Tragedy

Today I had a tragedy. Due to way too much snow/slush/messy crap still on the ground, I found myself on a treadmill at the gym again this morning. This makes like 95 times in the past week, or it feels that way.

One of the things that makes the ‘mill bearable is music. I put in my ear buds, and SHIT. Are you kidding me? No battery charge. When will technology get advanced enough so I never have to remember to charge stuff? I almost turned around, slapped the guy behind me on the bike (not that he deserved it, but someone has to get the brunt of my unhappiness), and stormed out the door. However, I dug deep for inner strength, found it, and began my workout anyway.

One of my favorite things to do on the treadmill to keep it interesting (besides playing the Outlast Game) is doing hill work. This is one thing that is much easier to do on a treadmill than on the trails or road. I put the setting on “random” which means that every minute or so the incline changes. I put it on a tough setting, so that when the incline does change, it's pretty significant. I then choose my speed and don’t change it throughout the workout. This means that whether the incline is 0% or 5%, I am challenging myself to keep my same pace. It is not easy. Today’s workout was five miles at 6.8 mph (8:49 min/mile), which is a piece of pound cake while it’s on 0% incline, and a piece of hard ass shit when it’s on 5%. Or, maybe I am just a pussy.

Damn! but a hard, sweat fest is fun and satisfying (TWSS).

I rushed home, showered, and threw some 15 Bean Soup in the crockpot (I soaked the beans overnight) before heading to work. Best hearty, winter soup EVER. Guaranteed to promote flatulence! Says so on the label.

On my drive I saw this bumper sticker on someone's car and it make me laugh out loud (LOL!!). Yes, I  am in fifth grade, thanks for asking.

By the way, the third installment of the Refuel with Chocolate Milk videos from Vegas was posted yesterday HERE. You can see what a dork I look like when I am trying to be serious and thoughtful. I do way better being immature and crude. The first and second episodes are HERE and HERE if you care. I find them entertaining and not just because I’m in them. Refuel did a great job putting these together. There are two more to come!

When the weather makes it almost impossible to run outside, do you treadmill-it or just skip it? Be honest. I usually weather the bad weather (wind, rain, cold temps, blistering hot temps, snow). But if it’s really slick outside I go indoors because no run is worth breaking a bone and being laid up for months with the pussy posse. I hardly ever just skip it.

Do you always run with music? I do. It motivates me. I only train without it if the race I’m training for doesn’t allow iPods.

Best bumper sticker you’ve ever seen? When I was a kid I loved “Save gas, fart in a jar” and “Is that your face or did your neck throw up?” Not sure why. Still pretty funny. Yep, still in 5th grade.

SUAR

Last Remnants of Vegas, I Promise

I loved my finish line video from the race. I loved it because I leapt (literally) over the finish line at :10 seconds into the video and did not even notice the girl puking beside me! (Girl in white shirt at :07. Poor thing!). I’m glad me and my vomit phobia did not notice. It’s called emetophobia in case you were wondering. Check it out HERE (be sure you are looking at the finish line video because there are two).

Most of all, I liked this picture of me. I think it’s good form to run with your arms spread wide so you can take up as much room as possible on a crowded course.

If you by chance thought I was kidding or exaggerating about the crowds in Vegas, eat your heart out – these are post-race conditions in the hotel. Or maybe all these people are waiting to grab coffee at Starbucks (photos stolen from Skinny Runner’s blog).

I am glad there was not a fire. There would not have been any room to stop, drop and roll like I learned in third grade.

I will end with Biggest Loser impressions (spoiler alert):

• I completely disagree with Antone. It is NOT possible to get a good workout in with your entire family at the gym.
• I’m with Dolvett (of course). John is going to have a harsh adjustment to “real” life once this is all over and he’s back to work. Not sure why his wife is doing everything for him.
• Courtney really held her own at the marathon. I was impressed.
• Jess kept up. Those stomach cramps slowed her down, however. I’m pretty sure she had an accident, SUAR style.
• What the hell with that wind storm? That would have been enough for me to get into a fetal position on the course.
• If Bonnie didn’t drop out, she would have won the whole thing. Blubbering, crying.
• I hate how Dr. H walked backwards while talking to the contestants at they ran. He should have run beside them. It was awkward.
• I can’t believe they pulled that dude out of the marathon at mile 21. I know there were medical issues (bone on bone or whatever), but he’s made it this far, let him finish even if it means crawling.
• OMG just shoot me if I have have to run that course through the mud caked desert. AWFUL!
• Got to give it to Ramon. But, still don’t see him and Jess together. Just my two cents.
• I think John’s going to win this whole thing.

