Friday, January 21, 2011

All About the Nuts

I should probably change the title of this blog to Shut Up and Rehab, (thanks, Rick!), but whatever. Yesterday I was in the pool running for 53 minutes (not that I’m counting minutes). Today the bike trainer and I had a date for 62 minutes. I’ll top it off with 60 minutes of yoga tonight. After a village of massage therapists, physical therapists, yogis, doctors and blog encouragers, the hip is feeling a bit looser. Progress!

I also got a free Starbucks for waiting in line so long, a dollar off at the wine store for knowing the cashier and a boatload of Athleta stuff in the mail. Life could be worse. Way worse:


(the design to the right is what’s on the jacket)

Moving on. I noticed a theme going on around here. If you don’t remember what a theme is from high school English class you’re a moron - a theme in literary terms is, “an implicit or recurrent idea.”

The implicit or recurrent idea I am facing this week is nuts. If you prefer, you can say balls, but no teabags allowed here.

Nut #1:

I struggle with breakfast. Nothing ever seems to satisfy. Eggs give me the runs. I get looked down on if I eat donuts. Oatmeal is just that – oatmeal. And don’t get me started on toast. I finally found my new favorite breakfast, and it is this:


I know. They are so 70s. Grape Nuts have been around since I was a fetus. I’m pretty sure they were served on the Mayflower. That was the best joke ever.


I can’t eat just an ordinary bowl of Grape Nuts because it hurts my jaw. Way too much crunching going on, and certainly not a grab-and-go kind of thing. Ever tried to eat a bowl of Grape Nuts quickly? It’s impossible. My solution has been to warm up my nuts.

1/2 cup Grape Nuts
1/3 cup milk
1 t brown sugar

Put into a bowl and microwave for 1 minute. You get nice, soft, warm nuts. That’s what she said.

Nut #2:

My brother is coming to town next weekend from D.C. My nephews are determined that we will all go out for Rocky Mountain Oysters. I have no problem with that. I love a good entrée of deep fried bull testicles. You could deep fry a dog wiener and it would taste good too.

Nut #3:

This week it was Ken’s birthday. He turned 21 (plus 24).

He doesn’t ask for much, so when he mentions an item he might want, I pay attention.

This month Runner’s World reviewed some classy underwear - the Men's O Series BoxerJock® 3" Bottoms by Under Armour.  Ken said he wanted some pairs. I know not why these are called the “O” series, but if the “O” refers to that kind of “O” then these should be selling like hotcakes. Guaranteed “O” with purchase. (Ken loves these by the way. That’s my review).


In trying to find these babies, I did the logical thing and went to the Under Armour website. That’s when things got a bit pornographic. Nuts/package galore:


Hello supersize! I mean, seriously? What crawled in there, a softball?  A rocky mountain oyster or two? And who modeled for this? (keep the Kovas jokes to yourself).

My questions for you. Please answer all or none:

  1. Ever had Rocky Mountain oysters? What types of testicles were they? Prairie dog, sheep, bull, Under Armour?
  2. Do you use a specific workout when you’re on the trainer?
  3. What’s your go-to favorite breakfast food?

Going nuts,



  1. 60 minutes of yoga or 59 minutes of yoga? Be honest...

  2. Banana cut up like cereal. Walnuts and coconut flakes with almond milk on top. Delicious. I hate the trainer and I'm intrigued by edible nuts but so far haven't had the opportunity to try them.

  3. My go to breakfast is usually eggs, but I haven't been feeling them to much lately. I need to get back on that. I also am doing steel cut oats. They don't leave me as hungry as regular oatmeal, or sometimes greek yogurt with mixins.

  4. 1. Ever had Rocky Mountain oysters? What types of testicles were they? Prairie dog, sheep, bull, Under Armour?
    ---Nope, but I'd try them at least once.
    2. Do you use a specific workout when you’re on the trainer?
    3. What’s your go-to favorite breakfast food?
    ---Nothing. My stomach doesn't agree with food until around noon anyway, so I skip breakfast. And somehow manage to not eat four billion calories for lunch, like all the magazines tell me I will.

