Friday, October 28, 2011

SUAF

First off, go read my newest Athleta Chi article HERE especially if you’re having a tough time getting motivated to exercise.

Now onto important matters.

 

haha.

This is the story of my life and has secretly been one of the reasons I don’t run on the treadmill, besides the fact that I hate it and it’s boring. On Wednesday, however, I HAD to resort to 6 miles on the ‘mill due to 10 inches of wet slushy snow. There have been way too many times where I play the Fart Guessing Game (FGG) at the gym either on the treadmill or the yoga mat.

Thought process:

Okay I feel one coming. Anyone around? Yeah, there is that guy on the stationary bike right behind me. But I think he has on iPod on, so it would only be the smell issue. But, I wonder if that girl next to me on the treadmill would hear. Well, I think I can let this one out, and maybe I can do it slowly so no one hears it. Oh never mind. I’ll just hold it. Man, it hurts to hold it. Maybe I should push “pause” and go in the bathroom and take care of this. But, I don’t want to interrupt my run. Maybe I should take off my iPod for a minute so I can at least hear what I’m doing. Screw it. I’m going for it. Everyone will just have to deal. Shut up and fart (SUAF).

Ever play the FGG or do you just SUAF?

Happy Friday!

SUAR

48 comments:

  1. I would do it, then give a look at the guy on the bike, hoping people will see me and blame him

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  2. BDD: genius, kind of like the dog. Maybe I should just bring my dog with me to the gym.

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  3. I have to treadmill run sometimes and I always blame the guy next to me. Or I just ignore it and realize that only real athletes have the ability to fart and run at the same time so they can just shut it.

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  4. ALL THE TIME!

    I love this game. It's like being a spy and looking around and wondering when is the right time to go for the top secret file.

    Best game of all time.

    At Austin last weekend on the run I was headed downhill and just passed two chicks and coming up on another guy. I don't care at this point and so I let one fly and its loud. Triathlon = NO HEADPHONES!

    The guy hears and is laughing as I pass and says 'you should be careful with those you never know what is coming next'

    My response: Dude its like the X button on the playstation it gives you speed

    And with that I took off running......

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  5. Hence the reason I HAVE a treadmill at home! I can let 'er rip anytime whether or not I have iPod on or not... Just sayin! Lol'

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  6. Bahaha this is the best ever! I totally know exactly what you mean! I usually just go for it. I never know the people so what do I care?! haha

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  7. Haha oh man, that text...

    If I'm debating hold it / let it go, it's only because of the smell. Steamy yoga room? Ew. Sweaty gym? Ew. But hey, when it's an "emergency", definitely just SUAF.

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  8. Heather @ Dietitian on the RunOctober 28, 2011 at 7:05 AM

    On another note, I thought you had created another acronym with "BDD" - blame the damn dog?

    JUST realized what it actually refers to.

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  9. I thought I was the only one that had this issue!

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  10. The WORST is in the middle of pilates or yoga when everything's quiet and you don't even see it coming. I'm not sure if it's worse to be the farter or the one trying really hard not to giggle at the farter.

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  11. I do what Big Daddy Diesel said, but only if it has the smell :)

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  12. hey, i think it's even worse when you're running the trail outside at the park and feel the urge. It's outside so i don't even worry about smell, it's just the sound! I find it impossible to run and hold it at the same time, so what's one to do when approaching someone?! Mostly I just pray. (and i'm serious). "Lord, please help me to get past these people first!" And then I add lots of coughing sounds just in case. ;-)

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  13. Let it rip really loud, laugh and say, sorry, better pedal faster to get away from the fumes...

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  14. Just as with weights: slowly, and with control.

    It's great during a race though: I just generally announce to those around me: "sorry, got to do this". Everyone understands.

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  15. haha... same dilemma at the dinner table... i went with feeling better and just let it out ;) blamed it on the dog who was on the other side of the room... no shame lol ;)

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  16. Sadly, people around me love this game on airplanes. EVERY time.
    as far as the gym...LET er rip!

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  17. I wish my only problem would be having to ... (just can't bring my self to say the "F" word) TOOT on the mill. It's always something more and you simply have to stop and interrupt the run for that.

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  18. the only reason for not letting it out would be Hugh Jackman on the TM next to me! Let it out and be proud!!!!

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  19. FART, I should have known the F was for fart but I had to click. I thought you were getting all x rated on us. Shut up and FART...yes yes...this makes way more sense. Okay, this was my one blog comment of the morning. Now off this thing. Gosh, you could do an entire post on "guess that SUA?" SUAK, SUAWYB, SUAL, SUAKM,....It could be "GUESS that ending to SUAR's SUA_____. Okay, I need more coffee. Great Athleta article. You are surely one of their better writers.

