Monday, October 18, 2010

Ryan Hall is on the Phone

First things first. After wanting to shove someone’s head into a wall, I am registered for the Boston Marathon 2011! I knew registration would be a fiasco, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

Sam: Mom do we have any raisin toast?

Me: Don’t talk to me. I’m trying to register.

Emma: Is it like trying to get Taylor Swift tickets?

Me: Yep, only I didn’t have to run 3:42 for that.

Emma: Mom what does it mean if I have a temperature of 100 degrees and my ear hurts?

Me: Can’t talk. Trying to register.

Sam: Mom the house is on fire and Ryan Hall is on the phone.

Me: Don’t talk to me. Trying to register.

Okay. Got my confirmation email. Patriot’s Day and I have a date. Back to meeting everyone's needs.

What a weekend. I kept busy, mostly to forget that I wasn’t going to be running on Sunday. Problem is, with the damn crutches, there is no forgetting. My underarms are bruised. My right leg is twitching from having to carry all the weight. But, my ass has not yet grown in size and I’m hoping I can keep it that way over the next few inactive weeks.

We hit the expo on Saturday, then met some friends for lunch who you might recognize: Adam (Boring Runner), Tara (Tara Loves to Run) and Jill (Run with Jill). Ken, my kids and Adam’s wife, Tiffany, were there too:


There was beer involved which obviously helped Adam’s race (3:23) and Ken’s (1:44 – a 5 minute PR).

I liked the feeling of Jill’s Boston medal in my hands. Sorry, Jill. I think it’s stuck. I’ll give it back later. Have another beer and you’ll never know it’s gone. Quick kids, shove it down my pants.


“Gimpy”, “boring”, “heel injury” and “aching ass” (nicknames). Out of all of us only Adam was uninjured and about to run. He’s also the only one with a penis.


When the crutches got too painful:


Sunday sunrise as the kids and I headed to Denver at 7am, hoping to find Ken at the half finish


Always a good view coming into the city:


Getting to the finish was quite the effort. We parked, caught a shuttle, then I hobbled 5-6 blocks around puking runners and millions of annoying spectators (like me) just in time to see Ken cross the line.

Ken and kids at the half finish. A new medal and PR! What’s that growing out of his head?


I like this lime green jacket because it makes me look like I have boobs. Thanks, Vicki's Secret, for the padded bra.


Taking the shuttle back to the car so we could start tracking my friend Joie in the marathon. What the hell is Sam doing? He looks like he belongs with all the homeless folks out on the streets of Denver.


So…Joie was running her first ever marathon. She is also my guinea pig. I created her training plan and coached her to the start line. She got there healthy and strong (except for some diarrhea last week. Sorry, Jo, had to put that in). We managed to find her and cheer her on at miles 15, 18, 23 and the finish (runner tracking texts sent to your phone are the best invention ever). I love this picture. This is in Washington park at about Mile 15. Looking good!



Mile 18, also in Washington Park:


There she goes…


Here she comes!! 26.2 miles in 4:41. Rock star!


Here’s what I learned:

  • Everyone looks like shit at mile 23
  • Crutches in crowds suck, but can be used as a weapon to move people out of your way
  • If you have the time and the commitment, you can do it
  • Bloggers make for some very good friends
  • There is always another race
  • It’s easier to get Taylor Swift tickets than to register for Boston.
  • It’s easier to get Taylor Swift tickets than to qualify for Boston.
  • Watching your husband and dear friend cross the finish line after months of training makes up for being injured (well, almost)
  • Porta potties smell like shit

Tomorrow is another day,



  1. i STILL haven't been able to get through. ughhhhh

  2. Registering for Boston with a femoral head fracture is... uh, gutsy? Yeah, that's better than the other choices for adjectives. I now know three women who've recovered from that injury - 6 months before running in each case.

    Hope you buck the odds!

  3. You are 100% correct. Everyone DOES look like shit at mile 23.

  4. Yay, Congrats on getting to Boston! You are too funny! Hope you are off the crutches and back at it soon! I love the pic of you and Joie at mile 15, you look like you're ready to run (hobble along) too!

  5. Congrats to Ken, Joie, and Coach Beth! And Adam is just way too fast.

    I had a pain in the ass experience this a.m. getting registered too--4 times before it went through. But it did, so I'll see you in April!

