Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Over-Achieving Donut

I walked into one of my favorite coffee shops after a nipply run. Nestled amongst the gluten free banana bread and whole grain bagels was this specimen:

The bacon covered donut. I hate to admit how much I love these two things separately. Call me crazy, but marrying these items together doesn’t work for me. I would put this in the same category as the deep fried Twinkie. Or, better yet, the deep fried stick of butter.

The baristas were all singing the praises of this doughy piece of decadence. Just the thought of it made me gag. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good donut. But, I don’t need no pig on my donut.

This donut is a sign of the times. It is not enough to have a piece of fried dough filled with custard and topped with chocolate icing – one must grace it with some bacon. We’re a society of contradictions and extremes. School lunches need to be healthier, our nation is FAT! Hey – do you want an artery clogging donut?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately how nothing is good enough anymore. Can’t just have a kid’s birthday party at home – have to go to a fancy hotel in a limo. Can’t just run a marathon – have to qualify for Boston. Can’t just sit at your desk and work, have to do kegels while typing (that vagina NEEDS to be strong!). Can’t just get a B-cup boob job, have to go for double H’s. Can’t just have a glazed donut, have to add some bacon. Even the damn donut wants to be an over achiever!

Thoughts?

SUAR

PS: My email inbox is cleared, so if you’ve been trying to email me at beth@shutupandrun.net, it should go through now.

71 comments:

  1. I will admit to trying the chocolate covered bacon from the fair. It was okay. I mostly tried it just to say I did. I can't imagine people coming in looking for a bacon covered donut on a daily or monthly basis. ACK!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The sweet against the salty flavor rocks. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. In all honesty I believe it's what's beneath the bacon that's bad for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just LOLd and read the entire 'kegel while typing line' to everyone in my office. Thanks SUAR for making my shitty day better!

    ReplyDelete
  5. So true -- when is enough ever going to be enough?!

    Have you ever been to VooDoo donuts in Portland, Oregon?? They specialize in ridiculous donuts and they have a bacon one that is a best seller. I tried it and it literally made my arteries collapse on the spot (I think.) It just tasted like it was sooo bad for me! Had to chuck it ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kara: not sure I'd say that bacon is "better" than a donut, but that's just me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with everything you said. This would be my 3rd running the Marine Corps Historic Half in Fredericksburg, VA if I decide to sign up. However I thought about doing the relay to mix things up a bit. Then the overachiever in me said "that's not enough" you gotta do all 13.1 miles. But seriously why? No need. I don't need to overachieve at everything I do -

    ReplyDelete
  8. I just read an article about a guy who had a heart attack while eating at Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas and then I read your blog about the bacon donut. What is up with all this unhealthy food now a days?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm with you on everything EXCEPT bacon. Bacon is never over the top. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bacon on maple donuts - Sorry - but I gotta disagree on this one. Voodoo's maple bacon donuts are divine!!! I'll continue to eat them :-) and next time you think about throwing yours away Heather@just a Colorado girl!!!! ....drop it by my house so I can finish it off for you ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. You must have read the news story about the little girl who was forced to throw our her mom's packed lunch (containing a turkey sandwich) and eat the school's "healthier" chicken nugget lunch. Total crap.

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/02/14/preschoolers-homemade-lunch-replaced-with-nuggets/?intcmp=obnetwork

    Anyway, seems like our desire for excess has the reverse effect. Double H tits hinder functional and athletic activity, and bacon donuts turn us into Paula Deen.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Funny, I was thinking about something similar when I saw a news article about a guy having a heart attack while eating at a place called "The Heart Attack Grill" in Vegas.

    Oh, irony.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I admit, I like a good old artery-clogging indulgence now and then... the problem is when people think it is okay or even normal to eat things like this on a regular basis.

    I am kind of morbidly intrigued by that one... but I would never order it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I almost choked on my overachieving pancake just now reading your post- thx 4 the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Come visit us in PDX, we'll show you the true over-achieving donuts and if you give us 24 hrs notice we'll get you the Voodoo Doughnut special. ;-) (Cockandballs)

    ReplyDelete
  16. i recently had a bacon topped maple donut (made by Dizzy Donuts) purchased at Boom Yogurt after my 9 mile run.(I love Boulder!) I might eat a donut maybe once or twice a year so I gotta make it count!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I oe donuts and bacon (I don't eat them too often), but never together!! Ewww!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Life is all about choices and consequences....If i choose to have what looks to be an amazing donut then I will work extra harder at the gym! If I choose to Kegel at my desk all day, well then......I won't pee my pants when I run :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'd leave it behind. Not too crazy about donuts. YUCK!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I guess I shouldn't mention that I made bacon and maple ice cream. A little once in a while is fine, more than that it's too much.

    ReplyDelete
  21. You couldn't be more correct and I have been railing against this for so long.

