I think I really f*cked something up on my run today. I wasn’t planning to run hard, but something usually happens to me at about mile 2 (if it’s not a long run). Balls out is what I like to call it, even though I don’t have balls. Fortunately, you don’t need them to go BO.
Urban dictionary defines BO as: to exude tremendous effort, to try extremely hard (the phrase originally referred to old steam engines that had two balls that rotated across one another that would control speed depending on how fast they spun. Balls out meant going full speed. Don’t say you never learned anything from SUAR).
I went out for 8 miles today, not intending to go BO. My ass was hurting quite a bit (you might remember I’ve had some piriform-ass issues in the past couple of months), but it was something I could run with. I wasn’t trying to run hard, but every time I snuck a look at Mr. Garmin I was doing between 7:50 and 8:00 min/miles. It felt effortless. As I reached five miles, I got it in my head I wanted to break 50 minutes at the 10K mark, so I really picked it up. About mile 6.5 something in my hip started hurting. I’ve never had this before. New pain alert. That makes me pay attention.
Mile 7 I got the worst stomach cramp. You know the kind that signals a big blow out in the very near future. I had to stop and squat down, almost mimicking taking a crap. Sometimes this helps, but sometimes it’s dangerous and something sneaks out. I was on a neighborhood street and there was no where, and I mean no where, to hide. I thought about knocking on someone’s door and begging to use their bathroom, but I chickened out. Maybe if I could have come up with something to sell like candy bars it would have worked, but all I had was my phone and I’m not selling that to poop. The cramp passed, and I made it the last mile home.
My hip is killing me. Totally hurts to walk. I iced, I stretched. I bathed. I tried to crap, but to no avail (which, btw, pisses me off. My colon was ready to BLOW in a residential neighborhood, then I get home and nothing. What a tease. Damn blue ball colon).
So…all you runners out there can read my mind. I am 10 days out from the Denver Rock ‘n’ Roll marathon. I cannot be having any kind of major issues with my body. I have trained hard. I have stayed injury free. I feel really strong. This hip issue better not mess with my race. Seems that my taper might have just been transformed into an all out rest period.
This has not been the best week. My credit card number was stolen. My hip hurts. I’m trying to cut back on wine. My “real” job has given me some major headaches. I don’t like my new haircut. While typing this I forgot I had water on to boil and ruined my pan. But did not burn the house down. My hip hurts. Did I say that already? Yes, I’ve got lots of blessings to count. I know that. Can’t a girl just have a moment?
How’s your week?