Any impressions from TBL? Were you surprised Ramon won? Who will be picking confetti out of their hair?

Do you freak out in crowds or are you able to roll with it? I don’t like crowds, but I keep pretty calm unless I need the bathroom or someone is pushing me. Then I get feisty.

SUAR

Rock ‘n Roll Las Vegas 2011 Race Report

To start, I want to thank Refuel with Chocolate Milk for sponsoring me for this race weekend. Not only did I enjoy meeting my team mates (Skinny Runner, Runners Rambles, Hungry Runner Girl, Run Like a Mother Ladies, Run Eat Repeat) but working with Refuel was so effortless. I’ve been chugging chocolate milk after workouts for recovery for the past year, so it was a perfect fit to work with Refuel and to endorse a product I believe in.

Did I tell you the race started at 5:30 pm? This means no early wake up calls or struggles to get out that first dump of the day. It does mean, however, that while you have all day to make sure you clean the pipes, you also have  all day to obsess about the race.

I got my Team Refuel outfit all laid out:

Skirt: Mums Noir Running Skirt from Running Skirts
Shirt: Sweetest Tee Running Shirt from Skirt Sports
Arm Warmers: Pearl Izumi Thermal Lite Arm Warmers from REI.com
Capris: Reflective WorkItOut Knicker from Athleta 

I really like the way Refuel did the outfits. I was asked to select what I wanted to wear and they put their logo on it. Win-win!

We then spent the rest of the day looking for pancakes. That’s what I wanted for a bigger meal before the race. There was only one option:

I was a bit scared I would regret this grand slam. I only ate the eggs and about half of the pancakes. I knew the sausage would haunt me the whole run, so I left those itty bitty wieners on the plate.

During breakfast the couple beside us asked why the hell I was taking pictures of my food. I told them that I was a famous food writer and they could have my autograph if they wanted. We got to talking. Five minutes into the conversation I had one of those TMI moments. You know me, I am not a prude, but I am selective about when I bring TMI to the conversation. You have to know when your audience can handle it. The dude I was talking to told me he had had gastric bypass a few months ago and he was still only having one bowel movement a week. Yes, he told me that. Maybe that is why I didn’t finish my food.

Finally time to go. Met up with Aron, Page and Marjorie to head to the start.

I got to corral #4 as it was getting dark. It was a madhouse, pretty typical for the start of a Rock and Roll race.  I kind of liked the crowd because everyone’s body warmth and bad breath kept me toasty. I used my cheetah Walgreen’s blanket as a skirt until I had to give up my down coat.

Race started promptly and I was off and running by 5:32 p.m. I usually start slower, but I was so ready to get going I blasted out of the gate. I felt like I was flying for the first few miles, and I think there were all around 8 min/miles. I had very little congestion in my corral. It was not crowded, I had plenty of room. I later learned this was not the case for the later corrals, but mine was great. I had my music pumping and I was taking in the lights and energy along the Strip. It was invigorating to be running at night in a city that I had never seen from this perspective. You have to admit this is SUPER WAY AMAZING COOL:

I hit the 5K at 25 minutes. I cruised along, feeling great. No aches or pains. I silently praised Matt (Handled with Care Massage) who does my active release therapy. I think he saved me for this race. And, hopefully for many races to come.

I got to the 10K at 50 minutes. Almost halfway, I was still feeling good. I had a vanilla Power Bar gel (my favorite for both taste, texture and consistency. They are so runny, they go down easy). I saw a dude running in front of me with a huge load in his tights. I don’t me a “load” as in male prowess. I mean “load” as in EWWWW!!!

At about mile 8, as we headed back up the Strip, my insides started revolting a bit. This distracted me and I slowed. I looked everywhere for a porta potty and guess what? There were NONE. At least none that I could see. Even at the aid stations I could not find one. I clenched and hoped for the best. Then in full disclosure because that’s what I do, I crapped my pants just a tad. Dammit.

