Thursday, January 13, 2011

Licking Myself Like a Cat

What a morning. I’ve got a special story for you. I know how you love my special stories.
I got up early to go to my first physical therapy appointment in Boulder. I have never been to a PT before. What should I wear? How should I smell? I chose yoga pants. Black ones. I grabbed some coffee and a Clif Mojo bar (love those things), and headed out by 7:00 a.m., kids and husband still snug in their beds.

I was excited! PT will help me heal, recover, meet my goals.
On the way into town I dropped a piece of the Mojo bar. I worried a bit because these bars haveclifmojo chocolate chips in them and we all know what happens when a stray chocolate chip gets lodged in a warm place, like a crotch. It melts.
I couldn’t find the fallen piece, so I forgot about it. I stopped to get gas and while waiting for my tank to fill, I noticed a huge skid mark of chocolate on the front seat. “Shit.” I thought. “If chocolate is smeared on the seat, I can only imagine what my ass looks like.”

Sure enough I had a giant smear of chocolate, looking very much like the outcome of a shart, all across the seat of my pants going into the crotch. I know enough about physical therapy to know that my body would probably be maneuvered in all directions and mostly likely my ass and crotch would be seen. I panicked. I didn’t want the PT to think I had crapped my pants. Seriously, I didn’t.

Aha! I thought. I always carry a small thing of Huggies wipes for emergencies. Yes, those kind of emergencies. I’d just clean up that way. I grabbed the small packet of wipes out of my console only to find they were empty. I remembered Emma had used the last one to clean her hands before piano after she ate a huge glazed donut.

Shit. So, I did what every person in my situation would do. I propped my leg up on the seat (I’mcatlicking quite flexible), leaned way over so I could see between my legs,  licked my fingers and tried to wipe off the mess that way. I made some progress. It was about then I realized that several people also pumping their gas were staring. It occurred to me I looked like a cat cleaning myself. If I could have licked my own pants, I would have.

This is the moment when you have to not care what people think.  You just have to get the job done.

I cleaned myself up pretty well and headed to the PT appointment.
Here’s where the story takes a turn from funny/weird to tragic.
After giving the PT the abbreviated version of my injury, she asked what future plans my doctor and I had more me. She knows my doc, they all work together at the same clinic.

Me: “I have started running this week and am going to run the Boston Marathon in April.”
PT: *crickets* silence
Me: Nervous laugh.
PT: “I don’t know about that. You probably don’t want to hear this. But, I don't think it’s a good idea.”
Me:Yeah, I don't want to hear it.” Nervous laugh again.

Bombshell. Dropped. On me.

Then we went on to test my strength and do some exercises.

I’ve already had my confidence blasted this week by how crappy my two 8 minute runs have felt. And, now I have a professional telling me I can’t run the BM (not bowel movement) in April. That I won’t be ready.

I left the clinic feeling somewhere between defeated and, “LET ME PROVE YOU WRONG!”
Mostly, her tentativeness only makes me that much more determined. More yoga! More strengthening! More exercises! More pussy posse time! 

But, I am slightly deflated and sad.

I am a realist and don’t live in a fantasy world. Of course there is a chance my body just can’t do it. However, I have made a decision. To not give up. I moving forward AS IF.

As if I can run 26.2 miles in April. As if my body will heal and strengthen. As if I can make leaps and bounds by having  strong mental fortitude. As if she was wrong.

Only time and hard work will tell.

Is she wrong? I really need you guys today. Not to tell me what I want to hear, but to give it to me straight.

Living as if,

SUAR

118 comments:

  1. First, hilarious, only could happen to you story! Love it.

    Second--I think it's too early to make that determination. Tell her that too. You have to wait and see where all this goes and then make a call. TOO EARLY!

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  2. Well i'm obviously not a doctor, so i can't give you medical advice. ;) BUT i would just go based on how YOU feel. You know your body, you know two months from now if you are getting stronger....just play it by ear. We're all rooting for you!

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  3. She doesn't know you. Maybe you will be able to, and make you won't, but I think it's too early to try. So, keep working towards it.

    I would have bought new pants. Any excuse for more work out clothes.

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  4. How can she tell you what you are and are not capable of without having first examined you or really spoken with you.

    Pulling for you in FL.

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  5. I know nothing about injuries but I'm certainly hoping you can prove her wrong.

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  6. Like you said - she doesn't know you, your body or what your doc thinks. You should continue to plan and train for Boston - then you'll know you did everything in your power to make it happen. I believe in you!

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  7. Let me just say this.....Is She F'N kidding me? I mean seriously. I know they are supposed to be cautious but that is crazy.

    People have been broken to pieces and come back....Matt Long anybody?

    You suffered an injury and you have been doing everything you can to stay in shape and off the hip and doing great at it. Again, it is not a matter of running BM in 3:25 but a matter of finishing it and that you will for that I have no doubt.

    You can do it and you will do it. It may not be your fastest race but it will be your best race. It will be your best because of where you came from. From running in a pool for hours on end, to 8 minute runs, to PT, to sharts, to crossing the finish line in Boston.

    Give me a break PT lady.

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  8. I definitely agree it's too soon to tell.

    But secondly, you're a champ. For real. You're so speedy and strong when you're healthy & uninjured that I really can't see this being your only shot at Boston.