  5. "Ever eat a pine tree? Some parts ARE edible!" What was that guy's name? Euell Brenner or some such thing.

    You go on with your badass Grape-Nuts... I'll keep eating my oatmeal cooked in rice dream with raisins ... makes it fancy ;-)

    I prefer not to eat testicles, so no RMO for me.
    I am not coordinated enough to use a bike trainer, so no workout ideas from here.

  6. Falling out of my chair looking at the UA picture! It's like a Chris K/Kovas throwdown gone bad.

    I LOVE breakfast. Could eat it all day long. I like my old lady high fiber cereals (Barbara's shredded oats are a fav) and also love oatmeal with almond butter and bananas in it.

  7. All breakfasts leave me starving by 10. So I either skip it and have brunch at 10 or jus have two breakfasts.

  8. Seriously what happened to that dude in the UA or better yet should I be yelling at my parents for their genes and what is in my jeans?

    Breakfast is usually thin toast with a little PB and a sliced banana.

    When I get back from my workout it will consist of granola with soymilk and TONS of fruit. Go to the Athlete's Plate on FB and see a pic of what I ate in the car one day.

    If I am crazy it will be OatFit oatmeal which is the best oatmeal I have ever had and TONS of fruit.

    Sometimes though I will have a shart brownie....these are made with garbanzo beans or black beans so you know the shart is FO'REALZ!!!!!

  9. You beat me to the Kovas joke! Balls.

    I'm also fairly certain that man not only has a softball, but also a tube sock stuffed down his pants....if you know what I mean :p

  10. 1. yes - Bull
    2. yes, I have several
    3. Eggs and Bacon (I don't eat grains - lol)

  11. "My solution is to warm up my nuts."

    Literally. Dying. Laughing.

    I'm a huge english muffin, soynut butter, banana, and honey person. Don't worry - I'm not trying to be a health guru with the soynut butter, I'm just allergic to nuts and would rather not start my days off with a swollen throat. :)

    My other go to is Chobani greek yogurt tossed with a handful of cereal (usually cheerios, Kashi something, etc.), lots of berries, banana, and honey. Both are pretty filling and good!

  12. Oh my gosh, I just snorted diet coke out my nose when I saw THAT picture. Wow. That model is awfully proud of his underpants, no?

    I am a half of a bagel with pb and grapefruit sections kinda girl for breakfast. With half a pot of coffee. Duh. I love eggs, too, though. They just seem way too complicated when the sun has not even risen.

  13. no cooked testicles for me. i prefer attached. OMG to the under armour picture. that is insane and awesome all at once.

    as far as the trainer-i don’t ride but my boyfriend is a triathlete and he has a video that he does that came with his trainer.

    breakfast is boring oatmeal. but i fancy it up with cinnamon, honey, ground flax, walnuts and either pumpkin or blueberries depending on the season. that way it doesn’t taste like oatmeal.

  14. Oh my - that is a package!

    No trainers or bullfrog testicles for me. But my go-to breakfast is mini-wheats or oats+yogurt+fruit. Delish.

  15. Holy nut. Love the pictures of the male undies. Makes my Friday bright :)

  16. Oatmeal with peanut butter in it. Almost everyday. Boring yes but I'm too busy and still asleep to think of anything fabulous in the morning.

  17. Good God! They must have stuffed a canteloupe in there. Or a baby.

    I eat the breakfast of champions...Rocky Mountain Oysters. Duh.

  18. I don't comment much{or at all:)}but I have to tell you my go to breakfast when I am trying to be good is oatmeal but when I run, I run for donuts, cinnamon rolls, muffins and all those other delicious breakfast pastries out there.

  19. breakfast food, I like nut butter banana wraps. Oh look at that, I already mentioned nuts. Ha!
    Trainer sessions are the best if you have spinervals by troy jacobs. CHeck 'em out.