I hit the 10 mile around 1:22. I knew I was in the home stretch. I started to feel fatigued and realized that I was kind of under trained for this one. Due to injury, I’d only been doing 15-20 miles per week, with my longest run at 10 miles. I haven’t done speed work in ages. No duh I was fading.

I crossed the finish in 1:49:28.

Overall: 2,237/ 33,123 · Division: 93/3,600 · Gender: 584/21,051.

I was okay with that. I was still in the top 2% for my division and gender. Not my best showing and a few minutes off my PR of 1:46. But, I’ll take it.

Once I crossed the finish it was a cluster f%ck of people. I ran for 13 miles then, BAM, I was at a standstill with a million others. My stomach immediately started cramping. I pushed through, grabbed some water and my medal (which I’m glad I got because I heard they actually ran out of them for the runners who came in later. Are you KIDDING me??), skipped the food and made it to a porta potty. I was feeling pretty crappy and starting to get really cold. It was windy.

I found my team mates and Refuel gave me a big bottle of chocolate milk. I tried to get a few sips down. I started to really freeze and bid my team mates goodbye. Erika and I headed into Mandalay Bay for some warm tea and to find a cab. I knew the shuttles would be a nightmare.

(Runners Rambles, me, Hungry Runner Girl, Skinny Runner)

This is my mad, hard core face. I’ll take you down.

This is when the fun began.

We waited in the cab line for 90 minutes. I was FREEZING and not feeling well. I didn’t have any food, but don’t think I could have eaten anyway. I just wanted to get back to my hotel for a warm shower and my post-race ritual of putting my feet up, calming my stomach and getting warm. I hid out in some corner while Erika stood in line. We finally got to the front of the line. Lots of people were not doing well: shivering, sick. We saw several stretchers come into the lobby. I heard stories of people passing out. One guy approached us upset and sick saying he couldn’t find the shuttle and had no money. He was so ill and so cold he was almost incoherent. We invited him into our cab. We also invited in a mom and her daughter who were also not doing so hot.

I thought once we were in the cab, we’d be good to go. Nope. 20 minutes after getting in, we were still in the driveway of Mandalay Bay. Nothing was moving. The Strip was still closed. The meter read $15 and we’d barely gone a few feet. The guy we brought in was sick and I knew if he threw up I would have a panic attack (I have this vomit phobia thing). Erika and I decided to get out of the cab (my idea – not a good one), go back inside for a drink and try the cab line again after the Strip opened.

This is me in the bar. I am wrapped in several mylars I borrowed from people in the bar, freezing my ass off. My knees are actually pulled up into my chest, but you can’t really tell. Erika thought I looked legless. And, a bit peakid, sickly.

An hour later the cab line was twice as long. SHIT. People were much worse off by this point. We walked through the lobby to see a girl in a stretcher and another girl puking into a trash can. People were laying around everywhere. Total refugee zone.

We decided to go next door to the Four Seasons to see if things were any better. It was like walking into first class from coach. Serene, warm, calm. The guy handling the taxis told us we’d be second in line for a cab. He said, “Go sit down by the fire. I will come get you. Would you like some water?”

We waited for about an hour, until midnight. By this time I had been done racing for 4.5 hours. Then WE GOT A CAB and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.

Back at the Venetian, we stopped for dinner. I tried to get down some soup, but couldn’t eat. I just felt so sick. I blame it on the poor conditions post race because I’ve never felt this bad this long after a race. We had plans of going out for a nice dinner and doing some gambling, but at 1:30 a.m. and an early flight to catch, all we could do was go to bed.

Here’s what sucks. I thought the race itself was a blast. I was already planning on coming back to run it again with Ken. But the post race situation was so crappy, I don’t know that I can revisit this one unless there are some big changes. I noticed the race took a huge hit on their Facebook page yesterday.

I still will end on a positive note. Race weekend was a blast. You can read about it HERE, HERE and HERE. I got to meet so many bloggers who I’d never met in person. I’ve decided that running bloggers are an exceptionally nice breed (I like to think it’s because we run and that makes us better people. Thereby proving that running makes everything better).  I won $200. I spent time with good friends. I laughed so much I almost peed myself several times, just like the guy next to me on the plane. I learned about someone’s pooping habits in Denny’s. I got to run on the Strip at night in Vegas. And, I have a great story to tell my grandchildren about the time I was stranded after a race and almost died (it’s important to embellish).

