Sunday, March 13, 2011

Full Circle

Tragedy struck and we are having a water bottle funeral today. Freaking dishwasher went crazy hot and did some damage. Why is it always the favorites that get trashed?:

P1090354

Moving on…

145 days ago I went out for an 8 mile run and returned with a stress fracture. Today I ran for 8 miles, the furthest I have run since that dreaded day of injury. Two months ago I could run for 8 minutes. Today: 75 minutes.

It felt effortless (well, except for those hills where I chanted “Heart…Break…Hill. Heart…Break…Hill” under my breath). Nothing hurt. I am not smiling ear to ear. I am smiling coast to coast. Earth to sun.

I ran west on the peaceful and quiet dirt back roads of Boulder County. I was passed by practically the whole University of Colorado track team. They blew by me effortlessly. My competitive side hates being passed. But, my humble, vulnerable and soulful side doesn't give a shit. I am running. Yes, my pace is about a minute per mile slower than I would typically run. But, I am running. Not walking. Not in pain. Not struggling. I am running and it makes me feel free, competent, capable.

Plus, I don’t want to be a gorgeous, carefree, youthful co-ed who runs 6 minute miles anyway.

The ego is a powerful thing. It wants to pit us against other people and be better. It wants to tell us we are not good enough and berate us for not being the best. It is judgmental and controlling. Yet, it pushes us to go harder, longer and faster. The ego has a time and a place. Yet, one has to know when to put it aside, when it doesn’t serve us well.

Here are today’s epiphanies because I love personal growth and like to shove it down your throats:

  • If you are injured, discouraged your endurance is not where you want it to be, or just feel stuck, have faith. If I can go from 8 minutes to 75 minutes, you can too. Whatever you are battling, patience is your friend. When we’re in the thick of hard times (and I’m not just talking about running) we think it will always be this way. It won’t.

    The wonder of life is that there is ebb and flow. Highs and lows. Just as much as you can count on the low points, you can count on things turning around and heading up. Your “normal” might be different, but so be it. The only true thing we can count on in this life is that there will be change.
  • Don’t waste energy comparing yourself to the next guy/gal/transvestite. Use all of your energy to keep moving forward with your goals. It’s overstated, but true: there will always be someone faster, stronger, thinner, richer, fitter, less constipated whatever. There will also always be someone slower, weaker, fatter, poorer, more out of shape, more constipated. The only way you can truly win is when you exceed your expectations for yourself. However that looks.

What talent I have. I can talk poop, farts and in the next breath get all deep on you. It’s a gift I tell ya.

Rejoicing in the high,

SUAR

68 comments:

  1. Congrats on the 75 minute run! That's awesome! Your blog always motivates me to push myself harder and to be grateful for my abilities. And scares me away from consuming too many beans.

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  2. bad bad washer! That looks way crazy.

    Congratulations on your run. I started following shortly after you became injured, I cant wait to read more. You are inspiring.

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  3. I just love this post. It is awesome and the best part is I'm reading and the 'vein' is just staring at me telling me that when you do accomplish your tasks you can fist pump with the best of them and allow your vein's to bulget out.

    I really loved this post. Thank you so very much AGAIN for your insight at the right times.

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  4. Love this post - so so happy for you.

    Except the dishwasher part. That totally sucks.

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  5. Jason...the vein, the vein. You kill me.

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  6. Absolutely true - congrats on your run! :)

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  7. love this line:
    "The only way you can truly win is when you exceed your expectations for yourself. However that looks."

    So true! Great job today!

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  8. Congrats on your 75 minutes!!! that fricken rocks!

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  9. I knew you would land on your feet.

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  10. EVERYONE is less constipated than I am. Sadly. I couldn't run all last week because of it :( Really. I am even about to post about it.

    Everything you say is true. 8 minutes to 8 miles... you are just a real testament to patience and perseverance, SUAR. I am so impressed. You know I lived it. I went 8 years w/ no running. I think we must be kindred spirits... hips, shits, 8 minutes, 8 miles, 8 years... except you are faster. And have better abs. And BQ'ed. And ran with Dean. And are way more popular than I am. Maybe it's because I'm constipated?

