Thursday, October 7, 2010

Balls Out

I think I really f*cked something up on my run today. I wasn’t planning to run hard, but P1070611something usually happens to me at about mile 2 (if it’s not a long run). Balls out is what I like to call it, even though I don’t have balls. Fortunately, you don’t need them to go BO. 

Urban dictionary defines BO as: to exude tremendous effort, to try extremely hard (the phrase originally referred to old steam engines that had two balls that rotated across one another that would control speed depending on how fast they spun. Balls out meant going full speed. Don’t say you never learned anything from SUAR).

I went out for 8 miles today, not intending to go BO. My ass was hurting quite a bit (you might remember I’ve had some piriform-ass issues in the past couple of months), but it was something I could run with. I wasn’t trying to run hard, but every time I snuck a look at Mr. Garmin I was doing between 7:50 and 8:00 min/miles. It felt effortless. As I reached five miles, I got it in my head I wanted to break 50 minutes at the 10K mark, so I really picked it up. About mile 6.5 something in my hip started hurting. I’ve never had this before. New pain alert. That makes me pay attention.

Mile 7 I got the worst stomach cramp. You know the kind that signals a big blow out in the very near future. I had to stop and squat down, almost mimicking taking a crap. Sometimes this helps, but sometimes it’s dangerous and something sneaks out. I was on a neighborhood street and there was no where, and I mean no where, to hide. I thought about knocking on someone’s door and begging to use their bathroom, but I chickened out. Maybe if I could have come up with something to sell like candy bars it would have worked, but all I had was my phone and I’m not selling that to poop.  The cramp passed, and I made it the last mile home.

My hip is killing me. Totally hurts to walk. I iced, I stretched. I bathed. I tried to crap, but to no avail (which, btw, pisses me off. My colon was ready to BLOW in a residential neighborhood, then I get home and nothing. What a tease. Damn blue ball colon).

So…all you runners out there can read my mind. I am 10 days out from the Denver Rock ‘n’ Roll marathon. I cannot be having any kind of major issues with my body. I have trained hard. I have stayed injury free. I feel really strong. This hip issue better not mess with my race. Seems that my taper might have just been transformed into an all out rest period.

This has not been the best week. My credit card number was stolen. My hip hurts. I’m trying to cut back on wine. My “real” job has given me some major headaches. I don’t like my new haircut. While typing this I forgot I had water on to boil and ruined my pan. But did not burn the house down. My hip hurts. Did I say that already? Yes, I’ve got lots of blessings to count. I know that. Can’t a girl just have a moment?

How’s your week?

56 comments:

  1. A bit sluggish coz of the weather. Hope you feel better soon! =)

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  2. I like all the new terms that we learn on your blog :) It is a continual learning experience...

    Bummer about your run and the stolen credit card! Just so you know, I didn't steal it. Isn't always like that? One thing goes wrong and then it all starts going downhill.

    But the Rock N Roll marathon sounds fun! You will rock that race, even if you have to rest until then :)

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  3. rest up. more important to get to the start line healthy!!!!!

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  4. UGH, go figure this would happen now. :(

    Hopefully your mind is playing tricks on you (taper brain) and making it feel worse than it is.

    Any chance you can get in for a treatment?

    Otherwise, rest up! Maybe a day or two off will do the trick.

    Good luck with everything else too. Just think of the copious amounts of wine you will get to drink after Denver. That helps me get through. ;)

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  5. My right knee decided to rebel 17 days out from my full marathon. My taper period also turned into a mostly rest period. Plenty of ice, stretching, and epsom salt baths and I seem to be good to go for Sunday. Still, I am right there with you with your moment. Go ahead and have it. We understand.

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  6. Okay, I am sorry, but when I got to the part about cramps and almost having a blow out- i seriously snorted while eating some craisins... not pretty... but anyways, this reminded me of a few runs I have had in the last week. I've had a few close calls where I was trying to talk myself into going into some trees and finding a spot... but it was too close to someone's house to actually do it. It was so PAINFUL! I was 2 miles away from my car and seriously didn't think I was going to make it. So, I feel for you. You are a rock star though- you are going to rock it!

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  7. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=5651802 I thought of you while reading this!

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  8. Obviously time to move into the beer and brownies taper mode. More beer = less wine, so you'll have at least that covered.

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  9. Lots of ice and relaxing!! Hope it feels better soon!!

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  10. !! credit card number stolen! That's crappy.

    For me: Jill let me run a 10k next week! Wife says it should be ok too! Man I'm on a roll - asking the boss for a raise ... going for the trifecta!

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  12. Ice, rest, relaxation and champagne (hey it's not technically wine right?) will make it better. Have a glass for me - I'm at work.

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  14. Hi! I'm Lisa and just started following your blog. I had been going back and forth with the idea of starting my own blog - your post yesterday had me laughing so hard. I enjoyed reading your blog so much, I decided it was time to start my own! Thanks for the inspiration (for blogging and running!)