  20. I have the same thing for breakfast almost every day. Whole wheat English muffin with dried cranberries and crunch peanut butter. But not Under Armour nut butter. I think that's genetically modified.

  21. Ahaahaaa! Ok I tried to read the post but then I got lost in the pictures of the underwear... Thanks for the laugh!

  22. Strangely enough I have testicles for breakfast! It doesn't really matter what sort. I'm not picky...

  23. 1. Never had them, but when I was in college, a local bar with the bestest mircobrew beer selection hosted the annual Testicle Festival. It was rumored they served Rocky Mountain oysters of the bull variety, but it may have just been a bunch of frat boys trying to get laid.
    2. yes, it is the "Dear Lord, please let this 30 minutes go by as fast as possible" workout.
    3. Pre-run (sorry) banana AND Larabar or toast with PB. Post-run or non-run days: Kashi GO Lean Cereal. yummsters.

  24. PS. All male crotches don't look like that?

  25. 1 - No.
    2- Yes, if my coach gives me one, otherwise no.
    3- Granola with 4 different kinds of nuts on top, banana or cranberries, pumpkin seeds, and flax seeds added.

  26. As a general rule, I don't eat testicles.

    And I certainly don't eat them for breakfast :)

    Breakfast is always stressful for me because I need to eat more protein and less carbs. Lately I have been eating a homemade protein shake (with almond milk, fruit, and protein powder) AND turkey breast sandwich on sandwich thins bread (so it's kind of like a healthy bagel sandwich)

  27. I got my husband those same underwear and he loves them!! By the way, you can get then at Dick's sporting goods if you don't want to mess with paying for shipping online.
    1. I've never had them and never will!
    2. Spinervals are awesome!
    3. I like grape-nuts too. One of my favorite breakfasts is putting 1/2C rolled oats, cinnamon, sliced banana, raisins, soymilk, and raw sugar in a bowl then putting it in the microwave for 1:30. Then, I put a scoop of peanut butter on it and it melts into it! Yum!

    I've also started eating sweet potats for breakfast. Weird, but so good! Take one sweet potato and slice it in half. Put it in the microwave for 8 minutes. When you take it out, scoop some almond butter on it with cinnamon and raisins, and maybe some nuts! It is soooo yummy!

  28. Wow...what was the question? My eyes are fixated on the massive junk above!

  29. Baked oatmeal! Eggs, soy milk and fruit and SOMETIMES almond butter in the oatmeal. Add in whey protein and I'm in HEAVEN!!!!

  30. I never comment anymore ) ; Sorry. However I have to tell you I used to always eat grape nuts that way. YUM YUM

  31. First, the design on your jacket looks like a really artistic version of the vagina diagram you posted the other day.

    second, bull balls.

    Third, granola with bananas and yogurt.

  32. I ate a Luna bar almost everyday for breakfast because I'm lazy, but I can still say that I ate something for breakfast.

    And I'm jealous of all your sweet new clothes. Wanna share? :-P

  33. Love the new gear! super super cute!!!

    I love eating yogurt and a special K bar for breakfast! mmm

  34. I love my UA underwear. It's what I run in and love them! Don't care if you can see my nuts! :)

  35. love the new outfits! werk it...werk it..werk iiiit! =D

    Re go-to brekky, I love peanut butter on toast with bananas. I also like oatmeal with frozen blueberries and raspberries with a teaspoon of flaxseed =)

  36. Wow--I am loving your the clothes! IF UA can guarantee an "O", then I buying stock in it.

    What were those models smuggling? Squirrels?

    Breakfast = oatmeal or Greek yogurt and frzn fruit.

  37. I LOVE Grapenuts - even Grapenuts flakes... or just a protein shake gets me through til lunch...

    and love the new clothes!

