Thursday, January 19, 2012

It Goes On

Despite what you may have read in the news, Sherry’s body has not been found. We wait. 

I am finding out that in the midst of loss and tragedy, there are still fantastic things. I don’t think we need to feel guilty about finding enjoyment when tragedy strikes. The nature of life is that it goes on. We also go on with it whether we want to or not.  We move in and out of grief just as surely as we breathe. Emotions can fluctuate on a dime, and can be triggered by the littlest and most random of things. I think there is so much beauty and goodness to behold. It is fuzzier and harder to find than usual, but I know it is still there.

Fantastic #1: Ken. It’s his 46th birthday today. I should send his parents a thank you note for creating him just for me. Okay, not just for me. But, for everyone who enjoys how hilarious he is, how kind he is, what an amazing dad he is, and how he puts the toilet seat down every.single.time.

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Boulder 70.3 - August 2011

Fantastic #2: Yesterday, I got this anonymous note in the mail. No return address, no signature.

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It says:

I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I found this cash this morning on the sidewalk while out running. Thought it a sign you should have it for whatever you decide to do in your cousin’s memory. Sending prayers your way.”

So thank you, whoever you are. I love people.

Fantastic #3: Last night I learned that Trader Joes is coming to Boulder. Just two weeks ago, I couldn’t take it any more and emailed Trader Joes asking why the hell they are not in Colorado.  I got this response:

“While we don't have any immediate plans to open stores in Colorado (LIAR), there are certainly customer demands for a location in your home state (NO DUH).  I hope this helps, and with enough customer outcry, Colorado might make the list...you never know.”

Clearly, Trader Joes has their shit together. After they got my email with my “outcry,” they secured a spot in Colorado and figured it out. Quick turn around for sure. I clearly make things happen.

Fantastic #4: Lindsey left this comment on my blog, which actually made me LOL and I HATE that term. But I did LOL. I did not LMFAO, but I did LOL. And no, I was not RATFLMAO either, but I did LOL. For some reason farts and fabric stores in the same sentence strikes me as very, very funny.

“I thought about you last night - a friend and I were in Joann fabrics and someone was walking around (I SWEAR she was following us!) crop dusting us the whole time. Thanks, lady.”

Fantastic #5: Dolvett

So, you see, in the darkness there are moments of light found in celebrations, notes from strangers, farts, shopping, and Dolvett. I’ve always said that and it’s true. Some of you may think that’s crass or inappropriate. I don’t mean to be. It’s just how I feel.

By the way, although I can’t respond to everyone, I read every single comment you leave and every single email you send. Every single one. Your outpouring of kindness has made me feel less alone, less crazy and more comforted. Thank you.

What kind of fantastic are you seeing despite tough times?

SUAR

72 comments:

  1. Happy B-Day Ken. I love that name........

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  2. Happy Birthday, Ken! That's my Dad's name. And funny story-my mom's name is Barbie. No joke. Kids used to call me Skipper when they found out what my parents' names were...haha!

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  3. We lost my aunt to cancer just last week and spent this past weekend doing her funeral, etc. And although I am still so sad about losing her, I find myself smiling as I watch my dog slide around the icy lake at the dog park, skidding to a stop just like the dogs on cartoons. It's the little things that make each day a bit easier :)

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  4. In the midst of my mom telling us that she had breast cancer while her mom was in the hospital undergoing 24h rounds of chemo for leukemia, she asked us if it was the right time to tell her mom that she would be having a double mastectomy the next week. My nephew, just starting to talk at the time, was crawling around and yells "NO!" (which was the only word in his vocabulary that was understandable). It was perfect timing, and absolutely hilarious then. In that moment, we knew that no matter what cancer may be taking from our family, we still had each other, plus an outspoken child, to be thankful for and make us smile.

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  5. Happy Birthday Ken! January babies are the best....:) ha!

    It is a wonderful thing to not only love your spouse but also LIKE them.

    Fantastic this week...my kid is star of the week in his K class. He has been waiting since August 9 to be the star. He could not be happier. It is pure joy to listen to his recap of the day this week.

    I think of you and Sherry at every step of every run. Every night I ask for 2 things
    1. Health for my family
    2. that she will be found.

