Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Best Q & A Ever

My firstborn, Sam, is 14 today. You may recall the post I devoted to him when he turned 13, HERE. If you have kids much littler than mine, I know you think they will never be 14. But, they WILL and it is freaking weird and wonderful at the same time.

Everyone thinks their kid is the cat’s meow, but Sam is the LION’S ROAR.

That was then:

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And, this is now:

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Words don’t often escape me, but it’s tough to do justice to someone like Sam. He is all at once witty, compassionate, crude, good humored and intelligent. Instead of trying to describe him, I asked him to answer a couple of questions, so you can get the full SAM flavor. Hot off the press:

Mom: What does being 14 mean to you?

Sam: For me, being 14 means that I get to watch TV 14 shows. Also, it means that I’m supposed to start getting really pissy (I can’t picture that happening!) That’s pretty much it.

Mom: If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

Sam: If I could change one thing about my life it would probably be that I could have more motivation to do things such as homework, practice various things, etc…

Mom: What’s it like having me (SUAR) as your mom. Be honest.

Sam: Having SUAR as a mom is cool I guess. It’s not like I read your blog or anything. You are still the same awesome mom you were before you had a blog. Just sometimes you think you’re really cool just because you’re a runner and have a blog and are sponsored by a chocolate milk company.

Mom: What is your earliest memory?

Sam: My earliest memory is coming out of your v***** and seeing you smile. Just kidding. It’s probably going to that church school daycare.

Mom: What do you hope to be doing ten years from today?

Sam: Ten years from today I’ll probably be partying with my friends in my high-rise condo, talking to Aunt Donna and throwing up from eating so much Ben and Jerry’s. Then as a present I’ll probably buy myself a cat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Better than throwing up from drinking too much.

I told you. Words can’t describe. I know you love him as much as I do. When you are in the stirrups and pushing that huge head out, you have no idea the journey that is in store for you. It has been a complete and total honor to be Sam’s mom.

Happy birthday my boy. You are priceless and amazing. I love you as a son, but I really, really like you as a person.

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I’ll love you forever, I’ll like for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.

Love,

MOM

44 comments:

  1. That is freaking funny

    You can really make his day and tell him that he can find kittens for free

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  2. Just wait until he's in his senior year of high school. I am the oldest in my family, and my senior year of high school, you so much as mention a memory, a college, graduation, or show my mother any old picture, she would start crying and hugging me until I couldn't breathe.

    I'm guessing I'll understand someday when I have kids. That's what I'm chalking it up to. :-)

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  3. Can he really throw out a word like "whohina" without giggling and blushing?

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  4. Did he really say the V word?!

    Your last line... my mom used to read me that book.

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  5. He is cool...just like his mom! Hilarious line about his first memory!!

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  6. Happy Birthday Sam!! You share a B-day with my Pumpkin Face. She's 11 and thinks that means she's too grown up for princess parties anymore. Why do you kids grow up?

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  7. His answer to the last question cracked me up! haha

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  8. Happy Birthday Sam! You are a cool kid!

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  9. I have twin 14 year-old boys...I feel your pain. :-) They're the best, most incredible, most inspiring, most frustrating, most loving things that ever happened to me.

    Happy birthday, Sam!

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  10. Dude, he is one cool cat! Witty, funny, smart....sounds a little like someone I know.....YOU! For real, I wonder where he gets his sense of humor from. What is your husband like? Happy Birthday to your Sam! Hope it is a great day.

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  11. No! It's not true! They never grow up, they never grow up!!!!!!!

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  12. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM! You sound pretty darned grown up for 14.

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  13. Chip off the old block with that vag word.

    I can't believe he did not say clogging the toilet at the high-rise condo after puking because he ate too much Ben and Jerry's. c'mon Sam you have a lot to live up to.

    Happy Birthday BTW!

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  14. Thanks for making me cry first thing in the morning. I never could read that book to my Sam out loud, not when he was a baby, not now. Happy 14th Sam!

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  15. Just plain awesome :)

    I love the last line of your post - I read that book to my son and I will say that to him forever.

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  16. That was awesome! I have two sons, 5 1/2 and almost 3. I can only hope they grow up to be witty, compassionate, and so awesome!

    Happy Birthday to your Boy! They are the Best!

    (Love the line from the book. I can't read that without tearing up...once you get past the fact that she's a total freakin' stalker.)

