Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Fruit Loops Are Not a Health Food

Do you ever find inspiration in the most random and unexpected of places? Maybe you clicked on someone's blog roll and ended up at SUAR and in the midst of tales of crapping in the weeds and farting on one’s running partner, you find a nugget of something you can hold onto, something that propels you forward.

Or, maybe not. Maybe you decide to never return to this shit-filled blog again.

In any event, sometimes motivation, inspiration and clarity can be found in the gosh darndest of spots. If you’re open to it, that is.

I told you I have a numb left hand. Still do and it’s been several weeks. I’ve been seeing a chiropractor (ex-preacher) for the problem. I try not to cuss in the ex-preacher’s presence but the other day he was doing some funky thing with a shocking device (I don’t think it was S & M) and I yelled “JESUS!!!”  Then I apologized.  I was just asking Jesus to intervene and make the doc stop the electrocution, but I felt bad taking the Lord’s name in vain in front of preacher man. Just didn’t seem right. But then again, he used the word penis in front of me and I didn’t get mad.

(Oh, and as a side, do you ever fart when you think it’s safe? Yesterday I let a huge one fly while lying on the auto massage table at the chiro office. It was silent, but so incredibly deadly. Not three seconds after I cut it, the doc walks in to ask me a question.  I wanted to explain the smell, but thought it best to leave it alone. Do you explain or refrain?).

Chiro doc thinks my hand issue is linked to some smashed discs in my neck, blah, blah, blah. As part of treatment with this guy, he requires you attend a workshop at his office. Yeah, requires. Let me get this right. I’m paying this dude to see him three times per week and he gets to make me come to a workshop? Against my will? On a Tuesday night when both Glee and the Biggest Loser are on? I wasn't too happy about it, but instead of making waves, decided to have an open mind.

Mostly the workshop was about the benefits of alternative medicine, how much of the population is overmedicated, how Fruit Loops are not a health food and how health costs are rising - *yawn*. Who’s got the Fruit Loops cause I need a snack.

Then, he started talking goals. I eat this stuff up. Just throw me some self help buzz words and I get a slight erection.

His talk of goal-setting really hit home. I set goals in my mind sometimes, but rarely write them down (with the exception of training plans). Recent research shows that the act of writing down goals makes it infinitely more likely that you will pursue and even achieve them. Goals give us direction and help us overcome confusion and conflict over our desires, actions and values. Goals can focus on anything: being a better parent, meditating or praying everyday, running a race, losing weight, deciphering your life’s calling. They are meant to make you a better person. Here are some guidelines to get started:

  • Goals must be in writing. An unwritten goal is a wish.
  • Goals must be specific (Instead of saying, “I want to run a race”, say “I want to run 26.2 miles in May 2011.”).
  • Goals must be believable. If you don't believe you can reach them, you won’t. If you have just started running, you probably won’t place in your age group in that Turkey Trot 10K – or maybe you’re a freak of nature, who knows? The point is, set yourself up to be successful.
  • Goals must be challenging. They must demand more from you. For races I like to have three goals – one I can live with, one that’s a slight stretch and one that’s a total dream.
  • Goals must be adjusted to changing conditions. Lose your foot to frostbite? Might have to opt out of that race next month.
  • Goals must be reviewed everyday. This is essential to staying motivated.
  • Goals must have action steps and target dates for completion. Breaking your goals down into small steps (daily, monthly, weekly) makes it easier to take action toward making your goal a reality

Along with being successful at achieving goals is having a positive mental attitude. Something that helps with this is affirmations – things you tell yourself as a mini pep talk. Examples:

  • I visualize myself exactly the way I want to be
  • I give 100% in all that I do.
  • I expect and deserve the best
  • My success starts in my mind
  • I am strong, capable.
  • I will not fart on the massage table.

Do you have goals that you write down? Does it make a difference?

PS: Don’t forget my iPod Shuffle and iTunes gift card giveaway. Ends Saturday.


  1. Says who? I wanna know who says they are not a health food.


    I am strong.
    I've got this.
    I'm going to Vegas.

  2. I'm a major to-do list maker, but I rarely write down long-term and/or personal goals. I've generally got willpower to a fault, which often drives my wife nuts, so once I get a goal in my head it usually takes seed. Maybe I should start writing them down. That's part of why I started writing my blog, yet now that I think about it I haven't really bothered to blog about my goals. Subconscious avoidance perhaps?

  3. i love this post on many levels. on the fart level and the goal level.

    i am trying to write goals down and this is the first time i really have started trying to set goals for races and write them down. i love the point that they need to be challenging.

    i have a 5k this weekend and my goal is to run it in 8.15 minutel miles or better

  4. "I get a slight erection" ? @-O

    I have goals and as I age maybe it's the one above - dunno?

    I agree totally with your statement except that you put down your blog - however self-effacing and humble is untrue - I like this blog way better than other popular blogs with contests every week and another sweaty picture of the author.

    This blog has stuff called information in it.