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  6. Yesterday my BF and I made fun of the way people run at Greenlake in Seattle. I mean, seriously, there are some strange running techniques out there! :) Have you keep laughing in life and yes, it always does go on. Thoughts your way....

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  7. happy B-Day Ken. Enjoy your day and make sure to play turtle with Beth since today is your day.

    BTW (do you like that term or should I stop using that too.......m'fer not liking LOL or LMFAO or ROTFLMAO) - I got nothing I'm just mad that you don't like LOL

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  8. last week my brother was diagnosed with cancer and my grandma passed away. i have seen fantastic in the form of support of family/friends/bloggers to help me get through this time. also fantastic - red wine and cheesecake :)

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  9. Happy happy B-Day to Ken. Although I think my husband is the best husband out there, I'm sure Ken runs a strong second :) My thoughts of you and your family are daily. Breathe, laugh, cry and run. Time will heal your wounds, but memories will never fade.

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  10. How sweet about that note and money. ♥ Happy birthday to Ken! And the good always outweighs the bad. I'm glad you know that and can hold on to that--and shop at Trader Joe's now too. ;)

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  11. Such a great post, Beth. I'm glad you're starting to have some sunny moments in the midst of it all. Happy B-Day to Ken as well!

    There's a quote on on Pinterest that I found that I love. Kind of how I roll with it all:

    "Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either."

    Things are good for me right now, so I'm just enjoying it, yk? No complaints.

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  12. Trying to enjoy our ski trip in your lovely state while wearing a leg brace and dealing with the possibility that I tore my ACL or MCL.
    As you said 'life does go on' and days are always filled with good and bad, happiness and sadness, some of us are accustomed to look for happiness and the good in our lives.

    Thinking of you and Sherry's family. Sending prayers.

    Happy birthday to Ken.

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  13. Wishing Ken a great birthday :)

    My husband crop dusts in bookstores...he says they relax him. I always go browse in a different section.

    I love the perspective you have with regard to Sherry's death, grief, and life. You are an amazing woman, Beth.

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  14. I was at the gym the other day and Sherry's story was on the news in the TV in front of my machine. I thought of you, her, and your family throughout the rest of my run. Praying for answers and closure for you and so, so sorry for your loss :(

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  15. Yay for Random Anonymous People Kindness!!!! I bet your hubs has a great bday with his number 1 fan!
    My Fantastic of the week- my VERY timid daughter tried out for the high school chorus for next year! She sang all by herself and didn't twitch one bit!!! I'm just plain proud- whether she makes it or not! :)

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  16. Happy Birthday Ken!

    You guys look a little like Ken and Barbie actually (minus the cleavage maybe- no offense) :) (that's me....trying to make you smile)

    Love that you can find joy, in the midst of grief. I'm still praying daily that they find Sherry- to bring her home to her family, so they can have some peace.

    I love that that person mailed that money to you. That is AMAZING.

    I love your blog and I wish I was your BFF- cuz you are cool.

    Kelly in Michigan
    sitesx6@aol.com (too lazy for my own blog) Love reading yours though.

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  17. Praise the good Lord for men who put down toilet seats every time. Apparently, we both got good men.

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  18. Happy Birthday, Ken!
    Good for you for finding some happiness in the midst of a terrible tragedy. I'm sure it is what Sherry would want. I have been thinking about her on my runs and hope they find her soon. Take care.

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  19. Happy Birthday to Ken! Does he have sisters? My husband has 4 and he also always puts the seat down. I give them full credit.

    Every time I run I think about Sherry. Blessings.

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  20. YAY Ken! Seat down freaking rocks.
    awesome people are awesome [note].
    Thinking of you all the time.

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  21. People are pretty awesome.

    I have a lot of wonderful going on right now. I needed 20 volunteers for this Saturday's Diva Dash and I have 23 willing and able people to help me out. I love my friends. :)

    Volunteering for 7 straight hours must've brought me good running karma because just last night my friend informed me she has a bib for this sunday's Carlsbad Half Marathon, which I wanted to do but it sold out, and she won't be able to run. So boom! I get to run the race afterall. How awesome is that?

