog (re: #27). Be careful! :)
    Loved the ABC's and the 3-legged dog comment about his penis licking session ... funny (even though I know it's true)
    Commando for running and biking (oh and swimming if you want to be technical) - Absolutely!

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  34. Very funny! Thanks! I really enjoyed this post.

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  35. haha enjoyed your answers! Butthorn...my fave! The kids LOVE the butthorn around here.

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  36. Great post - love the ABC's!

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  37. I love that pic of Sam and Emma....too precious.

    You play the best butt horn that I've ever heard.

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  38. HA! Thanks for the daily laugh

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  39. My first thought was why brush your teeth BEFORE coffee. Upon reading the comments, I'm glad to know I'm not the only freak who doesn't. :)

    What happened to Lucky's eye?

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  40. see, I would have said internet meme's in general for my pet peeve.

    Now, off to generate a few more things about me for my blog...

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