    I don't get the "I am strong, capable, a winner" ... I have a rule at the office - as soon as HR wants to put a sign up about teamwork - I fire everyone in HR. Some things need to be, and not need to be stated. If you are a winner be one, don't state that you are one.

  5. Always write them down. Every January and start of school. Individual, Kids, and Family goals.
    I just checked my fruit loop box and it said they are made of whole wheat!? Come on now-the word fruit is in the name.

  6. Too true about setting goals, and especially in being realistic. People tend to over estimate what they can achieve in the short term, and under estimate on the long term.

    For Ultramarathons you have to have a little more flexibility with your goal setting, and factor that in with the specifics (if that's possible).

    I did a posting on goal setting a while back if you're interested. Guaranteed a poo free post!

    Happy Running!

  7. I love writing down my goals and I love reviewing them each day. It makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere. I blog about some of my goals, others stay with me and my calendar.

    Writing my goals also expands my circle of things that I want to be really good at (not just things that I am comfortable with)!

    I'm not into the pep talks. Honestly, I don't think they would work for me. Well, maybe the last one you listed :)

  8. I work in Sales and we're goal-ed up the butt and reviewed every quarter. I used to think it was a bunch of fluff but don't anymore.

    I've transferred the same thought process over to running. Where I used to enter 5K's and jogged behind the strollers and never really improved, I'm now training for a marathon, and have a time that I want to hit.

    In the words of Stuart Smalley: I'm good enough, I'm strong enough, and doggone it, PEOPLE LIKE ME!!

  9. Write them down - heck, I blog about them.

    I also set bronze, silver, gold and fantasy!

  10. Froot Loops are crap, eat Lucky Charms if you want real health food.
    This was a terrific post (as always). I often think about my goals and even say them out loud, but I don't usually write them down. There is a huge difference.
    And, no, I never explain my farts. I think most people would prefer to pretend that farts don't happen.

  11. Interesting. That was kinda deep. I like deep posts that involve the words erection and penis ALL in the same few paragraphs. Kept me hooked the whole time! Fabulous, just fabulous!

  12. No need to explain...He probably knew exactly what it was. LOL!

  13. niiiiice. i don't write down my goals. i think it's a insecurity thing. obviously the point of writing down a goal is to make it real but "making it real" can be so scary! most of the time i end up hitting my scary goals anyway. which is lucky and very nice i suppose

  14. My goal is NOT to fart in my healthcare practitioner's office. AS a healthcare practitioner, however, my goal is to fart nearest the patient most unlikely to notice, ie the gorked out guy in room 4 or, more often, the drunk in bed 7.

    When in doubt, deny deny deny. BLAME it on the guy in 7. Or the dog.

    Given your propensity to shitting at inopportune moments, I think any "nugget" I find on this blog is to be regarded as deeply suspicious. ;)

  15. Even better than writing them down--I put 'em in a blog for the whole damn world to see.

  16. OK, I write my goals down and they they vanish under the stack of magazines, papers, books... does it still count?

    Gosh that chiro has you hooked now. Regular visits, workshops, what's next?

  17. ok not to kiss ass or anything, but you are really a huge inspiration for me to run! your stories make me laugh with tears coming down my face and motivate me to push my self more every day! i have 13.1 written in huge letters hanging in my room and tell myself everytime i run that i can do it! thanks for the inspiration! xoxo

  18. I think it's actually "Froot" Loops...not that I'd know that first hand though ;).

    You are such an inspiration, Beth! I just love ya, girl.

    Ok, I'm confused....why was it mandatory to go to a workshop?

  19. I know this isn't the point of your post, but I totally laughed about you farting in the office and then the doc. walking in...ha ha!
    I'm not very good at making goals. I think about them in my head, but I never write them down. I really think I need to start doing that.

    You should check out this blog: She always sets weekly goals and does it in a cool way!

  20. i LOVED this post! I have goals... or wishes rather since i dont right them down. Maybe I should change that...

  21. Goals are for people who can't handle drugs and alcohol. No wait, that's exercise. Numb hand, hair on the palm, we all know the cause.

  22. Big believer in writing down the goals. Though I have not done it in a while. Guess my first written goal o' the day is to write down my goals. Love the ex-preacher S&M chiropractor -- you could not make that stuff up.

  23. I don't write down my goals. I talk about them. The people I talk to them about check up. I don't want to embarress myslef and tell them I failed, so I do my best!

  24. 1) Goals must make your friends snort.
    2) Goals must be listed and refined until no time is left to actually attempt them.
    3) Goals must involve profanity or blasphemy.
    4) Goals must be made under the influence of alcohol and lack of sleep.
    5) Goals are worth 6 points before the conversion.

  25. I don't make a habit of writing down goals, unless you count race goals which I usually post on the blog. It's something I should work on... hmm, maybe I'll make that a goal. :)

    Interesting that you had to take a workshop through your chiro... sounds like you got some good stuff out of it though.

  26. Interesting one. thanks for sharing this to us! Something to learned with! :)

  27. I was going to read this post, but when I saw the title I disagreed with it so much that I refused. Hopefully it wasn't too good otherwise I'll be a bit bummed out.