    The "no pain" part is by far the most important part of the post :) I am beyond excited for you!

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  11. I agree with Colleen's comment...great line. This is important perspective for me. Great post!

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  12. Live it up! you deserve that high & will deserve it even more come April! your my hero!

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  13. I feel like you're talking to me when you say not to compare myself to transvestites. kidding.

    Those water bottles don't look like they are BPA free anyway, you might be better off now.

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  14. Thanks Beth! I needed this post today! I needed the reminder to not compare myself with anyone else. And, thank you!! You have been so honest and raw with your injury and recovery...if you can do it then so can I!!

    Rock out with your cock out! if you are into that sort of thing ;-)

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  15. 75 glorious minutes. Love it! You've earned them all.

    Very profound post. Good lessons for us all, but you had me at "gorgeous, carefree, youthful co-ed".

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  16. Awesome post! I am injured now, and DO feel like it will never change, thanks for reminding me it DOES!! Congrats on an awesome run!

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  17. So happy for you!!
    Do you like nuun? Need some and a few water bottles?? Let me know and I will send you some :)

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  18. The dishwasher killed my Boston Marathon water bottle. I still use it but it can no longer stand upright by itself...kinda like me after Boston, hahaha.

    I just started reading your blog and can't stop. My husband thinks I'm having an online affair, so I have to go now, but congrats on a pain-free run!

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  19. smiling coast to coast is always a good thing. awesomeness :)

    and i've been chanting the exact same thing when i hit a hill...or even a small incline. i hate hills hah!

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  20. All that pool work was nothing to shake a stick at. Pussy Posse Power!!

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  21. WOOO HOOO!!!! I am jumping for joy over this...so so so happy for you! :-) <3

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  22. That's so awesome!!! I'm so happy for you!

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  23. 75 minutes is great - and in a short time too! Way to go!
    Setting goals and expectations for yourself is where it is at: achievable goals. With effort, they become doable and done.

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  24. Beth—congratulations on the awesome run! You're gonna do it, I can feel it all the way over here in rainy Oregon. I love those breakthrough runs. Had one today myself!!!! Woohoo!

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  25. so awesome!! LOVE IT! congrats.

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  26. this is great! the light at the end of the long freaking tunnel...! It took a while but now it is here! very happy for you! are your cheeks hurting now from all that smiling? if that is your only problem...you are good to go!
    cheers!

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  27. One of my friends has just been diagnosed with a stress fracture. I'm going to get her tho read this post.

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  28. Congrats on your run!!! Its nice to see you excited about running and just feeling great again! Keep smiling.

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  29. Congrats on the 75 minute run!!

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  30. I am running a similar path right now - running to get back to pre-injury status.

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  31. Congratulations! And thanks for the pep talk. I am faster than my husband, but have to walk. He is slow and steady, so I feel like a failure when I run with him and have to walk. You are right----I should spend my energy improving my endurance, not fretting on this.

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  32. Beautiful run--and the revelations that came along with pushing through the sfx adversity. I'm not gonna say I told you so. Now stop with the bottles in the dishwasher will ya?

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  33. First off, we stopped putting our bottles in the dishwasher... it warps the size of the opening (not as bad as yours) and they don't seal well anymore. Have to handwash them all now :(

    Second... ego? What the hell is that?

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  34. Congrats on the 8 mile! My 56 year old dad beat my marathon time recently. That makes me competitive.

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  35. Great job Beth! 8 miles!!!!

    Such good points you make.

    I'm glad you didn't melt those bottles while you were still injured. Perhaps you were a little more self controlled than me but I would have totally taken a rolling pin to the dishwasher like a baseball bat and left my mark at that point......

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  36. 75 glorious minutes - congrats! Your hard work and determination is paying off. Reading this post was just what I needed as I was starting to get down on myself about my running -- gonna put my ego aside as it is not serving me well! Great reminder!

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  37. I completely agree ...

    i don't want to be the gorgeous, carefree, youthful co-ed who runs 6 minute miles. Thanks for putting things in perspective Beth. :)

    Congrats on your 8 miles!

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  38. Congrats! This is huge, and just thinking about how good this feels will power you through Boston.