Moral of the story: Stay at the Four Seasons.

SUAR

Refuel Your Body

Today’s run: 10 miles in 1:28 (8:48 avg)

I loved every stinking thing about today’s run from the 19 degree start temp to the coyote who crossed our paths to the gift I left in the dirt (at least I was kind enough to cover it with a tumbleweed). By far the best part of the 10 miles was how great I felt. Now that my body has less pain, I am able to run more effortlessly. This is a gift beyond words. You have no idea how happy it makes me. Or, maybe you do. It takes so long to come back from injury and it can be so debilitating mentally and physically. When you can finally run half way okay, it is reason to celebrate.

I think I owe my life to Matt at Handled with Care Massage Therapy. His active release work is doing the trick.

Out on the run: there goes Ken trying to ditch me, or maybe he’s just gunning for that porta potty at the bottom of the hill. (Yes, my phone camera sucks. But, 15 years ago I would have been carrying a huge Polaroid camera and that would have sucked worse).

See if you can pick out my coyote friend. Hint:  he looked nothing like this:

.

I think turquoise is my color. It accentuates my large breasts.

This was my last longer run before the Rock ‘n Roll Vegas half marathon next weekend. I got my running gear in the mail a couple of days ago from the Team Refuel folks. It is seriously the coolest. I am going to do my best to not soil it. I love the “Refuel Your Body” logo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A lot of people ask me what the big deal is about drinking chocolate milk. I’ll tell you why I like it so much. After I run, I never feel like eating. Chocolate milk is the quickest and easiest way for me to get the right amount of protein, carbs and calories for recovery right away post-run (8g protein,  24g carbs, 150 cals per 8 oz). It’s also got potassium, calcium and magnesium.

I don’t drink it after every workout. I usually drink it for workouts that are greater than one hour and are fairly rigorous. You don’t have to buy any particular brand of chocolate milk – I get the cheapest low-fat, one gallon jug from my local grocery store. 

Here’s what the research says about chocolate milk:

“Low-fat chocolate milk contains high-quality protein to help repair and rebuild muscles after strenuous exercise. It’s also been shown to help athletes tone up – gain more lean muscle and lose fat – compared to drinking a carb-only drink.”

Did you run/race today?

If you have been injured and returned to running, have you been able to pick up where you left off in terms of speed and endurance? I am slowly getting there. Even though I raced a lot this summer, I never felt like my running was back to where I was pre-stress fracture.

SUAR

Road Warrior

Today’s run: 9 miles in 1:21.

I was excited to get out the door. Probably because I wore fancy gloves.

Yes, it looks like I have a mini-penis. I assure you I do not.

Do not be jealous. You too could have these gloves for $.50 from Target. I don’t talk about Target a lot because as much as I love it, I try not to go there. Just walking in the door and I am $50 poorer. It never fails. Yet somehow going there, like going to Costco, puts me in a good mood.

Conversely, going to Wal-Mart puts me in a horrible mood and makes me think the world is going to shit. It is the ongoing Target vs. Wal-Mart debate and Target will always win out for me. Maybe it is because you see a lot of this sort of thing at Wal-Mart, and I don’t care for it:

I swear I never see crap like that at Target. I’m not being uppity, it just hasn’t happened. Yet. 

Back to the run. It was stinking freezing when I set out. 25 degrees. Slightly overcast. I was going into the wind on the way out and I thought my face might fall off. My snot froze to my flaring nostrils. I ran along this road towards the foothills.

I passed this grave.

I don’t know who Cinnamon is. Person? Dog? Doesn’t matter, this being was LOVED.  I used to have a guinea pig named Cinnamon but I don’t think she was buried here.

At the halfway mark I had some watermelon GU Chomps, stretched out my ass and headed for home. I passed a bunch of peacocks which was totally random. I think they are lost because they are a long way from their homeland of Sri Lanka or India. I wanted to tell them, but I don’t speak Sinhala.

