Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Need Some Syrup With Those Pancakes?

When I was injured for months last fall and winter and all I wanted to do was run, I had a real love/hate relationship with running blogs, books and magazines. When I read them it pissed me off that I couldn’t run and made me want to do it more. I was jealous when I saw runners on the street and sometimes leaned out my car window and threw slushies at them (like on Glee).

The flip side of it was that I loved reading blogs, books and magazines related to running because it kept my head in the game. And, no matter how shitty I felt, I knew that one day I would run again. Reading other people’s experiences with running, even when I couldn't, made me excited for the day when I could lace of my shoes and be back out there.

So, for those of you who are injured right now, keep the faith. It will return. It will be there waiting for you.

These days I am on a good, non-injured stretch. I was GIDDY about my run today. I could not wait to get out there. How is it possible to be made so happy by something??

I got up early and got the kids situated, then got ready to head out the door for six miles. I thought about wearing my new cheetah slippers, but decided against it and settled for my grape scented Brookes Adrenaline.

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Between episodes of licking himself silly, the dog watched with his one eye.I know it must feel good to be able to lick yourself in certain places, but it is plain gross if you ask me.

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Some people do not want to be photographed in the morning.

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It was a fabulous run. Every minute. Except for one thing that upsets me to no end. If you read this blog enough, you know this issue plagues me.

I don’t eat too much before I run due to stomach issues (half a bagel). I always try to clear the pipes before I leave and today was no exception. Yet, I was not a mile into the run before there was a turd honking for the right of way and I had to clench the next five miles.

At mile 4.5 I almost stopped at a friend’s house to beg her to use her bathroom. But, you know how it is. You have friends close enough who don’t question it if you bust into their house and make a bee-line to crap in their toilet. That is different than more of an acquaintance friend. You can’t exactly knock on the door and say, “Excuse me, can I please drop a load then be on my way?” So, since this friend was the acquaintance type friend, I did not stop and continued home.

After I got out of the bathroom, Ken said, “Are you okay? Like did you lose control on your run?” No, I did not, but it was close and no one likes to clench for 50 minutes.

Then, I went for my mammogram. I brought some syrup because who does not like syrup with their pancakes. The technician said, “Oh I saw you coming and got out my smallest device.” Yeah, thanks.

I was horrified to watch my boobs be reduced to 1/2” flapjacks. To top it off, the technician and I had this exchange:

Tech:  “Did you lose weight since last year?”

Me: “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

Tech: “Well, it’s just that your breast are thinner, smaller than last year.”

Smaller? Is that possible? ARE YOU F&CKING KIDDING ME? My weight has not changed, which can only mean that the weight I lost in my boobs that I could not afford to lose just went somewhere else like my ass or thumb.

Oh, well. That’s what padded bras and tissues are for.

Do you read running blogs, etc when you are injured? Does it help/hurt you?

Does your GI system give you fits when you run? How do you handle it?

How was your last mammogram? Are you boobs shrinking with age? Mine used to be much bigger. In college I think I was actually a full B.

SUAR

PS: Get your SUAR shirts HERE.

57 comments:

  1. ohmygoodness how I needed this! I am hurt now (my first big running injury) and I so have that love hate thing going. I tear up when I see runners but cant stay away from all things that have to do with it. Its hard when you are in the thick of it to think of being on the "good side" again so appreciate that reminder. :) You crack me up too with your bathroom stories. I LOVE that you just "go there" and share all that we feel! I have to tell you I have this porta potty phobia and I am thinking I need to get over it! :)

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  2. Holy Shit, that mammo technician needs a remedial course in things you just do NOT say as a health care professional!

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  3. Is that how you got your butt pain...clenching too much...? I'm lucky in that I don't have those issues often, I don't even 'go' before I run in the mornings...

    Booblessening....it's muscle.
    Ok, question about your Brooks. I just got the trail Cascadias, and I loooooove them! I usually don't veer away from big-toe box-adidas so I was surprised I liked the Brooks. I haven't liked any other brand due to toebox... So, how do these fit for those that like a big box..? ;-)

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  4. I have been fortunate enough not to be injured for any long stretch, but I do still read blogs and try to stay involved when I am on the bench. It's tough to watch others doing what you can't BUT as long as you keep the faith that you'll be back, it's a good way to stay motiviated and positive.