    Sorry about the water bottles though. This happens to us all the time. Makes me sad but it is a good excuse to get more!

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  39. Thanks. Just, thanks.

    I cried after I ran on Saturday because I'm slow (no, really) and I don't want to be slow any more. But I AM running, something I never did before January, so that does exceed my own expectations. So I win?

    75 minutes? Go YOU!

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  40. Great run! You worked so hard in many ways to get back on the road for 75 minutes. You deserved that good run. :)

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  41. Congrats on your run and thank you for the words of encouragement...and the laughs. How did you know I needed them at this exact moment? ;-)

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  42. Super Job Beth! I passed you just as you were near the top of yesterday's 'Heartbreak Hill' (I was in a car going down (stashing food/drink for my long run) not running up!) and you looked STRONG!!! Made me super excited for you, then a bit bummed for me, as I'll never be that fast. Then I read this post, very timely.

    'The only way you can truly win is when you exceed your expectations for yourself. However that looks.' That was powerful for me today. THANKS!!

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  43. huge props of awesome to you. way to go, lady!

    and thanks for the notes on patience...i needed that this morning. sigh.

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  44. Thank you again for the great words you wrote to us, I printed them and they are now going to be kept in my running log. I "compared" myself and my miles to another runner a few weeks ago (keep in mind this person is a running #'s snob) and felt terrible about the miles I was up to and started to feel bad about my accomplishments. Then I vowed never to compare #'s and times again (for now) and to be proud of where I am and where I am going.

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  45. Thank you for reminding me how far I've come in the 2 years that I've been running again.
    I keep comparing my now self to my former self (way younger, single, no children, thinner, etc).
    And I compare myself to other runners too. I need to keep looking at how I've decreased my half marathon time by 13 whole minutes instead of always wanting to hit an unrealistic time.
    And the bodily function talk always makes me giggle!!

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  46. What a momentous occasion! CONGRATS on the 8 miles!!! So happy to see you bouncing back!

    Also, I have to tell you - when I saw the thumbnail in my reader of your ruined water bottles, I thought it was a bunch of toilets. I'm not sure what that means!

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  47. Best news ever! I'm so proud of you. :)

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  48. So stoked for you and what a lovely post! Have a great week and here's to more stellar, pain free runs!

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  49. i'm glad your positive attitude got you so far w/ this injury!!

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  50. You have an amazing talent. Thanks for a great post and air high five for your 8 miles.

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  51. Hootie hoo! So glad you had an excellent run! You can REALLY appreciate it after an injury, huh?

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  52. This is such such such great news. So happy for you, seriously, I am. Take THAT stickin' injury. I can't wait to see ya in Boston.

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  53. Those plastic bottles are bad for you anyway.

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  54. You do have a gift with writing!! 8 MILES!!! WAHOO, I am so so happy for you and can't wait to see you in BOSTON!!!!

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  55. "I love personal growth and like to shove it down your throats."

    BWAHH!!!!

    Love this post, and congrats on increasing running time pain free!!! I'm looking forward to running in your neck of the woods in May. My brothers and sister in law are doing the BB2011 10k in what I hope will be a yearly tradition. We're debating costumes. I suggested a variation of your lei theme from last year. I think coconut bras are in order though. Except I have a roll of fat around my waist that jiggles. Think it might scare the natives? It might also make doing the slip and slide a challenge.

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  56. YAY for 8 miles. Definitely smile material!

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  57. You've earned that smile, keep it up! :)

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  58. Awesome!! So happy for you. Congrats!

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  59. can I run with SUAR in Boston? I'll wave fans behind your ass & feed you grapes or GU as needed.

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  60. To all that you said.....I believe it wholeheartedly, I share those words with anyone around me willing to listen....and I cannot be more excited that you are back to pain-free running that gives you taht smile from coast to coast! Congrats

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  61. I am so unbelievably excited for you Beth! There are no words. Keep rejoicing!

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  62. Woohoo! Hooray for an awesome run!! I am so happy for you!

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  63. My condolences on your great loss.... I'd like to think that they are in a better place now..... possibly recycled into Tupperware.

    LOL :-)

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