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  9. I don't like when professionals make a judgement like that without fully assessing you and asking a thousand questions. It just doesn't seem right. You're right, she doesn't know your grit and your determination. Maybe some people wouldn't be able to run the Bowel Movement in April, but you are not SOME PEOPLE.

    Only time will tell...

    Chocolate on the crotch - how delightful. :) Made my day, anyway!

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  10. Mmmm...I love the Mojos but I buy 5 (or 10) and when I go to the drawer the next day to eat one, they are all gone. Everyone likes the MOJO in this house!

    I'm coming back from an injury. It's tough. I'm still not 100% "right". It's been a loooong time coming, but there is nothing I can do but do my best and see where it leads me. That's what you have to do...then you'll know you've done your job.

    Ain't nuthin' to it, but to do it.

    Keep at it, Beth!

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  11. I am so fired up right now. I hate when people use the word can't especially on others. Man alive I can eat steel right now.

    Instead I just bought a SUAR sticker. And seriously $.50 for S/H? Are you personally handling this for me? If so then ok, but if it is coming from your factory of minions pumping out SUAR stickers left and right I want my $.50 back.

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  12. All I have to say is football players get dislocated shoulders, broken bones, etc. in the first quarter and they are back in the second quarter. It can be done.

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  13. I second Jason on this one. You cannot make a determination without all the history, the completed tests and the person being weighed in.

    You'll get there lady. Even if you have to crawl. I know this because I would do the exact same thing. Stupid Type-A personality.

    Run on. PS Of course it hurts to run 8 minute runs after not running anywhere but in the pool! There's no water to make you bouyant, just air. And gravity. And those things can be painful!

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  14. Too early to throw in the towel! Train your best, and decide in April if you haven't strengthened enough.

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  15. I had to stifle a laugh there so badly...Love the story.

    I think you have a great mental outlook on the situation. The best saying even came from one Mr. Henry Ford:

    Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

    So keep at it!

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  16. I'm going with Miss Zippy - how can either of you possibly KNOW that yet? You just started running again for crying out loud!

    So yes - definitely move forward AS IF. If anyone can, it's you!

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  17. I think it's way too early to make that call, and especially without knowing your history. DON'T GIVE UP!!! Take it as motivation and, well, run with that. You can do it.

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  18. I think you just need to do everything you can to move forward in PT and training. Don't get over eager, don't push yourself and if all comes down to it... walk that marathon if you have to. Or run/walk it. At the very least you'll get your money's worth if you take your sweet ass time out on the course! LOL! But for reals, I'm crossing my fingers and toes for ya girl!

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  19. Beth, when non-runners think of a marathon, ESPECIALLY the Boston Marathon, they picture Kenyon people running a 2:30 marathon. When you said you were running the BM, she probably pictures you running a sub 3 hour marathon, running 100+ miles a week, and you killing yourself to get in all these crazy-intense workouts! She has no clue/no knowledge base about what you are going to do and about what your training will involve. Her image of the whole thing is probably way off.

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  20. I think that is what they are supposed to say. I feel like most docs, PT, etc that don't have athletes as their patients probably aren't used to someone being determined to get better quickly...and we all know you are!
    And I think it is too early to decide. I say keep doing what your doing and see how you feel at the end of March. I think you will be running in April!!

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  21. I think it's too soon to say. I find myself in a similar situation right now, having an injury and having signed up for a half in April.

    Do you best, work hard, and do what they tell you. Take it one day at a time.

    Realize that if things don't work out as you hope it will be ok. Just go into realizing it could turn out one way or the other, but staying positive.

    I think being realistic is not bad, just wise of us.

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  22. I'm having a hard time getting past the licking yourself part BUT,
    I think most P/T's would tell a healthy person that they cannot run a marathon. You will find they think marathon runners are either complete wackos or completely amazing. Either way, they are not fans of The Marathon. Period. Face it, most of their business is injured people and alot of those are runners, so it's hard for them to not be biased against it.

    I've been there. 4 weeks before Goofy challenge they told me, not gonna happen. I did it, I was fine. (It was best because I was only expecting to finish) You are still 14 weeks out. You are pool running, okay not the same as impact, but you're slowly getting that in as well. I think if you train smart, (and you are right now!) you can run this. Seriously. You. Can. Run. This.

    But make the pussy posse *cool* and make them do 2+ hours... Get some tunes on...

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  23. Lets hope she was airing on the side of caution....who cares if you have to walk/run/crawl Boston because that is what your body can handle that day...your the only person in your body...you make the finally decision!

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  24. I think it's one of those times when you just keep heading towards your goal, regardless of whether others think you can get there. You just keep going. If you hit the wall, then so be it. But don't quit before the wall.

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  25. I think she DOES know you, probably checked up with your doctor, and decided to use reverse psychology to piss you off and get you fired up.

    If that isn't the case, she is a piss poor PT for trying to discourage you instead of encourage you.

    Not sure where you're going, but check out the Radiant Running guys down in the Boulder area. Douglas specializes in RUNNING injuries, and rehabilitation and gait analysis. I am not associated with them except that I attended a workshop there, and found it to be very encouraging and helpful. http://www.radiantrunning.com/

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  26. She obviously doesn't know who you are. Seriously... this is BOSTON. HELL YEAH you're going to move forward AS IF. You know yourself and you just have to keep moving forward doing what training you CAN do until the running finally works its way back in. Besides, isn't a marathon 99% mental?