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  7. I would use the money to register for the Sherwood Robin Hood 1/2 Marathon in July. It will be my first.

  8. I love your lessons learned!

    Great pictures of some very great bloggers that I follow - I'll have to start following Tara's blog.

  9. Great PR - news - looked that it was a good day for those all around!

  10. Congrats on finally getting registered for Boston. Saw you in Washington Park cheering on your friend. I was the crazy girl who kept shouting Beth. he he he :o)


  11. OK, so if I have you create a training plan for me (though I'm fine with the diarrhea, don't need coaching there), will you come and cheer me along at miles 15, 18, 23 and the finish? 'Cause that would be awesome!

  12. That's great that you registered for Bston. So jealous!

  13. Great stories! Loved the Mojo from them!!

  14. You are a good sport! Glad you made it out to cheer for your peeps. Hang in there!

  15. First off, I know how hard it is to spectate when you were supposed to be running. Good job getting out there and making some happy happen for your loved ones! Second and more importantly, I can't wait to meet you in Boston! Just got Spike signed up this a.m., it's on! I will get to spectate all my favs this year! :)

  16. Wait, I have a penis, that means I won't get injured! Thanks for that, Dr. Beth.

  17. Love it! And hilarious account of Boston registration.

  18. Am I the only one who read the title of this post and thought, "DAMN, first Dean and now Ryan?!?! Beth is freakin' FAMOUS!"

  19. Congrats on getting through to the Boston registration page! Love your posts, as always.

  20. Crutches suck, you should go snag that cart you rode in Target the last time you had a fracture....congrats on registering!

  21. Crutches suck so much I cut off my cast Ricky Bobby style 3 days after getting the cast on my leg. So I commiserate with you. But you still have a great blog, with stories of your husband and your trainee finishing! Awesome, just awesome!

  22. Love this post.

    Love the meet-up party!!

    YAY for piggy backs.
    YAY for BOSTON!!

  23. Looks like a gorgeous day and congrats to the finishers and their PRs.

    Now onto that mile 23 glad to know that we all look that way b/c I certainly have felt that way.

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  25. This the greatest post ever! Your family is amazing. I love that you are all so involved.

    I will be running the Los Angeles Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon on Sunday. *PLEASE* be sending SUAR thoughts my way. I'll need 'em.

    Joie must think you are the greatest for being there for her! Much love to you and yours.

  26. I think you are one hilarious, bad ass, mother runner. I started running - slowly - this year and I find your posts honest and life giving to me and I have learned to always, ALWAYS poop before running. Thank you for your honesty and I cannot wait to hear about how you kicked Boston's ass!!

  27. Looks like you made the best of the weekend in spite of it all. Good for you.

    Signing up for Boston this morning was a fiasco. I thought my credit card might be charged 15 times for the amount of clicks on that stupid submit button. BUT.. finally, the confirmation email. YAY! Now we can endure the misery of training through the winter. Gotta love a challenge.

  28. Love the recap and love your blog! Thanks for the giggles and smiles. Congratulations on Boston!!

  29. I have been following your blog for some time now, and somehow completely missed that Ken is also a runner!!! I just thought he was awesomely supportive going to all of your races (my hubs sleeps in). That is fantastic!

    BTW, that horrible look at mile, ya...i seem to always look like that when running at any mile.

    Congrats on Boston! Im not quite there yet.

  30. Awww, Bethie, you will get you own Boston medal in 2011 cuz you got to register today - yay!!!!! But you can use mine to decorate your crutches any time, you just holler. Congrats to Joie (was so fun to meet her at the Skirt Chaser) and you being there cheering (I probably was in your exact same spots - did you see Adam? I ran with him a tiny bit here and there) and yay to Ken for rocking his half!! HUGS!

  31. yes! I'm so excited that you registered for Boston!

  32. I feel jealous looking at the first three pictures.
    the end.

  33. way to go on being supportive when you can't join in the fun...i'm still considering asking someone to let me pigggy back so I can BQ!

  34. I thought Boston reg would be just CRAZY this morning. Glad you finally got your email.

    Congrats to Ken on his half PR! Sounds like a great day out there. You're a trooper for hobbling around on those crutches among the masses!

  35. “Gimpy”, “boring”, “heel injury” and “aching ass” (nicknames). Out of all of us only Adam was uninjured and about to run. He’s also the only one with a penis.

