Saturday, January 22, 2011

I Meant To Do That

Wow, all I can say about yesterday’s post is that you guys aren’t shy about nuts. In fact, you embrace them. Way to go ball-lovers!

Don’t get all fired up, but my hip is feeling so much better I might just attempt a run on Monday. 12 minutes. On land. It will not involve water or floatation devices or pussies. Just me and mother earth. I will not be texting while I run, because there is an inherent risk in doing such things. I mean, have you seen this video from earlier this week?

Apparently, this woman was texting while strolling in the mall and walked right into the fountain. Not an easy feat considering the fountain covers many square feet and has a short wall around it. I love how she gets right up and steps out of the fountain like nothing happened. As if to say, “Nothing to see here, I meant to do that.”

We have all had those I meant to do that moments. I had one last year when I fell of the treadmill. I also had one a couple years ago when my car got stuck underneath the arm that comes down when a train is coming. It kept smacking the top of my car and going back up. I couldn’t reverse because there was a car behind me. And, I couldn’t go forward because, well, duh, there was a train.

I actually have those I meant to do that moments every single day, sometimes more subtly than others. Just today I farted with my daughter’s piano partner in the car. It was silent, but horrific. (SBH). I couldn’t hide it, no matter how hard I tried. I’m sure this little pianist (best word ever because when you say it fast…well, you get it) will ask his mom to PU-LEEZ drive next time because Emma’s mom smells.

What’s your favorite I-meant-to-do-that moment? (IMTDTM)

Never going to run for public office,

SUAR

P.S. Both Kovas and Chris K. have rallied for my cause to raise $25,000 so I can buy an Alter-G anti gravity treadmill. Why donate to starving kids in Africa when you can give to the SUAR recovery fund? Thanks guys.

30 comments:

  1. Having my fourth kid! lol

    Nah...

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  2. Seriously though, I have them almost every day, too. The kitchen is the most common location of my I-meant-to-do-that-moments. They usually involve some sort of overcooking (well, I happen to LIKE overcooked food ;-) right? ) that winds up with a pan either turning black or something erupting into flames. I am not kidding. Last night was a good case in point.

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  3. Anderson Cooper had a nice bit about her because she want's to SUE! http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/bestoftv/2011/01/21/ac.ridiculist.texting.fountain.cnn.html

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  4. Hmm, since I have them pretty often I really can't pick a favorite. Unless it was when I was waiting tables (just out of high school) and I hit a slick spot on the tile floor and slid all the way across the room - in a skirt. With a tray of clean plates - which I managed to keep intact! Yay, me! But I did not keep the skirt intact, unfortunately!

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  5. I hit a street sweeper while driving down the street. Yep. One of those big trucks with flashing red lights and water spouting out of the side.

    Why didn't I see it? No clue. I was just out of high school and 17 years old. That's how I explain it :)

    But the driver didn't even know I hit him! So when I pulled over with the front of my car all smashed, he thought I was flirting. Nice.

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  6. I meant to do that is every time I have a conversation with somebody and the f word drops out. It is a part of my vocabulary and so I roll with it.

    Did you know that she is suing the mall for not coming to her aid fast enough?

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  7. Ha, I saw this video on the news last week!

    I had a related moment when I ran the Disney marathon 2 weeks ago. I was texting my family the entire time with no problem. Then, at mile 24, I tripped over a seam in the sidewalk and ate shit. Irony.

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  8. FYI, she is suing the mall because she says she slipped on a puddle into the fountain and is mad that no one came to help her. She is also claiming the fountain is a hazard and that it shouldn't have been there.

    http://video.foxnews.com/v/4505792

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  9. Ya I was watching a sports game while running on the treadmill and when they scored a touchdown I jumped.....not good......off I went like the idiot I am. :)

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  10. Driving while my wife is in the car... "Huh? West?? Of course we're going to California. Surprise!!! We're going to Disneyland not Target"

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  11. I ALWAYS bump my glass into my ginormous front teeth. Always. Whether a water glass or a wine glass, in private or in public...I never miss the teeth. I'm surprised I haven't broken one yet. It's really hard to play off...and my husband never lets me get away with it...he has to make a comment.