    I know you can do it and - if I'm being completely honest - I selfishly need you to keep swimming and doing yoga and running your 8 minutes AS IF so I can read your blog everyday and get my own ass out the door to train!

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  27. She told you this before she did an assessment on you. Seems a little bit silly. I am definitely one of those "if you want it bad enough, you can do it!" people. I think that you can and will do it, just work hard in your physical therapy and take your time with your running. Good luck!

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  28. screw the doctors, run another 8 minutes and see how you feel. She does not know you. If you decide it's not a good idea then fair enough but dude don't give up yet. (I'm too old to call anyone dude).

    Oh and hey I'm real excited I sent my friends John and Fran an email with a link to your blog cause I knew they would like it and I can't stop laughing because I sent them the link and THEN I read the first part of the post.

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  29. You want Boston, so the PT should be saying: let us see what we can do to make it happen. So you tell her this is happening so help me get there, don't stand in my way.

    You really need a PT who is a runner...

    Good luck

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  30. Thanks so much for almost making me spit tea all over my monitor...

    Yup, too early to tell. And, if you think she's not going to be too encouraging, have her speak with your doctor. Just because they work together doesn't necessarily mean she knows everything about your case. If you still have bad vibes after that it's in your best interest to search out a PT that understands your situation.

    ps - for some reason when I read "Me: “I have started running this week and am going to run the Boston Marathon in April.”" it sounded like the voice from your video... :p

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  31. I agree with everyone else... it's too early to tell. April may come and you just might not be healed enough to run, but it won't be for a lack of trying on your part. And although that would be disappointing it won't be nearly as disappointing as being healed and not being as ready as you could be. I can't imagine you'd be one to quit now so don't let some discouraging words break your psyche.

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  32. Also, I loved the story you started out with... made my day. :)

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  33. Everyone around me is looking at me like I'm a complete idiot because I laughed outloud a couple of times. So sorry about your accident. : )
    I think you're exactly right when you said the PT doesn't know your strength and determination. Hopefull all of your hard work will pay off!

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  34. I'd hate to be the party pooper (pun maybe intended) but considering how much you HATE not being able to run (and the fact that you are SUCH an awesome athlete and you will most definitely qualify for Boston) should you not focus on recovering 100%, so you can enjoy the rest of the season, instead of risking further injury that is most certainly going to mess up the rest of the year? Obviously I am not a doctor, I did not put all the work you did in qualifying for Boston in the first place, and I don't know your body the same way you do, this is YOUR decision, but you did asked for it straight. Now that that's done, can I say how awesome YOU are and how I really appreciate all your posts (and not only the poop ones)?

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  35. First I am totally impressed with your flexibility.
    Now you're paragraph that begins with 'she made the assessment..."
    That's exactly it: she doesn't know YOU.
    My money is still on you for April 18. Maybe you won't run the whole way. But who can say now? Don't rule anything out. But you WILL finish. Dammit do I have to come cheer you on? Now I'm tempted.

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  36. The starter story had me up and giggling and then I just felt plain ol bad by the end. I agree with you though...a lot of this injury will be determined upon your determination to get better and your grit. The one step at a time theory just might have to work?!

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  37. I think, with enough training and hard work, you will be able to lick your crotch. Keep at it!

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  38. The important thing to remember is that you don't have to run Boston for time; you only need to finish - right? Right!

    Having come off two different surgeries, one of them being knee surgery, there are two things that will get you to the starting line. The first is to do your assigned exercises; even the crappy exercises that you think are worthless. Trust me, they are not. Second, don't over do it in your quest to be ready. Your body will tell you when you can do more so there is no need to force things.

    If you can manage those two things, then you can likely be ready to run Boston. Perhaps not as fast as you wanted, but you will be there.

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  39. I think no matter what come April, you will cross that finish line. Whether it be running, jogging, walking, limping. YOU WILL CROSS THE FINISH LINE! After going to PT for the last two months I have found that they are overly cautious at the beginning and want to get a feeling for you and subsequently through more appointments will realize who you really are and your determination. They don't want to give you false hope in case something happens so that's why it was negative nelly yesterday. Think positive your dream will come true.

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  40. Hell yes you can this! We all know it's 90% mental. But that means you've MENTALLY got to know what your body is capable of, take the training easy. Anyone who can lick their crotch or rock some white panties like you do is obviously fit enough to do just fine in the BM! You're awesome!

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  41. Most guys would kill for that kind of flexibility...

    And I think it would be worth looking into finding a different PT. I would want someone like the one I have... totally into HELPING get me where I want to be... with, of course, the caveat that it might just not really pan out. No naysayer... you don't need that. You need a PT who can proceed by saying, "let's take a look and see what we need to do to help you get there... safety and health providing."

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  42. Two comments in a row - disappeared! Argggggggg!
    Anyway - I agree with others that it is too soon to tell if you are going to be able to run "the boston". I think you need to continue to train (starting slowly) and see how it goes.
    You are way too smart and logical to run "the boston" if there is a chance that it might effect your long-term health and ability to run in the future. But, if anyone could prepare in 3 months, it is you. She may think that you are a mere mortal, little does she know that you are Beth, from SUAR and ran with Dean. HEAL!

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  43. I know you have a VERY strong running base. I also know you have busted ass to maintain your fitness while letting your SF heal. I know you have thr guts and determination to do it. I also know you know better than to run the marathon when you aren't ready to do so and potentially lose the rest of the year dealing with subsequent injury/ies.