    Heck yes to the GI issues. I almost always have to go within 15 minutes and try to plan my routes accordingly. Hate it...

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  5. I was about to say something about my really long runs being only 6 miles or so and I don't have that problem when I reread "really long runs" and started giggling.

    But the having to go thing happens for me every single day while I am driving to work at exactly the same time... Are your runs (I said "runs" again) all around the same time in the morning/same amount of time from when you got up? Maybe your body is just on a schedule.

    Or maybe you should plan a short 1 mile loop at the beginning, stop off at the house, take care of business, and then go for your "real" run.

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  6. OMG, great post!

    I am lucky that I haven't been injured in a long time (or I am just to stubborn to take a break from running).

    As for GI issues, as long as I "clear my pipes" before I run I am good to go. But I ALWAYS clear the pipes before I run.

    And boobs, what boobs? I am approaching the profile of a high school boy.

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  7. LOL "I got out my smallest device", that would be me too girl, don't worry.
    At one point in my life I was a C, then I had a baby and she literally sucked the life out of them. Now I'm like a negative A or something.

    I can train all year and never have a poop problem, the minute I have a race, I have tummy probs.
    Glad your ass hasn't been giving you too many problems.

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  8. Yes, my boob are shrinking. I've gone from a 32A to 32AA(is that even a size?) The only good news is that I can fit into the girls size Champion sports bras they sell at Target. The girls are $7 and the womens are $17.
    And yes, I have poopie issues on my runs. No matter how much comes out before my run, I ALWAYS have to go again 3-5 miles later. I've started doing jumping jacks before each run to really try and make sure everything gets out. I know, it's silly but it seems to be helping. Go potty, do 20 jumping jacks, go sit on the potty...20 more jumping jacks. I also gave up my morning pre-run snack...bananas. Bananas were not helping the situation

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  9. Well, you know me, the shit soul sister here. I average 2 craps on almost every run. I carry toilet paper. I have my "safe places" where nobody can see me squat and I arrange my runs that way.

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  10. bwaa haa...a turd honking for the right of way...killed me! My friend used to say he had a 'steamer knockin'".
    I LOATHE that feeling on a run, and to avoid it, I run on an empty stomach unless I'm heading out for over 10 miles.
    ~Lisa

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  11. the tech makes me wait to check the film....sometimes she has to re-do my mammogram becuz she can't get enough boob between the plates to smash. I was in a cast for 4 months due to a stress fracture.When I would see people running on the side of the road I would subconsiously feel my SUV pulling towards the side of the road towards them....I was REALLY ugly those 4 months

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  12. I so do not ever want my once huge boobs and now small put into the flitter flattener.. or whatever the technical term is for boob smasher. Anyway, shit while I run??? haha never...or maybe...
    http://anotherrunningmom.wordpress.com

    I could have even written about it there. Though I didn't share too many details.

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  13. It never fails that when I'm out for a run, someone is knocking on my back door! I also have to pee RIGHT before I start my run, or I'll have to stop for that as well. As for the boobie vice, I get my almost A-cups flattened this friday--can't wait.

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  14. LOL! I had a tech laugh at me, seriously, when I went in for a mammogram. And you know from my emails, I should have a warning sign when I am injured, at least in the summer I can ride ;-)

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  15. I just started following your blog & I love it. It's been helping me to read other runner's blogs esp when they discuss coming back from injury. I've been running for about a year now & earlier in the summer started developing a piriformis injury while training for my first half. I ignored it for about a month thinking it would go away & finally had to go in for some PT. I've had to stop my running & completely build back up. It's been frustrating starting over but reading your blogs & others helps me to remember that I will be out there healthy again.
    I had a similar mamo exp last year, but after loosing 120lbs through working out & eating healthy & running my boobs have drastically changed. So much that last year the Dr & tech were concerned some kind of mix up had happened with my chart. Ha ha ha/

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  16. I'm injured, and no... Blogs really aren't helping right now. I'm feeling very, "Meh," about them (including my own). Hearing about people's awesome training, watching them get faster and seeing their new PRs does nothing for me currently, other than put me in a further funk. I know. I'm such a team player. Guess that's why I'm a runner though! (individual sport)

    I do get a kick out of your poop stories though. That's what I'm talkin' about. Love me some low-brow blog humor about turds, farts, etc. I feel ya with the intestinal problems. If I don't take a dump before a run, I am SUNK. Absolutely SUNK. I have to then plan a route where there is a toilet.

