The winner of the Interval 4G Waterproof Headphone System for iPod Shuffle is #130 Lisa! She wrote:
Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll tell you how to claim your prize!
Something is wrong around here. I am going bald. How do I know this? It’s not because my hair is seeming terribly thin or you can see my scalp. It is because my family is finding my hair…in their meals.
Gross. I know.
Last week my dad came for dinner. I made Tuscan Stew. I saw him eat a bite with a long hair hanging out of his mouth. I knew it was the cook’s. I knew it was mine.
Yesterday I peeled an orange for Emma (yeah, I know she can peel it herself. I’m so damn enabling sometimes). An orange is innocent enough, but I heard her panicky voice yell, “There is a hair in my orange segment.”
And if that wasn’t enough, last night I whipped together a breakfast burrito for Sam after baseball. He’s 13 so he stuffs his face with anything edible and consumes about 13,000 calories in two seconds. As he wolfed it down, he did the “hair move” – you know the one – when you realize there is a hair in your mouth, you grab hold if it and pull it out while simultaneously gagging and making a face. I knew it was my hair because he kept pulling and pulling.
Mom you need to start wearing a hair net while you cook!
He still finished the burrito though.
Yes, it’s gross, but more than that it’s disturbing. I am only 44. A hair net is not a bad idea. I might ask the cafeteria ladies at school for one.
Here’s the thing. Maybe I’m just going through seasonal shedding, like a dog. Or hormonal changes. Probably not a big deal.
I did hear something disturbing recently, however. About hair loss. The headline was, “Causes of Pubic Hair Loss.” Yes, balding down there with age. Dang, it sucks to get old. At least I’ll be clean shaven for the pool. No wonder those pussy posse ladies always look so trimmed. Good news is, you can buy a wig specifically for that area. It’s called a merkin. I’m not kidding. Look it up.
Do you shed? What hair care products to you use to keep your hairs healthy?
Speaking of, I’m off to the pool for 2,000 yards. Happy Friday.