    I think all you can do is move forward AS IF you are going to do it. Follow your plan, listen to your body, do everything you can to stay healthy and get stronger. And just see where that road leads you. Nothing needs to be decided now.

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  44. I would venture to guess it was purely a C.Y.A. move on her part. I have not met a physical therapist who was optimistic YET.

    Hang in there. Where there is a will there is a way.

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  45. First of all, I'm SO glad that I'm not the only person on the face of the earth that suffers from chocolate sharts. I buy Mojo bars in bulk.

    Secondly, I have no doubt that you will be able to run the BM. It will not be as fast as you wanted, but no worries, you will have other chances to earn your PR at Boston.

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  46. I am no Dr
    I am no marathoner
    I am like Jason, I hate the word can't...with a passion THAT AND NEGATIVE PEOPLE, non believer
    I think if you have reasonable goals for Boston and by that I mean forget the time, the pace and all that pressure and just run to run and to finish then YOU CAN!
    It is still early I agree with most.
    Only you know your body.
    The tricky part is Can Beth be honest with BETH?
    also agree..seeing a 2nd PT is a good idea...one who treats runner, better yet one who does run.
    hang in there!
    you CAN do it, I believe
    I am not the only one.

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  47. First of all I really want to complement you on your blog. I enjoy reading it all the way from The Netherlands. And as a runner myself I can totally relate to you.

    I would say just do the yoga and the other stuff to heal/strengthen your body and mind. Just enjoy every moment of it, and you will know as time goes on whether you make it or not. Don't waste time lamenting on what may be or not.
    As they say you may win the battle but lose the war. So keep it in broader perspective that you want to keep running more marathons with a healthy body and mind.

    Good luck and I will continue enjoying your blogging!

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  48. another thing...are you at peace with the possibility of having to WALK some of it if needed? is it better to not RUN boston at all or to run/walk boston? Me I vote for the second one

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  49. Wow what a visual!.. it had me laughing out loud (and im at work)

    And as for BM... well she didn't say you COULDN'T do it. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. I think it is too early too tell. Listen to your body, you never know what can happen in 3 months!

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  50. Plan like you are going to do it. What else do you have to do.....Also have a rational contingency plan if you are not able to run. Have a plan B in place like will you still go and what will you do if you are there just to cheer?
    I agree with Marlene 100%!

    Get a second opinion from a different PT maybe??

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  51. to clarify, I didn't mean, "what else do you have to do" but really, you can't sit around and mope. So just so you don't think I am a total biotch!!

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  52. I ran a marathon after training for only eight weeks after I broke my foot. I was off for 12 weeks with zero activity except for walking the last few weeks. Was it my best time, no. Did I enjoy it, you bet I did! I realize this is different from your injury, but it is possible

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  53. You are so funny with the chocolate smear. Hilarious. Anyway - I'm thinking you have to go for it.... i mean you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain by just following your plan and taking it day by day, week by week. Like you said, she doesn't know you and know what you're capable of. What do they say - running is physical and MENTAL. So while maybe you won't be in the perfect physical condition, you're certainly locked in on the mental aspect. Go for it girl. We can't wait to follow you and cheer you on from the internets.

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  54. The PT is thinking short term. From their point of view, anyone running a marathon isn't a good idea. All that short term pain and soreness and other stuff. They have no idea about the other side of it, that pride is forever.

    All that said, balance your training with rest. Pay attention to what your body is telling you. (I'm positive it was telling you "take photos of you licking yourself like a cat to put on the blog" and you weren't listening.) The PT will give you exercises, and will try to make you cry and whimper. Do them. Make her continue what she's doing even though you are crying or whimpering. Tell her to stop only when you yell. It's good for you.

    Tell your pussy posse the whole thing and you'll get lots of sympathy. Tell us, and we'll just tell you to put your big girl pants on and do it again tomorrow. After RICE, of course. Cause that's how we roll.

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  55. Since I play a doctor in Blogland and I'm wearing one of those doctor smocks right now, I think we need to have another diagnoses once we get closer to April. So make another appointment with my receptionist and don't forget your co-pay!

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  56. If she doesn't know anything about your situation and just says that comment I wouldn't give it too much weight. It's a generic statement for the masses. You need to listen to your doctor and work with him to find a plan that can get you there. First you need to listen to yourself though. One day at a time.

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  57. I think if you really train and work hard and have your mind really into it, there may be a chance that you can race in Boston. Good luck!!

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  58. Though my slow gimpy arshe is nowhere near your ability universe -- I had a similar experience with my PT last week. It was my first visit ever. When I left I was ticked off and more than ready to rise to the challenge and show them. Alas, I am struggling, but not dead - therefore "it aint over until I say it's over". I am with you on this one all the way.

    Prove them wrong and smile the whole time!! We all know that you can and will.

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  59. First - Seriously, I've had the chocolate skid before... next time, I will lick myself... then you get the chocolate too... double bonus.

    Second - I think YOU can complete anything that uses the acronym BM. I think that the right Dr, knowing your history, should be cautiously optimistic. Yes, I think you have a great chance of completing the BM. I also think there is a possibility your body won't be ready, but I think you have been fairly realistic about that possibility. Besides you have to run the BM, because that Shut Up and Run girl told you to!

