I walked into one of my favorite coffee shops after a nipply run. Nestled amongst the gluten free banana bread and whole grain bagels was this specimen:
The bacon covered donut. I hate to admit how much I love these two things separately. Call me crazy, but marrying these items together doesn’t work for me. I would put this in the same category as the deep fried Twinkie. Or, better yet, the deep fried stick of butter.
The baristas were all singing the praises of this doughy piece of decadence. Just the thought of it made me gag. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good donut. But, I don’t need no pig on my donut.
This donut is a sign of the times. It is not enough to have a piece of fried dough filled with custard and topped with chocolate icing – one must grace it with some bacon. We’re a society of contradictions and extremes. School lunches need to be healthier, our nation is FAT! Hey – do you want an artery clogging donut?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately how nothing is good enough anymore. Can’t just have a kid’s birthday party at home – have to go to a fancy hotel in a limo. Can’t just run a marathon – have to qualify for Boston. Can’t just sit at your desk and work, have to do kegels while typing (that vagina NEEDS to be strong!). Can’t just get a B-cup boob job, have to go for double H’s. Can’t just have a glazed donut, have to add some bacon. Even the damn donut wants to be an over achiever!
Thoughts?
PS: My email inbox is cleared, so if you’ve been trying to email me at beth@shutupandrun.net, it should go through now.
I will admit to trying the chocolate covered bacon from the fair. It was okay. I mostly tried it just to say I did. I can't imagine people coming in looking for a bacon covered donut on a daily or monthly basis. ACK!
ReplyDeleteThe sweet against the salty flavor rocks. :)
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty I believe it's what's beneath the bacon that's bad for you.
ReplyDeleteI just LOLd and read the entire 'kegel while typing line' to everyone in my office. Thanks SUAR for making my shitty day better!
ReplyDeleteNipply run? Sounds perky!
ReplyDeleteSo true -- when is enough ever going to be enough?!
ReplyDeleteHave you ever been to VooDoo donuts in Portland, Oregon?? They specialize in ridiculous donuts and they have a bacon one that is a best seller. I tried it and it literally made my arteries collapse on the spot (I think.) It just tasted like it was sooo bad for me! Had to chuck it ;)
Kara: not sure I'd say that bacon is "better" than a donut, but that's just me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything you said. This would be my 3rd running the Marine Corps Historic Half in Fredericksburg, VA if I decide to sign up. However I thought about doing the relay to mix things up a bit. Then the overachiever in me said "that's not enough" you gotta do all 13.1 miles. But seriously why? No need. I don't need to overachieve at everything I do -
ReplyDeleteI just read an article about a guy who had a heart attack while eating at Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas and then I read your blog about the bacon donut. What is up with all this unhealthy food now a days?
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on everything EXCEPT bacon. Bacon is never over the top. :)
ReplyDeleteBacon on maple donuts - Sorry - but I gotta disagree on this one. Voodoo's maple bacon donuts are divine!!! I'll continue to eat them :-) and next time you think about throwing yours away Heather@just a Colorado girl!!!! ....drop it by my house so I can finish it off for you ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou must have read the news story about the little girl who was forced to throw our her mom's packed lunch (containing a turkey sandwich) and eat the school's "healthier" chicken nugget lunch. Total crap.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/02/14/preschoolers-homemade-lunch-replaced-with-nuggets/?intcmp=obnetwork
Anyway, seems like our desire for excess has the reverse effect. Double H tits hinder functional and athletic activity, and bacon donuts turn us into Paula Deen.
Funny, I was thinking about something similar when I saw a news article about a guy having a heart attack while eating at a place called "The Heart Attack Grill" in Vegas.
ReplyDeleteOh, irony.
I admit, I like a good old artery-clogging indulgence now and then... the problem is when people think it is okay or even normal to eat things like this on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteI am kind of morbidly intrigued by that one... but I would never order it.
I almost choked on my overachieving pancake just now reading your post- thx 4 the laugh!
ReplyDeleteCome visit us in PDX, we'll show you the true over-achieving donuts and if you give us 24 hrs notice we'll get you the Voodoo Doughnut special. ;-) (Cockandballs)
ReplyDeletei recently had a bacon topped maple donut (made by Dizzy Donuts) purchased at Boom Yogurt after my 9 mile run.(I love Boulder!) I might eat a donut maybe once or twice a year so I gotta make it count!
ReplyDeleteI oe donuts and bacon (I don't eat them too often), but never together!! Ewww!!
ReplyDeleteLOVE. THIS!
ReplyDeleteLife is all about choices and consequences....If i choose to have what looks to be an amazing donut then I will work extra harder at the gym! If I choose to Kegel at my desk all day, well then......I won't pee my pants when I run :)
ReplyDeleteAnon: well said!
ReplyDeleteI'd leave it behind. Not too crazy about donuts. YUCK!
ReplyDeleteI guess I shouldn't mention that I made bacon and maple ice cream. A little once in a while is fine, more than that it's too much.