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  17. He's such a character. All of your Sam stories always crack me up. Happy Birthday!!!

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  18. Best post ever, thank you Sam for making me LOL!

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  19. Happy Birthday Sam! I too have a 14 year old (girl) and I think she's "da bomb" although there are days I would trade her for a Take 5 bar but all in all she's mine....all mine!

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  20. Happy Birthday Sam!
    I have little's that are still little and I can't imagine having a 14 year old!
    I think you've summed it up; cool, amazing, weird...

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  21. Love this! Happy birthday to the boy!

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  22. I'm sure you weren't exactly 'smiling' right when he popped out your V, but shortly thereafter! Please ask him these same questions when he turns 18!! Please tell him Happy Birthday, since he doesn't read your AWESOME blog!

    P.S. I'd think I was pretty cool too if I was sponsored by choco milk!!

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  23. That was so sweet and your son has a great sense of humor like his mom. I am a little misty eyed because at the end you quoted from a book I can not read without weeping and you made me realize that my little babies are going to be grown before I know it! Happy Birthday to Sam!

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  24. That is awesome. Happy birthday to your boy. Sounds like he gets his witty humor and crude (awesome) jokes from his mom. He's gonna be a lady killer. If he isn't already...

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  25. LOL- that's great! My son is 4 and I am constantly telling him to stop growing, but he just won't listen! He'll be 14 before I know it...

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  26. LOVED. THIS. What a special guy. I got a tear in my eye at the end. I sometimes have a hard time believing the warp jump in speed my life took the day I had my children. Already my first decade as a mom is behind me and my son is a moose of a 10.5 year old (5', 119 lbs), but still my little boy who wants a hug before bed and to sleep with the same stuffed dog he's slept with for the last 10 years. I'll have to try a Q&A with him someday!

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  27. LOL "and buy myself a cat"

    Young, naive Sam. Little does he know that you can find those for free roaming around the neighborhood all over the place! I found like 3 in my neighbors back yard in a cage on his patio. Free cats!

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  28. He sounds like a lot of fun. Is he a lot like you? My oldest is. It's good and bad :P

    Happy Birthday, Sam! I hope you let your mom visit you in your high-rise and that you share your Ben and Jerry's with her!

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  29. Awesome!!!!

    Love "I'll love you Forever" I just read it (again) to my 16 year old about 4 months ago. :)

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  30. I have two boys, my own Sam is 2 1/2 (tear). Congrats on your awesome kid!

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  31. I don't want my baby to grow up. :-( Ok she can grow up as long as she loves me as much as Sam loves you.

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  32. Whew, with tear filled eyes (cuz I'm a momma) Happy Birthday Sam!

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  33. Awwww. "Love You Forever". I am in tears. Now I have to go upstairs and read the book again. 4 grown sons later it still makes me cry. Sam is a wonderful son - enjoy!

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  34. Awesome kid you are raising. And for me, it's hard to think of them 10 years from now, off on their own. Goes way too fast!

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  35. He certainly came from your womb, "My earliest memory is coming out of your v***** and seeing you smile. Just kidding..."

    happy birthday Sam. You are pretty freaking cool.

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  36. I was so expecting a comment about pooping...what a let down...HA!

    Hey, I have a 14 yr. old girl...actually her b-day is in May so she would be an "older" girl for Sam. She (my girl) has said for the last couple of years that she would love to meet a "cowboy" from Colorado...is he a cowboy?

    HA...ha...

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  37. Seems like an amazing kid…luck mom…lucky son. If I have kids I hope I have that kind of relationship.

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  38. sniff, sniff...great post! Love the quote at the end - love that book.

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  39. Hilarious interview. I have no kids, but I sure do love my puppy! (I know, NOT the same thing).

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  40. So funny and so sweet :) happy birthday to your little boy!

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  41. He's adorable. Get's his good lucks, and sense of humor, from his momma :).

    Just wait until they're 21...you won't even believe you can have one that old cuz no way in hell you're old enough to have one that old.

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  42. "He is all at once witty, compassionate, crude, good humored and intelligent". Sounds like a chip off the ole block!
    Happy Birthday to Sam! They do grow up fast. Madi will be a senior in high school next year.

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  43. How sweet! Such innocence... ahh. I hope he stays that way and only vomits from too much ice cream and not too much vodka. Good kid. :) Happy Birthday to HIM!

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