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  60. I was about to write exactly what Coach Dion wrote! Your PT should be one who encourages you, not makes you doubt yourself. I felt my sails deflate as I continued to read your post, which was a bummer because your crotch cleaning antics had me grinning from ear to ear! Keep on training and see how you feel in 2 months. You can do it!

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  61. You are a hilarious writer SUAR! Sharting MoJo bars are so messy!

    You have to keep the mindset that you are going to do Boston 2011! Put yourself through the PT routine with every intention of running 26.2 on 4/18/11! I wish I had your bod!

    We all know you are one fit chick who can kick ou asses in the pool...in your whitey tighties!

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  62. Just getting all caught up ;)
    Loved the choco story - been there, done that - although, not at a gas station ;0

    I think you have to believe you can do it, keep what you're doing, and fight like hell. You will know when the time gets close what you're capable of, and you're a smart runner and woman. In the mean time, keep the BM as your mantra, I know you can get there in the best shape you possible can! Good luck lady!

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  63. I am also healing from an Anterior Tibial Stress Fracture. Turkey Trot 2009...was the first race I felt pain...3 months with my own pussy posse....and then 3 months of PT 3x/wk...released to run Feb 2010...2 min run...4 min walk..finally up to 3 miles. Ran summer series 5k's....lasted 6 weeks..ended up back at PT/MRI?orthotics...worked mileage back up, Today I ran 3 miles. And my leg hurts like hell. Back to PT next wk. I wish you luck! If you find a way to do it....please share with the rest of us. I am pulling for you!!!!!!!

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  64. Way too early to assess that. I'm no pt professional, but give it time. God heals in ways we cannot even imagine. Keep going every day with the attitude that it's going to happen!
    But listen to your body! You know you the best. I'm pulling for you to run 'the Boston'. Praying for you.

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  65. Does your PT run? run marathons? I reckon every marathon runner needs a PT who runs marathons, they actually understand. I'm supposed to be (I AM!) training for London - day before Boston, so same time limits - 3 weeks into training, bang! Patellofemoral Syndrome, okay, not as bad a hip fracture, but you know, enough to send me into a wild panic, I'm running London on a deferred entry anyway (thank you Iceland volcano), this is my last/only chance to do it (NZ is a long long way from London), I CAN'T have an injury stop me, I told the PT I'd be crawling it if I had too ... being a runner, and having run a marathon, I think he understood - understood enough that he never said you're an idiot to be worried about missing a marathon, understood enough that he never even mentioned, well, maybe you should just stop running - not sure if I've been lucky, but its looking "okay", lots of PT work, being careful, but hopefully I can get back on track to at least run it, even if its slowly ... but like you with Boston, I just want to do the damn thing!
    Sooooo yeah, hang in there, do all the exercises, balance that working as hard as you can but treating the body really really well and resting well - and I believe you can do it :) (and this was ultra wordy, sorry!)

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  66. I agree it is too soon to say. Just do what you can today and then do what you can tomorrow.
    I had a foot doctor tell me that I am bow legged, my legs are twisted and I SHOULD NOT run. But I still run and I am fine. Some doctors just need to think about what they say to their patients. Stay strong and positive but listen to your body!
    BTW, funny shart story. LOL ;)

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  67. Time will tell but woman I KNOW you are going to prove that woman wrong! You are so determined and you have done everything right. You know what your body can handle and you are going to rock it. Can't wait to meet you in Boston:)

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  68. after being through this myself only YOU know what you can do. Now i did wind up getting injured while coming back from my femur fracture but I didn't have BOSTON in my face either.. worst comes to worst, back off and keep aqua jogging. Just try not to stress your body too much.

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  69. I was done at licked myself like a cat ! I did however finish and laughed out loud to myself at your expense (as usual)

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  70. First - hilarious, anyone who embraces sharts is my kind of woman, found you through RLAM, never leaving. Second, you know your body, just listen to it, and don't be too stubborn, you don't want to tap out for longer than you need to be because I nearly crap my pants with every run and I need more shart stories and if you're not running, I'm not getitng any. Yes I am selfish.

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  71. I honestly have no idea. I think we're all along for the ride at this point, waiting to see how it goes. But you HAVE to try. You have to live AS IF. For all of us.

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  72. She might be right - yes. But - that being said, I have had to search long and hard (that's what she said) to find a PT or chiro who doesn't say, "It's not good for you." or "I think you should stop running." hahahaha
    I think they teach them that in PT 101.

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  73. I like others think it's too early to tell. When I got temporarily sidelined just before my marathon, I was VERY lucky with my PT. She was very optimistic, determined to get me to the start line and extremely encouraging to me. (Don't know if it matters that this PT practice is affiliated with a sports med practice that is known for treating runners/triathletes) I don't know if shopping PT practices (or PTs) is an option for you, but I believe that we should all be empowered in our healthcare and should feel satsified in the relationship.

    Wishing you the best in your recovery and running!

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  74. Honestely, I wouldn't give a crap what the PT says. All I've been hearing lately from runners is that thier doctors don't know crap, give weird information and just basically don't know what they're talk about. You ARE determined. You're going to do it anyway. Do what you want. Go for it!!!