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  20. True story: I was 14 months pregnant and in a crowded bar (not my idea) standing around one of those tall tables. It was loud in there and I made the decision to go ahead and squeeze it out. The waitress came back to take another drink order and only seconds after she had walked away the most horrendous smell ever emitted from my ass wafted to shoulder level. Everyone in my party was aghast and made mention of the the nerve of that waitress to crop dust our table! I dove onto the bandwagon. Shameful waitress!

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  21. i run on the treadmill at least twice a week and I aaaalways play that game. i gave into it a long time ago and just fart. sometimes its even the ridiculous fart with each step...but i figure if the people next to me are running, theyve done it before too...its not like the gym police will kick me out....although ive done it do frequently that i have wondered if they can kick you out for farting

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  22. I have the luxury of having a treadmill at home but back in the good ole days I went with BDD, let er rip and then look at someone else like "OMG I can't believe they did that here!" Of course I'm not terribly shy about my farts so I just let them rip whenever and where ever, if I get to blame someone else for them for my own selfish enjoyment than all the better.

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  23. This is why I am sooo happy we now have a treadmill at home!!!

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  24. Oh my Lord. I always do it... and I don't even feel bad. If I'm movin' my body, I'm gonna be movin' some gas.

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  25. I always let it out! When I do it on the Mill, I end up doing some sort of funky chicken dance to fan the smell away from me. Often times I start choking on my own stink...

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  26. I take the approach similar to: If a tree falls down and no one is around does it make a noise... except.

    If I fart and don't hear it that means no one else did either.

    Happy Tooting!

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  27. You are officially my new favorite blog. Can't believe I just started reading... Too hysterical to miss. Plus, you live in CO! I live in Estes Park (and ran through the snow storm until I almost crack my head open on some ice, then I hit the tread this morning).

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  28. You are too funny! Just go for it :-) When we do formation runs, it's always a guessing game as to where that smell came from if you are an unlucky member who is in the rear of the pack!

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  29. I used to worry about it but then it never failed someone else would fart and I would feel guilty, like people thought it was me. so now I don't care and there is so many "old" people at my gym I blame it on them. Don't send hate mail about the "old" people: I mean my grandma old...and she can't hold her farts either!

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  30. You say ten inches of wet slushy snow like it's a bad thing. I totally go with SUAF. No matter when or where. Well, maybe not a job interview - did you ever see that episode of dead like me?

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  31. I'm with BDD. Besides, if you stop and go to the bathroom, then everyone knows what you are doing anyway.....Although they may not have to smell it.

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  32. No games…except that one BDD suggested :P

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  33. So glad I never have to run on a treadmill - the decisions are way too hard.

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  34. That's why my mill is at home in the basement.


    I still wonder how old my kid will be before I can't blame it on something we just ran by???

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  35. Bwahahaha!

    I play the game all the time but like you end up saying "F it" and let it go.

    Then I pretend it wasn't me.

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  36. LOL! That's the benefit of having a treadmill at home!

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  37. OMG!! Not only was this post hilarious, but the comments!! I have been laughing the whole time!
    I have a treadmill at home- but I guess I could still blame the cats!

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  38. Oh my gosh that was funny. I always seem to pick the machine directly behind the farter. It is very unfortunate.

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  39. That text conversation is hilarious! Love it!

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  40. I like to play that game when I'm the one passing the gas but not when I'm the one guessing which one let it slip around me...

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  41. haha...been there many a time! it's horrible, but i've gotten to the point where i just have to let them go and hope they are silent. if they're not i do as other say and look around pretending it was someone else. luckily now i have my own treadmill and i can gas the place up until the pain peels!

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  42. If Paula Radcliffe can poop on the side of the road while running London Marathon I see no problem with passing a little gas while on the dreadmill.

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  43. There is definitely a decision making process when it comes to this. But better out than in. Just hope that you don't get more than you bargained for.

    'The Kidless Kronicles

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  44. When we train for our team events, it's a spoken rule about bodily functions: Anything goes, nobody cares. If you gotta go, you go: pee, poop, gas, loogey...whatever...

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  45. You need your own TV show. YOU CRACK ME UP. I've never played either game but might start now...haha.

    xo
    Sarah
    Get Up & Go

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  46. i hold it until i can get to a church and pray the fart away. Then i let it rip against the wooden bench and start the quest for a new church.

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