    Re: boobs-The beauty of breast implants is that while everything else may shrink, those bad boys stay the same. ;-)

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  17. That's why I LOVE to run where there are corn fields to duck into or trees to hide behind! A big stroller will do for hiding behind in a pinch.

    Boobs? I only have those while nursing, that's why he's 3 and we still haven't weaned yet! ;-)

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  18. I'm lucky in that my GI system is fairly good to me when I run. Not always, but usually. I've never crapped my pants, so I guess I'm doing something right.
    I'm haven't had a mammogram yet. I don't think they could have enough tissue to smash. *shudder* But boobs are mostly fat & fibrous tissue. You have what, .05% body fat? Your boobs were probably your only remaining body fat stores. Better get you some donuts! ;)

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  19. Great post! I can totally relate! I stopped following most of the running blogs/running people on Twitter when I was injured last year. It was so depressing and I'd get angry. Especially when they'd complain about their runs....I'd think "At least you CAN run!" Lots of bitterness. I think it was a good thing for me to take a step back and stop reading a lot of them. I needed to heal physically and emotionally.

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  20. I do think I find myself reading more humor blogs when I am hurting... but I still frequent the running ones, too. I find it does help me :)

    I haven't had too much issue w/ GI stuff...only on rare occasion. I mostly just pee in my pants when I run.

    I do not enjoy getting mammograms. But being high-risk...

    My boobs aren't really getting smaller but the 'texture' has changed. They are easier for the bitch to smash them flatter in that horrid device.

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  21. Your blog was the biggest motivating force behind my first half-marathon training this summer, so thank you for all your inspiration!

    I also pooped on a run once. And I thought of you.

    I have a question for you, though. After my months of training, Hurricane Irene roared up the East Coast and cancelled my race... and I haven't run since.
    I've always been a runner, even if I wasn't always consistent, but something is missing now. The training runs started getting drudgery and now it feels my love of all time is unloved.

    Do you have any advice on how to fall back in love with running? How to fall back in love with something you loved loving?

    Just a question...

    THANK YOU, YOU RUNNING, ROLE-MODEL, YOU!

    -Smess

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  22. Hysterical!! We have called it "touching cotton" and "crowning" but now I have a new one!!! My GI is pretty stable,so when it did go wild on me at a 15K I blamed it on you (I had just started reading your blog 4 months earlier) ;) I was the exact opposite when I was on restricted activity for 6 weeks...I read everything running I could get my hands on, drove friends to races and cheered, scrapbooked all of my races, and walked walked walked everyday, and bugged my gyno repeatedly with begging to let me just jog a little....couldn't wait to get back out there! When I am feeling lazy I always remember that 6 weeks..

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  23. SMESS: this is such a great question and one I'd love to ask of readers. My gut response is that we fall out of love when we are overworked and tired and running starts to feel like an obligation, not something up lifting. Don't know if this applies to you. The other thing is that sometimes I think we go through phases where it is appealing to do races and to train and other times when we're just not into it. I think it will come back to you, but don't force it.

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  24. I agree with you, SUAR. I notice that I completely rebel against workouts, particularly running/biking/swimming for the first few weeks after a race. I think I start to focus on training so much, as something that I HAVE to do do prepare for the event, and I kinda sorta forget that I actually enjoy it. Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me to shake things up or take it easy. Regardless, the love always comes back!

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  25. I do so hate it when I have to poo on a run, but now that I'm not able to run much due to an injury ass clenching doesn't seem quite so bad.

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  26. Bethie....if you ever run down by my house (for your ultra training since I'm probably a good 40 miles from you), you can pop in and use my toilet ANY TIME, no questions asked! We are that kind of friend!

    Now, let's get together!!!!

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  27. I don't read running blogs in particular, injured or not. I read activity blogs. And other stuff.

    My guts are pretty well behaved. No adventures I'd care to recount in comparison with yours.

    I've never had a mammogram, and I think mine are getting smaller.

    If you want to fall back in love with something, you need to stop doing it for a while, or dial back and do something else. One of my questions is if I'm doing something because I think I should, or because I really want to.

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  28. I am calling tease on this. I was fully expecting a photo montage of pancakes with syrup on them and now I'm hungry even though I just ate. Thanks a lot......HA!