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  75. I'm not the kind of doctor that helps people (laugh at me now), but the PT doesn't know yet. Neither does your doctor. Neither do you. What you know better than anyone is your heart, your determination, and your own capabilities. Your PT probably sees a lot of people for whom it is not possible, but that is not you. If it IS possible, we all believe YOU will be the one to do it. You can only try and hope and believe. Keep it up!!

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  76. A lady at Kona walked the entire marathon in a boot with a stress fracture! A BOOT! SO you will go to Boston and finish. Will you PR? no but you will finish. Will you walk? sure you might have to but you will finish. Will it hurt? it always hurts to run 26 miles. Will you have a hard time training? yes but what else are you going to do between now and then watch TV? So bottom like is you have to have something to do everyday so why not train for Boston. AND come April might as well fly out there and see what happens!

    One thing that is 100% for sure is if you don't train and go to Boston you will regret it! That PT never qualified for Boston most likely so keep working on it and take it one day at a time!

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  77. I think injuries are half mental. So, stick with the positive outlook!
    LC

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  78. That story was hilarious!
    Can you do Boston? YES! I think that a normal person wouldn't even attempt running five miles after a stress fracture, but you are not normal. It was one opinion of a physical therapist and more importantly I'd advise you to get a new one. You've written before about people "not getting" running, and I think that PT was one of them. You have three months to do what most runners dream of- running Boston. Get another PT and get to work!

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  79. i mean, she might be right but i think it's too early to tell. i really believe in the power of the mind so if you KNOW you can do it then you will. so keep your head up and prove that crazy PT lady wrong

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  80. I think an MRI should be able to tell you if the fracture is healed. I work with PTs a lot, part of my work is doing CBT for pain, and I will tell you that they are super cautious and actually can hinder recovery with how cautious they are. I also think that it is so unhelpful and unskilled to tell a patient something like that in the first session, particularly since your orthopedist thinks differently and he makes the call. I would clarify things with the doc! Hang in there!

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  81. She is probably right about some people, but maybe not about you! Everyone recovers differently! You came back so well from your foot thing last year! I bet you will again.

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  82. I can tell you what I do know and what I don't know for sure. What I don't know, is whether or not you will be ready for the Boston. Like most of the other comments, I think it's still way too early to tell. However, this is what I know for sure, no questions asked: If you give up on yourself now, there's absolutely no chance of being ready. I love your "as if" attitude! Keep your chin up, and keep fighting through the storms.

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  83. Agreeee with previous posts - no way to know what you are capable of this early out, especially before doing a physical evaluation. Prove her wrong. Don't doubt yourself. Listen to her medical advice, but also listen to your body.

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  84. What does she know?!?! She's not you - she doesn't know your strength and stubbornness. Don't jump to any conclusions. Keep thinking positive and working as hard as you can. What does Oprah say? The Law of Attraction? Think positive and all the crap. PERSEVERE!

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  85. You know, my PT was a runner and I really think it made a huge difference in my care. And I'm not a PT, and I didn't even play one on TV, but I also think it's really too early to tell what you can do.

    And I think you're going to have to bust some a$$ on all the things you can do if you're to have a fair chance to run this thing. But busting a$$ is one thing I'll bet you can do! So, hit the yoga, hit the weights, hit the pool (and maybe up the calcium) - and see where it takes you!

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  86. Ouch, touchy subject for sure! First of all I am sorry. Second of all I have NOT run a full 26.2 but...from what you wrote she didn't say you "can't run" she said she doesn't think you "should run". You are going to Boston. You can't NOT go. And if you run, walk or crawl I think you will cross that finish line. So maybe if you can try to not put to much pressure on yourself to run like you had in your last marathon you will enjoy the journey. (I know your injured and it SUCKS and you HATE it) Hell you QUALIFIED for Boston your second attempt! Just be careful and listen to your body, you don't want to hang with the pussy posse forever. That would suck more than a 5 hours finishing time at BM. Right or am I off here? Feel weird writting this...

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  87. Keep your chin high and take one day at a time. The human body is an amazing thing... especially yours! ow ow! ;)

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  88. As a physical therapist myself, I probably would have had the same reaction. Her opinion may change as she sees you heal, but a marathon after a fracture like yours so soon would make me nervous too.

    Id just keep working with her & see how it goes. Maybe you will pleasantly surprise her and be ready for Boston soon!

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  89. I think everyone has covered the "you know your body, keep training "as if". ;o)

    I'm just sitting here giggling about your chocolate adventure. My kids think I've lost my mind. ;o)

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  90. f her! you can do this.

    p.s. word of advice...for us new readers there should be a warning issued before reading your blog...no beer(liquids) should be ingested while reading or they will end up spewed (<is that a word) all over your screen!!! oh yea, and bladders should be emptied!!!

    omg...i'm still laughing :0

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  91. AS A PT...

    OK. Although this person might work in a sports med style clinic (since you said they work with your orthopedic), her words definitely don't seem to match those of a true sports med therapist.

    While I understand her caution - the fact is, you ARE going to do Boston. It's just how much you are going to run/walk/crawl to get there. (haha) J/K She should be working with you on figuring out how to get you to the best position you can be in to do the race, versus challenging you by saying you can't do it.

    And I'm personally offended by the fact she said that without looking at your motion, strength, or gait.

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  92. You can do it, Beth. If anyone can do it, it's you!!

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  93. Seems just too early to tell. It does tick me off that she could make such declarations without examining you first.

    I'm seriously rooting for you to prove her wrong!

