Thursday, September 8, 2011

Her Mouth is Dirtier Than a Sailor’s

At the risk of being self-indulgent (because I am NEVER this way, this is the first time EVER), I had to share with you this:

I am pretty sure this makes no sense to you without an explanation. A couple of things:

  • That is me in the middle with the nipples wearing the see through bathing suit and a boot on my foot. I am the one holding the toilet paper, because I always run with a roll. I am also apparently saying the “f word.”
  • The old lady on the left is a member of my pussy posse. We hung out in the deep end of the pool most of last winter while I was injured. She was not, however, allowed to bring her walker into the the water. Her boobs did sag, just like the drawing. I don’t think she took that crap on the floor. That might have been me.
  • To my right is my one-eyed, three legged dog, Lucky. He really should be licking his penis because that is what he does 23 out of 24 hours of the day.
  • On the far right is my son, Sam, who is cleaning my toilet with a toothbrush. I believe manual labor and tough love are the keys to successful parenting.
  • On the top of the picture is Dean Karnazes (Did you know we ran a race together? Did I tell you that?). We share a special bond that he is not aware of.

What the hell with the picture?

Amanda at Runninghood is holding an art contest (go enter, very cool prize). One of the ways you could enter was to create a masterpiece that featured SUAR.

Lindsey from Chasing the Kenyans is the artist behind the above drawing. Genius. She even added “Ten Things I Know About SUAR,” which are hilarious:

image

If cussing, farting and having small boobs is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Does this list properly describe me? What would you add?

SUAR

28 comments:

  1. best drawing ever.
    amazing!!

    needs to be shared with the world

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  2. I think the deuce on the ground is from Luck at the farmers market.

    11) SUAR took a deuce and that is how Chuck Norris was born.

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  3. I hope you are sending Lindsay a case of her beloved M&Ms for this one!
    <3 u Linds - come stay on my couch again!

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  4. Hahaha. I am honored that you like the drawing (and thankful that the posse isn't knocking down my door to do your dirty work)! I'm so glad my drawing enabled you to mention the fact that you ran with Dean. WHO KNEW!?! :) Thanks for being such a good sport-you rock.

    Drawing a dog penis is harder than you think... Sorry I let you down!

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  5. Lindsay is awesome!! What a sport!! :) Hope more people do this because it is so fun to see what they come up with! And I love how LIndsay explains it...art can take on so many forms. Arrange some veggies or something, put your running shoes in some formation, cut out magazines, or draw SUAR in all her farting glory!

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  6. I think you should tell people you ran with Karno.

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  7. Laughing so hard I choked a little. LOVE THIS!

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  8. You've gotta love that great Chasing the Kenyans art!

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  9. That is awesome! I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants and now my dog is looking at me funny!

    Sarah

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  10. I love that you only day dream about Dean's head. heheheheheeee

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  11. I would add 2 more things:

    1) unbelievable sense of humor
    2) the top blog I look forward to

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  12. What's funnier... the pictures or the write-up? OMG... this is too freakin funny!!!

    I would add:

    a bobblehead.

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  13. This is literally the best thing I've seen all day!!

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  14. I love it! Great picture and even better list. :) Dean Karnasaezesas. That is really hard to spell. I have had to google it.

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  15. I could not stop laughing at Lindsay's art and list yesterday!!!

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  16. FREAKING hilarious! I have to create my suar piece!

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  17. That is fabulous? What is the .1 goal sticker you have there? I got a 1.5 oval sticker when I did my underpants run. You would have had a blast there.

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  18. Melissa: I am just keeping it real. Hoping I can always run .1 until I'm 115 years old.

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  19. i saw this on lind's blog and i was dying laughing. i loved the picture.

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  20. Just out of interests sake - whose toothbrush is Sam using?

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  21. how do you draw awesome? That is the one thing that is missing.

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  22. ROTLMAO!!!!! And power to the little-boobed women of the eworld!

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  23. She is very inspiring and a great writer!! That is what I would add. Oh, and likes her white wine. :)

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  24. This is the f-ing funniest thing I've seen/read all week.

    Oh, it's only Sunday night?

    Well, I bet it will remain the funniest thing all week. Hilarious!

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