    Glad to hear you are finding happiness in the wonderful people in your life. And that was such a nice note from the stranger.

    Happy Birthday to your lovely husband. I bet you two are a hoot together!

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  22. Yours puts the seat down but mine goes one step further. I've actually trained him to sit down while going - no sprinkles!! :) Thoughts & prayers for Sherry, you & the family.

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  23. Fantastic #6: Dolvett! I think he deserves 2 spots!

    Fantastic #7: This Blog!

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  24. Happy birthday to you hubs.. I am still thinking of you and Sherry.. many thoughts and prayers.

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  25. Beth, I am so sorry for your loss. I think about you and your family everyday. Fantastic thing: I have a support group in my house, in my office, in my town, on Facebook, and through your blog and my blog. Everywhere I turn, I have someone there, besides the good Lord, cheering me on and helping me along. Another fantastic thing: I have a husband that not only survived cancer, but also puts down the toilet seat every time, and crop dusts and lets them rip anytime, anywhere. I have to say, it's sexy. It's always the little things, always. May all the little fantastic things help you through this tough time. You are an amazing woman and thank you for sharing your life with me and everyone else. Now THAT'S fantastic! :-)

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  26. That's really cool that someone sent you $15. Your comment was great 'i love people'. Glad that things are looking up, at least in a few little ways. You always have to have hope...

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  27. I love that someone sent you that money - amazing story. There are good people in this world after all.

    Happy Birthday to your hubby!

    Continuing to send prayers your way....

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  28. The fantastic is love and how amazing it is how Sherry has touched so many, even those who never met her.

    The fantastic is you sharing your story.

    And you are right, we do move in and out of grief. It has been over a year since I loss my dad and although on most days, I am strong and happy, on other days I may hear a song or a reference to cancer and start sobbing.

    Happy Birthday Ken! And that money, it was amazing how a find could mean something so amazing to someone and that you shared the story of generosity and the strength of the human spirit. Guess that is another fantastic!

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  29. That note from a reader brought tears to my eyes.

    There really are thousands... even MILLIONS of good people out there. Thank you for the reminder!

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  30. Thank you for this! I feel like you being able to see the lightness and humor that is out there despite everything you are going through means that I should do the same when faced with my own trying times. I continue to be sadened and frustrated with the lack of news from authorities about Sherry and wonder when there will be some closure for your family... I pray soon. One wonderful thing that always makes me happy regardless of what is going on is my toddler's ability to say exactly what she thinks: "Hi Mommy! You did your spin class? You're sweaty! You stink! You take a shower!"

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  31. Happy birthday to Ken! I love your fantastic things. Love the note from your reader. Thinking of you, Beth!

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  32. Your blog always makes me smile and LOL. I was feeling bummed when I woke up this am and obviously not looking at my glass as half full only focusing on what was not. Then I read your blog. If you can find fantastic thinks in the midst of all you have been through I certainly have no excuse. Time to give myself an attitude adjustment big time. Thank you for setting me straight.

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  33. It's so good that you are able to see and acknowledge the FANTASTIC things around you during this time. Keep it up and stay strong.

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  34. I think of you and Sherry daily, numerous times. You are right that it must go on and that doesn't take anything away from the grief you feel.

    Happy Birthday to Ken

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  35. I was almost lmao when i read Dolvett!!!! hhhaaa. So great.

    Had a funny today. While on the safari tram ride at the zoo, my son (age 5) loudly proclaimed his toots were stinkier than anyone else's!! I was like, omg. thanks for that son:)

    As for fantastic, a good friend of mine sent me a thank you card for being the sunshine in her life...got it today, and, really needed to hear that. Been having a rough few days and was nice to know someone thought I was cool:)

    Still thinking of you often and hoping they can find her body and put her to rest soon.

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  36. Things do go on. I remember very well when my grandmother passed away in 2004. The whole family was at their house after the funeral. It was one of the very few times that everyone was able to get together at the same time. Even at Christmas and Thanksgiving someone is always missing. But for my grandmother, everyone was there. And we had an absolutely wonderful time. At first we kind of tried to stay solemn but as the evening went on we decided that was ridiculous and enjoyed all the family togetherness. And when we did, it felt like she was THERE, ya know? It was comforting to be there, laughing, in her house.