    Here's my link: http://love2treadmillrun.blogspot.com/
    Only one post so far... but more to come!

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  15. Ice and a physical therapist. They can usually help you heal a little faster. (And figure out what it is!) I feel for you. I have been nursing a bad hip the last 2 weeks.

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  16. ugh sorry....foam roller ?? for the hip and itband ??

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  17. Dang, hopefully it is some weird fluke and the pain will go away quick.

    Quick funny story about Balls out. I was running one of those team relays and I was saying how on my last run I was going to go "Balls out". Well one of my teammates yells as I'm running "Let your balls hang out!" at the top of her lungs. Clearly she needs to read you blog to become informed on what "Balls out" means. Somehow I carried on while trying to control my laughter. At another point in the race she yells "You can do hard things!" ...umm ya, but now is not the time!

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  18. Is it a sharp pain? Or a sharp pain when it happened? Or is it dull and achy? Did it start dull and achy? Sharp means go and see someone ASAP! Dull and achy means slow down, rest, ice, stretch and take a day or two off. Hope that helps and crossing my fingers!

    Ugh, sorry about the cc being stolen. That's the pits! And people are just awful sometimes! Don't they know who you are? Sheesh! Feel better!

    I'm having a blah week. Just in a funk. My race is the 17th also and am just.not.feeling.it. I need to work on that!! Happy Thursday!

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  19. Sometimes it just feels like the universe is flinging s#@t on you. It does get better but in the meanwhile life might stink a little.

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  20. Uurghh, hip pain is the worst. Make sure to give yourself time to rest/recover. Take care and maybe drink some wine :>

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  21. Vegas fixes everything, so I hear. So I am told. So it is.

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  22. It's getting better! I hate hip pain, calf pain, hamstring pain any type of leg pain! Feel better soon! Taper just makes bad things worse though doesn't it?

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  23. You poor thing! You ARE having an awful week! Gosh. I hope this hip things is just a silly taper thing that goes away (I don't mean silly like you are imagining it, but silly in the fact that it is a POS pain and needs to hit the road).

    I bet your new haircut is cute. You always look cute. Even when you are squatting on the road, I bet :)

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  24. Girl, you are having a serious case of the tapers. It's okay, all of it. I promise. Well, except for the part about you cutting back on wine, you should really re-think that.

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  25. I had hip flexor problems when training for my first 1/2 marathon last year. I went to a chiropracter (first time ever) and got readjusted and it did the trick. I know you just saw your chiropracter for your hand issues...but maybe he can help you with this?
    Good luck...rest and ice and rest some more:-)!
    Hang in there!

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  26. Probably early stage tracheoteric bursitis (sp). Use the foam roller on the ITB to loosen it up. Definitely rest, since it hurts when you walk. And don't cross your legs when you sit down, that puts pressure on the ITB. Good luck

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  27. I'm hoping it's a bursa sac (kinda like a ball sac but not really) and will resolve soon.
    Sorry about the credit card.
    And at least you have a haircut, that's more than I can say.

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  28. Sorry about your hip pain and the credit card; that sux. Hang in there. Rest up and you'll be ready to go!!

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  29. Oh no! Don't panic! I'm sure you will be fine. Rest, relax, and take it easy for a couple of days and you'll be good to go come the 17th!

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  30. WHAT? I just blogged about this same type of pain. Where is it? Call or e-mail me.

    I am in PT and the therapist is having me work on strengthening my hip flexor/hip area. Hopefully it is nothing a little stretching or rolling wouldn't take care though!

    I'm off to enter your giveaway. I've been a blog slacker lately.

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  31. balls out indeed. sounds like it's been a really rough week for you! but tmrw is friday and then the weekend -- so you're almost there :) ((Hugs)) anyway though! you can get through it :)

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  32. You can have all the moments you want. It's Taper time, which means we have permission to go crazy!

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  33. That sucks, plain and simple. Baby it...you know the drill--you've done the work, so now just rest and get your body ready to go. See a massage therapist if you can. Good luck with it.

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  34. Don't panic. Rest. If you can walk then ease into a run, if it gets worse STOP!

    You have 10 days. I'm sure you know this...when you approach your marathon you get aches and pain, especially during your taper. We might over exaggerate the pain but we have to be careful it isn't something that needs a lot of rest. Pay attention to it and use common sense. Don't worry yet!

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  35. You better be at the race or I'll make your butt really hurt! Just kidding! I hope everything gets better before the race.

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  36. Rough week here too. My butt/back is hurting. I have a hacking cough. I have a half marathon on 10.10.10. My taper this week has became stagnant. My bf is out of an eye and we don't know if the eye will be ok. I get up every 2 hours to nurse his eye with eye drops so, I haven't been sleeping. Reports are due. Parent conferences are coming. I need sleep. I need to run.