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  94. I have totally done that same thing with a chocolate Zone bar. I was laughing out loud reading your post!

    As for BM, you still have plenty of time. Training "as if" seems like the right decision to me right now. Do what you can and see how you feel, and keep checking in and assessing. Secretly, I think you CAN do it. You're awesome!

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  95. OMG I was laughing OUT LOUD at your cat licking story. Too bad I can't attach a photo, because there exists one of me at a family gathering, where, for some inexplicable reason I was attempting an imitation of just that.... and of course, someone had to take a photo. I have no recollection of why I was attempting it. But I digress...

    As for Boston, you are way too strong, fit and just plain badass to NOT keep going toward that goal. Your body will let you know if it's ready. And it will let you know if it's not. Just keep on AS IF.

    One other thought - I was lucky that my sports medicine doc sent me to a PT who is a runner. I think that makes a difference. Fellow runners understand crazy.

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  96. You know your body best. That means ultimately YOU are the one to make the decision. I would totally be out to prove her wrong!

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  97. Beth, trust me ... I have been all over your adventure at the PT: remember -> here.

    No one knows how much desire can tip the scales on any day. No one knows how much your will and your synchronicity with your body will take you on race day. Not even you know. This is a glorious mystery that is hidden in the simple gift called life.

    I would say, put yourself in a training situation where you are just like you would be at mile 20. Then ENDURE. Then go back follow the weakening process and then ENDURE again. You will begin to hear your body talking to you. Even if you are in great pain, and you begin to lose your faculties - pay attention to your body it may be giving you a tired "wink" to say "let's keep going".

    I'm not going to dump on the stupid good-for-nothing PT - that would be unfair! But I don't think you need to do anything today except train the best you can, and then review where you have been, turn up the pressure and train harder still the next day.

    What I have learned about running is that junk miles don't count; a date 6 months from now doesn't count. What counts it that you run today with the most courage, grace and brilliance that you possibly can to say "thank you" to your creator.

    But I'm just a wannabe ... and this philosophy might be flawed!

    For you I wish you remember that you are called to be brilliant not to necessarily listen to a PT.

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  98. I think it is too early for anyone to be able to tell you, and as the date approaches you'll be able to listen to your body and figure it out for yourself.
    In the meantime, you'll learn a hard lesson about patience. But it will all be worth it.

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  99. I'm sure you can get a good one, but I have NEVER been to a competent PT when it comes to running. I think they're great for a lot of things but unless they are a runner, well, they just don't seem to be able to conceptualize your process very well. Don't give up. Go with what your Dr says. I would most definitely say MD trumps PT. Stick with your plan and do it in as safe and healthy of a way as possible. God speed. :)

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  100. do what you gotta.....you will know the right path when the time comes....

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  101. First, I laughed out loud at the Mojo Shart stain/cat licking story.

    The fact that she made that statement before even looking at you is bullshit. I stay stick with your plan. I don't think it is unrealistic for you to run Boston. I am not an MD or PT, but PT's sometimes tick me off. There are some GREAT ones, but I haven't had one yet for running. Most all of them I have had have told me to stop and are just not tough enough for me. Some PTs are not into pushing anything when the person being worked on wants to push, I think they get used to having out of shape people and don't know what to do with an athlete.

    SUAR, I never will ever tell anyone they can't - endurance is 99% mental, and you have that nailed. Those pool sessions plus your past seasons prove it. Have you read The Long Run about Matt Long? Dr's told him he couldn't. He did.

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  102. Oh how I've missed you and your blog. I loved picturing you licking your crotch.

    If I thought you were a person that would give up, I wouldn't keep coming back for more. I think "As If" is a great approach!!

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  103. I think you need to E-mail your PT a link to SUAR

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  104. Beth, Beth, Beth NEVER tell a Doc or PT person what you are planning to do.

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  105. I know you have this in you! Just take it slow and try not to stress about that 'what ifs.' Rooting for you in San Diego!

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  106. I think proceeding AS IF is a good plan...because you never know. YOU MAY JUST PROVE HER WRONG!!!

    I am a strong believer in the mind controls the body. Look at many people who beat unbelieveable odds against cancer, paralysis, etc. with the power of their MIND>

    When the time draws near, only you can make that decision. If you feel ready...then run girl, run.
    If not, well--you know what to do.

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  107. you're right, she doesn't know what you're capable of. but she knows what is smart and she's looking out for your best interest. which we tend not to do for ourselves sometimes. you know how you feel. you have to listen to your body in making this decision. when the PTs told me i shouldn't run the 75 miler i was crushed and determined to show them i could. 2 weeks before the race, my body told me i shouldn't. and i listened. it was crushing after months of ultra training that tore me down, but it was the smartest and best decision i could have made. you'll know when it comes down to making the final call what you should do. and whatever you do, just remember, boston will always be there and you will qualify again. a friend said to me when i was crushed back over the summer, "heal to run another day."

    *hugs*

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  108. You know your body better than anyone, and even in stubbornness, you know whether you are still injured or not and whether or not it feels "right" running. Normal aches and pains aside, you also know whether or not you are healed enough to push your body through the rigors of marathon training. If you are not healed enough, you WILL do further damage and may succumb to long-term if not permanent injury. If you are healed enough, you will rock it like you always do. But again, only you know what it feels like to be inside your body and you also know what your body is capable of. So listen to your body, carefully. Boston Marathon isn't going anywhere, and I have no doubt you will be able to qualify again.