    Still praying for your family.

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  37. I thought of you and Sherry during my short evening run last night (with a 70 lb dog). I though about what a blessing it is to be able to run and clear your head while totally alone. I say prayers of peace for Sherry and her family every day and will be ready whenever the virtual run is a "go".

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  38. my gosh, i can't begin to tell you how much i love reading your blog. whether you are making me laugh or making me cry, you are being real and i appreciate it so very much.
    i think about sherry every day, on every run. i pray for her and for all of your family. i'm not sure i will ever stop.
    but you are right, there are fantastic wonderful things happening in our lives every single day, always, and they keep us going.

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  39. It's true that life has to continue. I am so happy to read you guys are working through this process.

    Happy Birthday to Ken. I did write a poem for my grandmother on my father's birthday. I actually got it published.

    love love love that person! What a kind thing to do.

    Dovlett is a mood lifting visual aid. I keep grabbing the bar on my treadmill hoping he will show up to yell at me, "Don't touch me treadmill! Get your hands off my treadmill." But he hasn't shown up yet. ;-)

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  40. Happy birthday to what sounds like one of the best husbands out there. I love that your love for him shines through so easily - in your pictures and in your words. And that he wore the SUAR shirt at the Boulder 70.3!

    I think your perspective on life - in times of joy and sadness - are what draws people to you. I consider it answered prayers that you were able to find five fantastic things to write about today in the midst of your family's pain. God bless and many more prayers for all the hard times yet to come and the good ones too.

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  41. I'm looking forward to the virtual run. You are a a strong, inspiring lady!

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  42. Fantastics today...going out climbing today after a month of trying to get a day free for my friend and I, leaving work on time, coworkers I love being around, and supportive sweet friends that are always around. It's been a good day. Glad you had some fantastics of your own. :)

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  43. Honestly, I've been spooked and nervous on my usual predawn runs since this horrible tragedy started. I'm trying to remember the zen of my runs, but I just worry and look over my shoulder and think about Sherry. I've been running in my area for 15+ years and this week I ran armed for the first time ever. It's really sad.. RIP dear Sherry, may you return to your family soon..

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  44. Today was a crappy day, and honestly the only "fantastic" was reading your blog. :) You're probably "LOL"ing at that, but really - you make me giggle and think about important stuff all at the same time... and I love that!! So... thank you. :)

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  45. Happy birthday to Ken! I have been finding joy in everything my girls do, even when they fight. I am glad you are happy and finding joy in life. I hope your family has answers soon so that you have closure.

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  46. Such a lovely post. It would be so easy just to curl up in a little ball and say that the world is grey. But to try to find the bits of sunshine speaks volumes to the person that you are.

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  47. My hubby always puts the seat down too. My dad, when he visits not so much!
    Thinking good thoughts for you and your family. Maybe I should send Trader Joe's a message about coming to Vermont....

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  48. It's often very hard to remember the good amongst all the bad, as unfortunately, those things leave bigger footprints, but still we must try. Great post. Love the anonomyous letter...awesome.

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  49. Yes Beth, Ken was created with high hopes he would find someone just like you to complete his life. He sure has been a joy to us too. I am glad you appreciate him and have given him such adorable children for all of us to enjoy also. Keep up your good work as wife, lover, mother, etc.

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  50. Happy Birthday Ken!
    Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers Beth.

    For my fantastic of the week, it has been having the mental willpower to sit out some workouts while waiting for my knee to recover. Difficult, but necessary. Also eating lots of cookies to help the healing!!

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  51. Happy Belated Birthday Ken!

    Cool about the note and money. Runners are a nice bunch aren't they!

    Hoping for Sherry to come home soon. Thinking of you and her family.

    Stay safe out there everone!

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  52. Happy Birthday Ken!

    Another strange fart story that might make you laugh - my hubby was watching tv commercials yesterday for a furniture store, and he confessed he wants a leather sofa so he can sit on it naked and rip one. I was grossed out and amused at the same time - note to self, never get a leather couch. EVER.

    Hope that makes you smile. Keep pushing through.

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  53. Happy Birthday to your awesome husband!

