I am the queen of odd jobs: blackjack dealer, 7-11 cashier, French language translator, dishwasher in the college dining hall, caterer (that was so short lived I barely remember it except for a few failed cakes). If you want to sound nice, you can call me well rounded or a Jacquelyn of all Trades. If you don’t want to be nice, call me non-committal and indecisive.
I’ll be honest in stating I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (since elite running is out). After getting my MSW 15 years ago I started doing adoption/foster care work for social services, and that’s where I sit today. People always say, if you could do anything what would be your dream? ‘Cause if you know that, then you will magically know where to direct your desires and energy and it will all come together.
I want to be on Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). I want someone to teach me how to dance for real, not just that white woman hip shifting I do at weddings. I want to have a fake tan that’s even and wear those skimpy dresses. I want to dance the tango with someone hunky, even if they get an erection. That’s what I want.
Speaking of erections, when middle school girls say they have it so much harder than boys, what with periods and breasts and mood swings, I always want to shake them and say, “But what about those unwanted hard-ons that boys have when they’re slow dancing with girls?!!” That’s got to suck. Does it, boys? (Don’t even get me started on wet dreams).
Probably DWTS is not in my near future. Maybe they will have a blogger edition and I will get picked. Along with Running Man Wannabe and one of those really fit girls with a food blog. What a great mix we would make. I will, of course, have to sign a legal contract promising I will not crap on the dance floor or in a judge’s lap. I for sure will do a better job than the ‘Hoff.
What do YOU want to be when you grow up?
This weekend I am entering the realm of another “job not related to my field.” I was asked by SkirtSports, inventors of the running skirt and makers of all types of sassy and practical running, cycling and triathlon wear, to represent them at an open house. I’ll be going to Genessee Mountain Fitness (in the foothills west of Denver) to sell/show clothing and talk about the mission of the company. I will get paid in clothing. Specifically, this clothing (don’t worry, no weight on the left leg/bad hip. Crutches are nearby):
I really dig these skirts with the capri tights underneath (all one piece).
Being paid in clothes is good. That just takes out the middle man step of getting paid in money then going and spending it on clothes. This stuff is not cheap.
I also got this – the marathon girl ultra skirt:
Wait, not ready yet:
I think this outfit will go very well with crutches. I will assure everyone that the clothing did not cause me to get the crutches. I did that all on my own.
I will wear this clothing all day, everyday, even though I can’t run. I will wear it so that I can look like a runner even if I can’t be one right now. I will wear it until it has pit stains and dandruff and mustard marks. I will do this in honor of running.
It’s time for happy hour,