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  12. Hmmm.... I have caught the oven on fire while cooking (in my defense, it was when I had a newborn nursing about every 10 seconds day and night)... Flambe casserole! I, too, was texing while running (on a trail of all things--good story--my friend had stopped to take a dump in the woods right next to the trail and I was texting a warning to her that there were people coming) and tripped over the step at the entry to a wooden bridge. Bit it, but was just glad it wasn't a snake. Trail running + texting are really stupid.

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  13. I hope this fountain texting chick doesn't decide to sue you like the mal security dudes. :)

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  14. I see I have a sticking L key tonight!

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  15. Holy crap! I can't believe your car got stuck under the train warning thingy. Didn't know it was possible!

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  16. I have on several occasions bumped my forehead on the car window (passenger side) when I see something interesting.

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  17. I don't make mistakes. I'm perfect.

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  18. Unsurprisingly, my whole LIFE is a continuation of I meant to do that. Swearing, walking into things, walking off of things, (used to be) peeing my pants. Inappropriate farting, talking too loud, saying the wrong thing. I'm plenty of fun to have around!

    Ooooh, and if you listen to the voices on the video, she falls in at 4:20. Well then.

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  19. I was on a road trip with my girlfriends last year. The GPS said to turn right and I did immediately! Going the wrong way on a one way, I jumped the median in my Honda Fit, only to find out that I didn't need to turn there after all. Oops. IMTDT

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  20. SBH... awesome. A IMTDT moment would be riding up to my car (parked in a busy Jack in the Box lot) and putting my foot down to get off the bike. And then realizing I was still clipped in. Crash, no biggie.

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  21. I have such moments all the time, but perhaps my fave was when I was riding my bike and the front wheel fell between the bars on a sewer grate, throwing me over the handle bars. It just happened to be in front of a woman I'd been trying to impress (unsuccessfully) for some time. Miraculously, I did a somersault and landed on my feet. So I did what any guy would do... I shouted "Ta-da!" Just like that had been the plan all along.

    She was not amused.

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  22. I am a walking IMTDT . . .however,on the top of my list was when I was at a friend's pool this summer (very lovely setting, on the side of lookout mtn near Chattanooga, TN) when one of our lovable but dopey kids threw a new pool toy off the deck and down the mtn. To minimize the kid hysteria, we said we'd look for the thing. My friend did the wise move of walking all around the deck and down the mtn. Not me. I decided to JUMP off the deck in my bikini and flipflops, about a 4 ft jump. My foot slipped and I did 3 mid-air somersaults down the mtn before a grabbed a rock to stop the rolling. Yes, I could have killed myself. Yes, the bathing suit was ripped to shreds. However, I would have given anything to see a replay. The kids stood there googly-eyed and my friend and I laughed for about 30 minutes.

    We never found the damn pool toy.

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  23. Chris K is full of Sh&t....sorry Chris

    Ended up in the back of a 1/2 ton truck one time. Pedaling with my head down and the next thing I knew I was on my back going "What the hell was that?"

    And I could go on, and on, and on.......

    ps...why didn't you blame Emma for the gas? I do it to my kids all the time!!!

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  24. Turns out that woman has been out on bail for credit card fraud and for a hit and run. Looks like it's not the first time she did something stupid.

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  25. I'm always tripping, walking into walls & falling down. I guess you could say i'm clumsy?

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  26. Oh I thought that was YOU inthe mall. My bad.

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  27. Got your 'fear' comment…you are so lucky to not be at our house right now. It's been the most common activity going since early thurs morning :(

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  28. That fountain chick must have a pair of brass balls to 1) identify herself on national TV, and 2) Sue the mall, because she was laughed at.

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  29. Getting out of my car in the driveway at home, with the engine running AND the car in drive! Nothing like rolling your car into a perfectly good garage door-ouch.

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  30. Bahahaha, that video is classic!!!

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