Friday, October 22, 2010

Slow Dancing with Girls

I am the queen of odd jobs: blackjack dealer, 7-11 cashier, French language translator, dishwasher in the college dining hall, caterer (that was so short lived I barely remember it except for a few failed cakes). If you want to sound nice, you can call me well rounded or a Jacquelyn of all Trades. If you don’t want to be nice, call me non-committal and indecisive. 

I’ll be honest in stating I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (since elite running is out). After getting my MSW 15 years ago I started doing adoption/foster care work for social services, and that’s where I sit today. People always say, if you could do anything what would be your dream?  ‘Cause if you know that, then you will magically know where to direct your desires and energy and it will all come together.

I want to be on Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). I want someone to teach me how to dance for real, not just that white woman hip shifting I do at weddings. I want to have a fake tan that’s even and wear those skimpy dresses. I want to dance the tango with someone hunky, even if they get an erection. That’s what I want.

Speaking of erections, when middle school girls say they have it so much harder than boys, what with periods and breasts and mood swings, I always want to shake them and say, “But what about those unwanted hard-ons that boys have when they’re slow dancing with girls?!!” That’s got to suck. Does it, boys? (Don’t even get me started on wet dreams).

Probably DWTS is not in my near future. Maybe they will have a blogger edition and I will get picked. Along with Running Man Wannabe and one of those really fit girls with a food blog. What a great mix we would make. I will, of course, have to sign a legal contract promising I will not crap on the dance floor or in a judge’s lap. I for sure will do a better job than the ‘Hoff.

What do YOU want to be when you grow up?

This weekend I am entering the realm of another “job not related to my field.” I was asked by SkirtSports, inventors of the running skirt and makers of all types of sassy and practical running, cycling and triathlon wear, to represent them at an open house. I’ll be going to Genessee Mountain Fitness (in the foothills west of Denver) to sell/show clothing and talk about the mission of the company. I will get paid in clothing. Specifically, this clothing (don’t worry, no weight on the left leg/bad hip. Crutches are nearby):       

P1080064

I really dig these skirts with the capri tights underneath (all one piece).

Being paid in clothes is good. That just takes out the middle man step of getting paid in money then going and spending it on clothes. This stuff is not cheap.

I also got this – the marathon girl ultra skirt:

Wait, not ready yet:

 P1080075 

That’s better:

P1080077

I think this outfit will go very well with crutches. I will assure everyone that the clothing did not cause me to get the crutches. I did that all on my own.

I will wear this clothing all day, everyday, even though I can’t run. I will wear it so that I can look like a runner even if I can’t be one right now. I will wear it until it has pit stains and dandruff and mustard marks. I will do this in honor of running.

It’s time for happy hour,

SUAR

36 comments:

  1. Cool gig! I LOVE SkirtSports clothing. I would say my collection has me at borderline obsession. But hey, at least its a healthy obsession! You make me want to buy that shirt. It looks so comfy and cute on you!
    ~RR

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  2. You look great - I love their clothes! I've been debating about getting the skirt/capri combo for my upcoming first half marathon - could you tell me what size you got? I'm unsure as what size I should get - don't want it to be too tight but don't want it to be falling down, either. Congratulations on your new gig!

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  3. That sounds like such a fun job! I have a skirtsports skirt and really like it! Yay for getting new clothes!

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  4. Cute stuff! Clothing is a good way to get paid, I agree.

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  5. cute cute cute!!!!! love it lady!!!

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  6. hahahah this post made me smile. FUN JOB :)

    when i was in high school that is exactly what i wanted to do too :)

    and it's always time for happy hour ;)

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  7. That sounds like an awesome deal. So glad to have something like this take your mind off.
    And...hm...I had my share of jobs: nanny, tutor, babysitter, teaching assistant, research coordinator, Tshirt sailsperson, shorts sailsperson, elementary school teacher...before settling down to what I am doing now, which I love.

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  8. Have fun at the open house! Sounds like a good deal to me. Use your crutches!!! They make you look hardcore.

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  9. Funny you ask such a question today. I have been in the midst of a panic about my future. I am applying for MSW programs, but I am finding I have absolutely no clue what I want to do yet. DWTS sounds very appealing right about now.

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  10. This is such a cool job and their skirts are awesome. I bet wearing them will help you heal faster.

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  11. Shelley - all the clothes are xs. Their sizes run a bit big, so if you are a medium, go small, etc.

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  12. I need to find me a job that pays in running clothes! Very cute outfits :)

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  13. You look like you belong on DWTS in that first photo! That is awesome you get paid in clothes, especially running clothes. Have fun!!

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  14. I'd teach you how to dance if you live nearby haha! That was my job before I moved here. =)

    I love the outfit! Looks awesome on you =)

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  15. super jealous...being paid in clothing is AWESOME!!! i found myself wearing my running clothes a lot too even when i wasnt running while injured. made me feel like i was still a runner

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  16. Cutest running clothes, ever! And you are/were a Dilettante...nothing wrong with that, if I do say so myself. I will call you "wanting to experience all life has to offer" rather than indecisive.

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  17. My Life and Running: yep the top is from them too. It's their runner's dream shirt:

    http://skirtsports.com/shop/product.cfm/id/1117-Runners-Dream-Long-Sleeve

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  18. love that outfit!! too cute! :) i have yet to purchase a running skirt, capris or otherwise...

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  19. I want to be "one of those rap guy's girlfriends. I've got a big butt and I cannot lie." But more importantly I love hip-hop dance and wish I knew how.
    Is that so wrong?

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  20. Work it girl! You look fabulous.

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  21. Hey, unwanted erections during teenage slow-dancing would've been a welcome change from never going to a dance and getting unwanted erections while... well, pretty much all the time: church, walking the dog, doing homework...

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  22. You will rock those crutches with that outfit! And I think it's a step in the right direction for a DWTS appearance!

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  23. Rock those crutches lady! You need to bling them out though.
    Cute outfit and I love that you are getting paid in clothes!

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  24. That sounds like a fun job! I was just in Colorado in August and want to go back!!!

    I just bought the Gym Girl Ultra Spinnin skirt to wear for my half marathon next week and I LOVE it! The interior stays put and it is super comfortable to run in.

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  25. I totally think you would rock Dancing With the Bloggers. Even with one leg you could do better than the 'Hoff.

    And I would gladly get paid in running clothes... that's where the money would probably go anyhow.

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  26. I'm glad that I'm not a boy! You are right about the slow dancing.

    Besides, boy runners to get to wear hot outfits like that when they run :)

    You are rockin those skirts! Love em :)

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  27. Eeek, hopefully they give you a chair or something. I can't even imagine being on crutches all day long!

    Very cool htat you got that gig.

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  28. Very cute outfit. Enjoy the new 'job', I like their payment plan.

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  29. OMG The lust I am feeling toward those skirts is comparable to that of a teenage boy. I would LOVE to get paid in clothes! Lucky girl!

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  30. I have a pair of capris with a skirt too, and though I like it, it's hard to find something to wear with it! I feel I shall have to go out in them, just wearing my bra.

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  31. Lucky girl! I have been eying those capri skirts...

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  32. I LOVE the capris-in-the-skirt!! This coming from a girl who is still Far from being convinced to run in a skirt. Tell them they hit the spot with that one.

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  33. I would like to get my MSW! If I meet the criteria, I'll be signing up as a part-time student for next fall.
    Love DWTS!

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  34. Those outfits are sooooooo cute!!!! You look adorable!!

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  35. If they picked me it would be for my big HEART - and the fact that people laugh at my dancing.

    BTW I think EMZ can teach you how to dance ... she's a closet latino.

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