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  109. Whoa. I'm late to the party but I got an invite from Adena above and am glad I came.
    Holy frickin' comments! You got a small army of cult followers or something here :)

    Anyhow, most doctors and PT's couldn't run around the block if their lives depended on it. I wouldn't take advice from someone like that.

    The doctors told me the same thing but I'm running just fine. I might not be able to walk by the time I'm 50 but who cares. I don't plan on arriving to the grave in pristine condition lol

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  110. I just started reading your blog, and I can't keep quiet about your entry today! This situation has the makings of one of the best personal accomplishments EVER!!! Goal- check. injury that stands in way of goal- check. professional (that doesn't have spare running shoes in their car....)saying goal will never be reached- check. personal pity for a tiny moment of belief in professional- check. nagging feeling in back of head: desire to still reach goal, confidence in past achievements, burning to run, to strengthen, to keep on with the journey- CHECK.
    alright, so I come from the city that bore the story of Rocky, but still- the opportunity to prove oneself is great when it falls in your lap. What you do with that opportunity is a reflection of YOU and is totally YOUR call :-) Just do it- SUAR. Create a story better than Rocky's and keep us updated- we are cheering for you, even if you do wish you could lick choco off your arse. LOL

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  111. Love the Mojo bar story... if it makes you feel any better, the picture (of the bar, not the mental image you provided, haha) makes me want to try one. :)

    I work as an x-ray tech, and while I'm not a doctor or a physical therapist, I've seen these types of fractures. I think your best bet would be to do whatever you can, but listen to your body. If you push yourself too hard, chances are good that you'll just make the fracture much worse, which could potentially result in surgery and a MUCH LONGER recovery. Don't get yourself set on doing Boston, but keep yourself optimistic. If you feel good and you recover well, then there's no reason to believe that you cannot complete it. :)

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  112. So I’ve just found your blog THIS WEEK, and anything I have to say has probably been said a thousand times over . . . . BUT, you used the word “shart” in this post, which is a sign from the universe that I must respond:

    1. I don’t really see that moving ahead AS IF is unrealistic or unwise. Since when is determination living in la-la land?? In my world--it’s not!
    2. I bet anything someone told the PT that it “wasn’t a good idea to be a PT” . . .(because, obviously, she is an insensitive goober and doesn’t take the time to know her patients before passing judgements on their prognosis!!) . . . besides, what is a “good idea” anyway?? Sounds to me that you have to prove that heading towards the BM is, indeed, a “good idea”.
    3. Here’s where some actual advice comes in. I have this Russian friend who is dying. Really- not going to make it. And soon. Don’t let that bum you out; it’s just a fact. She is the strongest and most determined kicking-asses (not just one ass, many “asses”) person I will ever know. She is also trained in sports therapy, and has worked with everyone from the Chicago Bulls, Cirque du Soleil, and USSR cycling teams when she lived there. Sooooo, I read your post, and even though she’s feeling really really bad, I called her to see what she had to say about your healing--the call made her day! She said A LOT, but, in summary she said EAT FOR YOUR BONES. Eat for healing: plant-based proteins, food-based anti-inflammatory (berries, fresh basil, omega-3), vitamins & minerals. She also said to apply indirect “vibration” in the area of injury 3x per day with a back massager or something, for about 3-5 minutes. This, I can say from experience, totally helps!! You better listen to her advice, because if you don’t, this crazy Russian woman will haunt your ass. She also said red wine helps : )

    I LOVE your AS IF plan. I’d feel discouraged and sad too. I’m training for my first marathon in Nashville this April (right after my 42nd old-fart birthday) and my mind is messing with me . . .and my foot is a little messed up . . . and I teach . . . oh, and in grad school . . .and then there’s my son and husband . . .but I’m going on AS IF as well. What else is there to do??

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  114. First off, that is the most hilarious story. My day just got that much better, laughing about this :) Secondly, hooray for PT!!! Seriously, that shit helps, it will definitely help you. Lastly, yeah so a random person who doesn't know how hard working and determined you are thinks it's a bad idea, hell, who doesn't think that right off the bat? But you're SUAR, you're a champ, and you'll work your hardest to get to that starting line. Whether you run 26.2 miles, or 2.62 miles, you'll be at Boston darnit. And you'll rock it with style.

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  115. I am late to this post but I have been following your story a bit and am so glad you are on your way to recovery. Dont hate your PT or use it as a challenge to PROVE HER WRONG and win ( ie beat the PT, which you likely could do). Remember if you can that the PT wants to do what is best for your LONG TERM recovery. That means that YES you CAN run boston, but it is her job to try to treat you to the best of her ability and assure that you are NOT back in her office the day after Boston worse off than you were on day 1.
    I know how competitive we all are and i know that its a great goal to prove her wrong. But remember that she isnt racing you to the finish line.
    And yes I am a PT.

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  116. I reckon she can stick her assessment where the sun don't shine...or where Beth may or may not have licked herself.

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  117. I have been battling an ongoing hip injury and I have been feeling very defeated this week because just when I think I am getting better I feel like I am back at square one. However, I keep trying and I know one day it will be better, so just focus on each day and be smart. Listen to your body and follow your PT orders. Of course she doesn't think running a marathon is a good idea now, but who knows where you will be in a few weeks or months from now.

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