    I noticed it with packaged goods first.

    Oreos - plain and simple. NOW vanilla oreos, double stuff, mint, strawberry. The oreo was a perfect vehicle for milk and these other imposters are not necessary.

    Doritos - Nacho Cheese. Done. Then cool ranch came along and well that was good. Now taco (isn't that a fucking nacho rolled up?), buffalo, sour cream and all this other shit.

    Fig Newtons - it's a FIG. It is not a strawberry fig....there is no such f'n thing. It is a FIG FUCKING NEWTON.....leave well enough alone.

    Oh my god.....you've done it and gotten me fired up.

    need to breathe.....

    ReplyDelete
  22. IDK Suar, I don't like either one. I know crazy health food nut ball that I am, I would take sliced tomatoes and lowfat cottage cheese over that doughnut crap covered heart attack waitin to happen any day. AND I'm from the south-not normal for these parts :)
    btw I do believe that when you run as much as you do-you can occasionally eat whatever the hell you want to

    ReplyDelete
  23. Krista - YES!! And I do eat donuts. But I know that a bacon/donut would make me crap my pants more than normal.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Someone should coat that whole thing in batter and deepfry it…THAT would make it even better :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Bacon has just been a trendy food item for a while. You can put bacon on anything and it usually pares well. Cost Plus, of all places, is the only place in Boise that I know of, that has Bacon Torani syrups. lol I have not tried it yet, but one day, this bacon lover will.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Bacon goes with EVERYTHING. It.Just.Does.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sign of the times...exactly! Paula Dean recently found out she has diabetes. Shocking? No! She is famous for her cheeseburger that is made using donuts as buns. I couldn't believe it when I saw it...no kidding.

    ReplyDelete
  28. We have a gourmet donut shop (Blue Collar Joe's) in town and one of their best selling donuts is the Blueberry Pancake Breakfast donut. It is a blueberry donut topped with a maple glaze and what they call "smoked bacon dust" (basically just bacon crumbles). It is absolutly delicious. The bacon is very subtle though, unlike it would be in the one you took a picture of. Don't knock it til ya try it!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Donut with bacon.. no thanks. I will keep them segregated but still show them love equally.

    Why is it that when I read kegel I started doing them at my desk. Hope it makes the day go by faster.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I am a fan of bacon. But my fav match up is reeses peanut butter cup and home grown bacon. I run, therefore I splurge...so worth it :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Agreed. Chocolate covered bananas are like that for me -- love them separately, together it's just gross.

    Thanks for a giggle...I'm doing kegels as I type. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'd eat the hell out of that thing knowing full well that a shart was in my future (-:

    ReplyDelete
  33. Makes me sick! And also a little ashamed to be an American

    ReplyDelete
  34. Yuck! Luckily I think it looks gross and would not grace it on my lips or even try it to say I did. Ew! I fortunately am not a big donut eater BUT I will credit the place I work for bringing donuts ever month for birthdays, as if we were not fat enough, so it's nothing new and I just pass them by. I am a sucker for chocolate and ice cream but not donuts thankfully!

    ReplyDelete
  35. People just like to pretend that having will power is SO MUCH HARDER than it actually is so that they can cling to the excuse that it's not their fault that they're fat. "The doughnut's right there in front of me. I HAVE to eat it!"

    My whole thing is... will power isn't even an issue if you work out hard enough (and take a good multi-vitamin, just to fill in the holes the chocolate leaves behind).

    ReplyDelete
  36. I actually bought that donut at VooDoo in PDX - in the middle of a 14 mile run! Then carried it all the way back to my hotel before eating it. It was OK. Kinda felt like I got in a hurry and crammed all my breakfast- pancakes and bacon- into my mouth at once!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Bacon on donuts? SICK! I'm trying to make my ass tighter, not fatter.. Your right though our Nation is FAT! I can't seem to go out for a run without being staired at the entire time.. People either try and hit me cause their stairing so bad or they STILL try and hit me cause they act like they DON'T see me... Its ridiculous.. Just like that bacon donut..

    ReplyDelete
  38. SUAR...I agree completely. Gross.

    Jason: We LOVE Oreos in our house and have a cookie jar with "cookies are a GO" and "Cookies are a no" for it. That's just for the Oreos. And yes, I buy my son one share of stock for every birthday. It started as a joke but the boy loves his Oreos. I recently found out I am allergic to chocolate. Golden Oreos are my friend. The rest of them are ridiculous. But praise the Lord for Golden Oreos.

    Cynthia: Me too!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Tess - I am happy for you that they make them that way then. Being allergic to chocolate has to be very very hard.