It was  decent run. Not perfect in terms of pain (I had some stiffness in the last three miles), but leaps and bounds from where I was four weeks ago. Plus, my pace was about 30 seconds per mile faster than on my 8 miler last week, and that was without trying in the least. I came home and chugged some chocolate milk while rolling on the foam roller. Good to go!

I do think the active release work with Matt is really working. I have also been doing yoga at least twice per week. I like to do the sweaty crack aka Bikram yoga - I think that helps to keep my muscles loose and supple.

So, the Rock n Roll Vegas half (2 weeks from today) starts at 5:30 p.m This is not my normal run time and I never have run a race at night. If I was smart like some people I would be doing my long runs in the evenings to get ready. But, I’m not. I just don't want to. I figure I’ll wing it on that day and hope for the best.

My toughest challenge will be to watch what I eat that day I figure if I have a huge plate of Mexican food at about 3pm I’ll be golden. What’s a SUAR race without a porta potty or squat story?

I am getting excited for the race. For all of the times I’ve been to Vegas (way too many to count), I’ve never run the Strip at night. I’m also excited to be working with the Chocolate Milk campaign as a Team Refuel Road Warrior. SUAR the Warrior. Has a nice ring to it. Be very afraid.

For more info on the science behind why chocolate milk rules after a long workout, look HERE. Basically, you’re getting the perfect ratio of carbs to protein for recovery and helping to build leaner muscle mass. Hello! Who doesn’t want that?

Which do you prefer to shop at, Wal-Mart or Target?

Ever run an evening or night race? How do you recommend eating/fueling during the day of the race?

Do you do the sweaty crack version of yoga? I’ve been doing it for about two years now. Love it. Something about the sweat and the intense heat. Maybe I should move to the equator.

SUAR

PS: Check back tomorrow for the SUAR Christmas shopping extravaganza! There will be a long sleeve tech shirt (with a new design) and a couple other new stocking stuffer items.

Not a Dumb as Sh!t Athlete (DASA)

Today’s workout involved 3 miles on the treadmill at a 3% incline, then an hour of yoga. I then headed down  to see Matt Schaub at Handled with Care Massage for my second active release session. I told him I am gumby, I am running pain free, I am invincible. No, no. I am not those things. Once I start thinking I am those things, that is when I get injured. Bad SUAR. DASA SUAR (Dumb As Shit Athlete).

My body is not perfect (unless you like small boobs and a flat ass), there is still some discomfort and achiness, but I am encouraged because the pain is much less. I am beginning to feel “normal”again when I run.  This is a huge improvement. So, if you’re dealing with an injury and are in the Denver area - run (if you can) to see Matt. You won’t be disappointed.

Look! This doesn’t hurt. Is that gum on the bottom of my slipper?

The Las Vegas Rock ‘n Roll Marathon and Half Marathon is only 19  days away, but who is counting? This won’t be my best showing in terms of race times, I can promise you that, but I it will be my funnest. And, yes, funnest is a word and so is funner, so get off my back. I know I’ll be in good company with Jason, EMZ, Aron, Sarah, Jess, Marjorie, Janae and lots of others. The great thing about having a blog where you tell all your secrets is that when you meet new people, they already know everything. Nice breaking the ice. Basically it goes likes this:

Me: Hi! Nice to meet you! (explosive fart)

Them: Hey! You are just like you are on the blog! (waving hand in front of face, backing away)

Another cool thing about Vegas is that I will be spokesperson for the Refuel with Chocolate Milk/Got Milk? campaign. This basically means getting the word out throughout the weekend about the benefits of low fat chocolate milk after a tough workout. Want to know more? Click HERE.

I’ve been with Team Refuel for a few months now and they’ve supported me in doing several races and have given me many other cool opportunities.  For me, working with Team Refuel is a no brainer. I’ve long been a fan of chocolate milk as a recovery tool, so to pair up with these guys is a match well made. You can find them on Facebook HERE.

At the Georgetown to Idaho Springs Half Marathon

Other Refuel friends: Hugh Williams (@Runner Bloke), Running Yogini, and me.

Are you a chocolate milk fan after a tough workout? (There is a lactate-free version, you know). Around here we buy it by the gallon. I love the stuff. But I don’t drink it unless my workouts are greater than an hour and have been fairly strenuous.