  38. We match!! I got the same top (the black and white one) from my awesome secret santa this year.

    I am a toddler when it comes to food, in that I'll have the same thing every day for months and then change to something totally different for a few more months. I'm currently on a Kashi honey almond flax cereal kick.

  39. I'm new to your blog & am laughing so hard there are tears! I'm also dealing with a hip injury and with 5 weeks to go unitl Disney Princess Half marathon... my PT has just allowed me to jump on the trampoline for a whole 2 minutes! So frustrating but trying to be a good patient... I know I will somehow finish the half marathon... it just won't be pretty! Good luck with your progress... I'm really jealous of your 8 minutes of running!

  40. Rolling, yes rolling on the floor laughing!

    Yes, I've tried turkey and bull...I liked the turkey, very small mostly flour coating. :)

    Breakfast...oatmeal, made all different ways but always with an egg white for some protein, some flax and chia seeds. Then mix in whatever I feel like, preserves, peanut butter, cranberries, pumpkin...and the list goes on and on...

    On the trainer I've been doing the winter maintenance program from Beginning Triathlete and they have different workouts that keep it interesting.

  41. Other Shawn Here,

    1. Not a chance in hell
    2. No trainer (underwear or otherwise)
    3. 1/2 Cantaloupe, yogurt with cut up banana,strawberry, blueberry, cup o java. Can you say CLEANER!!!!!!!

  42. There's a condition - scrotal elephantiasis (Google it). The model must have been to Africa.

  43. I wish I was a chick so I could wear some of that Athleta sportswear and make Kate the lesbian vegan runner fall in love with me.

    1. I ate sheep's balls at a Persian restaurant in Brussels
    2. I don't bike
    3. Oatmeal and crunchy p.b. will be getting me a BQ in 15 days


    1. I'm the "Anthony Bourdain" of Alabama, and I draw the line at testicles. Especially dead, fried ones.
    2. Best food advice, courtesy of my great-grandmother, who was crazy as loon: Breakfast as a King, Lunch as a Prince, and Dinner as a pauper. (insert your own gender-specific titles as you wish). I think breakfast has to do w/ your running schedule. Mine changes throughout the yr because Im a teacher. I pretty much run in the evenings during the school yr, but in the summer I eat MUCH differently. When I run in the a.m., I eat a bagel and a little fruit. Usually, I eat a big breakfast, and listen to my cravings first thing in the morning, I snack on nuts and berries during the day, eat a smallish lunch, and a little dinner (okay, w/ wine).
    3. Ridiculous doesn't begin to describe the insanely endowed underwear model. Crazy-go-nuts.
    4. Grape Nuts are fabulous. Granola-hipster.

  45. If you soak those Grape Nuts in the milk for about a 1/2 hour, they turn soggy - and yummy. It's the only way I can eat my Kashi Go Lean cereal everyday that I don't eat my oh-so-blah oatmeal (for a dash of excitment in my life, I add cinammon to it. I know how to live!).

    That man needs 4 of Kovas' how KP will be envious!

  46. I do look pretty good, right? That because I do 61 minutes of yoga.

  47. Now that is a package that needs to be unwrapped!

    My sister went to a Testicle Festival in South Bend, NE last year. She tried to eat a deep fried bull's ball but said it was too chewy.

    There's a politician in the UK who's name is Ed Balls. He just replaced the former Shadow Chancellor who's name is Johnson. I love this country.

  48. I HAVE NO IDEA what Rocky Mountain Oysters are.. I'm clueless, nor can I answer the next question!! I do love eggs! I can eat them everyday..

  49. No oysters of any kind here. I lead a sheltered life.
    Breakfast of choice? Protein shake if I worked out, greek yogurt if not.
    I had no clue they still made Grape Nuts.
    Holy package Batman--I'm thinking allergic reaction.

  50. I am horrified that there is such a food product as fried testicles. It matters not what male animal they come from...I am gaggging at the thought and surprised any man would eat at a restaurant that served them....who knows, he could be next...

