Warning: Drama unfolding
Sigh.
We have been separated for about two weeks, running and me. I ache for it everyday. I see it all around me, yet it can’t be a part of me. Not now. I miss its comforting pace while taking me down a tree-lined road on a long run. I yearn for its drill sergeant voice that orders me to do one more Yasso even though I might throw up or crap my pants. I crave the words of wisdom and inspiration that light up my brain when we spend the morning on a trail by a lake looking at the mountains. I miss sharing the frosty winter mornings together when all is calm and barely light.
I know there are other friends like biking and swimming and yoga. They are good support systems too. They want me to be strong, yet they accept that I only spend time with them so I can go back to my first love - running.
You are right. It is not the end of the world to not be able to run. There are worse things. Much worse things. Children get hurt. Parents pass away. Cancer happens. The list goes on.
The thing about running, though, is it lessens the blow of all the really bad stuff. It accentuates the good. It takes a mundane day and gives it purpose and insight. It provides a means of coping with the ups and downs of life. It is constant. It is always there. Well, almost always.
I know it will be back. We still have a lot to do together.
Upon its return we will be tentative and careful with one another. Eventually, we will test our relationship as we start training. We might have some ups and downs as we try to figure out how to be together in a new and healthy way that does not involve someone getting hurt. I will set boundaries and that will be painful at times. Most likely we will need to take things slow and understand when to back off.
At the end of the day running has not let me down. It has given me the gift of OMFOTG (One More F*cking Opportunity To Grow). And grow I will.
But, for now my new friend is crutch. He sucks the big one (and makes me look like an old, tired hag).
Trying to be patient,
SUAR
Bummin' for you Beth - speedy recovery!
ReplyDeleteYou just made me appreciate every bit of running I can do. I won't complain about the early morning wake up tomorrow. I'll think of this.
ReplyDeleteSorry you can't run right now.
I am sorry. I know how you are feeling. I have been there. Are you strength training? That is what has kept me fracture free for the past 10 years. Hope the recovery goes by fast for you!
ReplyDeleteI know this is hard for you! I hope you recover quickly so you can get back out there. Stay stong and encouraged!!
ReplyDeleteI had bunion surgery about 6 months ago and had panic attacks and boughts of mild depression from not being able to run. It gets easier and make running that much better once you can get back to it.
ReplyDeletep.s. not to critize your crutches again haha but lower the hand grips a notch or 2, your elbow shouldn't be quite so bent. i wish doctors actually told people how to set them up & use them before sending people on their way. Good luck!
Aw you'll be back on your feet in no time!!
ReplyDeletehahahaha Loved the new acronym.
ReplyDeleteYou have my utmost sympathy Beth. I had a stress fracture two years ago and it was the longest three months of my life (hopefully you'll recover faster - mine went undiagnosed for awhile, so I kept running on it. Oops.)
ReplyDeletei'm serious that whacking ppl with your crutch is the best therapy for being injured. you should try it :)
ReplyDeleteat least your crotch isn't in a cast...
ReplyDeleteYou will get back to it. Healing is what you need!
Running is indeed a gift. Hope your recovery stays on track.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be back crapping in trees with the Keebler elves before you know it. I definitely feel for you ... riding out an injury tests ones resolve.
ReplyDeleteAs for that view from your deck. We can send someone over to knock down those trees and flatten out those mountains so your view of the sky isn't obstructed any longer. Maybe put up a CVS or a grocery store too. Apparently that's how it's done here in North Carolina.
hope your recovery will be fast. More power to you. You are such an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteBoo Crutch! Hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteWinks & Smiles,
Wifey
Just be smart and you will be back on the path in no time!
ReplyDeleteHang in there and heal the right way, so you can get out there and STAY out there. No cheating! I, like so many others, am rooting for you.
ReplyDelete"The thing about running, though, is it lessens the blow of all the really bad stuff. It accentuates the good. It takes a mundane day and gives it purpose and insight. It provides a means of coping with the ups and downs of life. It is constant. It is always there. Well, almost always."
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly how I feel about running... and because you posted this, I am even more inspired to push through my miles.
You should have some sort of challenge... keep your running schedule as you normally would and try to get blog followers on various days to do your run and report back to you... kind of vicarious training. ;-)
Your post is really inspiring! I run, but honestly, I don't love it. Part of the reason that I am a part of blogland is because I like reading how much you all enjoy running.
ReplyDeleteAnd this post makes it clear just how much you miss it. And it inspires me to trasure every moment that I have to run.
I will be thinking of you as I run my first half marathon this weekend. Thank you for your posts!
You will get through this and come out a stronger runner! Then, you can throw your new friend "crutch" to the curb! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts...I often forget I 'get' to do this running thing and take our friendship for granted.
ReplyDeleteno.more...
Heal up!
That's the good thing about running... it's like a good dog, just waiting for you to get back. Don't worry, you make the crutch look good!
ReplyDeleteHang in there lady. You'll be pooping your pants again soon enough. And this will all seem like a bad, clean shorts dream.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are much worse things than taking a break from running, but it still really, really sucks. Especially when running is how you sort of 'deal' with the other stuff that sucks in life. I had to take time away from running in the spring and I basically felt like I was snarky for that month off. I feel 'off' when I don't run!
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping you are back at it soon!
I can imagine I'd feel the exact same way as you express in your post. Once we start running and set our goals, it's difficult to be cut off in the middle of it all.
ReplyDeleteThe positive side of it all is that you WILL run again. As you express, there are injuries and life events that prevent ever having the opp. to run again. So recover and look forward to the future when you take off at warp speed, leaving the rest of the field behind you.
I'm there with you. Fifteen weeks and counting with two pelvic stress fractures. They're healed, but running isn't happening. It's a really shitty place to fracture (i.e. pelvis/hip), so please be patient!
ReplyDeleteDude. Hoping for a speedy recovery. (And I think you're rocking the crutches.)
ReplyDeleteAt least crutch is there for you to lean on while you recover. I'm sure you will come back faster and stronger, ready to take on Boston.
ReplyDeleteI've been there and totally get it. Running really does take on this whole personality to us and it's only natural that you miss it. Can't wait until you can pitch that crutch into a lake (or ditch or something of that sort!)
ReplyDeleteIt sucks, I have been there. Hang in there, I know you miss running, I was out from consistent running for almost 3 mos this summer. Here is to a speedy recovery!
ReplyDeleteI've been hanging out with other friends too; it's ok, it will make running that much better once we come back to it.
ReplyDeleteyou are awesome.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being real about it. You're awesome.
Before you know it you'll be off the crutches!! Wishing you a speedy recovery! :D
ReplyDeletemaybe the crutch could double as a weapon as your driving through target. see what you can get away with, keep it interesting.
ReplyDeletehopefully it's a speedy recovery and you're back out there in no time.
Even in frustration, you are so funny!
ReplyDeletebeing separated from running does suck...I have been there a few times, but you will be reunited! stay strong!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to wish you a speedy recovery. It doesn't take an injury for me to know that one sucks! Meanwhile, I am sooooo jealous of that Colorado view.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your words! I've been feeling similar about a complete tear of my hamstring...really set my goals for my next marathon way back! What is hard is that people who don't run don't get it...they don't understand how I could possibly be depressed with so much to be thankful for. Running is soul food. Best wishes to you in your recovery. Nice to find your blog in an attempt to enter blog land for the first time. :)
ReplyDeleteIt seems like whenever you can't run that is all you see. RUNNING.
ReplyDeleteIf you want, I can spool up some posts about pooping or drinking. You can still do those, right?