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't be more correct and I have been railing against this for so long.
ReplyDeleteI noticed it with packaged goods first.
Oreos - plain and simple. NOW vanilla oreos, double stuff, mint, strawberry. The oreo was a perfect vehicle for milk and these other imposters are not necessary.
Doritos - Nacho Cheese. Done. Then cool ranch came along and well that was good. Now taco (isn't that a fucking nacho rolled up?), buffalo, sour cream and all this other shit.
Fig Newtons - it's a FIG. It is not a strawberry fig....there is no such f'n thing. It is a FIG FUCKING NEWTON.....leave well enough alone.
Oh my god.....you've done it and gotten me fired up.
need to breathe.....
IDK Suar, I don't like either one. I know crazy health food nut ball that I am, I would take sliced tomatoes and lowfat cottage cheese over that doughnut crap covered heart attack waitin to happen any day. AND I'm from the south-not normal for these parts :)
ReplyDeletebtw I do believe that when you run as much as you do-you can occasionally eat whatever the hell you want to
Krista - YES!! And I do eat donuts. But I know that a bacon/donut would make me crap my pants more than normal.
ReplyDeleteSomeone should coat that whole thing in batter and deepfry it…THAT would make it even better :)
ReplyDeleteBacon has just been a trendy food item for a while. You can put bacon on anything and it usually pares well. Cost Plus, of all places, is the only place in Boise that I know of, that has Bacon Torani syrups. lol I have not tried it yet, but one day, this bacon lover will.
ReplyDeleteBacon goes with EVERYTHING. It.Just.Does.
ReplyDeleteSign of the times...exactly! Paula Dean recently found out she has diabetes. Shocking? No! She is famous for her cheeseburger that is made using donuts as buns. I couldn't believe it when I saw it...no kidding.
ReplyDeleteWe have a gourmet donut shop (Blue Collar Joe's) in town and one of their best selling donuts is the Blueberry Pancake Breakfast donut. It is a blueberry donut topped with a maple glaze and what they call "smoked bacon dust" (basically just bacon crumbles). It is absolutly delicious. The bacon is very subtle though, unlike it would be in the one you took a picture of. Don't knock it til ya try it!
ReplyDeleteDonut with bacon.. no thanks. I will keep them segregated but still show them love equally.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that when I read kegel I started doing them at my desk. Hope it makes the day go by faster.
My thoughts..."AMEN TO THAT!"
ReplyDeleteI am a fan of bacon. But my fav match up is reeses peanut butter cup and home grown bacon. I run, therefore I splurge...so worth it :)
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Chocolate covered bananas are like that for me -- love them separately, together it's just gross.
ReplyDeleteThanks for a giggle...I'm doing kegels as I type. :-)
I'd eat the hell out of that thing knowing full well that a shart was in my future (-:
ReplyDeleteMakes me sick! And also a little ashamed to be an American
ReplyDeleteYuck! Luckily I think it looks gross and would not grace it on my lips or even try it to say I did. Ew! I fortunately am not a big donut eater BUT I will credit the place I work for bringing donuts ever month for birthdays, as if we were not fat enough, so it's nothing new and I just pass them by. I am a sucker for chocolate and ice cream but not donuts thankfully!
ReplyDeletePeople just like to pretend that having will power is SO MUCH HARDER than it actually is so that they can cling to the excuse that it's not their fault that they're fat. "The doughnut's right there in front of me. I HAVE to eat it!"
ReplyDeleteMy whole thing is... will power isn't even an issue if you work out hard enough (and take a good multi-vitamin, just to fill in the holes the chocolate leaves behind).
Yuck, yuck, yuck!
ReplyDeleteI actually bought that donut at VooDoo in PDX - in the middle of a 14 mile run! Then carried it all the way back to my hotel before eating it. It was OK. Kinda felt like I got in a hurry and crammed all my breakfast- pancakes and bacon- into my mouth at once!
ReplyDeleteBacon on donuts? SICK! I'm trying to make my ass tighter, not fatter.. Your right though our Nation is FAT! I can't seem to go out for a run without being staired at the entire time.. People either try and hit me cause their stairing so bad or they STILL try and hit me cause they act like they DON'T see me... Its ridiculous.. Just like that bacon donut..
ReplyDeleteSUAR...I agree completely. Gross.
ReplyDeleteJason: We LOVE Oreos in our house and have a cookie jar with "cookies are a GO" and "Cookies are a no" for it. That's just for the Oreos. And yes, I buy my son one share of stock for every birthday. It started as a joke but the boy loves his Oreos. I recently found out I am allergic to chocolate. Golden Oreos are my friend. The rest of them are ridiculous. But praise the Lord for Golden Oreos.
Cynthia: Me too!
Tess - I am happy for you that they make them that way then. Being allergic to chocolate has to be very very hard.