    Trainers and thanks. Ugh. I would rather watch Oprah. Course I have neither a treadmill nor a trainer so perhaps I would like it...but I doubt it.

    Breakfast and me...we share no love. Coffee. Period. And no one is to speak to me until I am through my first cup.

    Nice duds, btw...I may just have to check out their site...

  51. Too many nuts in one place for me. Warm nuts, cozy nuts, giant nuts. Ahhhhhhh... starting the weekend right.

  52. 1. No to eating testicles!
    2. Don't own a trainer - sad me.
    3. Go to breakfast ... Special K high protein cereal with yogurt. Yum.
    Gonna get my husband some of those under armor boxerjocks too!

  53. I like dinner food for breakfast. Salads. Steaks. Potatoes. That sort of thing. But I love breakfast food for dinner. Go figure.

    No, I have never tried Rocky Mountain Oysters, but I have watched quite a bit of frat boy hazing up at CB&Potts in Fort Collins over them. I always want to say, "The phrase is 'grow some', not 'eat some' you silly boys."

  54. Also, today's breakfast includes beer. Don't judge me. I got up at 2AM and tried to climb a mountain. I deserve it.

  55. Just read the tags/label for this post and almost peed my pants: "bull testicles"! It's one of the many reasons I love this blog so much! I drink a Slim Fast for breakfast because I hate eating breakfast, that would mean getting up 10 min earlier in the morning!

  56. Anytime you want to come visit KC we could go run side by side at

    and talk about our injuries! sounds splendid right?
    I found this as I am looking for a Dr to help me figure out what is wrong with my leg and ankle :(

  57. Wow! Wonder what type of workout that guy does.

  58. first that may actually have been the funniest joke ever and second, are those undies bullet proof too? cause literally nobody wants that injured. well, his...

  59. No, no and anything. Breakfast is my favorite meal and I love it in all of its incarnations! Glad the hip is feeling better!

  60. I love Grape Nuts and Quaker Oatmeal Squares for breakfast. Also love a bagel with cream cheese and peanut butter when I have to eat while running out the door to school/work.

    My brain is too full of mush after seeing the UA picture to remember the other question. All I could think about was breakfast and banana nut oatmeal. ;)

  61. I love toast topped with peanut butter and honey for breakfast.

    I received an Athleta catalog in the mail recently and was impressed by their merch. I really like their tattoo tanks.

  62. I ate rocky mountain oysters (bull) growing up in Texas. You put ketchup on anything fried and it tastes ALL RIGHT.

    And the UA picture above made me snort wine outta my nose.

  63. Go-to breakfast.. English muffin w/ peanut butter and a banana. Good car food for the commute to work. :D

  64. 1. Ever had Rocky Mountain oysters? What types of testicles were they? Prairie dog, sheep, bull, Under Armour?
    * Had them twice, don't really know what kind. Tasted like chicken.
    2. Do you use a specific workout when you’re on the trainer?
    - Don't use a trainer, I live in Arizona, the land of sunshine so I'm outside all the time :o)
    3. What’s your go-to favorite breakfast food?
    - Cereal with bananas or if I have time oatmeal with blueberries. It's the fruit that makes oatmeal good!

  65. P.S. love the Athleta stuff! That is my favorite catalog!

  66. No balls for me,
    WiiFit is my trainer!
    I like an apple and a power bar!

  67. 1. No nuts for me, either
    2. No trainer, just one morose PT who exists for the sole purpose of crushing my spirit.
    3. Trail Mix Crunch, all the way! It's made my Post and is sort of a hybrid Grape Nuts...the little crunchy bits are a tad easier to chew, though, and there are some raisins and almonds thrown in the mix. Very tasty hot or bowl powered me through my first half marathon with no need for any additional fuel.

  68. 1. No on the nuts, but I'm not opposed to trying them.
    2. No trainer
    3. Steelcut Oatmeal or a bagel if I'm doing a race or long training run.