    Now I have to clean up the coffee that I just laugh all over my keyboard!!!!

  36. Yay glad you got through! Now WTH was Jill doing with her medal out? Hypnosis?

  37. Yayyy for BOSTON! You're going to have so much fun! And congrats to Ken and Joie!
    I like the idea of crutches as weapons, I might have to bust some out next time I'm in a crowd ;)
    Hang in there girlie!

  38. you're a fun person! :-) i'm excited to meet you in April. If you have any Boston questions be sure to let me know, it's where i live!

  39. WhooHoo glad you got through for Boston! Now hoping you heal quickly and can get back out there!

  40. new follower here. congrats on getting registered for boston. and i cant imagine how bittersweet it was to watch as others ran the marathon. look forward to reading your blog!

  41. As Adam can attest, the penis brings magical injury prevention powers. I suggest you grow one of those before Boston rolls around. It should help with the speed too! Looks like everyone had a blogtastic good time!

  42. p.s. - I hope you didn't get poop on Jill's Boston medal...

  43. RunnuRMark - would a strap on work?

  44. Saw your note that said your underarms are painful & bruised?? They should definitely not be. Im a physical therapist, and in the picture, your crutches look a little too tall. I'd take them down a notch. You shouldn't be putting any pressure through your armpits, just through your hands :)

  45. OOOH! you are my crutch buddy!

    it IS a siler lining, you have to really wanna see it, though!

    GET BETTER! NOW! I want you to run Boston!!!!

  46. Thanks Stephanie Anne for the advice. I'll do it.

  47. Achy ass huh? Let's just shorten it to AA; that's fitting.

    Congrats to your friend and to Ken! Great job by both!

    PS-I would rather be injured full time then have one a penis. Those things can get you into all sorts of trouble.

  48. hahaha! i have yet to check how I look like at mile 23. but i think you're right =D

  49. This post is really just awesome. Serious. You could have been cussing out every runner going buy and tripping them with your crutches, but nope. You were there ,at every possible mile, to show your love and support for those still in it. How cool is that? And it means even more to do it with bruised armpits and cracked bones. You are a true runner.

  50. Way to keep a positive attitude. I thought of you all weekend- especially for the 10 minutes I was in Denver today!!! <3

  51. Haven't you heard? that is how the elite men are faster than the elite women. They have that extra appendage that they let swing with their body motion.

    Don't believe me? Try running without moving your arms back and forth.

  52. Lots of fun pics and such a cool bloggy meetup! You did a great job should certainly be proud!

    About that hanging appendage...I say let's pass, seems all the brains get pulled into it (not ideal for thinking smart).

    YAY for Boston!! Hang in there'll come out stronger!

  53. Just noticed Ken's JMU shirt. I gradumatated from there in 1990. Still sending positive healing vibes your way.

  54. You are an amazing and brave inspiration! So nice to see you cheering your husband and yourfriend on at the race! Look forward to seeing you heal and get ready for Boston!

  55. So glad you got into Boston! Yay! Did you hear they sold out in 1 day this year? Very fun looking meet up!

  56. You created her training plan? Of course it includes diarrhea....

  57. So the hardest part of Boston is done, right?
    You are one gutsy lady. Love it!

  58. Mile 23? I look like hell wayyyyy before that.
    Congrats to:
    Hub's PR and you getting into Boston. THey won't know what hit 'em.

  59. Congrats on the Boston Registration!! Great Job to your hubby with the PR. Also very thankful to VS for the maximum uplift 5!! I ended up using crutches that rested behind my forearm because I couldn't handle them being under my arms. Those things really are quite the workout! By the end, I actually think I could have done a marathon faster in them than running-ha!! Looks like you had a fun meetup and yes-beer makes the world go round!!

  60. i'm behind, you're on crutches AGAIN?! welcome to the "twice on crutches in two years club" i suppose. we are an elite group :) congrats on getting into boston, sounds like it was a huge pain in the ass! but well worth it!

  61. LOVE all of these pictures!! What a perfect day for her first marathon - nice work, Coach!! And Jo! :) And huge congrats to Ken, too!!

    Wish I could've joined that lunch! Mmm, beer.

  62. Yay for registering for Boston! That conversation totally cracked me up! :)

    I wish I could have met up with all of you for lunch! Hopefully some day we'll get to meet in person!

    Congrats to Ken for his PR and your friend for her first marathon!