ReplyDeleteAll that being said I can't recall the last time I had an Oreo and I love the idea of buying 1 share of stock for the boys birthday. That is true dollar cost averaging....haha!
Jason: Come holidays like the one just past...it's a little tough, yes. And at least with the stock I feel like I'm paying someone I love! I buy a LOT of double stuff Oreos.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that the idea of bacon on a doughnut is quite odd, maybe extreme in certain perspectives. However, if you look at it the right way, it actually makes sense.
ReplyDeleteAwhile ago, Philedelphians (is that what they're called?)decided that they'd try something crazy. What are the two types food you munch on for flavor? Sweets and salty foods. Right? Why not add something salty to ice cream. Bam! Pretzels became a dipping stick, a crumbled topping, and even the basis for the cone.
So with doughnuts, which are quite sweet, why not add something salty. And doughnuts are breakfast foods typically, so let's go with a salty breakfast food. Bacon!
with that said, I agree that it's a bit ridiculous the number of calories and types of food we eat. But it makes sense from a flavor point of view.
Heck, I'd eat one!
You need to try it! Portland's Voodoo Donut is famous for it (and many other crazy combos). It is amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteit tastes great...but doesn't make you feel good at all--not worth it!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate bacon, but have never been a fan of donuts, so this one has no appeal to me. Call me an under-achiever... (And I thought I was so Type-A!)
ReplyDeleteI know many love this combo, but that doesn't peak my interest a bit!
ReplyDeleteAnd, here's to STRONG vaginas!
ReplyDeleteI threw up a little bit in my mouth as I scrolled past that pic.
ReplyDeleteBut Beth, you are an over achiever! 50 miler this summer and then that just leaves the ultimate ultra, the 100, for next summer, right???
ReplyDeleteAnon: you are right I am an over achiever - so I should force feed myself this donut with bacon after I run and win my first 200 mile race over Mt. Everest. I am READY!
ReplyDeleteAnd yet it surprises people when they hear that cardiovascular disease is the number one killer in the USA ....
ReplyDeleteOh, you are SO MISSING OUT! The donut shop by us does apple-maple-sryup-bacon donuts (little pieces of apple & maple-syrup-marinated bacon, not a giant slab) and they are absolutely to die for. The perfect sweet/salty combination. I'm not saying I have them on a regular basis; just that when I do, it makes me happy for the rest of the day. :)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. Everything is overkill. Now I like bacon, but honestly it's been a long while since I had a donut that didn't totally disgust me. Something about the fat congealing in the mouth...bleah. Kills it for me.
ReplyDeleteSF: I could almost be talked into that!!
ReplyDeleteOh darn! Your kegel exercise comment made me lost my count on the kegel exercises I was doing while reading this post!
ReplyDeleteI agree. Everyone wants to top another person. Especially women. My husband/bf has to be better - has to buy bigger bouquet of flowers for V-day. Wedding has to be bigger. Every one is competing and when they don't get what they want, they get ugly (usually the non runners. The runners are actually graceful and supportive athletes.)
Today was a crappy day! Your blog just made me laugh!!! Thanks:)
ReplyDeleteI would try Sf's bacon donut; that sounds realy delicious.
Ummm...No. I did like chocolate covered bacon!
ReplyDeleteThe flavor is one of Maple syrup pancakes and bacon. It happens to be my husband's favorite. We don't get doughnuts often, but when we do, we don't pick them based on how good they are for us, we go for how good they taste.
ReplyDeleteObviously food choice is personal but I would recommend reading the second half of this article as food for thought.
ReplyDeletehttp://balancedbites.com/2011/05/bacon-health-food-or-devil-in-delicious-disguise.html
Some things just shouldn't be paired together. Bacon and donuts are at the top of that list.
ReplyDeleteOh boy, that is sooo gross. But I think I am the only person alive who hates bacon. So adding bacon to anything grosses me out. But I think you are on to something with everything going over the top. Wouldn't it be nice to just simplify?
ReplyDeletecrap. yes,
ReplyDeleteI have tried.
I have loved.
I have a new 2 pound addition on my asserboobs.
I have to admit my son has eaten one of those and he loved it. Only once for his b'day though. If I got a boob job I would just get a lift. Added size doesn't go with running. Kegals while typing...Done! Didn't even come close to BQ, just happy to cross the finish line. I guess I'm an underachiever and I'm okay with that:)
ReplyDeleteI love bacon (I swear I could eat a whole pound of it at one sitting!), and a good donut occasionally is great, but I don't think I'd go for that--just doesn't appeal to me at all. We get such mixed messages all the time in the media about weight and food. No wonder young girls especially have a problem with body image; nothing is ever enough.
ReplyDeleteI once saw a bacon cookie at a cupcake shop that we love and even the guy working there thought it was gross! A slab of bacon on a doughnut shouldn't seem weird since the doughnut is probably deep fried in lard, but somehow meat on a pastry just seems so wrong!
ReplyDeleteI like my bacon on the side....
ReplyDeleteWow.
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