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  29. Holy moly, lady! I can’t believe the guy said that to you! Besides the flapjack check,I can totally relate to this post. Way to go on making it home without having to stop!

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  30. I eat NOTHING before a run (or a CrossFit workout). Usually the last time I have eaten before a workout is 6 hours or so before it. I always ate a snack before workouts, but I recently tried it on an empty stomach and found I did MUCH better. Haven't had energy issues yet, but my runs and workouts are all under an hour. I'd probably crash if I went longer than that though.

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  31. I was injured last fall too, and continued to blog (on a different site than my current site) and read blogs. It helped me to live vicariously though them, I guess. Sort of how I need to read every IM story I find now, since there is no way I can train for one of those right now.

    I do have some GI issues from time to time. I can't eat within 3 hours of a long run, and that has sort of fixed it. I have also cut back on fiber the day before the long run.

    Yeah, I have totally lost my boobs too. I went from being 34B before pregnancy to 34C while nursing, to who knows what size. I felt horrible when the moving comfort website told me they had nothing in my size because my two measurements were too close to each other.

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  32. Being a newbie, I haven't dealt with the injury issue. But I fear that if I get injured I'll never come back. I'm afraid if I ever stop, it will be the end of my training. I'm quite worried about this actually and have focused on building slowly to avoid it.

    Your poop stories are absolutely hysterical. Ever since I had my gallbladder out, I've had occassional emergency bathroom issues. I was VERY worried about them during both of the tri's. But thankfully, I just had to pee really bad and waited until the end (God bless the sprint distance). We call them "Turtles" - cause they kind of "peek out" and then you clench them back in.

    Had my baseline mammogram a few years ago. The bonus of being overweight was actually having a little bit of boob to put in the machine. I had NO boobs in high school (ballerina body). Had to weigh twice as much to bust into a "barely B", only had cleavage twice (nursing each baby), and having lost 25 lbs this year, I'm convinced at least half of it was in my boobs - bummer! And the real problem is that plus size clothes are cut based on the assumption that if your ass is big, so are your boobs!

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  33. I have major GI issues. I even have my only DNF because of it. After visiting every single port-a-potty between the start and mile 7, I was ready to pass out. I decided 6.1 more miles of that wouldn't work. If I don't eat before, I'm good, but I can't not eat for certain distances. I'm still trying to figure this out.

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  34. I'm still clawing my way out of this pit of injury. I go back & forth on reading blogs - love/hurt thing. But I DEFINITELY trip all runners I see who are just out there to taunt me. Assholios.

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  35. I know every toilet on every one of my routes. New routes where the toilets are a mystery fill me with fear. I carry tissues in my Spibelt and they're not for blowing my nose. I totally get your GI tract.

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  36. Running with a turtle head poking out is no fun! I had to cut a run short last week because of it. I love reading running blogs whether injured or not. They get me pumped and I can't wait to get out an run afterwards! No mammogram for me and my boobs are pretty small, though i'd like them to be bigger in a body building way, not "Fight Club" man boobs kind of way! Great blog. We gotta get more guys commenting!

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  37. I'm so glad i read your blog because you seem to post things right when i need them. went to the dr today and was told i shouldn't run for a few *months* (cue pathetic sad face). This summer i signed up for my first marathon for the fall and had not even started my training...say, wanna do a marathon in november??

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  38. I recently had a less than professional mammo tech too. Yes, I know they are small - they have been all my life. But it really ticked me off because I know she sees all sorts of body shapes and sizes all day. I work very hard on mine and I look good. So if she felt it was okay to be snide with me, holy cow what on earth is she doing to others who may be more sensitive? Yikes. As luck had it I received a follwo up call wondering about their customer service and I shared.

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  39. Re: GI issues... GIRLFRIEND! I am to the point where I take Immodium AD if I am going to run more than 4 miles. The "trots" always seem to come at about mile 4.5 for me... And my long runs are done on a 7 mile loop around my neighborhood with my gym on one end, a McDonald's on the other, and my house in the middle. So there is always a toilet nearby. I once got too far from home and had to call my hubby to pick me up because I had to poo so badly.

    Sidebar: I can't believe I'm posting this on the internet!!

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  40. When you mentioned pancakes I scrolled to where/how I had missed something about you bringing pancakes with you to the Dr's office....Um, geeze.