    All that being said I can't recall the last time I had an Oreo and I love the idea of buying 1 share of stock for the boys birthday. That is true dollar cost averaging....haha!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Jason: Come holidays like the one just past...it's a little tough, yes. And at least with the stock I feel like I'm paying someone I love! I buy a LOT of double stuff Oreos.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I do agree that the idea of bacon on a doughnut is quite odd, maybe extreme in certain perspectives. However, if you look at it the right way, it actually makes sense.

    Awhile ago, Philedelphians (is that what they're called?)decided that they'd try something crazy. What are the two types food you munch on for flavor? Sweets and salty foods. Right? Why not add something salty to ice cream. Bam! Pretzels became a dipping stick, a crumbled topping, and even the basis for the cone.

    So with doughnuts, which are quite sweet, why not add something salty. And doughnuts are breakfast foods typically, so let's go with a salty breakfast food. Bacon!

    with that said, I agree that it's a bit ridiculous the number of calories and types of food we eat. But it makes sense from a flavor point of view.

    Heck, I'd eat one!

    ReplyDelete
  42. You need to try it! Portland's Voodoo Donut is famous for it (and many other crazy combos). It is amazing!!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. it tastes great...but doesn't make you feel good at all--not worth it!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I appreciate bacon, but have never been a fan of donuts, so this one has no appeal to me. Call me an under-achiever... (And I thought I was so Type-A!)

    ReplyDelete
  45. I know many love this combo, but that doesn't peak my interest a bit!

    ReplyDelete
  46. I threw up a little bit in my mouth as I scrolled past that pic.

    ReplyDelete
  47. But Beth, you are an over achiever! 50 miler this summer and then that just leaves the ultimate ultra, the 100, for next summer, right???

    ReplyDelete
  48. Anon: you are right I am an over achiever - so I should force feed myself this donut with bacon after I run and win my first 200 mile race over Mt. Everest. I am READY!

    ReplyDelete
  49. And yet it surprises people when they hear that cardiovascular disease is the number one killer in the USA ....

    ReplyDelete
  50. Oh, you are SO MISSING OUT! The donut shop by us does apple-maple-sryup-bacon donuts (little pieces of apple & maple-syrup-marinated bacon, not a giant slab) and they are absolutely to die for. The perfect sweet/salty combination. I'm not saying I have them on a regular basis; just that when I do, it makes me happy for the rest of the day. :)

    ReplyDelete
  51. I know what you mean. Everything is overkill. Now I like bacon, but honestly it's been a long while since I had a donut that didn't totally disgust me. Something about the fat congealing in the mouth...bleah. Kills it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  52. SF: I could almost be talked into that!!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh darn! Your kegel exercise comment made me lost my count on the kegel exercises I was doing while reading this post!

    I agree. Everyone wants to top another person. Especially women. My husband/bf has to be better - has to buy bigger bouquet of flowers for V-day. Wedding has to be bigger. Every one is competing and when they don't get what they want, they get ugly (usually the non runners. The runners are actually graceful and supportive athletes.)

    ReplyDelete
  54. Today was a crappy day! Your blog just made me laugh!!! Thanks:)

    I would try Sf's bacon donut; that sounds realy delicious.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Ummm...No. I did like chocolate covered bacon!

    ReplyDelete
  56. The flavor is one of Maple syrup pancakes and bacon. It happens to be my husband's favorite. We don't get doughnuts often, but when we do, we don't pick them based on how good they are for us, we go for how good they taste.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Obviously food choice is personal but I would recommend reading the second half of this article as food for thought.

    http://balancedbites.com/2011/05/bacon-health-food-or-devil-in-delicious-disguise.html

    ReplyDelete
  58. Some things just shouldn't be paired together. Bacon and donuts are at the top of that list.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Oh boy, that is sooo gross. But I think I am the only person alive who hates bacon. So adding bacon to anything grosses me out. But I think you are on to something with everything going over the top. Wouldn't it be nice to just simplify?

    ReplyDelete
  60. crap. yes,
    I have tried.
    I have loved.
    I have a new 2 pound addition on my asserboobs.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I have to admit my son has eaten one of those and he loved it. Only once for his b'day though. If I got a boob job I would just get a lift. Added size doesn't go with running. Kegals while typing...Done! Didn't even come close to BQ, just happy to cross the finish line. I guess I'm an underachiever and I'm okay with that:)

    ReplyDelete
  62. I love bacon (I swear I could eat a whole pound of it at one sitting!), and a good donut occasionally is great, but I don't think I'd go for that--just doesn't appeal to me at all. We get such mixed messages all the time in the media about weight and food. No wonder young girls especially have a problem with body image; nothing is ever enough.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I once saw a bacon cookie at a cupcake shop that we love and even the guy working there thought it was gross! A slab of bacon on a doughnut shouldn't seem weird since the doughnut is probably deep fried in lard, but somehow meat on a pastry just seems so wrong!

    ReplyDelete