Who will go from the Biggest Loser tonight? Please let it be Bonnie. Please let it be Bonnie.

SUAR

Do You Sit Down?

It is too soon to tell if I am out of the woods yet, but 8 miles felt great today. I had very little pain the whole time, just the occasional twinge that would send waves of passing paranoia. This was probably the best “longer” run I have had in months.  Ken even joined me but I warned him I was going to be slow and I didn’t want any complaining. There would be no smart ass comments like, “You’re so slow I bet it takes you two hours to watch ‘60 Minutes’!”

He was very kind and stuck with the snail’s pace. I was glad to have him along to document some things:

I do think the ART work that Matt is doing is making a huge difference. I also think all the rest, rolling and stretching isn’t hurting either. Vegas, here I come. I might be slow as Mario Lopez in NY, but I will be running.

So, I’d like to take a little survey. I was with some girlfriend on Friday night. Over wine and Izze/vodka cocktails, one friend mentioned that her husband pees sitting down. Another friend says her boyfriend sometimes does too. This was news to me. I really had no clue men peed sitting down. Ever. I can understand if you have to take a dump, you might sit down and pee before you poop. But I never knew some men just went in to pee and did not stand up. When you sit, I am guessing you have to do some tucking down of the junk to ensure a non-splatter pee.

I wonder what these guys do at urinals. Can you sit in those? I guess you can!

If you are a dude, do you ever pee standing up?

If you are a female, does your guy ever pee standing up?

I learn something new every stinking day. First it was that you can put your yoga mat in the washer. Then it was that some men pee sitting down. What’s next?

SUAR

Need Your Input

I got my hair cut today. I’m forever being told my hair is dried out, tangley, damaged, you name it. I always act like I don’t know how that happened, but really it’s because I don’t give a crap. I go swimming then don’t rinse it out for five hours. I yank it up into a ponytail and stick it into a hat for days on end. I don’t condition or moisturize or spritz or glaze or clarify like you're supposed to. Getting my hair cut is like going to the dentist – I always get a lecture about what I’m doing wrong or not doing. I only have myself to blame.

Confession: While I do sort of care about my appearance, it’s only to a point. I’ve never been very fussy with make up and clothes and body piercings and shoes and things. My mom isn’t either. One of my least favorite things to do is take a shower and get ready. I hate it. There, I said it. I only do it at all because I smell and need a good cleaning after a few workouts.

So, today, I am turning over a new leaf with these products. Maybe they will help my neck too.

• I promise to clarify after every swim.
• I promise to alternate shampoos.
• I promise to use a heat protectant before blow drying, curling or flat ironing.
• I promise to not color my hair for a couple more months and let it heal.
• I promise to take control of my hair and make it better.

She did a good job of cleaning me up, though, after she lectured me. Still a work in progress.

Enough about the hair. At least I’m not talking pubes. I’ll save that for another day.

If you are making your race/trip/vacation plans for the rest of this year, consider this: The Urban Running Blogger Summit in Vegas on December 3. Yes, this is the weekend of the Vegas Rock ‘n Roll Marathon (on purpose). The race is going to be run at night for the first time ever.

This conference is being put on Skinny Runner and the Squires Group. I’ve been asked to be a speaker, along with some of your favorite bloggers. I’m hoping to do this, but still need to figure out logistics and expenses. What the hell with the fact that the early bird entry fee is $140 marathon/$130 half marathon? What are they going to do? Give everyone their own personal ho (no minimalist hoes please)?

I’m hoping to run at least the half marathon if I can come up with $130 bucks. Praying I don’t take a wrong turn down an alley and get violated. On the plus side, running in the dark is always good for someone like me who is prone to accidents, if you know what I mean. After all, you can’t see brown in the dark.

So consider it.

And, humor me for a moment. If you WERE to attend such a conference and you WERE to come to hear me talk (in my wildest dreams), what would you most want to hear me talk about?

• Injury and recovery?
• My favorite toilet paper brand?
• Balancing motherhood and working with training?
• Running while you are getting really old?
• How to start running and training for your first endurance race?
• Nothing related to running. Just potty mouth and cussing.

I’m trying to get a feel for subjects people really give a crap about.

So do tell.

SUAR