    Anywho! I've had some GI issues on my morning run-dates lately. Luckily we run by plenty of small businesses - none of which are open at 6 a.m., but if I needed to bust a door down, maybe I could. And there's STarbucks, which may as well be open 24 hrs a day.

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  41. How does the discomfort of cheek-clenching compare to childbirth? I've had to waddle and pray I don't poop my pants in front of traffic. Once I did have to stop and just go in full view of the cars, holding my shorts as far to the side as possible. You must love being the blog where people feel free to discuss their movements.

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  42. Having a baby was the best thing that ever happened to my boobs. I went up three cup sizes! Truth be told I miss my small boobs, my shirts just don't fit anymore. I'm sure the minute I stop breastfeeding they'll be back to their good old A cup.

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  43. My GI problems are generally after I get back from a long run. I like reading blogs while injurged. It dies help my mind stay in the game.

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  44. GAH do I abhor mammograms. And I've only had one. Also, my boobs are totally shrinking and the first place I lose weight when I drop a half lb here or there. I only gain weight in my beer gut.

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  45. I'm not injured, but 6+months pregnant and haven't been running for at least 3-4 months--running just didn't agree with me and being pregnant. But I miss it so much, and totally sympathize with everyone who has said they tear up when they see people run. I get particularly self-pitying when I see a group of women run, b/c I miss my running group so much!
    As for the technician, I've found that most don't adhere to professional guidelines...some of the things that have been said to me when I've had ultrasounds, etc, are completely out of line.

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  46. I have major GI issues. In fact, on a recent run, I had an intimate encounter with the corn fields. My H told me I had sunk to new levels. I literally plan my LRs around where bathrooms are - it's amazing how many churches are unlocked at all hours of the day. I wish I could figure it out. I can make it through a marathon by severely limiting my food the week before, but I can't eat like that all the time so I am stuck with finding bathrooms, or what can stand in for a bathroom, all over town. It sucks. I actually asked my non-running doctor about it and she was baffled. Oh well. I'll just shut up and run. ;-)

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  47. I have perfect boobs and everyone is jealous. The techs fight to touch them. The get smashed and bounce right back. I have never been injured and never will be. I read all blogs because I am a speed reader and I comment on and love them all - all the time. I don't even know how to fart. My GI works better than a cadillac and I am fast as shit.

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  48. I love to read running blogs, it's my inspiration I love it. As far as the GI well I'm on my way to the doc this afternoon to get tested for crohn's disease so you can only imagine! My sister-in-law calls it P.I.C.O (key word for poop is coming out!) then we know we need to find a safe spot. My last mammogram I had just gotten back from a run and although I showered the tech told me I was her sweatiest client! nice.

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  49. You obviously gained weight in your ear lobe...just the right one. Damn, that exchange sucks--nice bedside manner tech?!! Boo, hiss!

    So glad you got you run on Beth!!!

    Totally have GI issues...I have found the high sugar gels = cramping and possible sharting.

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  50. I'll cut right to the GI question: During my last half marathon for the first time, I had the worst cramps 3/4 ways into the first mile. That "urge" lasted for about 3 to 4 miles. I was constantly looking for thick weeds, tall and wide trees. Then I thought of you during your Triathlon. I think you suffered cramps and ran through them until they subsided. It worked for me. So with all your crap talk, guess it works to keep us going.

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  51. I would be happy that the tech remembered mt boobs after a whole year. Someone has a crush on you and your knockers!

    I can't handle reading about running when I can't run. I guess I'm a poor sport or something. It just gets me depressed. I try to focus on other things instead, like yoga and reading and friends and actually regaining my social life which kind of gets dumped when I'm in heavy marathon training.

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  52. I have been nursing injuries for most of the past two years, which might have something to do with getting old - your blog, and others a little like it (because there are none that are more than just a little like yours!) have kept me going, helping me to visualise those runs I am going to do when this pain in my foot passes. Thanks so much!

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  53. Boy, can I relate to the case of the incredible shrinking boobs... I've lost about 10 pounds in the last three months, and I'd swear easily half of it came from my already meager boobage... to add insult to injury, I have to go buy smaller bras now!

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  54. Well, so much for rock solid guts during a run. I think I channeled Beth at the wrong time.

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  55. Well it sounds like despite the downsides you've made real progress, and I really enjoy reading about it!

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