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  37. I was just about to write a post that would require some cheese with it. I'm supposed to do my first 18 miler tomorrow... even have a babysitter lined up and a running buddy planned for the first half of it. Aunt Flow showed up today, then my temp went up to 101, and my throat is super sore and I can't seem to stay hydrated. It is nearly impossible for me to schedule long runs, so I will NOT miss this opportunity even if I'm puking and crapping for 3 hours straight. I may end up with a SUAR-worthy story when I return.

    Sorry about your craptacular run (but hey, check out that pace! rockin'.)... Hope the hip recovers and you don't have to spend the next week worrying about it. Enjoy your taper/rest.

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  38. Writing down your goals gets you to the top spots and writing down your trials and worries gets you through the rough spots...Think of what your body has taken you through the last few weeks, rest and renew - good luck!

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  39. my hip starting hurting on my run today too. A first and now it's still kind of creaky. Always worry over new pains. But no BO for awhile?

    Also? the neighborhood crapping? My hubs and I run together and we have this skit we like to laugh about. having to really crap, going up to someone's door and saying,"can I come in and take a groaner?" We really aren't 12 but it makes be laugh and forget about crapping.

    hope the hip is better tomorrow!

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  40. Oh no I am so sorry to hear that. Maybe it's just today and tomorrow you'll be all better. My fingers are crossed for you.
    (glad to hear you just had a cramp and didn't have to knock on a neighbor's door!)

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  41. Sounds like you could use a Happy Meal!

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  42. Sounds like you do needs some rest! When my hip hurts it's usually from my ankle being stiff, which makes my knees take the percussion, which ultimately travels up to my hip. A day of rest and more attention when running usually help. Hope yours goes away as quickly!

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  43. Taper is a dirty whore. My whole body us experiencing pains. I want to Bitch slap it!!!

    Sorry you got a case of the phantom poops.

    Much love

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  44. LOL! I say balls out and my Hubz says "You don't have balls. You can go boobs out though."

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  45. Oh man, as soon as I started reading this post I was like, "nooo, she's got a marathon to run here really soon! No new pain!" I hope it clears up.

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  46. oh yeah, have your moment! we all have em' right?

    sorry about the pain...not fun..and it's also probably your micro analyzing all pains/conditions 10 days til' your race.

    it's tapering i believe..;)

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  47. Wow. That sounds really tough. It's hard to not push myself sometimes during a great run, so I can understand your struggle with that.

    I hope that your pain gets better soon.. and that it doesn't bother you too much during your race. Good luck!

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  48. I think someone posted it above - but the ESPN Article about poo had me thinking about you at nearly every line...

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  49. THANK YOU for the BALLS OUT reference. When I met my husband 10 years ago and heard this reference I thought he and his friends made it up! :) And I use it all the time! ha And whenever i use it w/ women they give me the 'uh, you don't have balls lecture'... now I can tell them it's not about THOSE kind of balls!

    Have totally had to drop trough in the woods on occasions like that. I guess that's one advantage to where I live right now!

    I hear ya on going balls out randomly... after a 3 mile 'warm up' for me. I get a glimpse of a 'faster speed' and it's like I can't stop myself from trying to hold it. I did that on a 10 miler recently. Thankfully my colon did not try to blow on me!

    Go easy for a couple of days.. maybe take a spin class or something just to loosen it up!? Good luck. I think you'll be fine!

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  50. I had a similar experience (re: hip pain) a few weeks ago during a run. Mine was with my groin. (WTF) No pain before the run-but just a sudden explosive pain. I had never even experience before. I continued to run and it turned into a full blow injury. I know you know this- but just take time off until you are pain-free. Don't try and fight it! and On that note, you are fully allowed to have a pity party!

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  51. It is common to have new pains during the taper of a marathon and normal to obsess over them. This is the point (10 days to marathon) where I tell athletes that there's nothing they can do that will help them run faster, just things that can hurt them. Rest. You'll be fine.

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  52. Hope the hip starts behaving! And I hope the stress level in your life drops just a bit. Good luck with the marathon... you'll do GREAT!!

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  53. I'm having a pretty crappy week, too. UGH. Sorry about the hip (hip flexor...google remedies), I swear we're all just one tick from a bomb going off. Be positive, be positive, be positive!!
    HUGS!

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  54. I feel your pain. Literally. What part of your hip hurts? I am (unfortunately) well-versed in this injury area. Shoot me an email if you want some PT stuff to do!

    molliezapata @ yahoo.com

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  55. My week has been too busy to read your blog...booo! Look at what I missed! So sorry about your crappy week...not the "normal" crap going on over there.

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  56. I'm so glad I found your blog. I just sustained my second femoral neck stress reaction in 6 months, despite "doing everything right," and worse still, I have a labral tear in my right hip. Don't know when - or if - I'll be running again. I was a few weeks away from my first half-marathon, so I've totally gone through all the stages of grief, as you describe. Thank you for your honest and witty writing. It's been tremendously helpful.

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