    There is always beauty out there- sometimes it just feels a little deeper under the surface. Keep searching for it and farting along the way! ;-)

    I am getting to take a friend of mine, who is blind, to talk to my daughter's first grade class today about all that is POSSIBLE even with a disability! Mr. Chuck is an awesome man and will show the kids today that there is NEVER a time to give up! XO

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  54. Happy Birthday Ken...and here's to all of us "finding the sunshine" in our lives ! I personally found my "sunshine" in my morning run (even though it was foggy and dark)...simply a wonderful run.

    I hope you have a lovely day !

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  55. Happy birthday, Ken! My birthday was Tuesday, so clearly January babies rock. I am glad you are finding fantastic in the midst of grief, and I have no doubt Sherry would want that.

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  56. I had dinner last night with a dear friend. She lost her husband--the father of her two young kids--in a most tragic way 2 months ago. But we had dinner last night and we talked and laughed a little and enjoyed each other's company, while our kids talked and laughed and enjoyed each other's company. The sadness was there, but the life was there too. I am thankful to have her as a friend...friends are fantastic!!

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  57. You are right life does go on, you deal with the ups and downs of a loss as they come. My thoughts and prayers remain with you and your family. Happy Birthday, Ken:)

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  58. Hi Beth,
    My little bit of fantastic is being able to read Shut Up & Run (And of course my husband and kids)About a year ago I had sent you an email telling you a little about me and thanking you for your inspirational and funny words...It was a tough year as I battled breast cancer - IT'S OVER - Now I just need to get my ass back into shape...Sherry is in our prayers daily...God Bless!

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  59. Happy Birthday Ken adn I am sorry for your loss also that anonymous note was amazing :) people are so great arent they :)

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  60. 1. Happy Birthday to your Hubs!
    2. My daughter accused me of farting really loudly in the library. Heads turned. I had to tell her that I didn't not fart but it only made me look guilty. I will take the blame for my own farts but not those of others!
    3. I love Dolvett. I love how he is calm one minute and then drill sargent the next. I almost want to get fat enough to go on the show so he can train me.

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  61. I LOVED today's post!!!! I love the idea of sending your hubby's parents a Thank-You note! Happy Birthday to your main squeeze! My eyes were filled with tears about your thank-you note and the anonymous note you received in the mail. What a beautiful person! I can't say it enough.....I love, love, love our SUAR running family! Is it possible to have not met any of you but feel so close to you all?! I love Lindsey's comment as well! :D

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  62. I see a beautiful sky in Virginia with the birds flying high and the clouds floating by. Life does go on, but I enjoy stopping to soak it all in once in a while. I think of your cousin often and know she is soaring above as well. So sorry for your loss.

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  63. It's that kind of stuff that keeps someone going when times are tough. Love the anonymous letter.

    Happy birthday to Ken!

    Making me smile right now--reconnecting w/ old friend from college.

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  64. Happy Birthday to Ken!

    Fantastic that it's Friday and temps will be in the 60s and 70s all wknd here in TX!

    Hope you have a great wknd. Stay strong and will continue praying for you guys.

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  65. I just need to tell you that I am sorry and I think about Sherry and pray for her to be found every day. You are an amazing uplifting strong person and I LOVE YOUR BLOG!

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  66. As a female who just started running a couple of years ago this story really hit hard. It taught me that I need to be more cautious on my runs. Despite the previous events you are a strong person who inspires me as a person and a runner. Thank you for your amazing blog. I am praying for Sherry and your family.

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  67. Happy Birthday to Ken! And I am glad that you are continuing to find light in a world that seems so dark at times.

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  68. Oh wow -- that note and money in the mail really does restore my faith in humanity. For every scum bucket out there - there are good people in the world.

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  69. No mater how crappy my day is, my boyfriend is always there and seems to do and say the right things. No matter how bad, he always makes me feel better :)

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  70. Hah, so many Fantastic things! Not so much the crop-dusting for those gals, but for us? Entertainment in its purest form.

    That note is beyond fantastic, as is the fact that Colorado is FINALLY getting a Trader Joe's. Oh, how things change quickly - I would've done anything to have one while we were out there!

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